Yeah, so this is probably shocking, but Ronnie from Jersey Shore might not be such a great guy. If you’ve been paying any attention, you’ll know that his girlfriend Jen Harley gave birth to their daughter in April (apparently, I have not been paying any attention), but now it looks like Ronnie and Jen are over. Moment of silence for a couple that exactly zero of us thought would make it. Grab yourself a drink and get comfortable, because there’s a lot going on in this messy tale of cheating and deleted Instagram stories.
Things blew up over the weekend, when Ronnie apparently got mad at Jen for keeping videos of her having sex with an ex-boyfriend. That’s pretty uncool of Jen, but Ronnie’s reaction didn’t exactly win him any moral superiority points. He took to my favorite journalistic medium (Instagram stories, duh) to sound off on Jen:
Note to self, can’t turn a natural born HOE, into a HOUSEWIFE, if you find them in the gutter then leave them in the gutter
Yeah, that’s a big ol’ yikes, and Jen responded with an equally classy Insta story herself:
Can’t turn a coke head into a father! Yeahhh buddy
Wow, I love these people. The stories got deleted, but not before the couple literally had a fight on Instagram Live. You guys, I could not make this shit up. Ronnie tried to grab the phone out of Jen’s hand while saying “YOU WANT THE FUCKING LIVE SHIT?” Start sending prayers for their daughter to have a normal childhood, and maybe we should set up a Go Fund Me for her therapy appointments.
In the days since this Instagram story fiasco, things have gotten even weirder between the couple. On Monday, posted a statement on his story, apologizing for all the drama he created. “I want to apologize to my family, friends and fans. This is a private matter that should have never been made public. I remain focused on my daughter and she is my number one priority.” Cute, but then an hour later he posted a quote about deleting unnecessary people from your life, tagging Pauly D for some unknown reason. What a difference an hour makes. A least now I know the exact time of day that Ronnie Magro likes to drink his RedBull.
Believe it or not, calling the MOTHER OF HIS CHILD “unnecessary” is not even close to the messiest part of this story. At the moment, Jen and Ronnie are still following each other on Instagram, but they’ve been responding to comments and it’s the sloppiest thing I’ve seen since some of my prime drunken college behavior. But with a kid involved, so things are considerably more bleak.
Tater tot kitty (and the subsequent tt kittymeow) is Jen, in case you weren’t sure about that. So yeah, like what the actual fuck is going on here? So many things! A lesbian sex? Getting fked anal?!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm. Really, my reaction to all of this is one big “hmmmmmmmmmm.” I have not had enough coffee today to deal with these assholes.
Guys, this might be controversial, but I think Ronnie might not be that smart (I mean, the man did hashtag “father,” if that’s any indication of his level of intelligence). But this makes no sense. Also, who are these girls commenting shit like this? If you care that much, you should probably realize that Ronnie’s not magically going to become a “mans man” (whatever that means) because of some rando’s Insta comment. Someone who knows Ronnie and Jen should really get them to deactivate their Insta accounts for a couple weeks and cool down, because this shit is just tragic at this point. Obviously I have no idea if all of the various allegations between the two are true, but either way the petty commenting is v bad.
So Ronnie and Jen are definitely not together at the moment, but it sounds like they might still be living together. Their fight over the weekend was reportedly kicked off when Ronnie told Jen she needed to move out, but other sources say that Jen kicked Ronnie out of his Las Vegas house two weeks ago, after seeing him cheating on the show. Tbh, I don’t give a fuck who gets the house, but these two morons should clearly not be living under the same roof right now. Again, their daughter clearly needs ALL the prayers, because oh my god this a mess. Somewhere in Jersey, Sammi Sweetheart is saying a quick prayer of thanks.
Images: MTV; Giphy; @realronniemagro / Instagram (2); @tt_kittymeow / Instagram