To paraphrase the esteemed Big Sean, betches don’t give a fuck. When our bosses tell us to spend less time reading recaps of Vanderpump Rules, we politely agree and move on to scrolling through Jax Taylor’s Instagram. When our besties beg us not to post a photo (“my eyes are crossed and I have six chins!” they say, as if we care) we filter that shit and post away because we look hot AF. When the human equivalent of gas station nachos becomes POTUS, we spend all weekend blacking out and ignoring current events. TBH, we were going to do this anyway, but you see my point.
Every once in a while, though, a fuck or two sneaks in and we get a little jealous. Even Beyoncé does it though, so it’s okay.
But according to science, that little flicker of jealousy (which may or may not leave you six years deep into your boyfriend’s ex’s Facebook at 3am) might be responsible for the betchiest of pastimes: shopping beyond our means.
In a study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, scientists did a bunch of experiments which are way too boring to lay out here. The takeaway is that people who were made to feel jealous of their romantic partners were more likely to buy eye-catching shit like gold lamps and brightly colored coats later. Basically, it’s the same logic you use whenever you start dressing like you’re performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show whenever you catch someone standing too close to your SO (so like, within two feet).
Next time you’re whipping out your credit card for some coral lipstick you definitely don’t need, stop and consider whether you’re doing this because you actually want it, or because you’re being driven by the fires of a jealous rage. Then buy it anyway, because who gives a fuck?