The Golden Globes are usually nothing more than a night of gorgeous billionaires getting together and giving themselves awards, and at least a few LOL moments for us when some stars show up in the ugliest effing skirt we’ve ever seen. I never thought I’d be saying this but, last night the Golden Globes were…important. This year the annaul event had a theme: the Time’s Up movement — an initiative to end sexual harassment and assault in the workplace, once and for all. Women took the lead by wearing all black in honor of Time’s Up, and men followed by wearing pins with the initiative’s logo. The theme came at a fitting time, because 2017 was at least the year people started listening to something women have literally always known: men ain’t shit.
There were a lot of really amazing moments when women vocalized their support to put an end to sexual abuse, misogyny and inequality, so we picked out our favs. Spoiler alert: Justin “Man of The Woods” Timberlake didn’t make the cut.
Debra Messing Calling Out E!
Debra Messing kicked off the night by criticizing E! while being interviewed by…E! Literally amazing. Messing pointed out that former E! host Catt Sadlier had left her position due to the fact that she received half the pay of her male co-host. Messing said, “We stand with her,” and then went on to talk about intersectional feminism and the importance of bringing diversity and equality into the workplace. Her powerful words set a precedent for the rest of the night, sending the message that the bullshit expiration date has passed. Tick tock, mother fuckers.
Tarana Burke Attending as Michelle Williams’ Date
Tarana Burke is the woman who started the #MeToo movement, but hasn’t received nearly enough credit for it because she is a black woman and this is America, where overlooking black women’s achievements is as trendy as white boots for winter. But last night we saw that trend get challenged when Tarana Burke was invited to the Golden Globes as Michelle Williams’ date. The Time’s Up movement couldn’t exist without women like Tarana Burke, and having her present at The Golden Globes sends a powerful message. *looks at watch impatiently and sips wine*
Barbra Streisand’s Drop-The-Mic Moment
Y’all know we weren’t going to get through this list without honoring the icon, the queen, the legend, Barbra Streisand. Queen Streisand was brought on stage as the only woman to ever win best director at the Golden Globes, and she was not having it. She pointed out that her win was in 1984, and that was *does math* idk, like a really long time ago. She followed up with, “Time’s up, folks,” name dropping the theme of the night. Yaaaaassss. Call *clap emoji* them *clap emoji* out *clap emoji* on *clap emoji* their *clap emoji* bullshit.
Natalie Portman Roasting The Best Director Nominees
TBH, I kind of forgot Natalie Portman existed, but last night she reminded me that she is very much alive and very much a fucking boss. Portman was in charge of presenting the award for best director alongside Ron Howard, and the announcement came at the end of a night that had spent so much time talking about women’s issues. Natalie wasted no time wading through the bullshit and took the mic to say, “And here are the all MALE nominees,” essentially telling Hollywood to sit the fuck down if they’re not actually going to try to bring equality to the industry. Get it, girl. Y’all can wear your cute lil’ pins, but if you continue to ignore women, Natalie Portman is gonna have some words for you.
The Golden Globes: We support women!!!
Natalie Portman:
OPRAH. EVERYTHING OPRAH.
We are not even worthy of the existence of Oprah herself, but we are eternally grateful. She was at the Globes last night to accept the Cecil B. DeMille award and remind us all what perfection looks like in human form. Her speech was everything and if you didn’t cry during it you are a straight up monster, or you just weren’t an entire bottle of wine deep like I was. I won’t waste your time trying to do the speech justice, so here are the last couple lines:
“So I want all the girls watching here, now, to know that a new day is on the horizon! And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say “Me too” again.”
Goodbye, I will be crying into my empty wine bottle until Oprah is president.
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