This Holiday Fan Theory Changes Everything You Thought You Knew About Santa's Reindeer

Go back through history and you’ll see countless examples of men taking credit for work that women did. Famously, homegirl Rosalind Franklin identified the structure of DNA and then notorious fuckbois Watson and Crick stole her research, presented it like it was their own, and won a Nobel Prize for it like four years after Franklin died. Well the bitch-assery continues and there’s been another outing of a group of dudes who’ve been taking credit for women’s work for years, centuries even. Their names are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. And Rudolph, too. Your heroes have betrayed you.

A brilliant girl with access to Google scientist tweeted this damning exposé out earlier in the week and stopped the whole “reindeers are hunky dudes” charade.

That’s right. Women reindeers are the ones hauling their asses around the world to give all the little kids presents. And women reindeers are the ones stopping at the White House and hopefully shitting on the roof. To think for years we’ve misgendered these hardworking women while their weak ass reindeer husbands are sitting at home in the North Pole moping over their fallen off antlers.

In fact, I think it’s only right we make a shrine to these long underappreciated women and I think the perfect thing to make it out of are the fallen off antlers of their lazy male counterparts. This Christmas when you leave cookies out for Santa, also leave our some jewelry or like Glossier bow brow he can bring back up to his reindeer. Sleigh, girls! 

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