If you’ve ever paid attention to anything we’ve ever written, you know we fucking live for The Bachelor/Bachelorette, and this season is no different. Nick is a mega-douche. Corinne is a BSCB that is kinda the worst, but I also relate. Being a slut who sleeps all the time was kind of my M.O. in college tbh. But that’s beside the point. Anyway, every season of this shit show has a fuck ton of rumors going around and with a manwhore lead and certified psycho villain, this season’s conspiracy theories are fire. Here are our faves.
1. Corinne Is Totally Faking It And Is Like, Actually Really Normal And Boring
Okay. Every time there’s an insane person on this show, people who know them start saying that it’s not real and they’re getting paid extra to be weird or just want more air time and a stint on Bachelor In Paradise or something along those lines. Big shocker, Corinne’s mom is coming out saying she didn’t totally fuck up as a parent and accidentally create the tired monster that is Corinne, and she’s actually just a normal girl. My guess is she’s not totally lying, but sorry mom, your kid is a little nuts.
2. Nick And The Winner Have Already Broken Up
Again, this isn’t the first season we’ve heard of this, but it’s juicy this time because lately, The Bachelor has gotten its shit together and the couples are actually staying together. Sean and Catherine. Kaitlyn and
bae Shawn. Jordan and Jojo. Ben and Lauren. It’s a never-ending list. Riddle me fucking that. It’s probs because the mainstream way of dating these days is Tinder and Bumble, so like, reality TV is considered old-fashioned/less of a shit show.
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3. When One Of The Girls Gets Cut, She Tells Nick She Fucked One Of His Friends
Lol. Please be true. This was reported by Reality Steve, so I bet it is. Apparently in a few episodes, Nick sends one of the girls home and she freaks tf out and tells him she’s had sex with one of his friends. Like, while you were on the show? Or before? Idk. But I can’t fucking wait for this shit to unravel.
4. Nick Got A Contestant Pregnant & It’s Not The Winner
You’ve likely seen this on magazines when you were checking out at Whole Foods, so you know it’s getting a shout-out. This is just so unbelievably insane that I highly doubt it’s fact. The rumor mill says that Nick definitely sleeps with all three finalists and at least one other girl during his time on the show, and one of them gets pregnant and it’s not who he chooses in the end. Here’s hoping they keep this going long enough for shit to hit the fan on After The Final Rose.
5. Corinne Is A Child Living In An Adult’s Body
Ah, my personal fave. This isn’t an actual rumor, but a conspiracy theory no less. When I first saw this, I was like “wtf how stupid,” then I was like “hey at least it’s not about President Cheeto so I guess I’ll click.” So I started reading, and holy fuck this might actually be true. Evidence #1: The nanny thing. It totally sounds like Corinne is just a kid who has a nanny to cut her cucumbers, make her cheese pasta, and clean up after her. Evidence #2: Her helping her dad run a multimillion-dollar company sounds a lot like she participated in Bring Your Daughter To Work Day once and her dad let her pretend to be the boss. Evidence #3: All her sexual fantasies are things we dreamed up in middle school. Whipped cream? Straddling in a bouncy house? We thought that was sexy in sixth grade too. And finally…. This.