If AIM Were Still A Thing In 2023, These Would Be Our Away Messages

I think we have already had the peak of internet culture come and go. And it was AIM. From including all of our besties’ names in our status (and promptly removing them when they started messaging YOUR crush, screw you, Shannon!!!) to maximizing our use of emojis like they were hieroglyphics, we did it all.

But nothing compares to the away messages that we spent more time cultivating than actually being away from our computers. Sometimes, we’d only be gone for 20 minutes to walk the dog or take that chicken out of the freezer seconds before Mom got home, but the entire world needed to know about it. WHAT IF SOMEONE TRIES TO REACH ME DURING THIS TIME?!

It’s honestly a shame that we no longer use away messages because if we did, they’d be better than ever.

BRB Read My AIM Away Messages For The Deets 

OMG CHANNING IS ENGAGED BRB CRYIN </3 </3GATEkeep, GASlight, GIRLbossDnt message, Im hunting for Taylor Swift @ the Chief’s game - luv football!!!!

give me a {call} if you ever get {lonely} </3 </3 Time for meditation✌skin care✌journaling✌smoothie✌ice bath✌panic ✌ don’t interrupt my ASMR time!!!! K? xoxo BUSY thawing Mariah out of her iceblock xoxo Should i download tinder again? LMK watching TikToks, hit my cell Might go spinning, might go Starbies, c u l8r lol imagine if I went on love island?! JK I know im not pretty enough Is Peregrine Pearson hotter than Joe?? FYI still luv my BF!! it’s a bad idea, right DON’T MESSAGE UNLESS UR MY HUSBAND AGREEING TO NAME OUR BABY ROCKY Omg guyz, the Gen Z in my office told me I have no rizz :’’’( BUSY comparing the drums in “Blank Space” to “Blank Space (Taylor’s Version)” Should I sign mom up for the golden bachelor?? Lol wat do i tell dad??? TTYL got to do my weekly hate mail to Tom Sandoval grrrrrrr readin britt's memoir wow!!! F U JUSTIN!!! should I listen to Jojo Siwa’s new podcast?? LMAO wat if Abby is a guest? omg still hungover from friendsgiving, fml i h8 being 31 *~*~ now that we DON’T TALK :P :P ~*~* message me + i’ll rate u out of 10 for looks/personality/vibez LOL brb HOT GIRL WALK!!

Fleurine Tideman
Fleurine Tideman
Fleurine Tideman, a European-based copywriter. She’s interesting (cause she’s from Europe), speaks multiple languages (again, she's from Europe), and is mentally unhinged (despite socialized healthcare). You can find her European musings on Twitter @ByFleurine and her blog, Symptoms of Living, both of which are written to the sounds of unhinged Taylor Swift playlists.