By now, you’ve probably seen the story of the Texas breakup taking over TikTok. You know, Jillian Lavin — aka @spritelynotthesoda — the woman who went viral for singing her heartbreak story. In case you missed it, Jillian and her boyfriend of three years packed up their LA life and moved to Texas. Well, she packed everything, including her emotional baggage, while he just casually let her deplete her savings. He then handed her a breakup note… like he’s in the fifth grade. Classy. And just like that, the internet was left debating whether or not she should’ve seen the signs.
But here’s the thing — whether it’s some shady dude on TikTok or your very own situationship, how many of us are sticking around in relationships that are going absolutely nowhere? If Jillian’s story is giving you secondhand existential dread, it might be time to ask yourself: Are you wasting your best years in a dead-end relationship?
What Happened With The Viral Texas TikTok Couple?
@spritelynotthesoda Anyway how have you been?? #breakup #heartbroken #storytime #healing ♬ original sound – spritely
Jillian had been dating her boyfriend in Los Angeles for three years when he decided he wanted to move back to Texas to be closer to his dad. Of course, Jillian took this as a sign they were in it for the long haul and decided to move with him.
“I actually asked at certain points, ‘Do you want to be with me?’ And he’d be like, ‘No, I don’t want to break up. I want to be with you,'” Jillian shared in an interview with The Cut. “There was lots of communication, lots of assurances from him that he did want me to come, and then I came.”
She packed up their whole apartment, left her studio, quit her improv troupe (RIP her comedy career), and went all in. She even used her hard-earned cash to set up their new place in Texas. Meanwhile, her boyfriend came back from a family vacay and handed her a note saying they weren’t compatible. Yikes.
And the internet, as it does, had feelings about this. At first, people were all Team Jillian, rallying around her with advice like, “Don’t ever drain your savings for a man unless you have matching rings.” But the deeper the internet dove, the more people started to question if she missed all the red flags and ended up stuck in Texas with a broken heart and an empty bank account.
Jillian’s story might seem like an extreme example, but we’ve all been there — ignoring the red flags, convincing ourselves that if we just do this one more thing, the relationship will magically transform into the love story we deserve. Spoiler alert: It won’t. “After working with couples for years, I’m consistently amazed at the lengths people will go to not end a relationship,” clinical social worker and therapist Alex Banta tells Betches. “One partner wants out and instead of doing the hard work of breaking up, they create complicated situations hoping the other person will leave first.” Sound familiar?
Whether it’s moving across the country, staying together for convenience, or just refusing to acknowledge that you’re no longer compatible, these are all signs you might be wasting your time. Jillian thought she was making a move for their future, but in reality, her boyfriend had already checked out — he just didn’t have the guts to say it.
“It’s so disappointing because I believe in love,” Jillian tells The Cut. “I’m proud of myself for taking the leap and moving to Texas with him. I think that’s a strength, and I think it’s really sad that so many women have been punished for their strength and their faith and commitment to love instead of rewarded for it. It’s a shame.”
Are You Wasting Your Best Years In A Dead-End Relationship? A Not-So-Fun Quiz
You don’t have to move to Texas to realize you’re in a relationship that’s going nowhere. Here are is a short quiz to see if you’re wasting time away with someone who doesn’t actually want to be with you.
Are you the only one making sacrifices? Yes or no.
If you’re always the one giving up opportunities, moving, or making big life changes while your partner barely lifts a finger, that’s a major red flag.
Is your partner avoiding serious conversations? Yes or no.
“Clear and direct communication is essential when making major life decisions,” Banta says. If your partner dodges talks about the future or gets vague when you try to bring up big topics, they might already have one foot out the door.
Do you find yourself constantly excusing your partner’s behavior?
If you’re regularly saying, “Oh, they didn’t mean it like that,” or “They’re just going through a phase,” it’s time to face reality. Someone who truly values you won’t make you second-guess their commitment.
If you answered yes to all three questions, odds are you’re staying in a relationship that’s headed nowhere but down — and you’re probably going down with it.
How To Avoid Becoming The Next Viral Breakup
Before you drain your bank account and set yourself up for disappointment, it’s important to have some brutally honest conversations. Asking direct questions like, “Is there a part of you that would prefer to do this move alone?” can save you a lot of heartache, according to Banta. Don’t sugarcoat things, and don’t let your partner’s vague answers slide. If you can’t talk about your future openly and honestly, that’s a huge red flag.
But even with all the clear communication in the world, if your partner is inherently selfish or a coward (ouch, but true), those conversations won’t matter. “At the end of the day, you ask honest and direct questions, and you have to trust your partner that they mean what they say,” Banta says. If they don’t, you’ve got your answer.
Jillian’s story is a cautionary tale, but it’s also a wake-up call. If you’re constantly bending over backward for a partner who won’t even meet you halfway, it’s time to reevaluate. Life’s too short to waste your best years in a dead-end relationship. Because trust me, you deserve a lot more than a breakup note and a one-way ticket back home.
