The Definitive Ranking Of Ivanka Trump's Fake Moments

Sure, Ivanka is the hottest Trump, but she also looks like a barbie-robot brought to life by an IV of white wine spritzer. I would feel bad for reducing her to her looks but I just straight up don’t I don’t because she is literally the worst. Ivanka is faker than that knock-off Coach purse your cousin got you for secret santa, or that spray tan your aunt insists is “natural” in the dead of winter. Literally every time Ivanka opens her mouth, or in most cases, takes to Twitter, she has some fake shit to say about an issue she clearly doesn’t GAF about. We rounded up the top 5 fakest moments of Ivanka’s hopefully soon to be over career. We suggest you put on some sunglasses for this to avoid the glare of the cold, shiny, hard plastic you are about to witness.

The Oprah Tweet

We’ll start with the latest and greatest. Ivanka tweeted out some praise for Oprah after her Golden Globes speech, and even added a #TimesUp hashtag. Let’s unpack here. First of all, the second coming of Christ Oprah’s speech blatantly threw shade at Trump. Pretty sure it’s not part of your fake job to join in on shit-talking your boss, leave that to the actual decent humans, please and thank you. Second, this tweet came after a day of news reporting that Oprah may be running for prez in 2020. This is literally the best news we’ve ever heard, but Trump Daddy’s little girl should not be publicly supporting it. Lastly, it is LOL that Ivanka thinks she can use the #TimesUp hashtag while working for a literal alleged sexual assaulter. GTFO of here.

Literally Anytime She Talks About Women’s Issue

Wow, great segway by me. Pretending to care about the #TimesUp movement isn’t the first time Ivanka has spewed her fake feminism to get some RTs. Just to recap, Ivanka is one of Trump’s “advisors,” aka she has no real job and is just using the fact that her dad wants to fuck her in order to move up in the political world because apparently nepotism is low-key legal now. We would appreciate that kind of shadily strategic move if she wasn’t supporting a pussy-grabbing, less hot oompa loompa while pretending to be a feminist. She’s constantly going on about equal pay, maternity leave, and other feminist issues, and then – in classic Trump form – not doing shit about it. She literally works for an administration that wants to take away women’s reproductive rights. Until that changes, we got nothing but side eye for you, Ivanka.

The Tweet To Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

Okay, this one is just sloppy. Ivanka tweeted to the newly engaged royal couple in what can only be described as the most transparent beg for an invite since that time I kept liking my high school enemy’s Instagram posts in hopes that she would invite me to her open bar holiday party. Rumor has it the royal couple doesn’t want the Trumps at their wedding and clearly Ivanka is thirsty for a Save the Date. Maybe next time try something more subtle, like not being a garbage human who doesn’t deserve an invite in the first place.

The LGBTQ Tweet

Ivanka tweeted out some support to her supposed LGBTQ friends in June, and it came back to haunt her in July when her dad literally banned Transgender people from the military. Clearly Ivanka doesn’t really care about LGBTQ issues, she just wants support from the LGTBQ community. Sorry, honey, this isn’t a 90’s rom-com where the white girl gets to use her gay BFF as an accessory in a shopping montage. 

Wearing Her Company’s Clothing During Political Events

Again with the transparent dumbassery. Ivanka has been using her public platform to promote her fugly clothing line, and it’s a clear violation of the ethics program which states that you are not allowed to use your government position for private gain. And yet, here Ivanka is, publicly modeling some shit that even Nordstrom refuses to sell. It’s almost like she spends so much time surrounded by dumbasses that she has forgotten that not everyone is a legit idiot. We see you, girl. And honestly, you should try Sears.

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Irene Merrow
Irene Merrow
Irene makes jokes, understands politics, and has legit perfect eyebrows, all in a day’s work. Dumb bitch women really can have it all! This bio took her three days and five nightmares to write.