Remember when your boyfriend made you see Mad Max: Fury Road and you were like, “Okay that was horrifying but I might shave my head now?” Well, that movie is about to happen IRL in Cape Town, South Africa which will straight-up run out of water on April 12th, a day they are dramatically referring to as “Day Zero.” Day Zero used to be April 21st (presumably taking into account all the water stoners will consume to ease their dry-mouth on 4/20), but it was actually moved up by more than a week because they’re losing water more rapidly than anticipated.
So yeah, all those apocalypse memes you keep “jokingly” sharing with your friends are actually real and 100% more terrifying than Instagram would have you believe. Here’s everything you need to know to fuel your nightmares for the foreseeable future:
How TF Did This Happen?
Drought, basically. Cape Town is currently in the midst of its worst drought in over 100 years, and has less than 10% of its usable water left for the city’s 4 million residents. So yeah, the numbers are pretty bleak. Try to think about that the next time you take a 40 minute shower just so you can avoid talking to your roommate. Additionally, Cape Town low-key procrastinated dealing with this issue, causing water to run out much faster than if they’d paid attention to the early warning signs (Politicians – they’re bad at their job everywhere), plus Cape Town residents have been reluctant to curb their water use, with many using well above the 87 liters recommended per day. No shade to Capetonians tho. I’d like to think that I’d curb my Soda Stream usage in the event of an apocalyptic drought, but who knows? I fucking love seltzer.
And what caused this massive drought in the first place, you ask? Oh, nothing. Just the global phenomenon that is climate change, aka something our president literally does not believe exists because it snowed earlier this year. God help us all.
WTF Are They Doing About It?
As of right now, water is limited to 87 liters per day, but that’s going down to 50 liters per day on February 1st. For comparison, everyday things like showering take 15 liters per minute, the same as one toilet flush. Once “Day Zero” hits, the government will literally be turning off the taps in the city, and residents will have to go to “collection points” to get their ration of water. Then I guess we all just wait for that creepy guy with the mask who was obsessed with Charlize Theron to show up and start fucking with people.
Why TF Does This Matter?
Umm…wow okay, heartless bitch. Can’t believe you asked that, but I will answer. Cape Town will be the first major city in a developed country to run out of water, and like, if it can happen in Cape Town, it can happen
wherever the fuck your selfish ass lives in other major cities across the globe. Also, water is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty. Fucking duh.
What Can I Do To Help?
Umm….contact your representatives and tell them to give a fuck about climate change? Vote in the 2018 midterms? IDK. As of right now there is no official fund to donate to the Cape Town water crisis, but we’ll update this section when there is. Until then, stay woke, fam.
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