It’s official. After 33 seasons of pretending that only middle-class white men and women want love in this world, ABC has finally cast a black Bachelorette in 31-year-old attorney Rachel Lindsay. For any other show, this wouldn’t be a big deal. But this is the show that fucking brought us wholesome farmer Chris from the cornfields of Iowa. This is the show that catapulted lily-white Ben from Colorado into stardom—and even made him consider running for a Republican Congress seat. In other words, this has historically been a show that celebrates whiteness in all its diverse forms: white pilots, white ATO brothers from Michigan, white winery owners, etc.
Anyway, for Bachelor Nation, Rachel being the Bachelorette is a huge fucking deal. And probably a huge fucking slap in the face to the Trump supporters who watch.
To be fair, it’s not like The Bachelor and Bachelorette completely avoided people of color (technically). The producers dutifully sprinkled in one or two black contestants in the early seasons, and the country pretended to act shocked when they were booted within the first two episodes. That’s not some made up shit: legit, 59% of black Bachelorette and Bachelor contestants in the show’s history have been sent home in the first two weeks.
But then, ABC got handed a class action discrimination lawsuit by two black men who had auditioned, and suddenly there were more black contestants, and they were making it further into the show’s history than ever before. We’re sure those two events are completely unrelated.
Shade aside, let’s make one thing fucking clear: Rachel is the tits. And she’s way too good for Nick, so good on fucking her for transitioning from final four contestant to the next Bachelorette. That’s awesome. And we can’t wait to watch her pretend to find love before realizing it is nearly impossible to find lasting love on a fucking reality show.
The joke is on every other person who has watched this season of The Bachelor and not realized we were getting set up. ABC found its perfect contestant: She’s beautiful, smart, fun, and from a wealthy family. And apparently only at this point did ABC feel that it was finally time—after 15 years—to have a black Bachelorette. It’s definitely because the producers felt this so strongly, and not because they realized nobody GAF about Nick’s season, that they decided to announce it to the world before she’s even off of the show.
And even better? They asked her while she was still on the show. Rachel let it slip on Jimmy Fallon that “It wasn’t that long before I got off the show that I was approached. But I honestly thought they were doing it just to make me feel better from the heartbreak. And then, as it kept going, I actually realized they were serious about this thing.”
So way to go, ABC. I’m not going to propose anything as ridiculous as #BoycottTheBachelorette, because I’m sure the Trump supporters will take care of that for us. We’re obvi going to watch Rachel because she’s actually amazing. But don’t expect my congratulations for finally embracing diversity. It only took about 30 seasons too long.