So Long Sweet Summer: Here Are Your Labor Day Weekend Horoscopes

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened, Ew. Gag me. We’re full ugly crying that summer is coming to an end. Sure, officially it’s not over until the middle of September or some shit. But we all know the actual summer season is Memorial through Labor Day. Though you’ll probably be doing some end-of-summer pleasure seeking, don’t be surprised if complete happiness continues to allude you. Anxiety about something in your life lingers, but, like, hopefully you can ditch those feelings like a bad boyfriend as we change seasons. Here are your Labor Day Weekend horoscopes:


You’re seeking activities that make you feel productive this weekend. So, sure, sipping margs by the pool sounds appealing in theory. But you’ve got so much on your mind, sitting around on your ass doing nothing will actually bring you more anxiety. Ironic. Anyway, your best bet to keep you from psycho-texting your best friend, mom, and boyfriend all weekend is to stay active and moving. Plus, you get drunk faster if you’re moving while you’re drinking, right?


The Sun linked to the Moon in your sign sets you up perfectly to act exactly like your real self this weekend. If rocking just a bikini top and tiny jorts isn’t your thing, don’t feel pressured into doing it to fit into the group insta. I promise, wearing and doing what feels right to you will make you stand out from the crowd way more than having the same style as every fucking fashion blogger on the internet right now. You do you, boo.


Sure, it’s expected that you party all weekend to commemorate the end of summer. It’s a good thing you don’t mind being unconventional because you’d rather take it easy and relax at home than catch herpes in some Vegas day club swimming pool. You only need to recharge at the beginning of the weekend, though. By Sunday, you’ll change your tune and be ready to get out of the house. Typical Gemini. As always, you can enjoy the best of both worlds.


If you were planning on having a relaxing and leisurely Labor Day Weekend, you’re SOL. Your moving and shaking doesn’t stop even into next week. You’ll get phone calls, texts, and DMs from all kinds of people. Likewise, people will be demanding your attention in person. By Sunday, you’ll probably be begging for a break from being so popular. You probably won’t get it, so come up with a really good excuse as to why you’re still hungover on Tuesday morning.


You’re all about making the right connections this weekend. Unfortunately for the single betch, that connection might be more professional than personal. Like, maybe you match with a great guy on your chosen app only to find out it’s more of a match in the boardroom than in the bedroom. The good news is you guys can be friends with benefits even if the only benefit is access to more industry gossip and insider knowledge.


According to your weekend horoscope, you’re out to experience new things and learn more about who you are as a person. No, you don’t have to go on a yoga retreat or take some lame vow of silence in order to achieve self-realization. You can push yourself outside of your comfort zone by trying a new activity or connecting with a new friend. Go ahead and agree to be lawn-dart partners with that handsome stranger at the barbecue this weekend.


You have a lot to process emotionally this weekend. That’s not something to necessarily shy away from. You’re getting closure on something important and emotionally preparing to begin a new phase of your life — which includes less swimsuits and more boots and sweaters, probably. You don’t have to hide out from your friends to work through some of this sh*t. In fact, a good convo with your most trusted besties could do you a lot of good.


This weekend, a beneficial Sun-Moon aspect is getting you in touch with what you need from a partner emotionally and physically. Like, maybe your guy is the nicest, sweetest thing, but you just can’t get your lady boner up for him. Time to have a convo about what’s going wrong in the bedroom or just end it altogether. You deserve to have all your needs met, so if there’s a missing piece, stop wasting your time by Saturday, so you have half the long weekend to get over him and under someone else.


Patience is at an all time low this Labor Day. Whether you’re waiting for your friends to get their shit together so you can get out the door, or you’re over Jen talking about her amazing world travels on her dad’s dime, you can always just leave. I mean, like, they invented Uber for a reason. There’s no need to be held back by slow people or conversations that drag you down. This weekend, when you don’t like what’s going on around you, GTFO.


The Sun-Moon pushes you to get in touch with a higher form of love. Sure, you could have too much frozen sangria and end up crying about how you’ll never find your soulmate. You could also discover a passion that fills the deep, empty void in your heart so you don’t even really realize that you’re unhappy single or in an unfulfilling relationship. This kind of sounds depressing, but I swear you’ll come out on top with a love that’s not just superficial.


Connecting with someone one-on-one refreshes your soul. Even though you’ve got a lot to pack into this long weekend, it’s important that you take time to bond with someone close to you. Call your mom. Call your grandma. Call your college roommate in Peace Corps in Tonga. International charges be damned, you need to have conversations with people who share history with you. Reminiscing about the drunken trainwreck that was the summer will have you refreshed and ready for the fall.


Your Pisces intuition is a little bit off this weekend. It’s like you’re putting out a lot of bad vibes so that you can be right about a situation, ultimately making you unhappy. Tell your psyche to shut the f*ck up this weekend and let you live your life. You can always give yourself the “I told you so” lecture later on, so why not enjoy what you’re doing now. I think it was my mom or Gandhi or someone else really wise who said “on’t waste time worrying about sh*t that hasn’t happened yet.”

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