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Kris Jenner's Official Pitch Deck For The Kardashians' Future Doll Collabs

The KarJenner family is looking for a new industry to dominate. The now-successful reality shows, makeup brands, skincare lines, and apparel companies are not enough for full-time momager Kris Jenner. She had to go ahead and concoct another how-I-can-exploit-my-daughters business idea. Introducing The Bratz x Kylie collab, a partnership designed to enact angry tweets, think piece TikToks, and possible Bratz boycotts. But hey, all publicity is good publicity. Or at least that’s what it says in Kris Jenner’s PR Guide for Dummies.

The matriarch must be doing something right ‘cause the launch got a lot of buzz online. And the girlies are just eating Ms. Jenner up on Twitter. We haven’t seen this much Kylie Jenner slander since she started dating everyone’s favorite white boy, Timothée Chalamet. So, to no one’s surprise, Kris, the opportunist that she is, has decided to launch a full-scale licensing deal with Mattel and MGA Entertainment for each of her children (even Rob!).

I had to call in a few favors, but Betches somehow scored Kris Jenner’s exclusive pitch deck for the upcoming collabs. Here’s a quick look at Operation: Keep The Kardashians Relevant coming to your stores next summer.

Full disclaimer: This is a parody, though I am praying that Kris makes these collabs come true. 

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Mel Curry
Mel Curry is a pop culture writer who spends way too much time watching Love Island and drinking caffeine. You can catch her strolling down the streets of New York looking for her next adventure—or, err gig. Her work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Women's Health, and ya daddy's dms. Follow her on IG @melaniercurry