The beauty industry is one of my favorite ways to blow money I don’t have, but I am also super aware that it’s mostly a total scam. I mean, here I am, spending all this money to mattify my skin, then add highlight back to make it look dewy, making my eyes look bigger, cheeks redder, eyebrows sharper, etc. For what? Idk, guys, I think I’m just a total sucker. HOWEVER, there are a few products that even I don’t fall for. Okay, well, actually sometimes I buy them anyway even though I’m aware that they’re not necessary. What? I like to have options. But like, if you’re trying to cut some items from your beauty routine, there is some stuff that’s pretty much useless or replaceable. Here are the beauty products you don’t need.
1. Specialized Cream
Any body part specific cream, i.e. hand cream, foot cream, eye cream, is basically useless. Sorry. Look, sometimes the creams are thicker. Like, I would def break out if I used my foot cream on my face. But the point is that you could use any regular ol’ body lotion/moisturizer on all of these areas and achieve the same effect. I’ve seen creams for every body part imaginable: elbows, cuticles, breasts, etc, and it’s pretty much a total scam. If you get faster results from your ultra-thick hand cream, by all means keep it up, but just know you could do the same thing with that one giant bottle of cheap body lotion you never use.
So toner isn’t actually useless, but it is for most people. Toner’s job is to even out the pH levels of your skin, assuming you f*cked it up. Here’s the thing. If you wash your face, don’t use too many harsh products (like for acne or whatever), and moisturize, you probably don’t need toner at all. Some people like it to ensure they get all the sh*t off their face after washing, but tbh if you completely remove your makeup and wash your face thoroughly you can do without it.
3. Cellulite Products
Cellulite products don’t cure cellulite. Should I say it louder for the people in the back? CELLULITE PRODUCTS DO NOT CURE CELLULITE. Cellulite is a genetic formation of fat cells. The only ways to get rid of it are to lose fat cells so there is less that can be cellulite or get a laser treatment at your dermatologist. And realistically, for most women it doesn’t matter how thin you get, you will still have cellulite. Over-the-counter products usually just use a stimulant like caffeine to puff up the pockets in your cellulite so it looks smoother… until the product wears off. Unless you have a big event where you want to hide it, they don’t help long-term, so don’t bother applying every day thinking you’ll make a difference. Also? Just say f*ck it and have cellulite. Almost every woman does and we need to normalize our ~actual~ bodies, people.
By ChapStick, I literally mean ChapStick brand lip balm. ChapStick contains alcohol as one of its ingredients, which dries your lips out. It causes you to buy more ChapStick over time, which is f*cking evil. If you need a new lip balm, try something that has natural ingredients like Burt’s Bees, or Smith’s Rose Balm, which is literally just petrolatum and oils. Those will actually moisturize without screwing you over long-term.
5. Hair Anti-Aging
The fact that this is a thing is super funny to me, but I guess we have anti-aging for skin, so why not market it for hair too? Guys. Science lesson real quick. Your hair is already dead. It’s not aging. Yes, your hair texture/color/etc changes as you age, but there is nothing you can put on your hair to make it age less. Sorry.
6. Face Spray
I love facial sprays, especially that stupid rose one from Mario Badescu. However, these are meant to be refreshing and make you feel better about your life. They don’t really do much to help your skin. If you feel like your more hydrating or (like with the toner) they even out your pH, then by all means, spray away. But chances are you can keep a basic skin care routine without it and have the same results. The exception here is setting spray, which if you have a good one works amazingly well and is proof that the world is a good place.
Me with that f*cking rose spray:
Images: Giphy (2)