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Go Fuck Yourself! Billie Eilish Says It’s Good For You

I have always been a big advocate for touching yourself. Masturbation would solve so many world issues if people just took some time to rub one out here and there. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Billie Eilish recently told Rolling Stone that the way she decompresses is through sex and that masturbation has helped her a lot with her self-esteem. And if a nine-time Grammy award winner is using sex and masturbation to handle the stresses of daily life — what’s stopping you? Do you think you’re better than Billie Eilish??

The best thing about this is that if you’re not currently fucking anyone, that doesn’t mean that you’re stuck with stress with no way out. “Both masturbation and partnered sex can help reduce or alleviate stress,” Angie Rowntree, founder and filmmaker of ethical porn site, tells Betches. “Even though these are two very different experiences in practice, the physiological aspects of arousal and orgasm are the same.”

So whether you’re getting some (lucky you) or just going at it on your own, you’re actually doing yourself a favor by doing… basically anything sexy. 

“The process of sexual arousal releases endorphins – and during orgasm, your body releases Oxytocin (a ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter),” Angie says. “In a way, it’s very similar to the pay-off you feel after a good workout.” And thankfully, you don’t even have to pick up a dumbbell.

But if you’re someone who struggles to orgasm, or maybe just doesn’t orgasm every time they masturbate or have sex, you’re still leaning into some stress relief when you do either. Just by taking the time to allow yourself to feel pleasure, you’re helping your brain relax. 

Masturbation shouldn’t be about trying to get something out of it (even though, ironically, we’re trying to use it for stress relief). “The good news is, taking time for masturbation (even if you don’t reach the ‘finish line’) can actually help you to improve your libido over time – and if nothing else, you are learning more about what works best for your body,” Angie says. 

I’m sorry to tell you, though, that just throwing a vibrator at yourself or whatever else you may use to masturbate isn’t going to magically make you feel better or less stressed. Unfortunately, you also have to be mindful about it. I know, I hate thinking. 

Angie says that being mindful of your masturbation can get you more into it, and as a result, make you feel really, really good. But you have to put a little effort on your part. You know, light a candle, do a skincare routine, wear something sexy — anything you do to help yourself get into the mood is going to translate into some solo sex time that’ll ease your thoughts and calm your body. 

“Masturbation is a safe space to let your body and mind play – and let go,” Angie says. “And by the way, we mean ‘let go’ in the practical sense to put a boundary up during self-pleasure time. Lock your bedroom door, turn off your phone, and give yourself the gift of private time.”

And you don’t have to go at it alone. There are so many friends out there like vibrators and clit suckers to help you relieve stress if you need an extra hand. So, if anyone ever wonders why you masturbate so much, just tell them it’s for the sake of your mental health. 

Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad is a sex & dating writer at Betches despite not remembering the last time she was in a relationship. Just take her word for it.