Betches Love This Book: Soulmates

If Lululemon-clad socialites, creepy Marilyn Manson-esque cults, and bizarre sexual fantasies are your idea of a good time, then Soulmates is the fucking book for you.

Jessica Grose’s second book combines love, lust, heartbreak and regret into a betchy rendition of the classic whodunit, set in the world of yoga fanatics and bored housewives. Honestly, if you’ve ever walked into your Monday morning yoga class and wondered if the super tan and super happy betch to your left is potentially a psycopathic murderer, then you’ll totally feel this book.


Soulmates is one long satirical take on the wave of new age spiritualism, and Grose nails it. She is the editor of Lena Dunham’s Lenny Letter, so it obvi shouldn’t come as a shock that she can poke fun at something like a giant fucking orgy of yoga addicts, which is what this book basically is.

The book’s protagonist, Dana, is living an unfulfilled life of monotony in New York. She works too much, is painfully single, and struggles to find happiness outside of her couch/a bottle of wine. Same, TBH.


So when she suddenly finds out her estranged husband (who ran off with his yoga-loving coworker in such a fucking cliché) is murdered near an isolated yoga facility in New Mexico, she obviously loses her shit. Understandable. She marches up to her boss and decides to take her first vacation in years (cannot relate to this) to jet off to New Mexico and unravel the final days of her ex-husband’s life. Just a friendly reminder that this is the same husband who ditched her ass to move to the middle of nowhere with his smoking-hot coworker to get tangled up in an eternal pretzel pose, but obvi Dana had some issues to take care of.


As you would expect with a plot this fucked up, the storyline of Soulmates will draw you in and keep you turning the pages. In some chapters, you’ll find yourself swearing off yoga for the rest of your life. In the next chapter, you’ll find yourself googling the most affordable spiritual retreats in a 100-mile radius.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster and a neverending mindfuck, also known as dating in 2016. Basically, Soulmates is a perfect read for any betch.