Forget about Tomato Girl Summer, or Rat Girl Summer, two surprisingly-not-fictitious seasonal aesthetics put forth in major magazines, because thanks to Jonah Hill, there’s a new summer archetype on the horizon: Wild Woman in Unstable Place Summer. Unlike Hot Girl Summer and Coastal Grandma Chic, and Sexy Pioneer Girl Who Doesn’t Know She’s Attractive Szn (okay, that one I made up), this particular ~lewk~ can only be bestowed upon you by your friend’s shitty boyfriend. But if you think this style might be the one for you, there are a few things you can do to achieve this piping hot trend.
First, have a personality and opinions. Men hate that! Second, have a past which possibly includes some unspecified alcohol. Maybe a premarital hookup or two. Finally, upload a picture of yourself in a bathing suit — any bathing suit, even a one-piece, will suffice. Violà: You are now a threat to at least one fragile man’s ego.
The only downsides of being certifiably Wild and Unstable is that this life comes with certain limitations. Boundaries, if you will. Remember that friend with the boyfriend you hate? Well, you can only see her if it’s for “getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful.” (You hear that? You can have avocado toast and iced coffee, but absolutely no mimosas allowed!) But the good news is that you get to erect some boundaries of your own.
Here’s a handy list to get you started on your self-care, mental health, healing-your-inner-child journey:
Wait — where are you going? So you’re just gonna leave me like that??!
