There comes a time in any situationship when one of the two parties does something kind and intimate for the other, which inevitably sends the receiving party into a frenzied spiral. Now, this isn’t a huge romantic gesture — so we’re not talking boom boxes outside of windows or running through an airport. No, those are typically reserved for those with enough self respect to not be in a situationship. I’m talking something so subtle and minute that it leaves the person overanalyzing the fuck out of the interaction — “Is this a sign that this person wants more than sex… or am I so starved for affection that I’m confusing basic human decency with romance?” And we saw this happen in everyone’s favorite gay hockey romance: Heated Rivalry.
For those who have been denying themselves the sweet pleasure of watching two very chiseled athletes go at it over the span of basically a decade, Heated Rivalry is the must-watch romance everyone is clamoring over. Professional hockey players Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are enemies on the ice and hot hookup buddies off of it. And while you can tell the two have feelings for each other that run deeper than their secret hotel trysts, Ilya is a lot better at hiding it than Shane. Shane — who admits that this is his first time hooking up with a man — is a puppydog yearner through and through. You can see the anguish in his eyes whenever he has to leave Ilya and how he hangs on his every word. Ilya, on the other hand, burdened by his familial responsibilities and the pressure to always win, has a colder exterior.
But that all changes in the tuna melt scene.
Following a montage of their secret flirting and hookups for a few years, in episode 4 of Heated Rivalry, Shane meets up with Ilya at his Boston home. Immediately, the vibes are different than they’ve been in the past. Whereas previously Ilya wouldn’t even bother to walk Shane out after a hookup, this time he uncharacteristically asks him to stay post-sex. And after a very cuddled-up nap, Ilya announces that he’s hungry. He asks Shane if he likes tuna melt to which the poor little angel baby incredulously asks, “You want to make me a tuna melt?” Ilya responds, “I was gonna make one for me. I can make two.” He then proceeds to ask Shane if his Ginger Ale is cold enough. And if you’ve been paying attention up until this point, you swoon.
So what’s the big deal with Ilya throwing together a tuna melt for Shane?
What may seem like Ilya just being hospitable is a muddled sign to Shane that there may be feelings brewing beneath the surface. Ilya is not a “homey” guy, and so for him to ask Shane to stay and then proceed to make him a meal feels like an indication that there’s more to their relationship than he thought. And the Ginger Ale!! We learn through Shane’s outings and dinners with his teammate that he almost exclusively drinks Ginger Ale — a detail Ilya must’ve paid attention to.
If you felt yourself experiencing painful deja vu during this scene — you’re not alone. As someone who is unfortunately absolutely no stranger to situationships, we’ve all experienced a “tuna melt” moment. For me, it was a salmon dinner paired with roasted potatoes and a balsamic glazed salad that had me in a panic. They don’t say “the way to the heart is through the stomach” for no reason. And so when my (also chiseled) situationship wanted to personally feed me the first bite with a fork, I almost passed out from mental dissection. Coincidentally, we also hooked up on the couch post-meal.
Making someone a meal or paying attention to their soda of choice are all cases of caring. And when these instances occur in the context of a situationship, they can become a serious moment of introspection. While this moment eventually leads to the breaking of Ilya and Shane (at least just for now, I hope), it means something different for everyone else. Now, I can’t tell you whether your situationship making you a grilled cheese is a sign he’s in love with you or not, I can say this: it’s not enough.
Before the tuna melt, Ilya is careless with Shane. He sporadically texts him and then pulls away, shows affection and then stops, and even tells him to leave him alone. To Shane, the tuna melt is just another confusing act in a series of hot-and-cold behavior. And because he’s also dealing with the internal battle with his sexuality, this novel instance of tenderness is too much for him to handle. And we’ve all been there.
Sure, it is comforting to imagine that a meal or soda or even flowers are an indication of underlying love — but don’t enough “Signs that he actually likes you” articles and TikTok videos exist? Situationships leave us in emotional distress, ruminating over every kindness our “partners” show us, because the chasm between what we’re feeling and what we’re saying is so huge.
And while the “tuna melt” and all of its potential may turn us head over heels, it is nothing but a manifestation of hope. And unless you’re willing to tell your situationship about your feelings and demand more, hope is all it is. You can’t build a relationship on just a tuna melt alone.
