Bachelor Nation’s youngest member is officially here! Bekah Martinez, aka the woman whose own mother reported her missing after she forgot to tell her she was going to smoke some weed, is now responsible for a fragile human life. Welcome to the world baby, we look forward to making fun of how drunk you are on Bachelor in Paradise 2042!
Bekah was induced coincidentally gave birth on Bachelor Monday!! Isn’t life crazy that way?! The baby was officially announced on papa Grayston Leonard’s Instagram, and E! Online followed up with a story that provided no additional details whatsoever. Who does she think she is with this suspense? A Kardashian? Here’s our first look at the little guy or gal:
This is baby is very cute, and I can’t wait to see what garbage hipster name Bekah and Grayston bestow upon this adorable newborn. Literally, I could not have made up a more millennial hipster couple name if I tried, so you know this kid is going to be named Laighlack (pronounced Lilac) or some sh*t.
As a refresher, Bekah competed on Arie’s season of The Bachelor, aggressively courting a man that was old enough to be her father and yet stupid enough to answer that “excitement” was what made him excited to be alive. We all thought she was a shoo-in for Paradise, but turns out that being knocked up puts a real damper on the binge drinking/sleeping with fellow fame whores/eating shellfish Paradise fun. Arie is now expecting his daughter with Lauren B to arrive fresh off the assembly line at the fembot factory sometime in June. I can’t wait for these two children to meet and be the first team of babies to get a flat tummy tea sponsorship. Yep, I said it!
And that’s all we know about this baby so far! I will forget about this child immediately wait with bated breath for more details. And now I can get back to my regularly scheduled Monday Bachelor programming: watching Heather pretend she’s never been kissed, and Colton pretend he’s interested in her.
Images: pipyopi/Instagram; Giphy