If you’re on the messy side of TikTok, you’ve probably seen the “where my bridesmaids are now” trend. It’s where former brides essentially put their bridal party on blast. As if being a bridesmaid isn’t bad enough, now they’re getting doxed by their former friend for views on socials?! My biggest fear is seeing my face pop up in one of these, and I’ve never even been a bridesmaid!
@schmorgs__ Lost two bridesmaids but still got that same husband ♥️ 😂 #bridesmaid #weddingparty #weddingthenandnow #thenandnow ♬ sonido original – Sheyleen Rosa
This trend is either set to Megan Moroney’s “The Girls,” with lyrics about female friendships being “easy to keep and harder to find,” but according to these videos, it sounds like the friends you make your bridesmaids are easy to find (sometimes they’re your husband’s sister or your co-worker) and harder to keep. These videos are also set to Kylie Morgan’s “Bridesmaids,” and while the lyrics are about your “ride or dies,” this trend shows more of these friendships “dying” instead of riding. IMO this trend is just more proof you should consider having a smaller bridal party or ditch bridesmaids entirely.
You will have a falling out with at least one of your bridesmaids
I have yet to see this trend where the bride is still close with all of her bridesmaids. The bride is either “no longer on speaking terms” with at least one of their bridesmaids, or they “drifted apart” but “hope she’s doing well in life” (sure you do, Lisa…).
And while not all friendships can survive the bridesmaid test and last forever, your overpriced photos sure will! Like this bride’s Pinterest-perfect wedding in her big, lacey white dress and pearls as her five bridesmaids stood proudly behind her in their navy dresses and matching pearl necklaces. Today, this former bride only still speaks to one bridesmaid after her maid of honor had an affair with her now ex-husband?! Oh, the tea! But also, how is this possible…they were wearing pearls!
You’re committing your life to your spouse, not your besties
If former brides from over a decade ago are telling you they’re no longer friends with most of their bridal party, then why even have bridesmaids? Or if you’re going to have bridesmaids maybe this is your sign to be pickier about who’s by your side. Or perhaps don’t make your wedding party stand next to you at the ceremony. Have them walk with you down the aisle, and then let them take a seat. That way, even if you and Bridesmaid Becky fall out, she isn’t the background ruining your vows.
We know almost 50% of marriages end in divorce, so don’t increase the chances of having to destroy your overpriced wedding footage for the added risk you’ll want to crop or edit out one or more of your former friends/bridesmaids. Your vows are to your spouse, not your best friends for now.
Quality over quantity
If you’re going to have a bridal party, know that you don’t have to have a big wedding party because you want their dresses to collectively show off all the shades of blue to go with your bouquet. Or you feel like you need to have that one friend you’ve honestly grown apart from as payback — sorry — because you were their bridesmaid, and it’s only fair for them to be yours!
Your wedding, your rules, babe! I’ve heard of so many brides stressing about having a certain number of bridesmaids so their bridal party matches up evenly with their future husband’s fraternity of groomsmen. Stop that right now! It’s better to have one or two bridesmaids who you know will be in your life forever in these photos and who will last a lifetime instead of a gaggle of gals you will inevitably lose touch with. According to this trend, the few bridesmaids who stand the test of time are usually family members you don’t hate and or that friend who’s basically family.
There are low-key ways your friends can be part of your wedding
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need to have your friends in your bridal party to prove they are your friends. In fact, not making your besties spend all that money on a dress they’ll never wear again and making them get up at 5 AM for professional hair and make-up on the big day shows your girls how much you actually care about them.
Your friends can still be there for you as you go wedding dress shopping, celebrate your bachelorette (although a solorette sounds like the way to go), hang out with you when you’re getting ready for your wedding, help out at the ceremony, give a speech, etc. without the bridesmaid title. In fact, your true friends will want to do these things for you without you having to make it part of their “job” to be in your wedding party.
So let this “where are my bridesmaids now” trend be a warning. Save your wedding footage and your friendships by scaling down or ditching your bridal party. Your future self (and current friends) will thank you.
