If you’re like me and basically spent all of the Olympics debating if this was your sign to finally sign up for an intramural sport, you’re not alone. It’s clear everybody and their mom are obsessed with new hobbies rn, so might as well kill two birds with one stone and also meet attractive people who care about their health. Because in case you haven’t heard, sports are the new dating app. Aside from Olympians redownloading Tinder to find a hookup at the Village, us normies have to get creative to meet cuties IRL and a little summer competition doesn’t hurt. Plus I’ll never turn down orange slices!
If you don’t trust yourself to pick the right sport to try out, why not look to the stars? Astrid Bly, an astrology expert with California Psychics, gave the rundown on the sport each Zodiac sign should play. And since we’re still in the grips of the 2024 Olympics, we’re only including sports competing in Paris. No dodgeball or pickleball league, sorry! We’re getting full-on delulu about what you’d play if you were a world renowned athlete. If my days as a child soccer prodigy speak to anything, I know I would do best picking flowers in the goalie box. Is there an Olympic medal for that?
Aries – Basketball
If it wasn’t already obvious, Aries are an intense Zodiac sign, so they’re deserving of a sport that will challenge them. “The sign of the ram is intense and focused yet dynamic,” Bly says. “They’re willing to do anything to achieve their goals, and very little can get in their way.” As an Aries, I fully support this message. “Basketball is a fast-moving, popular, and skillful, reflecting this sign’s energy and intensity in equal measure.” And if that means I have to spend more time watching the WNBA FOR RESEARCH I would not be mad about it.
Taurus – Lacrosse
Obviously the perfect summer sport for grounded, patient, and loyal Taurus is a team sport. “In the case of the bull, lacrosse is a particularly good fit,” Bly says. “While such an agile sport may seem odd for rooted Taurus, lacrosse is also a sport that requires determination, forcefulness, and reliability — all traits that Taurus possesses in abundance.” Worst case, you get to cosplay as Regina George. If lacrosse isn’t your speed, soccer can also scratch that team spirit itch. Ew?
Gemini – Running
Shocker! Running is the best summer sport for changeable Gemini. “As an air sign, Geminis love moving fast and being free, and this intellectual sign isn’t known for staying still,” Bly says. “And just as each Gemini has two faces, running is best divided into two categories: sprints and long-distance. This versatile and unrestrictive sport is a wonderful fit for the sign of the twins.” Also, it doesn’t hurt that run clubs are as free and plentiful as a sex club in Berlin — and just as horny!
Cancer – Swimming
As a water sign, Cancers being the sport of swimming shouldn’t be particularly surprising. However, this connection goes beyond their elemental similarity. “Passionate and heartful Cancer can benefit from the peaceful, lapping water of the pool,” Bly says. “And even more importantly, the crabs of the zodiac can sometimes be a bit moody, and the competitive elements of swimming can let them work those feelings out more safely.” Sure, no one looks sexy in a swim cap but think of how much emotional control you’ll bring to your next date.
Leo – Gymnastics
Playful, showy, and endlessly charismatic, the best summer sport for the sign of the lion is, of course, gymnastics. “One of the most popular summer sports, gymnastics combines performance with real, hard-earned skill,” Bly says. “It is the perfect match for the vibrant lion, which loves the spotlight and has the energy to hold it.” Also, only Leos would watch Simone Biles at the Olympics and think, yeah, I could do that.
Virgo – Tennis
Whether played single or in doubles, tennis requires balance, a keen eye, and patience, so naturally it’s a fit for a Virgo. “This makes it a wonderful fit for the sign of Virgo, which is both naturally inclined toward harmony (making them great teammates) and independent enough to stand on their own,” Bly says. Also, if I know anything about tennis (a sport that wasn’t invented until Challengers), it comes with access to a lot of hot people.
Libra – Rowing
Libras are allegedly hardworking so they’re best suited to rowing. “This may seem like a slightly counterintuitive match, but Libra is a sign of balance, equilibrium, and mediation,” Bly explains. “They are especially well-known for their natural teamwork and collaboration skills.” Rowing requires perfect synchronization, which is well-suited to this Venus-ruled sign.
Scorpio – Fencing
Scorpios are often magnetic and can be ~difficult to understand,~ but they are also sensitive and can be a bit sharp when pushed (get it, ha?). I would never, but some call them manipulative. “In truth, Scorpios just have a keen understanding of other people,” Bly says. “They’re very astute! This makes fencing an excellent match for them, as this sport is all about evaluating your opponent and striking when the moment is right.” Also, who wouldn’t want an excuse to reenact the camp scene from The Parent Trap?
Sagittarius – Archery
Sagittarius’ sport being archery may seem obvious, but this sign is represented by the archer for a reason! “This sign is straightforward, idealistic, and enthusiastic, constantly cutting straight to the heart of the matter,” Bly says. “They’re also independent and thoughtful. These traits together make the art of archery a perfect match for this sign.” What’s it like being literal cupid? Without the diaper, of course.
Capricorn – Volleyball
“Capricorns have very high standards and are incredibly driven and goal-oriented, though they can be patient when needed,” Bly says. (I’ll believe the patience part when I see it!) “With their natural propensity to always keep their eye on the ball (both literally and figuratively), they are well-suited for the fast-paced and competitive sport of volleyball.” Plus, if you’re going to spend your last summer days rolling around in the sand, it might as well be in a cute bikini top and booty shorts.
Aquarius – Diving
Aquarius is a sign noted for its unique perspective on life. She’s not like other girls! “Freedom-loving and clever, the Aquarius-born adore forging their own path and creating their own way forward,” Bly says. As such, the Aquarius-born may especially enjoy learning the art of the dive this summer, thanks to its individual nature. It also helps that it’s a water sign.
Pisces – Cycling
Known for their natural intuition and compassion, Pisces belong in nature. “Because of this connection to the world and the people in it, the Pisces-born often need time to recharge and sort out their own emotions without any interference from the outside world,” Bly says. “As such, sports that allow some alone time, as well as enable some truly beautiful views, are a great fit for them, which makes biking a lovely fit.” Maybe you’ll be the one to bring back Livestrong bands — minus the scandal.
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