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4 Ways To Strike On "A Day Without A Woman" Because That's Just Like, The Rules Of Feminism

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Today is the Day Without A Woman strike! It is my sincere hope that you are reading this under a thousand covers, eye mask half on, after having left a 20 minute long voicemail for your boss explaining how the patriarchy hurts all of us—but if randomly not showing up to work isn’t something you can do right now (fair), here are four other ways you can participate in the Women’s Strike today:

1. Don’t Buy Anything, With Your Money Or Your Dad’s

This does not include minority- or women-owned businesses, so if you absolutely must shop today might I direct you to shopbetches.com?

Dave Chappelle Money

2. Wear Red

Not that you need an excuse to wear a bold lip, but lipstick totally counts here.

Red Lipstick

3. Refuse To Do Work, Paid Or Unpaid

You probably know what paid work is (if not idk what to tell you), but if you’re confused about “unpaid” labor, it’s basically all the shit that you do for other people (men) all day that you don’t get any money for. So like, when you do your boyfriend’s dishes because he seems to be confused about how dishes go from being dirty to clean, that’s unpaid labor. When you help your best guy friend write his dating profile because when left to his own devices he’ll include stuff like “looking for a quick beej,” that’s unpaid labor. If you can’t take off paid work today, you can at least take the day off from helping men figure out how to be functioning humans, even though they might like…die.

Not My Problem

4. Donate To Charities That Support Women

It’s not technically an official part of the Day Without A Woman strike, but we’re taking some liberties here. We’re gonna go out on a limb and say that the “don’t spend money” clause does not apply to charitable organizations whose purpose is to help women. So use the money that you would have spent on a green juice today and divert it to a cause you care about. Reminder that your personal Ben & Jerry’s fund does not actually count as a charity, no matter what its GoFundMe says.

Supporting Women

Pro-Women Nonprofits You Can Donate To Like, Now:

The Movement Foundation: If body positivity is your cause, send your cash to The Movement Foundation, which empowers women to feel confident in their bodies by equipping them with the tools to be active. It was started by former SoulCycle instructor Jenny Gaither, so you know it’s legit.

Lady Parts Justice: As a Betches reader, it’s probably safe to say that you have a healthy interest in both women’s rights and comedy (also that you’re smart AF). LPJ uses comedy, culture, and digital media to “sound an alarm” about the erosion of reproductive rights in the U.S. They were the women behind the nationally trending #PaulRyanSoScared, and what could be more worthy of your support than trolling Paul Ryan on Twitter?

Girls Who Code: Girls Who Code helps to empower girls with the computer science skills they need to pursue 21st century opportunities. Think about how much money you’d pay to not have to ask your guy friends or some sweaty fuckboy at the genius bar for help with your electronics. Then donate that much.

The Malala Fund: The Malala Fund is a group started by Malala Yousafzai (duh) and provides girls around the world with 12 years of education to achieve their potential and create positive change within their families. If you’re feeling on the fence about whether or not your can really spare another $10, calmly remind yourself that the Taliban straight-up shot Malala in the face and then donate an extra $10 for being petty.

Planned Parenthood: You know ‘em, you love ‘em, it’s Planned Parenthood! With the GOP replacement threatening to eliminate Planned Parenthood’s funding, your donations are more important than ever. Do your nails at home this week and donate your manicure money to PP so that your next pregnancy scare doesn’t result in you being tied to Brad from Ultra for the rest of your goddamn life.

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Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.