This Isn’t Bryan From ‘The Bachelorette’s First Reality Dating Show

After some very impressive investigative work, it’s recently been uncovered that Bryan Abasolo from this season of The Bachelorette isn’t at his first rodeo when it comes to reality TV dating. 13 years ago—holy shit, yikes—Bryan appeared on a show called The Player, which you probably haven’t heard of since you were like five years old at the time. Bryan still looks pretty hot because men don’t age and life is unfair, but what does his stint on The Player mean for Rachel’s potential soul mate your Bachelorette bracket?

Well, first of all, The Player sounds like a show that I’d be v v into, according to this Wikipedia description. It features a bunch of self-described “players,” aka fuckboys of the early 2000s, competing against each other to go on dates with a model in South Beach. The whole thing reeks of sleazy douchebags, and naturally the catchphrase of the show is “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!” I can’t think of another sentence in the English language that will get a drink thrown in your face faster, and for that reason, I’m in.

Popcorn

Needless to say, Bryan’s days as a player may be a sign that he’s not the most genuine Bachelorette contestant, or that he at least went through an extremely questionable phase. He does seem to be a front-runner at this point given that he won the first impression rose and hasn’t started a weird sexually charged feud with another contestant yet, so we’ll have to wait and see what happens.
 

More importantly, what is it with people who continually return to the reality TV show circuit? Was one season of humiliation not enough? It’s like a bizarre version of Stockholm Syndrome and Nick Viall is the poster boy. Either that ABC legally owns them at this point, which I wouldn’t be surprised about. Just another issue we need a Kickstarter for, if you ask me.

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