As a secret hoe (I’m not that secret about it) I’m constantly pushing the limits of my employer’s sanity by seeing how much I can get away with in terms of the office dress code. Tbh they never should have called it business casual in the first place. Once you throw the word “casual” around that’s just asking me not to take it seriously. Like when a fuckboy tries to tell me he’s only into “casual dating” or when my mother tries to talk to me about my “casual drinking problem.” Please. And because my look is incredibly fashion forward a mix between lazy and slutty, I’m always trying to circumvent the dress code. For example, in the winter that includes me trying to get away with literally not wearing pants. I’ll show up to the office in leggings and an over-sized sweater/shirt/$5 Forever21 T-shirt that I’m trying to pass off as Yeezy and booties and just dare anyone to say shit about my outfit. And by dare I mean hide in my office and hope the girl I pissed off by eating her yogurt the other day doesn’t write a passive-aggressive email to HR. IT WAS ONE TIME, SUSAN.
But in the summer I sure as hell will be toeing that line between business and casual in a cute af crop top. Crop tops have been around for a while now and apparently the trend is sticking. Blessings. But unlike in college where you could literally wear a bra to the bar and call it couture—just me?—now, crop tops have become more chic and fashion forward. To which I would just like to say, are you listening to this, mother?? And because I support v important causes like making hoe fashion (thank you, Tyra), here are 5 crop tops for every office style that you should buy ASAP because you can absolutely probably get away with wearing this shit to your 9am department meeting.
Office Professional
You have, like, a normal 9-5 job that definitely enforces the “business casual” dress code no matter how many times you tell HR that you’re feeling personally victimized by this. In order to carry on with your hoe ways, you’ll def want to stick to a looser silhouette. Think longer, loose pants with a flowy, boxy top. The pants will elongate your legs while the crop top will keep you from looking like a bag lady an Olsen Twin. The key here is to make sure that your shirt is long enough so that nosey bitch Susan won’t report you for “inappropriate behavior.”
Boho Casual
You’re the type of person who doesn’t call wearing a crop top to work “pushing the boundaries,” but rather, “expressing yourself.” Odds are you work in advertising or some other creative field that encourages you to dress however the fuck you want. You get a bit more leeway than the rest of us, so go for a matching shirt/skirt combo in a funky print. It’s kind of like a trap a fashion optical illusion because while it kind of looks like you’re wearing a crop top it also kind of looks like you could just be wearing a dress.
Preppy & Girly
If this is your look then I’m assuming you do, in fact, work in a professional office setting but also you want to look cute. So I’m guessing your style icon is probs more Audrey Hepburn at a premiere than Bella Thorne getting felt up by Scott Disick on a yacht in Cannes. Just a guess. I suggest, pairing an over-sized skirt with a boxy, crop top for a chic yet office appropriate look. If you want to pretend like you have a personality mix it up a bit, try a bold color or print for the skirt.
Sporty Chic
I’m not going to make any sort of assumptions about what your job title is (shocking, I know). You could work at a gym or have some sort of fitness Instagram account or you could just be me work in a normal office setting where you show up looking like you don’t give a fuck. Either way, your secret weapon is going to be an over-sized bomber or jean jacket. If you’re trying to keep with your normal lazy af aesthetic, then throw one of those jackets over a black jean/crop top combo. It’s a classic, easy, and only slightly slutty look—three words I also def use to describe myself in my Bumble bio. If you’re trying to class it up because the new hire has a man-bun and you’re feeling like for once Mercury is not in retrograde and actively fucking with your dating life, then consider pairing the jacket over a knit crop top and matching pencil skirt. You’ll still look v edgy but also like you didn’t just find your outfit at the bottom of your laundry pile.
Wannabe Instagram Influencer
You’re def an assistant to an Anna Wintour wannabe who probs throws shoe samples at you when you forget to order her lunch with dressing on the side. Think Nina Garcia two seconds before she emotionally obliterates an amateur designer for not “editing” enough. The rules of business appropriate work attire do not apply to you because if you showed up in a basic blouse and a pencil skirt your boss would take one look at you and say this:
Do not be the Anne Hathaway of this scenario. DO NOT. You work in fashion (I assume) so take some chances for god’s sake (assuming your boss is cool with that. I realize I’m assuming a lot this article). That being said, don’t be afraid to try out a tighter, shorter crop top as long as you pair it with something high-waisted.
