We’re 15 days into 2020, and is it just me, or has it felt like five years? I have aged so much over the past two weeks that I might need botox and to start dyeing my roots. (I mean, I’ve been doing that for years anyway, but still.) We’ve already had a sh*tshow of a news cycle this year, and it looks like there’s plenty of ugliness coming our way in the fashion department too. If you hated tiny sunglasses and biker shorts, just wait until you see what the weirdos tastemakers have come up with for this year. Start mentally preparing yourself now, because before you know it these ugly 2020 fashion trends will be on every Kardashian lookalike you see on Instagram.
1. The Single Earring Trend
SVNR Nassau Single Earring, $150
All trends are innately try-hard, but this trend, in particular, is very try-hard. It’s the kind of trend that only someone who would also say “it’s called fashion, look it up” would wear. This trend has been lurking among fashion people for a few years now, but according to Vogue, the trend for single earrings is still around for 2020. Not only do I despise the way this trend looks, it’s financially irresponsible. The fact that individual earrings are even being sold to accommodate this trend hurts my brain. And it hurts my brain that much more to think that people would actually buy one single earring. Stop this before it gets out of hand!
2. Dramatic Puffy Sleeves
Baum und Pferdgarten Chiffon Puff Sleeve Top, $199
The puffy sleeves have continually gotten bigger…and bigger and bigger and bigger. I’m honestly not sure how much bigger they can really get at this point but hey, where there’s a will there’s a way! Plus, we know fashion people will go as big and weird as necessary to stand out so they can make up for not having a personality, so beware. Especially since this trend dominated the runways, we can definitely expect to see it all year.
3. Extremely Oversized Hobo Bags
Considering celebs have gone so far as to carrying purses even too small for a Polly Pocket, 2020 is guaranteed to flip to the total opposite end of the spectrum. Think huge oversized hobo bags circa early 2000s. Think Olsen twins in their prime of looking homeless. (I say “prime” because obviously they still look homeless and all, but the whole look was at least kind of cool back then.) According to WhoWhatWear, extra large totes were all over the runways—and hey, as a girl who carries glasses, floss, and more meds than I care to share with you all in my purse with me at all times, this is a trend I’ll get behind.
4. Actual Bras as Tops
Rhoda Black Triangle Strap Detail Bralet, $15
According to Harper’s Bazaar, this year crop tops are out and bra tops are in. We had the lingerie slip dresses trend, the super-sheer-basically-naked trend, and now, 2020 brings us the year of the bra-top trend. So basically just bras—bras are a trend for 2020. As someone who has been pushing the boundaries of what constitutes a bra vs. a top since college, I’m ready for this.
5. Vests
ASOS DESIGN Tux Suit Vest, $40
Serena van der Woodsen is the only person I’ve ever seen make a vest look cool, and like, she was a fictional character. And kind of an annoying one at that. Yeah, I said it. Anyway, vests are going to be cool…unlike Jenny Humphrey who never will be cool. Sorry, lil J.
6. Aggressively Oversized Chains
PrettyLittleThing Gold Chunky Multi Layering Chain Necklace, $18
Clearly, the trend I’m foreseeing here for 2020 is everything obnoxious and oversized. I’m not a professional trend forecaster, but this seems like a direct response to the tiny trend of 2018-19. Such is life. So along with oversized sleeves and extremely oversized hobo bags, I’m thinking we’re going to see some oversized rapper-level chunky chains… but like, on a petite wanderlust influencer. According to The Zoe Report, chunky chains were all over the runways which means both the trend, and the chain itself, will be increasing in size this year.
7. Boilersuits
ASOS DESIGN Boilersuit with Zip, $60.50
The name alone of this trend makes me feel weird. If you’re not familiar, boilersuits are traditionally a one-piece protective garment worn for manual labor. Now obviously, fashion puts a “sexy” spin on the traditional boilersuit, because of course influencers are going to take manual labor and make it bougie and obnoxious. The name alone leaves me picturing Hopper from Stranger Things getting ready to go back into that spooky hole to the upside down. So I don’t know, it’s kind of hard for me to really get into this trend when all I can picture is Hopper in his full hazmat suit.
Trends are only getting more and more absurd, so there’s no doubt in my mind that we’ll see at least one of these aforementioned ugly 2020 fashion trends consuming our Insta feeds at some point this year. Here’s to hoping we realize this sh*t is hideous and get our act together before then, but I doubt it!
Images: @mixedhype/ Unsplash; SVNR; Verishop; Etsy; Pretty Little Thing (2); ASOS (2)
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