I have legit been waiting for this one!! As a fake Brit myself, I always couldn’t quite connect with the US version of Love is Blind — their teeth were just too nice. But this is it, and the first four episodes of Love is Blind: UK do not disappoint, as they are chockful of flirty banter, Peter Pan syndrome, British references like ‘Vicky Sponge’ and, of course, drama. Before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s take a moment to introduce the cast of season one Love Is Blind: UK version. Basically, what the regular Love is Blind would’ve looked like if Hamilton didn’t exist — we’d also be free of Lin Manuel Miranda.
Who are the hosts?
Introducing Emma and Matt Willis. They’re basically the British version of Nick and Vanessa Lachay, only way better. Emma is a former Big Brother presenter, and her hubby is a musician and co-founder of the band Busted. You might know them for their song “Year 3000,” only you have probably only heard the Jonas Brothers version. So far, we haven’t seen much of them, but I can’t wait to see if they commit the same social faux pas’ as our American wife and hubby.
The Love Is Blind UK season 1 contestants
Aaron, 33
A chicken restauranteur and literally, I don’t know anything else about this man. A quick Google revealed he owns Wing Kingz, which is actually a big deal!! For my Americanas, think of like KFC but less well-known and a drop more classy. But yeah, I guess the offer of free chicken didn’t hook much, as barely saw my dude.
Benaiah, 33
It took me like two whole episodes to finally be able to remember this dude’s name. He is so vague about his job, except to say that he travels a lot, but turns out he’s just a structural landscaper. He’s a total travel girlie (can anyone say “gap yah”?) and super into mindfulness. He’s been clicking hardcore with similar-minded Nichole, but will he be able to resist telling her what a dirtbag Sam is? Watch and find out…
Bobby, 33
What is a luxury shopping guide??? How do I get into this??? Anyway, aside from guiding luxury shopping, Bobby is a wannabe rapper, with the alter-ego Bobby J. Unfortunately, we get to see this side of him when he raps an engagement to (no spoilers!!!). Well, he calls it rapping, but it’s giving high school drama spoken word. He seems harmless, but men need to stop using music to express their feelings on reality TV shows.
Charlie, 34
A former soccer player turned gym manager, I’m guessing he talks about high school a lot when he’s drunk. According to the Netflix bio, he’s ALLEGEDLY been catfished a few times. I want to hear more about that and less about the gym.
Conor, 31
Why is his name missing the second ‘n’? Did he lose it on the way to the show? An Irish lad who couldn’t wait to steal the attention and my heart in the process. He’s the owner of a health food business, which he apparently opened in memory of his late mother. I was hoping to see more of him!!!
Freddie, 32
Immediately Freddie is telling us why he’s a catch, and look, I don’t disagree. It takes a hot man to make me overlook a job surrounded by dead people. He’s also funny, quipping that his love life has been dead for a while HAHAHAH-RIDEMESIR. But while I find it touching that he works as a funeral director to help people with their loved ones, I can’t overlook going to the gym twice a day. Nope, swipe right.
Jake, 32
Who???? He’s a civil engineer, which has always seemed like such a vague job to me. Are these people secretly spies for the government or so? He’s apparently “a bit of a melt,” idk he seems very much like the guy who angrily claims you don’t actually want a nice guy when you rightfully call him out for something shitty.
Joanes, 31
He’s a linguist, so I’m looking forward to seeing what else he can do with that tongue. Sorry, sorry, I’ll behave. Joanes is a salsa and language enthusiast, and I can relate to half of that as I love nacho chips. He is a resident service manager, and I hope never to learn more about his job. He claims to be an old-school romantic and specifies that “rocks are easily found, but you have to dig deep for that diamond” — ruh roh.
Jordan, 32
Given that Jordan is a fashion tech founder, I am shocked we didn’t get to see more of him! Does his job involve free clothes? As if so, contact me asap, and we can sit on other sides of a wall and chat shit. He claims to be a risk taker inside and outside the boardroom, and I hope this means he is into some kinky shit.
Ollie, 33
I’m sorry, but this is Fuckboy 101. Like this man could be in a textbook. He works in software sales (fuckboy), and hasn’t found what he’s looking for in “Instagram-hot girls” (fuckboy). I hope that I’m wrong for Demi’s sake, as they are giving such good vibes. Also, have people not learned from the Chelsea-Megan Fox drama? Never compare yourself to a celebrity!! Als, who is Craig David?
Richie, 30
The Netflix bio mentioned that “the pods might prove difficult for Richie, whose love language is first and foremost physical touch,” and they were right, as I don’t think I saw this man even once. He is a sports turf maintenance director…. So he looks after that fake grass shit at schools? Or like stadiums? If that involves free tickets to the Era’s Tour, I’ll hit it.
Ryan, 31
This Korean-born hunk is over six feet tall and mainly dates older women, apparently. He is a techno DJ and cellist, which leaves with me with so many questions, but most importantly: does what they say about bassists and fingering apply to the cello?? Asking for a friend.
Sam, 31
I do not have the space nor vocabulary to get into this man here truly. A product design manager, Sam is a self-professed “Peter Pan” (RUN!!!!). He has therapy sessions with Jasmine and overpowers every gal’s answers with his own stuff. When it comes to physical appearance, he shamelessly claims, “I like meat but…” Well, I’m a vegetarian, and I don’t like you. He also claims, “the sweet guy never wins,” well, you’ll never know either way!!! SCREAMING IN ANGER.
Steven, 37
Okay, it’s Steven, I can calm down again. Initially, I was a bit hesitant as he owns a CrossFit gym and seems a little too obsessed with his parents’ divorce from two decades ago. I also hate when people describe wanting a mini-me as if a kid is a Minion backpack. But Steven won me over along with another lucky lady. I’m a fan, yes I am.
Tom, 38
A self-proclaimed “Mummy’s boy,” that should tell you everything you need to know. He seems like a big career and travel boy, so def keep an eye on who is sliding into those DMs. The mustache works, so I will give him that. He doesn’t want a stay-at-home wife, apparently…
Catherine, 29
If I looked that good, best believe I wouldn’t be on a blind dating show. The woman has a six-pack, for goodness sake. But this dental nurse is a sweetheart it seems, as she opened up about the impact of being adopted, life on Jersey (a British island, not home to Snookie), and having the middle name Mary (literally every British woman has the middle name Mary or Jane).
Demi, 30
Not me vibing with a soccer girlie!! Who am I? Who is she? I love the vibes from this one and her banter with Ollie. She is a safeguarding and attendance manager, which means nothing to me but good for you!! Apparently, she gets friend zoned a lot, can’t relate as I don’t really make friends, but I’d love to hang out with her.
Ella, 27
Why was this cute not given more screen time?? She is a social worker who has used her experiences with bullying (the bullied, not bully) to help kiddos now. You can’t see, but I’m trying and failing to do the Gen Z heart symbol with my hands.
Elle, 27
Okay, I feel like these two were too similar, so they decided to show us neither of them. She describes herself to be a “total daddy’s girl,” which is a red flag, sorry babe. She’s a graphic designer who ignores red flags, which seems like a flaw in that line of work. But I will say that her in that red dress is making my bi brain explode, excuse me.
Jasmine, 29
Not Jasmine the mental health nurse giving out free therapy in the pods!!! Literally, she was too good to those baby men. I love any woman that gets accused of having a “resting bitch face.” Can’t relate though, as apparently I have a resting sad face. I feel like she is going to rightly read people to filth this season.
Lisa, 34
Is this Lala Kent’s British doppelganger? Or do they just have the same plastic surgeon stork? Lisa is a baby photographer from Edinburgh, and I bet she would’ve been a fucking laugh. She describes herself as an “all-in kind of girl,” and I get the vibe that she’d steal a traffic cone on a night out.
Maria, 30
Fuck the dating aspect, I want to spend two weeks with a makeup artist in those pods! Tell me how to properly contour my face, girlie. She calls herself a “giggly little girl,” which might just be my new Tinder bio, so thanks, Maria. I’m a lil concerned that she is specifically looking for an “alpha male,” so can someone keep an eye on her?
Natasha, 30
I’m gonna call her Tash because we’d obviously be besties. So this careers coordinator has a secret hustle coding? Like panties dropped immediately. Her last relationship ended during COVID, lol relatable, and she’s just looking for love that isn’t skin deep!!!
Nicole, 29
I want to love Nichole, and I do, but she is giving that woman who always falls out with female friends yet claims she isn’t the problem. I hope I’m wrong!!! She’s the Head of Brand and Marketing (aren’t we all?), and she’s navigating two love interests right now… let’s hope she picks the right one!!!!
Olivia, 28
Literally, if you asked for my type, I’d point to this photo with a shaking hand. She’s a creative project director, which sounds super artsy, but like it actually pays your bills (can’t relate). She lived in LA for a while before moving back to London, so Americans should keep an eye on her as she knows the joys of Target and in-n-out burgers.
Priya, 37
This photo is giving Millennial in so many ways and her job is procurement manager, which doesn’t help the matter. No hate though!!! I’m just saying she definitely had a Pinterest board of tattoo ideas, including a Harry Potter wand and the flying birds along a collarbone, before deciding to never get a tattoo because she finds them trashy.
Ria, 34
I am so glad she described herself as the “designated cool aunt” as I couldn’t sum it up better if I tried. Also love it, I love being the cool aunt to my sister’s pomsky, I’m the one who gets him pupacinos and a denim waistcoat for Christmas. Someone’s gotta do it!!! Ria is a commercial contracts manager, which is just words, but it sounds like it pays enough to fund the cool aunt duties.
Sabrina, 35
Cried within minutes of the first episode, which is so me-coded. I love my girl Sab (can I call you that?), and I just want good things for her. I believe this is gonna be the girlie to watch this season, mark my words. Also, I’d like to purchase her entire wardrobe immediately, and throw in the accent while you’re at it. Oh yeah, her job is director of marketing and communications, but she downplays it as “just marketing.”
Sharlotte, 35
People who have a twin fascinate me as you’re like two people out of one. Apparently, her twin sis moved out to live with a boyfriend, and hence Sharlotte had to find a man immediately. She’s a hustler in her job as a global communications director. Why does everyone have such vague job titles nowadays?
Shirley, 27
A doctor!! Thank you, Shirley, nice and simple, with a slutty costume available for Halloween. She was a former high school science teacher which gives me such Breaking Bad energy. Apparently, she enjoys “winning the hearts of emotionally unavailable men,” girlie get off LIB and get on BetterHelp.
