Here Are Your Weekend Horoscopes For January 12-14th

This weekend, a fuckton of planets are hanging out in Capricorn: Venus, Mars, Saturn and Pluto. Oh, the Sun is in Capricorn too. That combination could mean your Friday night does not go as planned, so just don’t get your hopes up. Likewise, if any surprises are on the way, they’ll hit you right where it hurts on Saturday and Sunday. If there was a weekend to Netflix and actually chill, this might be it.


The moon in Sagittarius is making you restless and in search of adventure this weekend. You’ve been really distracted from the shit you actually need to get done during the week, so it’s best if you do something this weekend that will get that energy out so you can somewhat focus again by Monday.



Your weekend horoscope calls for a lot of introspection. You might be going a little stir crazy from avoiding the winter weather by staying indoors, so getting out, even if it’s just to fucking finally make it to the gym, will do your mind a lot of good. Clearing out the cobwebs on your stationary bike will do wonders for clearing out the cobwebs in your head.


It’s been a really long time since you’ve been as sexually satisfied as you are now. Even if it’s just the self-love you’ve been getting, things are all right down under. No, not Australia. Anyway, don’t get caught up in wanting to over-discuss aspects of your sex life with others this weekend, even with your partner. Just let the good times roll and save the therapy talk for your shrink.

Sex And The City


You continue your quest to strengthen your partnerships this weekend. Instead of throwing a bitch fit about not getting your way, this weekend you’ll be weirdly motivated to put others before yourself for the sake of preserving relationships. I guess you don’t get to pick the restaurant Friday night, but whatever.


Your weekend starts off really fun on Friday with the Moon in Sagittarius in your fifth house. Even though you’ve got to finish up the daily grind on Friday before the fun weekend activities can start, your vibes are going to be super attractive to those around you. Say hello to a weekend of invites, because people just really want to be around you. NBD.

I Can't Help It That I'm Popular


Your love life has been pretty happy-go-lucky lately. This weekend, troubled waters could be ahead as shit gets real Saturday or Sunday. A surprise situation will have you getting down with serious conversations. Something as simple as who’s grabbing the check at dinner could spark a total come-apart. Be forewarned.


Don’t drunkenly go to bed this weekend without charging your phone. There are important messages on the way. The moon in Saturn is in your third house of communication, so others are really drawn to sharing things with you. Some shit is going down this weekend, and if you just shut the fuck up, everyone will spill the secrets of their soul to you.



You’ve been on your best behavior with how you’re really feeling lately. You haven’t wanted to cause a stir or hurt anyone’s feelings, so you’ve been keeping your lips sealed. Liquid courage this weekend is more likely to start the word vomit. If you hate your bestie’s boyfriend and haven’t told her, or you think your boyfriend’s haircut sucks, do your best to avoid those people this weekend. Er, don’t drink around them at least.


You’ve been smart with your money lately. You keep checking your bank account thinking, “there’s no way that much should be in there.” Don’t blow it all this weekend, though. There are challenges up ahead that you’ll want to get through with some retail therapy. Keep your rainy day fund full, because no one can avoid shitty weather forever, right?

Money On My Mind


Image is a big fucking deal to you. How you look on the socials, hell, even how your boyfriend looks on socials is pretty important. That’s fine, but don’t let it get in the way of having some real, un-filtered moments this weekend. There’s more to life than getting the right picture for Insta. But, like, if you look really cute you should post it anyway. Obvi.


Your status for the past few weeks could be described as “Hermit AF”. You’ve done more staying in than going out. Hey, we all get boring sometimes. I mean, probably more you than me, but whatever. Someone in your life feels like with all your “me time”, you’ve been ignoring them. Try to make the effort to reconnect or some shit this weekend.



Your socializing this weekend could come with a big price tag. You have a lot you’ve been invited to do now that everyone is over their holiday hangover and back to their normal weekly hangover. Keep an eye on the old bank account this weekend and go back and check for unpaid bills so you can still afford to go to happy hour come Monday.

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