Bachelorette parties seem to be getting out of hand. From theme outfits for every activity on the jam-packed itinerary to brides expecting their ten closest friends to have the time and budget to join them across the world for a week. So, it’s no surprise some brides end up being disappointed their big weekend didn’t live up to their vision. You know what they say: if you want something done right, do it yourself. Enter solorettes, the DIY of Bachelorette parties with an emphasis on the “Y” because it’s only you, babe.
What is a Solorette?
A “solorette,” or solo bachelorette trip is exactly what it sounds like: The bride goes on her Bachelorette by herself for some extra “me time.” This trend popped up during the pandemic and is still going strong.
Aja Dang-Puspos, one of the brides the New York Times spoke with about the trend, spent her 2022 Bachelorette trip totally by herself at a wellness retreat Civana Wellness Resort and Spa in Arizona. She was having a destination wedding, and didn’t want to put more financial stress on her friends (bless this angel). So, she decided to reconnect with who she is as a woman before becoming a wife. Aja let the retreat plan her solo Bach, during which she had daily activities like meditation walks, three massages, and two facials (okay, rich). She called this solo trip “one of the best experiences” of her life. I didn’t even know you could have two facials in one weekend!
Another bride, Prissy, shared on TikTok that she spent her solo Bachelorette in Palm Beach. She found it “so healing” to be in her own company and left her weekend feeling “at peace” and “recharged.” She opted for a solo Bach because she didn’t want her friends to feel any financial pressure nor did she want to partake in “binge drinking, partying, and mustering up the energy to live up to what society has made out to be.”
@prissymaaeI’ll always remember it 🤍 next stop: wedding!♬ original sound – 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗🇵🇱
Were Bachelorette parties always like this?
In short, no. Bachelorette parties are modeled after the centuries-old Bachelor party or Stag Night, which historically was a black-tie dinner given by the groom or his father shortly before the wedding. Just a dinner – not a weekend getaway. Strippers, dick decor, and drunken debauchery didn’t seem to pop up until the 1980s when Bachelorettes were thrown at homes or restaurants before becoming the group text-planned weekend trips to destinations like Austin, Charleston, Nashville, and Vegas that we see today.
In other words, it used to be a dinner that the bride would plan – and now it’s an expensive trip where all the bride’s closest friends jam-pack into an Airbnb to drink White Claws out of penis straws. Don’t brides and their friends deserve better?
Does anyone *actually* enjoy bachelorette parties?
Aside from spending time with our closest friends — who are often strangers or acquaintances to the guests — does anyone actually like what bachelorettes have become — as guests or brides? The traditions we have today, while only decades old, already feel so outdated and impersonal. Strippers seem so awkward to me, and to have them for the novelty just seems cruel.
Does anyone actually want to go to Charleston? What is even in Charleston?! And the decorations of the penis straws, cock confetti, pictures of your groom’s face, and merch not only add up, but shouldn’t we be spending our hard-earned money on literally anything else?
As a former Bride/ Bachelorette Survivor, I’m on Team Solorette
I’m so grateful my friends showed up for me at my nachelorette, which I insisted was only a night in a local hotel suite with a pool that I paid for. But if I’m being honest, looking back, the weekend — a month before my wedding — was stressful and draining. There was the planning, the outfits, making sure everyone would get along, and so many errands leading up to the party. As an introverted only child, after a night of partying, I felt like I needed another vacation to recharge. Which ended up just being what I now know as a “rot day.”
A lot of my close friends got married around the same time as me, and I know they felt similarly. Some even had panic attacks after their weekend (likely hangover-induced), stressing about how much they had to still do before their big day. One of my friends decided to stay an extra night at her wine country Bach by herself to get that solorette experience before even knowing what it was (Icon).
Weddings are stressful as they are, so why are we adding more stress by partaking in this somewhat new tradition? Why are bride tribes going to Nashville when brides can go literally anywhere else by themselves? Becoming a wife means becoming an “us” where all of your travel will be dependent on your spouse’s schedule with now two families to visit over the holidays.
Before being an “us,” don’t we deserve to focus on ourselves? However you spend your bachelorette, whether it’s with friends or solo, I hope you’re doing exactly what you want to do and not just blindly following what you think you need to do because of what you’ve seen in movies, social media, or what your friends have done. I love how solorettes capture what bachelorettes are really about — The bride. Do you, babe!
