If you spent your winter with too much Netflix and not enough treadmill, you’re probably thinking it’s too late for your spring break bod. Like, maybe you procrastinated going to the gym too much and now you’re freaking out about the Cabo trip next week. Don’t worry, like we’ve learned in last-minute dress shopping, there’s always an overnight express delivery option, and fitness is no different. Sort of. Because we’re such a good friend, we’re going to tell you the secret to making your ass look like you didn’t say yes to the dressing. That secret is squats.
If you want to get an ass like Serena without the four kids (or whatever the lyric is), all you need to do is these simple squat exercises and you’ll literally see results in less than two weeks. Like, you could get a butt before your next period. Just do squats everyday until you get on that plane for spring break and you’ll give Jen Selter a run for her money. Without actually having to run, that is.
1. Classic Squats (25-50 Reps)
Stand with your legs in second position, slightly wider than shoulder width. If you don’t know what second position is, we’re sorry your parents didn’t love you enough as a child. Make sure your toes are pointing forward in line with your knees. Then with your arms out in front of you, sit into your squat until your butt is on the same level as your knees. Keep your back as upright as possible. Pretend like you’re sitting down into a chair or trying to take a shit in the woods or something—whatever helps you picture it. Feel free to put on a song about butts while you do this—we recommend “Anaconda” or “Bubble Butt” or the ever-classic “Dance (A$$).” You should feel it in your glutes, and your inner thighs will get a little sore too. If you start to feel the burn, you’ll know it’s working. Just like laying out in the sun. Which you’ll soon be doing when you show off your new butt at the beach. If you’re in a time crunch you can just do 100 of these classic squats a day and skip the rest or add some weights to step it tf up.
2. Moving Squats (25-50 Reps)
We know you like a challenge so you’ll get bored after doing the classic squat 50 times. Even the most rewarding long-term relationship needs the occasional thing to spice it up. So vary up your squats by moving while you do them. Take a step out to the right (or left, honestly whatever) and then go down into a squat. When you stand back up, step with your left over and back out with your right into the squat. Do this a few times, then go the other way. You’ll feel kind of like a crab walking when you do this, but that’s good because it will make you think of the ocean, which you don’t want to be at with a lame flat butt.
3. Jumping Squats (25 Reps)
At this point you’re probably 6% closer to a Kim K butt, but you’re not done yet. This time, plant yourself in the classic squat position. Instead of sitting and standing back up, you’ll jump when you stand back up from the squat. When you land, bend your knees and go straight back into the squat.
4. In And Out Jumping Squats (25 Reps)
At this point you’re almost done with the workout and probably have listened to “Bubble Butt” at least twice, but don’t worry, we’re almost done. This jumping squat is very much like the one we just did, but instead of jumping straight up and down, you’ll now jump in with your legs together when you stand up, much like those Russian nutcracker dolls that kick out when you pull a string on them. Jump in and jump out into a squat as many times as you want, but we suggest 25.
At the end of the day, your butt is a magical thing, because unlike most of the other stuff on your body, you can actually pretty easily work it out to make it better. #Blessings. You can’t exercise your way to bigger boobs (unfortunately), so focus on the squats and you’ll be spring break ready before the TSA can detain you at the airport for traveling with your friend Molly on Spring Break.