I’m going to try to write this whole thing without crying, which is a struggle for me in general. In case that didn’t give it away, I’m a “too much” girlie, my friends. As is Amaya Espinal — affectionately known as Amaya Papaya — a contestant on Season 7 of Love Island: USA.
Throughout the season, Amaya has received a lot of judgment from fellow contestants, especially the boys (I’ll call you men when you act like them), for being “too emotional.” As in, she tears up during tough conversations or awkward moments and openly shares her feelings. The horror!
During the July 1 episode, the Islanders played a brutal villa game called “Stand on Business,” where they read anonymous, handwritten notes from their housemates in front of the entire cast. Absolutely giving middle school sleepover trauma.
Austin Shepard, a former connection, wrote: “You cry more than needed. You try to move too fast for everyone.” (Sorry, but y’all are in a villa for a month and leave in full-blown relationships saying “I love you.” Who isn’t moving fast here?!)
And if that wasn’t enough, the other boys piled on. Ace, Austin, and Zak added that her passionate approach was “very strong,” and that she used pet names like “babe” too early — literally, I call my barista “babe.” Zak, her current match, chose this moment to air his grievances too, calling her “passionate” but overwhelming. K.
Only Bryan stood up for Amaya, explaining that in Hispanic households, using terms like “babe” and “mi vida” is completely normal. We stan Bryan for this, but the girlies were suspiciously quiet!!
It’s me, hi, I’m too much, it’s me
The last guy I dated asked about the book I was reading, and I gave a detailed explanation of how much it was affecting me (for the record, it was Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors, and I am the youngest of three girls!!!). His response? “Wow, you feel things… intensely, don’t you?” He later clarified it wasn’t meant to be an insult, but it hit a wound for me.
I’ve always been told I’m “too much,” with a heavy emphasis on the too: TOO sensitive, TOO dramatic (voted Biggest Drama Queen of 2015, y’all), TOO emotional, TOO loud, TOO needy, TOO happy, TOO sad, TOO TOO TOO MUCH.
Here’s the funny thing: at the start, men love a too-much girl. In the early stages, they adore your intensity, praise your big heart, and hype your personality. Then, suddenly, all the things they loved become the reason they pull away.
All three of those guys coupled up with Amaya and pulled away the moment she showed genuine interest.
She’s a “Sensitive Gangster”
Queen Amaya defended herself flawlessly, even with tears in her eyes. She called herself a “Sensitive Gangster” (please trademark it immediately), and said:
“Many people could view this as a weakness, but to me personally, after everything I’ve been through in my life, I view it as a strength. So if you guys view it like that, then guess what? I’m just not your cup of tea to be drinking, so don’t fucking drink it.”
@loveislandusa “Sometimes I’m not the book that someone should be reading and that’s okay.” 🥺 #LoveIslandUSA @Amaya🩰🍒💕🫧 ♬ original sound – Love Island USA
Say it louder. It is a fucking strength. It’s exhausting and terrifying to show your emotions so openly, to risk being mocked, rejected, or misunderstood — and Amaya is doing that on national TV.
Recent contestants of Love Island have been getting beef for their ‘intentions’ on the show — cough, PrettyLittleThing brand deal — and here is a woman clearly looking to be loved with so much love to offer in return. Do you have any idea how rare it is to find someone so passionate with love to give nowadays? I’ve been on the apps, babe — it’s bleak.
The guys may not see her, but viewers do. In the “Hate to Burst Your Bubble” challenge, she was voted “Most Trustworthy,” “Most Genuine,” and part of the couple that fans would most want to go on vacation with — literally, can Amaya and I play mermaids on a beach in Greece, plzzzz?
Social media is overflowing with support for Amaya. The too-much girls are riding hard for her. This is our girl. And this is who we want to win.
@parkerlouise3 I love her #loveisland #amayapapaya ♬ Enchanted – Taylor Swift
@craftysarah107 ILY Amaya papaya! 🥺💕 #loveisland #amayaloveisland #lovergirl ♬ original sound – lortugues
Take up [emotional] space
As women, we’re taught to shrink ourselves. Not just physically — although hey, toxic diet culture and “What I Eat in a Day” videos—but emotionally. Be quiet. Be easy. Be soft. Be agreeable. Be calm.
That’s why it is so fucking refreshing to watch someone like Amaya stand tall in her too muchness. She doesn’t shrink. She doesn’t apologize. She holds the space.
Notice how her emotional vulnerability was never criticized by the female contestants (though still waiting for one of them to say something in her defense). It’s the same dynamic I’ve seen in my life: the women around me celebrate my too-muchness. When I said I was considering toning myself down while dating because I was tired of scaring people off, every one of them shut it down fast. They urged me to stay true to myself and insisted that this is exactly what attracts them to me as a friend.
Why do women honor what men fear? Do our emotions threaten them? Does our muchness make them feel like they’re not enough?
View on Threads
I don’t have the answer. But I know we’ll find it through women like Amaya Espinal — women who refuse to file down their edges just to fit into a quieter mold. She’s for the girls who screamed “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” at the Eras Tour and know every word to the 10-minute version of “All Too Well.” For the ones who post a photo of their matcha because it made them smile, and stop mid-conversation to fawn over a cute dog on the street. The ones who cry during arguments, not to manipulate but because they hate letting someone down. The ones whose emotions come out like a never-ending train of thought — and who’ve learned that’s not something to apologize for.
Women who wait not for approval, but for people who can meet them exactly where they are. Just like Amaya, I will wait for someone who celebrates my muchness as much as my friends do. I will wait to be their cup of tea, to be the book they want to read, to be with someone who creates extra space so I can be even more.
Like Amaya said, “I’m a big, loving person, and other people view it as being too much for them. But I’m not going to change who I am for anybody.” Louder for the boys who will forever stay in the back of the room.
