We all know those people who are way too into their gyms. Someone you’re friends with on Facebook started doing CrossFit or some shit like that, and now it’s your entire newsfeed. Well take a seat, because Renee’s #TransformationTuesday pics or whatever don’t hold a fucking candle to this psycho couple that literally got MARRIED at a Planet Fitness. Yes, throwing up in your mouth is the appropriate reaction.
Joe and Stephanie are your average boring white couple, and it all started when they randomly met at…you guessed it, Planet Fitness! We’re usually trying our best not to get noticed, let alone hit on, at the gym, but I guess Stephanie knows something we don’t.
They also said “I love you” for the first time in the Planet Fitness parking lot, because nothing screams romance more than a bunch of minivans with free Planer Fitness bumper stickers.
Stephanie said she considered other wedding venues, but it just didn’t feel right not to do it at the gym. Brb, we need to go scream into a pillow for a few minutes. They also took their wedding photos at the gym, complete with the world’s most heinous photo of the entire wedding party posing on a line of ellipticals. We couldn’t make this shit up if we tried. People are the worst.
— Tiffany Revere (@tiffanyrevere) September 6, 2017
We have a lot of questions. Where did they put the DJ or band? Were people expected to dance in between the ellipticals and weight racks? How did they serve food? Like, my Planet Fitness (yes, I’m poor, persecute me) smells permanently of sweat and all the surfaces are mysteriously slippery—who would want to eat in that kind of environment? Aren’t there laws against that? I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!
So yeah, weddings have officially been canceled until further notice.