Sure, it’s the new year, and sure, according to society’s standards you should be giving up all that is good and holy things in this world (vodka sodas, white wine, emotionally abusing your friends and family), but unless you need actual professional help (watch an episode of Intervention and compare yourself with that if you’re unclear), I say fuck that standard. What you need to do instead is be proactive, not reactive. As in, plan ahead, so you can hide your alcohol problem like you’ve been doing all along, but just better. How you ask? With the following hangover beauty products.
1. Skyn Iceland’s Skin Hangover Kit, $25
A shit ton of travel size, beauty hangover cures that are perfect to stash in your purse on the way out the door. Toning mist, eye cream, a cooling moisturizer. There’s literally nothing else you’ll need the morning after, except for like, an Uber so you can GTFO.
2. Toxic Twins One Night Detox, $27
You apply these “sap sheets” to the soles of your feet at night (fucking weird, but never say never) , and apparently they get rid of toxins. No word on whether or not they extract hatred from your soul, but would be willing to start a Kickstarter for that product.
Unfortunately, this product doesn’t include LSD. It is definitely X-Treme though.
Seriously, tf happened????
Put it on right before bed (which should be a fun journey, post vodka) and wake up to a not puffy face.
A primer that’s said to hydrate, smooth, brighten, and erase all of last night’s mistakes. Godspeed!