It’s been nearly 15 years since The Office premiered, which means we’ve been blessed with knowing about Mindy Kaling for a long time. Mindy was just 24 when the show started, and she instantly became a fan favorite as Kelly Kapoor, but her time on camera wasn’t even close to the whole story. She was also a writer, director, and producer on the show, continually breaking down barriers on a staff that was mostly white, male, and older than her. But breaking down barriers usually comes with doubters, and in her new profile in Elle, Mindy Kaling opens up about a time when she had to fight for the respect the deserved.
Kaling said that in the early years of The Office, the Television Academy tried to cut her from the list of producers on The Office, saying that there were too many names on the list. This would have ruled Kaling ineligible to win the Emmy award for Outstanding Comedy Series, which is obviously a major career achievement. But unsurprisingly, Mindy was the only producer who got cut! In order to overturn this decision, Mindy says that “they made me, not any of the other producers, fill out a whole form and write an essay about all my contributions as a writer and a producer. I had to get letters from all the other male, white producers saying that I had contributed, when my actual record stood for itself.”
Basically, the Emmys decided that there were too many names on the list, so who did they target? The only woman, the only person of color, and the youngest person. Convenient. Luckily, Mindy’s appeal was enough to persuade the Television Academy to include her, but she shouldn’t have had to do any of this sh*t in the first place.
Of course, this isn’t how the Television Academy sees it, and their statement to the Los Angeles Times in response is so typical. “No one person was singled out. There was an increasing concern years ago regarding the number of performers and writers seeking producer credits. At the time the Producers Guild worked with the Television Academy to correctly vet producer eligibility.” This is a lot of jargon that means nothing, because they’re not actually saying that Mindy didn’t have to do extra paperwork. Just because everyone was vetted in some way doesn’t mean that everyone was treated equally.
And, like me, Mindy Kaling was unimpressed with the statement from the Television Academy. She fired off a series of tweets further explaining herself, pretty much telling the Emmys to take several seats:
Respectfully, the Academy’s statement doesn’t make any sense. I *was* singled out. There were other Office writer-performer-producers who were NOT cut from the list. Just me. The most junior person, and woman of color. Easiest to dismiss. Just sayin’. https://t.co/frT2pQUfLF
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Yeah, the Television Academy can say whatever they want about the vetting process for producers, but it really means nothing if Mindy Kaling knows for a fact that other people in the same situation with The Office were treated differently. To claim that she wasn’t singled out is just false, even if you ignore the racist, sexist, and ageist connotations here. Which of course, you shouldn’t ignore, because the Television Academy probably was racist, sexist, and ageist.
I’ve never wanted to bring up that incident because The Office was one of the greatest creative experiences of my life, and who would want to have an adversarial relationship with the Academy, who has the ongoing power to enhance our careers with awards? (1)
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Mindy followed up the first tweet with a series of three messages, in which she elaborates on the pain that this situation caused, and why she’s waited so long to speak publicly about it. I’m especially glad she brought up the complicated relationships performers have with these academies, because whether they care or not, at the end of the day, awards can have a huge impact on careers. Of course, Mindy would be worried that if she fought back against the Television Academy, she could be blackballed from awards consideration in the future. Awards aren’t everything, but this certainly creates a tough dilemma for performers deciding whether they should speak out in situations like this.
(2) But I worked so hard and it was humiliating. I had written so many episodes, put in so much time in the editing room, just to have the Academy discard it because they couldn’t fathom I was capable of doing it all. Thankfully I was rescued by my friends, the other producers.
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Awards are one thing, but Mindy Kaling is also bringing attention to a more important issue: the constant struggle for women, and especially women of color, to be taken seriously in their careers. In her final tweet, Mindy clarifies that this happened over a decade ago, so “maybe it wouldn’t happen now.”
(3) The point is, we shouldn’t have be bailed out because of the kindness our more powerful white male colleagues. Not mentioning it seemed like glossing over my story. This was like ten years ago. Maybe it wouldn’t happen now. But it happened to me.
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Yes, there’s been progress in the last decade, but honestly, this could definitely still happen in 2019. According to the Center For Study Of Women In Television & Film, in the 2018-2019 TV season, the percentage of producers that were women hit a record-high 31%. Think about that. It’s a RECORD HIGH, and it was still less than a third. Sad, but not surprising.
I’m glad Mindy Kaling is speaking out now, but it’s important to remember that she’s at a point in her career where she’s calling the shots on major projects. For every super famous person like her, there are so many more people of color who have similar stories, but don’t feel like they have the platform or the power or the job security to share it. We’re definitely making progress, but there’s still a long way to go.
Images: mindykaling (4) / Twitter
The Emmys are to award shows what your cousin who you used to be close with in high school but now have nothing in common with is to your family. Now imagine that cousin is having a birthday party, and you have the Emmys. The Emmys happen much later in the year than all the other award shows, so by the time September rolls around you’ve all but blocked red carpets and drawn-out presentations out of your memory. And, they occur during Sunday football, no less. Even though there have been many good times in the past, you don’t exactly want to give up an afternoon that will segue into an evening of drinking for it? Not really.
This year’s Emmys lacked a host, a decision that proved to be wise for the Oscars but not so much for the Emmys. In place of a host, they had a few notable presenters that should have filled that role, like Bryan Cranston and Jimmy Kimmel. Thomas Lennon did give a bunch of deadpan voice-overs. He had one good joke about Felicity Huffman being in prison, (anyone remember when she won an Emmy in 2005? No? Neither does she), but other than that kind of fell flat. And that’s a quote you can repeat verbatim at your office water cooler, because I know you didn’t watch the Emmys last night! Here’s what else you missed, that you can also just say with a healthy degree of conviction to convince people you actually sat at home watching a three-hour-plus commercial for The Masked Singer.
Michelle Williams’ Speech
Instagram erupted almost immediately after Michelle Williams accepted her Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie, because she gave a speech that is going to be hailed by white feminists everywhere for the next seven years. Williams apparently was paid as much as Sam Rockwell for her part in Fosse/Verdon, which is great, even if the fact that a woman earning as much as her male co-star is considered commendable is pretty bleak. In her speech, Williams thanked FX and Fox 21 studios for paying her equally and listening to a number of her other demands, such as more dance lessons and a different wig. She closed her speech with this: “The next time a woman, and especially a woman of color—because she stands to make 52 cents on the dollar compared to her white, male counterpart—tells you what she needs in order to do her job, listen to her. Believe her, because one day she might stand in front of you and say thank you for allowing to succeed because of her workplace environment and not in spite of it.” I applaud Michelle for acknowledging her privilege and bringing to light the fact that the pay gap is even wider for women of color. That said, it’s sad that we have to sit here and publicly applaud studio execs for… *checks notes* … shelling out a few bucks for better costumes? Doing their jobs? I don’t know if you guys have heard about this, but apparently working in Hollywood is pretty sh*tty.
Natasha Lyonne Can’t Clap
Nicole Kidman can finally rest easy after this gif of Natasha Lyonne clapping surfaced on Twitter.
In case you need a refresher, here was what Nicole Kidman called applause at the Oscars:
Guys, WHAT?? Are people in Hollywood so unaccustomed to expressing joy or congratulations for other people that they never learned how to clap? It’s not hard, you guys! Your fingers need to touch, and you need to do it with enough force so that you actually make a sound and aren’t just touching your fingertips to each other like Mr. Burns.
The Emmys Spoiled ‘Game Of Thrones’
Game of Thrones won Outstanding Drama, but didn’t win nearly as many awards as people thought. (It still won 12, though, just to give you a picture of how entitled GoT fans are.) But people on Twitter were even more pissed when the Emmys farewell montage was broadcast, which apparently “spoiled” the last season of GoT. To be fair, it did show (SPOILER ALERT) clips like Arya killing the Night King, but need I remind you that this sh*t aired in MAY?? You get like, a week max to claim spoilers. I have no sympathy for anyone who is mad at the goddamn Emmys for “spoiling” a highly publicized final season that happened nearly six months ago. Like, you don’t get to procrastinate a paper and then get mad at your professor for failing you an entire semester after you were supposed to turn it in.
Jenny McCarthy Bombed On The Red (Purple) Carpet
As we discussed in our fashion recap, Jenny McCarthy showed up looking like a mess, and also acting like one. Someone gave her a red carpet hosting gig, someone who has probably since lost their job. At one point, Jenny talked to Christina Applegate about growing up watching her and wanting to be her. The funny thing about Christina is that she’s… one whole year older than Jenny McCarthy. Jenny asked Christina what it felt like to get nominated for her first lead actress nomination… when it was actually her third. She also asked Julia Louis Dreyfus to do the Elaine dance and she just said no and walked away. But not to worry, I’m sure Jenny has an essential oil to help her deal with the embarrassment!
Billy Porter Made History
In addition to another show-stopping outfit (Billy’s stylist can do no wrong at this point), Billy Porter made history when he became the first openly gay, black actor to win outstanding actor in a drama for his role in Pose. He quoted James Baldwin in his acceptance speech, saying, “It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.” In completely unrelated news, I am crying at my desk right now. He is now one award away from an EGOT—he’s just missing an Oscar. No biggie, that’s the easy one!
Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner Got Laughed At
While Khloé was at home live tweeting KUWTK (rough, maybe next year), Kim and Kendall presented at the Emmys for Outstanding Reality TV Series. Kendall said, “Our family knows first-hand how truly compelling television comes from real people, just being themselves, telling their stories, unfiltered and unscripted.” Everyone laughed. And while I think the irony is funny, I don’t think it’s completely fair to say that KUWTK is scripted. Sure, every move they make is heavily orchestrated by Kris Jenner. Is the show real? About as real as their faces. But can we honestly say it’s scripted when Kendall Jenner surely is incapable of reading, much less off a script?
Jharrel Jerome Paid Tribute To The Exonerated Central Park Five
Jharrel Jerome won Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series for his role in Netflix’s When They See Us, a miniseries directed by Ava DuVernay about the Central Park Five, five children who were pressured into falsely confessing for an assault they did not commit. At only 21 years old, Jerome is the youngest actor to win Lead Actor in a Limited Series (I was still perfecting my Jell-O shot recipe at age 21, but cool), and he’s the first Afro-Latino actor to be nominated for and win an acting category. He dedicated his award to the Exonerated Five, and it was one of the most moving moments of the night.
‘Fleabag’ Cleaned Up
In a pretty major upset (to Game of Thrones fans, can you tell I don’t watch??) Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Fleabag, the Amazon Original she wrote, directed, and starred in, won a bunch of awards. Waller-Bridge won for Outstanding Comedy Series and Lead Actress, so okay I guess I really need to get my roommate’s brother’s Amazon Prime password so I can finally watch it!
Other memorable moments included Patricia Arquette’s acceptance speech, which urged for Hollywood to employ trans people and paid tribute to her late sister, Alexis. The DJ was really weird and chose inappropriate music choices—Florence and the Machine was played twice, and Chernobyl’s win was accompanied by “Feelin’ Good” and “Shake it Off”. I don’t know, I feel like a nuclear accident is kind of hard to shake off. Alex Borstein, who won for her role in Marvelous Mrs. Maizel, gave a speech about her grandmother who survived the Holocaust and somehow managed to tie it into female empowerment. You love to see it.
Overall, the Emmys seemed a little lost without a host, and although we got some history-making wins, the awards were still overwhelmingly white. If you took away one thing from last night’s Emmys, it was probably that The Masked Singer airs Wednesday, October 2nd at 8pm, only on Fox!!
Images: Getty Images; Giphy
Last night was the Primetime Emmy Awards, aka the biggest night in TV. Therefore, I marked the occasion by not watching the show and just scrolling the #emmys hashtag on Instagram for all the red carpet looks. I have my priorities in order, and three hours of pretending the last season of Game of Thrones was good is not high on my list. Sorry, not sorry! If you want to know what actually happened during the show, here are the main things you need to know, but I’m just here to talk about the clothes.
Luckily, Instagram had everything I needed, and so we worked together to bring you the best and worst looks from the 2019 Emmys. There was a lot of pink and red, some questionable sleeve choices, and one really big hat, so let’s dive in.
Best: Mandy Moore
Of all the women who came dressed in various iterations of Taylor Swift’s pink and orange crop top/skirt set, Mandy looked the best. With her 1960s hair, she looked like a Lana Del Rey wet dream come to life. She has seriously never looked so good, and I haven’t stopped thinking about this look.
Worst: Kerry Washington
Kerry always looks beautiful because of who she is as a person, but her outfit was more “fun aunt at the bat mitzvah” than it was “Emmys.” This kind of looks like something Jane Fonda would wear, which is great, except for the fact that Jane Fonda is 81, and Kerry Washington is 42.
Best: Billy Porter
Billy Porter has made a habit of putting everyone to shame on the red carpet whenever he shows up, and tonight was no different. His hat is delightfully strange, and he kind of looks like Lil Nas X’s fun uncle. He won the Emmy for his work in Pose, and he definitely won the red carpet in the men’s department.
Worst: Jenny McCarthy
Jenny McCarthy missed the memo that Halloween is next month, or so I gather from her Elsa costume that she poorly accessorized with a 2000s Hot Topic studded belt and combat boots. She also looks like if the Fairy Godmother from Shrek went to Warped Tour. Okay, one more: Cinderella, but make it sea witch.
Good thing they already cast The Little Mermaid, because Halle Bailey would probably be out of a job if Disney had seen Zendaya in a green flowy corset gown and red hair. Nothing but respect for my Ariel.
Worst: Dascha Polanco
Now that Orange Is The New Black is over, it looks like Dascha is learning to swim! Idk who thought the water wings on the side of her dress were a good idea, but they need to be fired. And just when I was done complaining about the wings, I noticed that the tulle around the waist looks like it was just an extra scrap that they tied in the back. This dress brings the drama, but in the exact wrong way. Dascha, I want better for you!
Best: Kendall Jenner
I still have no idea why Kendall Jenner was at the Emmys, but she really served a whole look. With that black PVC shirt on under her gown, Kendall came dressed as an actual mannequin. Seriously, her body is insane. I love a dominatrix moment on the red carpet, and the floral gown over the long-sleeve top is the perfect couture balance.
Worst: Amy Adams
Morticia Addams, but make it ill-fitting and slutty. It did not work. I love Amy Adams so much, but this 1800s funeral nightgown just ain’t it. There’s also something weird going on with the collar—like, I can’t tell if it’s too stiff or not stiff enough. Idk, this whole look is just low-key a mess.
Best: Gwendoline Christie
She looked like a literal goddess, and I say literally in its real definition and not the way millennials say it, because she was dressed as an actual deity. Jesus Christ, ever heard of him?
Worst: Gwyneth Paltrow
While Gwen looked amazing, Gwyn uh…didn’t. In her original Instagram, she accidentally cropped our her face, but even that couldn’t save her from this tragic dress that looked like something I wore to my cousin’s Sweet 16 in 2004. Seriously, wtf are those sleeves? The dress would have been boring without them, but adding a giant frilly mess doesn’t really help the situation. Nice try, Gwyn!
Who did we miss? Did you secretly love Dascha Polanco’s swim class couture? Let me know in the comments, but please don’t roast me for putting Kendall in the best-dressed category. I know you hate her, and I really don’t care.
Images: Getty Images (11)
Hello all! Last night was “the biggest night in television” (no, not the Super Bowl), the 70th Annual Emmy Awards. It’s the night that Hollywood pats itself on the back for adapting books creating innovative and thought-provoking TV. So basically like the Dundies, but not at Chili’s and Steve Carell is only there sometimes. Lots of your favorite shows and people were nominated, even though I looked it up and unfortunately they couldn’t legally give all the awards to Law & Order: SVU. So here we are. Since I’m sure you all watched very attentively, I’ve broken this recap into sections instead of transcribing the entire blessed event. If you’d like a full transcript, I’m sure you can find it in Colin Jost’s sad, handwritten book entry from last night. Let’s do it.
The Hosts/The Opening
The show opens with Kate McKinnon and Kenan Thompson, and I’m immediately wondering if the hosting duties were passed off to them. Might be a better show! Instead of hosting, they naturally burst into a song called “We Solved It,” where they mock the fact that Hollywood is so proud of the limited strides they’ve made in diversity. They’re joined by people including Kristen Bell, Tituss Burgess, Sterling K. Brown, RuPaul, and Andy Samberg in the role of “sad straight white boy”.
I appreciate the song because it’s probably the most self-aware that Hollywood is going to get all night. Although, is the joke with Aidy Bryant pretending to harass Milo Ventimiglia a little awkward? Not saying I wouldn’t do it, but maybe not on TV? And considering the amount of actual sexual misconduct that goes on in Hollywood, perhaps it’s a little distasteful. Let’s ask Terry Crews!
The hosts finally come on stage and look visibly relieved that other people have killed 10 minutes for them. Only 2 hours and 50 minutes to go, guys! You’re doing amazing, sweeties! Hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost look very handsome in their tuxedos (those are tuxes, right? I know nothing about men’s suits so DON’T @ ME). I don’t know much about them in general since I’m usually already asleep out partying when SNL comes on. What I do know is that Scarlett Johansson has finally let Colin out of the friend zone, and that one time I saw my friend Jocelyn comment fire emojis on Michael Che’s Instagram, and she knows comedy.
The whole monologue is basically 70% Roseanne jokes and 30% calling out the diverse nominees. I have a feeling this diversity conversation is going to be the main theme of the show, at least until they start giving the awards to all the white people.
The best part of the monologue is clearly when the camera pans to Chrissy Teigen (Tie-gen), who visibly recoils. That will be good for about a week of memes.
The world is Chrissy, Chrissy is all of us.
I do appreciate that Michael and Colin finish up the monologue and jump right into announcing the awards. At this rate I can be asleep by 11pm, thank god.
So now let’s move on to who won the award show, literally and metaphorically.
The presenters/the audience. At first I was confused by the fact that the nominees were announced before the presenters even came out. I felt like I was taking crazy pills! But, as the show was wrapping up on time, I came to appreciate the fact that I didn’t have to listen to a C-list TV star stumble through Nikolaj Coster-Waldau’s name for 15 seconds. But yes, it did feel a little like I was having a stroke every time they did it.
Alex Borstein. BRAS ARE THE ENEMY! And she knows it. When Alex went up to accept her award for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, she proudly marched on stage without that straitjacket for the chest we all call an undergarment. Now, I’m not saying I wanted to see her nipples, but if her nipples wanted to see us, we should have let them. Another round of applause for Mrs. Ungermeyer from The Lizzie McGuire Movie having a f*cking Emmy.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Y’all, Amy Sherman-Palladino CLEANED UP last night. She won for Writing, Directing, and Outstanding Comedy Series, and she did it all while dressed as Britney Murphey’s character in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Hooray! I always want my Gilmore Girls crew to go on to great things! Plus, she said she’s going to put her Emmys in her panic room and now I know we need to be friends because I’m in the market for one of those. (Talk to me about conspiracy theories, fellas, I’m very stable.) She also called her husband the “Sid to my Nancy,” and her “consigliere” which makes me wonder if she was trying to send a subliminal message that her husband might kill her? Again, come to me for all your conspiracy theory needs.
Angela Bassett. Did you guys see Angela Bassett last night? She looked like a flawless angel who lives in an Instagram filter. She is SIXTY!! And damn it, she looks better than us all. She must have learned some tricks when she played a VooDoo priestess on American Horror Story, because there is clearly witchcraft at work here. Angela, if you’re reading this, drop your skin care regimen. But maybe take one look at Rachel Brosnahan’s name before announcing the winners? Just sayin’.
Leslie Jones. Leslie got to be a part of the best presenting duo with RuPaul, she was visibly shocked and delighted by the surprise proposal, and was SO vocal and supportive when Regina King won. I would watch an entire TV show that’s just Leslie Jones reacting to things. Tbh, that would probably be more entertaining than the Emmys. Isn’t that basically what SNL is nowadays?
Cute Couples. Um can we all take a minute to appreciate that Matthew Rhys’ accent ups his hotness factor by like, a lot? I’m obsessed. Plus, I love that he and Keri Russell are a couple and that she told him if he proposed she’ll “punch me clean in the mouth.”
Sandra Oh-My-God. Sandra may not have won her category (boo), but she brought her adorable parents to the ceremony with her. Her mom is a STAR, and when we saw her whispering to Sandra during Claire Foy’s speech I imagine she was saying “you’re still my person,” or maybe telling her she’s a big disappointment. Either way, her presence was appreciated.
Ted Danson. It is CRIMINAL that Ted is the only one who got nominated from The Good Place. I’m basically just using this space as my plea to all of you to watch that amazing, hilarious, and creative show and that we all collectively find a way to give D’Arcy Carden an award soon. Anyway, Ted’s still a winner in my book. Take me to the Bad Place, Ted! I’ll go there willingly with you.
The Maya Rudolph/ Fred Armisen bit. What WAS that? I feel like there were a lot of useless time wasters in this show, and this was definitely one of them. If you’re going to use Maya Rudolph, please do better, and DON’T dress her up as an American Girl Doll from the 1600s. Homegirl looked like Annabelle. Maya is a treasure and she should be treated as such.
Betty White. I mean, we all love Betty White, but once again I ask: what WAS that? I don’t think they gave her an award, unless I missed something? This was another time waster. When they were storyboarding the Emmys, did some drunk producer just say “This is where we’ll bring out Betty White and let her riff off script,” and everyone was too tired to argue? It’s the only thing that makes sense.
Will Ferrell. Another time waster! “Will, we have 10 more minutes on this telecast, and only two awards to give out. STALL!”
The announcers. Why didn’t they announce when winners were coming up on stage how many times the person had been nominated and how many times they had won? I like to know who is a first-timer and who is a greedy motherf*cker. Is that too much to ask?
The proposal! Leave it to the guy that directed The Oscars to know what will make a good show. Glenn Weiss got up there and shot his shot. Men, take notes. And whoever directed last night’s Emmys needs to be sending Glenn an edible arrangement or something today. And the kind with chocolate covered strawberries, not the cheap stuff.
Hannah Gadsby. In the 30 seconds or so that Hannah had to present, she hilariously summed up how women are feeling right now. Her take was pitch perfect. Michael & Colin WISH they were this funny. Netflix is about to see an absurd increase in Nanette viewings starting today.
Guys, is The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel really that good? I never watched it based on my mother’s poor review, but I’ve been noticing lately she only likes “good, clean fun,” so maybe I should be looking elsewhere for recommendations? Let me know what you all think if you watched!
All in all, the show was mercifully short and light on Justin Timberlake, which is really all I can ask for in an awards show. Thanks for reading!
Images: Giphy (5)
It always hurts my brain to watch an awards show and see celebrities dressed like sh*t. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how with access to the top designers in the world, you still look like garbage. And of course, last night’s 70th annual Emmy Awards was no exception. I get that fashion is subjective, but no one, I repeat NO ONE, can honestly tell me they liked Alexis Bledel’s butterfly dress from last night. Going to go ahead and kick off the worst dressed list with that one, giving that dress a hard thumbs down. Fortunately for my bleeding eyes and puzzled brain, there were a significant amount of other celebs who actually killed it on the red carpet. The biggest trends we saw last night were: white strapless dresses, ‘80s vibes, and bright neons. Now, I know this article is supposed to be about fashion, but I do need to address the elephant in the room—the atrocious ‘80s style makeup every star was wearing. The whole “matching your eye shadow to your dress” was a signature middle school dance look that I had hoped to never have to see again. Look, it was cool af when I wore aqua blue eyeliner that matched my Macy’s dress to my 8th grade semi, but it def wasn’t cute last night when all these grown women tried to do it. Anyway, now that I got that off my chest, let’s get into what you really came here for —the 2018 Emmys fashion.
Jessica Biel looked like a 7th heaven snaaackkkk last night in a stunning white strapless dress complete with hottie JT on her arm. Her textured white dress was breathtaking, and her effortless curls, fuschia lip, and perfect tan were legit everything I never knew I needed. Claps for you, Jessica.
Tracy Ellis Ross
Some may say it looked like Tracy Ellis Ross wore a hot pink duvet cover to the Emmys last night—but I’d say, she looked like she wore the damn comfiest, fluffiest, most glam duvet cover EVER to the Emmys last night. Tracy Ellis Ross killed in her big, plush, hot pink comforter dress, and I was here for it.
This dress was so beautiful and entrancing, it reminded me of staring at the stars on one of those classic grade school field trips to the planetarium. This dress was the Kira Kira app come to life. It was mesmerizing and made me feel an unexplainable sense of calm and relaxation, like when I watch those Instagram videos of people cutting cake perfectly. From the makeup to the hair to her jaw dropping dress, Angela Sarafyan stunned on the red carpet last night. I mean, I’m still a bit confused as to how the hell she got that huge dress into a seat, but I guess that’s her own problem.
The powder blue color of Issa Rae’s dress/jumpsuit situation is easily my fav color in the world. BUT, the color of the outfit alone wasn’t enough for me to put Issa Rae on the best dressed list (looking at you, Michelle Dockerey). The jumpsuit/gown hybrid looked legit perfect on Issa and was an ideal Emmys outfit. However, I will say, I was not down for the Claire’s earrings. But hey, ya can’t win them all (even if Insecure should have won all the Emmys).
I think I’ve legit moved Tiffany Haddish back and forth from “best” to “worst” dressed five times now. Ultimately, I’m going “best” because, for once, the comedy star got the hair and jewelry totally right. And, low-key, I was feeling the dress. Sure, she looked like a Skittle’s commerical, the rainbow road in Mario Kart, and even like that big rainbow parachute we all played with in grade school gym class…but she somehow still looked good. Although I’m still confused as to why she wore her best Charlotte Russe platforms to the Emmys, at the end of the day, when I couldn’t see the shoes, I was down for the look. Plus, the dress has some special meaning with her father or something, so I guess she gets some bonus points for that.
I already gave you a taste of my dislike of Alexis Bledel’s Emmys dress, but let me just start by saying homegirl looked like Ginny Weasley at the Yule Ball. Secondly, I don’t know what the obsession is in Hollywood with butterflies, but it’s childish. It actually looks like she has those fluttering butterfly hair clips that were popular in grade school taped to her dress. Plus, the yellow tulle is unnecessary and weird—this dress is something I might have worn to my bat mitzvah, or like I said, a Christmas ball for preteen wizards, but not to the Emmys as a full-grown adult. I feel like whoever designed this initially intended the girl who plays 13-year-old Kate on This Is Us to wear it.
I literally love Michelle Wolf, but holy sh*t. This is… wow. This dress looks like something you would have bought on the clearance rack at the now-defunct store Deb. Niche joke, perhaps, but I’m not wrong. And what’s with the two weird devil horn hook things? I just want to know who did my girl Michelle dirty like this by putting her in this dress.
I hope I’m the first to say it: Samantha Bee looks like Jafar. Like, truly, how could such a smart women have chosen to show up in such a horrible outfit? What’s with the weird gold trip that only goes halfway around her collar and then stops inexplicably on her waist? And the belt?? Iago really should have told her that it was a bad move to match the step-and-repeat.
As soon as I saw Tina Fey last night I immediately had flashbacks to Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30 doing the Michael Jackson “Thriller.” And, as much as I loved that scene in the movie, I certainly did not love Tina’s recreation of the look. The belt on the dress was highly unnecessary, and the hair made her look legit insane. Also whatever that embellishment is along her neckline is very Hot Topic. To harp on the hairstyle one more time, Tina is wearing the exact same bun as I am right now, except that I’m hungover at work in athleisure because my friends convinced me to drink on a Monday night.
Another woman I love that I am forced to roast because of bad fashion choices. Connie, girl, I know you played an amazing mom in Friday Night Lights, but that doesn’t mean you have to show up looking like a mom at the Emmys. This just not an Emmy’s dress. Shorten it a bit and pop a glass of rosé in her hand and it’s a great single-moms-have-a-Hamptons-weekend dress, but for Hollywood’s biggest night, it’s a no. Also, to borrow a phrase from Katy Perry, that dress needed another fitting.
Uhm, yikesss. I’d like to start by mentioning that my dad was actually watching the pre-show with me and, although he’s no Marc Jacobs, even he said this look was awful. This dress looks like something she had just blindly picked up from the clearance rack at Wet Seal. It was a strange cross between an altar boy costume and a Miami housewife’s summer look.
Final thoughts, shoutout to my girl Miss Ungermeyer for taking home an Emmy last night! You were clearly robbed of an Oscar for your captivating role in The Lizzie McGuire Movie, so I’m glad you at least scored yourself an Emmy, you sneaky brown-noser, you! Additional shout-out to the girl who got f*cking engaged on stage at the Emmys last night. You know that lady is PUMPED to tell that story at brunch tomorrow. No matter how many texts back any other girl at the table got, we all know the girl who got engaged on stage clearly wins brunch. Good for you, sis.
Images: Getty Images
This year was the 69th Primetime Emmy Awards and if you think I’m not going to take this opportunity to LOL like a 13-year-old boy at the number 69 and talk shit about the red carpet looks, you probably stumbled upon this website by mistake. Everyone knows that actually watching the Emmys is kind of pointless, because we’re all just going to root for the one show we’ve actually watched (why isn’t there a Housewives category? So rude) and then be disappointed when some more serious, adult-y show wins instead. Anyway, let’s rip some outfits apart—and, I guess, give credit to the ones that weren’s heinous.
The only possible explanation for this dress is that Mandy wants people to make memes of her. Which like, I get, because normally she’s perfect and there’d be no reason to turn her into a meme. I’m sure there are going to be some diehard fashion betches who will try to defend this Carolina Herrera gown, but there’s nothing you could tell me that will see this dress as anything but a lampshade.
Samantha Bee actually looks pretty fantastic, but my brain accidentally made the connection that this dress looks like it’s straight out of Princess Fiona’s closet and now that’s all I can think about so… sorry, I guess.
You know that picture you’ve had saved on your Halloween Pinterest board since 2014 of that girl dressed like a piñata that you thought was totally doable and creative? But like, you never actually tried to make the costume because you’re too lazy to do anything besides throw on some cat ears and a bodycon dress? Well, this Christian Dior gown is that costume. Generally speaking, if I can hear a dress just by looking at a photo of it, it’s a no from me.
Sarah Hyland is totally that betch who runs to Starbucks the second Pumpkin Spice Lattes are released just for the Instagram. Like, we get it. Fall is awesome. No need to rock a dress that looks like it was made from the same material that every kindergarten teacher uses for their back to school bulletin boards. Her abs look dope though. PM me your workout.
I’m confused. I think this is the same dress my mom wore to my bat mitzvah? I think I see a gown that I could potentially be super into, but it’s underneath a fugly cape so I’m not totally sure.
Evan Rachel Wood
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good pantsuit as much as the next girl. But I feel like Evan Rachel Wood’s Jeremy Scott ensemble was going for “Hillary Clinton at the third presidential debate” but ended up at “cater waiter”. Like yes, I would love a bacon-wrapped scallop, thank you, but that’s not the point.
Millie Bobby Brown
If there’s one person who hit the Emmys red carpet that can do no wrong, it’s Millie Bobby Brown. I know that she’s only 13, but she’s already basically a fashion icon. Like, when nobody else has their shit together, MBB rolls up in the cutest Calvin Klein dress of all time and puts the world to shame. She might not have won to break the record for youngest Emmy winner ever, but she’s prob the youngest HBIC I’ve ever seen.
If there are two things I feel the most “eh” about in this world, it’s green dresses and Shailene Woodley. Except, for some reason, I’m loving Shailene Woodley in this green dress. I’m not sure if I’m so into this look because I actually like it, or if it has something to do with homegirl literally showing up to the Primetime Emmys in a messy ponytail and being like “yeah I don’t even own a TV.” Giving zero fucks looks good on you, Woodley.
It’s nearly impossible to wear Balmain without looking like a Kardashian/Jenner wannabe, but Priyanka looks so amazing in this gown that I momentarily forgot that the Kardashians even exist. It’s almost like I feel as though I shouldn’t compliment anyone else’s look because obviously it’s not as perfect as Priyanka’s.
I’m still really salty that Jessica Lange isn’t on this season of American Horror Story, so I’m going to throw her on this list to give her a little face time. Jessica Lange is one of those people who makes you feel stupid for complaining about how bad your hangovers are at age 25, because she’s literally the same age as your grandmother and still slays in Gucci whenever she feels like it. But like, not sure what’s going on with that stray arm, though—she’s just like, dangling it out there in almost all of her pictures. Google it if you don’t believe me. Jessica, pls advise.