Jack Dorsey starts his day with an hour-long meditation and an ice bath. Gwyneth Paltrow kicks things off with a tongue scrape. Kris Jenner jumps out of bed at 4:30 AM.
Batshit daily routines are what unites the world’s most powerful and successful figures, and we recently learned that England’s favorite (?) monarch King Charles is no different.
Check out his boyboss Notes App routine below, and follow along if you’re looking to supercharge your day full of irrelevance and underserved prestige.
A Routine Fit for King 👑🇬🇧💖
8:00 AM: Wake up my alarm, blasting Jay-Z’s “Run This Town.” 🎵⏰
8:10 AM: Eat 17 and a quarter soft-boiled eggs, prepared by my chef, Rosemary. Rank each egg on a scale of 1 to 5 yolks, so Rosemary knows how well she is doing her job. 🥚
8:45 AM: Time for my Blogilates workout. Make sure attendants are Blair Witching in the corners of the room so I can Burpee free from shame. 🤸🧙
9:05 AM: Shower 🍆with Camilla.
9:08 AM: Morning affirmations AKA scream in the mirror “I’M KING OF THE WOOOORLD,” like Leo in Titanic. 🚢👑
9:14 AM: Pull out my gratitude journal. Except most days, there’s nothing to be grateful for — my kids are pansies and the palace is always too cold. 📘
9:16 AM: Toss gratitude journal to the side and scroll on TikTok. 📱✨
10:15AM: Have a game of pickleball with Will. Berate him if he wins. Berate him if he loses. 🏓👿
11:30AM: Make minute adjustments to my model village. Ask Camilla if she likes the changes. Sulk when she can’t tell what’s different. 🏫
12:30 PM: Reject any and all lunch offers from my irritating staffers. Lunch is for the weak, and I am strong. 🏋️
12:35 PM: Sneak a Cadbury Egg when no one is looking. 🍫
12:45 PM: Outfit change! 👞👔
1:00 PM: Livestream my stroll through the palace gardens. 🌷🥕🧑🌾
2:00 PM: Think about donating to charity. Buy new cufflinks instead. 🤔
2:25 PM: Make Camilla listen to me play “Your Body Is A Wonderland” on the cello. 🎻
2:45 PM: Inadvertently fall asleep in a rocking chair with mouth open. 😴
5:00 PM: Early Bird special. 😋🍽️
7:00 PM: Keep my mind sharp as my gardening shears with Jeopardy!, but only on the nights Mayim is hosting. ❓
8:00 PM: Moisturize and gua sha. 🧼🫧
8:30 PM: Complete two-thirds of a crossword from the New York Times Mondays Only book. 🧩
9:00 PM: Listen to Judi Dench’s audiobook narration of The 48 Laws of Power as I prepare to slumber. 🎧
