paris hilton

So, Paris Hilton turned 38 on Feb. 17.

When I was growing up, my parents were pretty laissez-faire about raising my sisters and me.

Ever since your dad said to you, "Hey sweetie, maybe instead of leaving out milk and cookies for Santa and leave him Cheeto's and beer instead" and it suddenly dawned on you that the whole Santa thing doesn't add up, Christmas became less and less exciting.

Is there anything better than a celebrity family?

Celebrities...they really aren’t just like us. “Oh, I have perfect skin from drinking lots of water and wearing sunscreen.” Bullshit.

Ah, the infamous celebrity sex tape.

As someone who grew up in the 2000s at the height of celebrity socialite culture, Paris Hilton is basically my Jesus.