Planning a wedding is stressful as fuck — we totally get it. That’s why Betches’ beloved Say Yes to the Betch newsletter is now also a web column! Every other week, a bride who’s deep in wedding planning will share updates on her journey: the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Meet your bride: Sara K. Runnels.
Want even more exclusive content? Subscribe to the Say Yes to the Betch newsletter for the latest trends, tips, and how-tos delivered straight to your inbox every other Tuesday.
It’s been such a joy sharing my wedding planning journey with you over the last couple of months. From wedding websites and vendor vetting to (going over) budgets and realistic bachelorette party themes, I’ve explored a lot and learned even more about all the ways to make your bridal era extra fun, creative and special — without losing your entire damn mind in the process. Ultimately, the epic day will be over before you know it, and you’ll look over at your darling new spouse, sigh lovingly, and say, “I deserve a 31-day nap!” (But you’ll sleep well knowing the hard work was worth it.)
If I had to choose a significant takeaway from this experience, it’d have to be all the positives that came from having a (voluntary) narrow window to plan. If you still have time to figure out your wedding route, let me try to convince you: the smaller the countdown, the better.
How To Plan A Wedding In 6 Months
After our engagement in March 2024, we initially discussed June 2025 being the ideal time to wed. 12-18 months is the standard planning timeframe, and this gave us 15 months to get to work and execute. But as the weeks went on, and I began to enter the Wild Wild West of Planning, I couldn’t let go of an unyielding feeling: I absolutely did not want to think about a wedding for the next almost-year-and-a-half.
At this exact moment, I have 862 things on my mind. And that’s with my wedding a month behind me! We are all busy, complex creatures who balance job demands, life demands, and family demands while still trying to stay healthy and sleep well. We wonder which national horrors will haunt us next. Marrying the love of your life is such a treat. It should really feel that way. It dawned on me that thinking and toiling and conjuring for too long about a wedding wouldn’t be as beneficial to me in the way it’s been marketed to us.
At that point, we’d already found our perfect venue but hadn’t locked down the date yet. After much back-and-forth over the pros and cons of moving up the nuptials to Fall, I called our contact and asked if, just by chance, she had a Saturday in October open. Luckily, a couple had recently canceled their hold on the 12th — and their relationship as a whole (I wish them all the luck being back on dating apps), and it was available for us if we were interested. Six months to plan felt like just enough time and no time at all, but as a writer, I love an imminent deadline and a creative challenge.
I know what you’re thinking: all the good vendors will be booked up if we do it too quickly! And that’s a fair argument against short-term planning. But what I learned after joining the local “weddings on a budget” groups was that no matter the circumstance — date, budget, location, etc. — there were always multiple small businesses who responded to requests and said: I can make that happen for you! Once you lock in your venue, I promise you vendors (of merit!) will be available. (I am saying this from a Big City, so I understand your concern if smaller-town options feel restricted.)
Maybe you are also thinking: six months isn’t enough time to ensure all my friends and family can make it to the big event. I knew a good handful of guests might already be booked for a vacation or another wedding, but after checking with the major players first (parents, immediate fam, wedding party), we were willing to risk it. (Some might even see a tight turnaround as a money-saving hack. 😉)
There are three phases to most wedding planning, no matter your timing: Phase 1: Locking in the big guns. (Urgent.) Phase 2: Passive planning. (Not urgent.) Phase 3: Final countdown. (Urgent.)
For me, phase 1 (April-May) was giving toxic girl boss hustle culture, but I created a solid infrastructure and found a good work/wife balance with my partner’s help. I put everything we needed to do over the next six months on color-coded Post-it notes, then stuck them on the wall of our bedroom so we could never escape them. Phase 2 (summer) was lowkey, chill, and very demure — to-do boxes were being checked, and Post-it notes were being tossed, but at a sane, leisurely pace. Phase 3 (August-September) was bonkers, but I was so organized it was easy for us to get “last-minute” things done without feeling like we needed more time.
To put it into perspective, I made final signage and place cards two weeks out, booked reception chairs three weeks out, landed hair and makeup artists four weeks out, and ordered our cake six weeks out. What can I say? I like to live life on the edge. (A comical statement from someone who had three Excel docs, a calendar, and the Notes app open at any given hour.) People frequently elope in shorter time frames and manage to find photographers, dinner venues, MUAs, etc., in limited windows. Winning The Amazing Race is possible. It just takes a little more discipline and organization from the jump.
The biggest pro of all: I didn’t have to agonize about my decisions. I am picky and particular as hell, but when you have six months to plan, you have to decide if you’re going to have floating candles or pillars, long sleeves or no sleeves, a band or a DJ — and you need to figure it out right this second! I love that part. I love that I could check a box (and check it twice) and then move on because the clock was ticking. Not once did this upfront urgency take away from the specificities and the details and the over-the-topness of my choices. It only made them more concrete. If I had another year to think about candles and seating charts and officiant scripts and place cards, dear reader, I might’ve gone mad.
Instead, I mostly enjoyed the wedding planning process because, from the get-go, it was coming to an end soon. Maybe it’s because I’m 40; maybe it’s because I’m an impatient millennial; or maybe it’s because the sooner I had my dream wedding, the sooner I danced the night away with everyone I love — the sooner I’d get to sit back and enjoy life with my sweet, angel of a husband. And allow my brain bandwidth to return to its regularly scheduled chaos.
I hope whatever route you choose to go, you have the support you need to get there. If no one’s told you lately, then let me say to you (from the bottom of my formerly-black heart): you’re doing great! Your wedding’s going to be fantastic. Your partner is the luckiest! And you deserve a little treat for all your hard work. Go on, go get it.
Some final hot tips:
- Buy a Canva membership and a printer. This combo made it easy to design my own signage, customize party extras, print photos, and it saved me a lot of money vs. someone else doing it.
- Hire a day-of planner if you can. (Look for a budget-friendly up-and-coming planner who has a couple of weddings under their belt and a few good reviews.)
- As a shortcut for vendor-finding, follow local planners on IG so you can see all the businesses they tag in each wedding.
- In this instance, and this instance only, Facebook is your friend. (Marketplace is a haunted house, but the barely-used wedding market is worth the scare.)
- Have a secret word you two say to each other in the days leading up to and the day of to remind both of you to take a deep breath, be present, and remember why you’re here. Your love is bigger than anything!
- Be discerning with the advice you seek and take; every wedding, every budget, every bride’s expectations are so vastly different. The goal is to look around on your wedding day and say: this feels like me, this feels like us.
- If you’re doing a small elopement or a giant three-day celebration, weddings are no easy feat to put together—physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. To the best of your ability, be 1000% sure that this is how you want to proceed. (I have never been so sure of anything in my life, and I wish that for all of you.)
- If you have a unique or fascinating love story, share it with New York Times Vows. Seeing our wedding in the paper was a next-level feeling.
- Amid such a traditional endeavor, embrace non-tradition wherever you can.
- It’s okay to look exactly like you do at this very moment on your wedding day.
