We all know that feeling. When it’s 8am and you’re already late and probs gonna have to take the late train with every other psychopath commuter living in New York City and you realize it’s the end of the line for, like, every beauty product you own so you have to pull an Alicia Keys and tell everyone at work that your no makeup look is a political statement and not an act of karma for sleeping with that fuckboy last weekend? Oh, that was just my morning? K. But seriously, buying beauty products is the fucking worst. It’s time-consuming, emotionally draining, and if I have to see that sales lady at Sephora give me one more smug look at the checkout counter while I mentally calculate how much money I just spent, I will lose my goddamn mind. I did not sign up for this shit. But lucky for us that’s why drugstores were invented because someone somewhere realized that this betch literally needs someone to take her credit card away from her. Seriously. I cannot be trusted. So whether you’re a betch on a budget or just don’t want to give the check out lady at Sephora the satisfaction here are the 8 best drugstore beauty products that won’t have you breaking the bank.
1. CoverGirl Lashblast Mascara
Tyra Banks has been repping this product for the last 12 million seasons of America’s Next Top Model, which means it has the potential to make you look like a D-list model on a CW reality show, which is all I can really ask for in this life. #Blessings. Plus I trust any and all products endorsed by a woman who told me to “make hoe fashion.”
2. Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner
If you’re anything like me, then you know you’re nothing without your eyeliner. It’s the key element to my RBF game and also in discouraging people from asking me for directions on the subway. And while I want my eyeliner to look good I also want it to be easy enough for a toddler to use because tbh my tolerance for learning new things is really fucking low. Like, right down there with my standards for men (just trying to make you proud, mom!). So thank God for Revlon because this eyeliner is perfect for lazy betches like myself. Not only does it look good on every eye shape but it’s also long-lasting.
3. L’Oreal Paris Infallible Eye Shadow in Amber Rush
If you’re one of those who wakes up every morning and whispers to your reflection “WTF am I doing with eye makeup RN” then this eye shadow is about to become a staple in your morning makeup routine. It’s a soft, blendable eye shadow that leaves a major impact with minimal effort. Plus this rose gold shade is V popular right now and looks high-end AF even though it’s barely $10. And they say you can’t have it all.
4. NYX Cosmetics Soft Matte Lip Cream in Copenhagen
Supposedly it’s spring and my mother people are trying to tell me that it’s time to retire my dark vampy lip color in favor of lighter, more neutral shades; to which I’d just like to say:
As if this much pretty is designated to one fucking season. BYE. And there’s no lipstick I love more than Nyx Soft Matte Lip Cream. First of all, it costs less than a shot of (bottom shelf) vodka so you know that’s a fucking steal. And second of all, this shit could outlast an apocalypse. Seriously. It could outlast me getting drunk on my couch after work watching morons make love connections fuck up on Are You The One: Second Chances or me tossing back vodka sodas like my life depends on it at the free corporate happy hour. So blessed. So moved. So grateful. Can’t believe this is my life.
5. Jordana Glow N’ Go
Finding the perfect highlighter is like trying to find a boyfriend on a dating app, which is to say, good fucking luck. But unlike on a first date when someone thinks that asking you to “split the bill” will actually get them laid (see, girls? Prince Charming really is only one swipe away!), being cheap when buying a highlighter can actually pay off. At under $5, Jordana Glow N’ Go is creamy, long-lasting, and subtle enough to make people think maybe you’re born with it.
6. Neutrogena Hydro Boost Hydrating Concealer
Normally, I’m not crazy about concealer sticks but this is the creamiest, most-natural looking concealer I’ve used. It may or may not also be the only reason why people at work think I “stay home” and “act responsible” after 5pm because this shit is key to hiding hangovers from the attendance Nazis in HR. It’s the hydrating core that erases those four vodka sodas from the night before because no one, especially not that snitch Sharon, needs to know your fucking business.
7. L’Oreal Paris Hair Expert Extraordinary Clay Dry Shampoo
I’ve said it before, but dry shampoo save lives and L’Oreal Paris’ new clay dry shampoo is next fucking level. It uses clay to help absorb excess oil and is the reason I get up in the morning. Literally. It helps me to know that I can put off showering another day for a few extra minutes of sleep. It’s really the little things.
8. Essie Gel Couture Top Coat
Ugh. As if I needed one more reason to give Essie all my money, they just released a gel couture top coat and I am all about it. It gives your nails some extra shine while also extending the life of your at-home (probably shitty) manicure. But like, if you’re actually good at nails then this product is about to save you tons of money and from any awkward AF small talk with your nail technician.
