Before Edward Cullen assaulted our eyes with his pasty AF skin, there was Buffy the vampire slayer. Real talk though: Edward better count his fucking blessings that Buffy had better things to do with her time, like stop the apocalypse every five fucking minutes, otherwise you know she would have staked his hipster ass the first chance she got. Can you imagine a world without Edward whining to Bella about all the ways in which he didn’t want to fuck love her? What a world that would be. Sighs. ANYWAYS, apparently it’s been 20 years since Buffy The Vampire Slayer first aired and I suddenly feel the need to start drinking during lunch because Jesus Christ we’re ancient.
If you’ll remember, this was the show that gave us the best one-liners to fire back at our mothers with when they were being like, sooo embarrassing. It also was the root of our desire to wear red leather and platform sneakers. But most importantly, it gave us the only question to ask if you really wanted to know someone: Are you Team Angel or Team Spike? But because I don’t want to make someone cry get into this with people on social media, I won’t start this debate now. *Cough* Team Angel *Cough*
From her fashion choices to the way she got every hot AF immortal badass to profess their undying love for her, it’s clear that Buffy was a betch. So in honor of the series’ 20th anniversary, here are 10 reasons why Buffy was a true chosen betch.
1. She knew from a very early age that she was low-key better than everyone else around her and she wasn’t afraid to brag talk about it.
Me when a guy on Tinder asks why I’m being such a bitch by not giving him my number.
2. And like every true betch she let her RBF do all the talking for her:
Iconic.
3. While other girls are getting ghosted by Bumble bros she had not one, but TWO guys willing to risk their literal souls for her love.
I’ll slow clap to that. Like, either of these guys could love me, leave me, and fuck me up emotionally and I would say “thanks for your time.”
Also #TeamAngel
4. And on that note, she had the original platinum vagine.
Sorry Corinne, but did your vagina ever cause someone to lose their soul/try and end the world and/or gain a soul/stop the end of the world? No? Then maybe you should think about re-branding those T-shirts…
5. She perfected the I DGAF attitude. Like, even though the apocalypse is coming she cannot even be bothered.
Me when everyone starts freaking out about an impending snowstorm.
6. She’s also, like, V uplifting.
Seriously, she should got into motivational speeches.
7. When her friends stepped out of line (which was always) and tried to pull something stupid shit like save the world or wear mom jeans with clear plastic inserts she’d be there to put them in their fucking place.
Words I whisper to myself every morning.
8. And she was ALWAYS having to save her friends from getting blackout and taking home strangers vampire attacks.
The SHADE.
9. She was full of judgement insight into the human psyche.
That practically screams “Do not trust her. She’s a fugly slut.”
10. She died like, five times on the show and that still didn’t stop her from being the hottest cast member. And knowing it.
Tbh my only complaint is that she didn’t appreciate the true gift that was Anya.
Her appreciation for vengeance and sarcasm gives me the will to live. How can you not love this girl??
HOW?
In conclusion, Buffy was one of the betchiest girls of the ’90s hands down. Now, if you need me, I’ll just be drinking like it’s 1997 again.
