Kylie & Travis Getting Stormi A School Bus Is Hilariously Sad

If there’s one thing the pandemic has illuminated, it’s that celebrities really aren’t just like us, and people are growing sick and tired of the rich and famous trying to pretend otherwise. Just take your tubloads of money and chill in your mansions and sit this one out. Well, perhaps the only thing worse than, say, a celebrity lamenting how they got bamboozled into buying a $13,000 bottle of wine (when they are worth about $75 million) is a celebrity trying on life as a regular person for sport—which Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott did as a fun little family bonding activity, when they got Stormi a yellow school bus for her birthday.

On Tuesday, Kylie Jenner shared some pictures of Stormi to her IG Story (as she does). In the first slide, Stormi seems to be hugging a yellow school bus—yes, a regular ol’ yellow school bus, like the ones we took to school. Not a euphemism or anything. Not even a school bus that’s been modified by Xzibit. Anyway, Kylie wrote over the picture, “All Stormi has been talking about is riding a big yellow bus. Daddy surprised her.”

The next few images show Stormi walking, alone, down the aisle of the bus. I would like to reiterate again that this bus has those big maroon leather seats we were all tortured with on hot days, where you and 1-2 friends would cram yourselves in (because the seats were not separated), legs sticking to the fake leather. Why am I explaining this, we all remember what school buses were like! Kylie isn’t reading this.

We don’t know if Travis bought or rented the bus (although I’m hoping he rented it, because what the hell would they do with a school bus after this photo opp—donate it to a school maybe?), but the appropriately named website cites that renting a school bus can cost from $389-850 per day. Buying a bus can range from $90,000-290,000. I already broke my brain trying to figure out what a $13,000 bottle of wine is worth in layman’s money to a person worth $75 million, so there is absolutely no way I am going to sit here and figure out how many fractions of a penny it would be like for Travis Scott (who is worth $50 million) to buy or rent a school bus—but just know that it was probably worth less to them than the gum stuck underneath the seats of the bus.

Now, you can’t put a price tag on a child’s happiness, but what’s truly priceless is this entire situation, which I can’t decide between being deeply hilarious or profoundly sad. Probably a little bit of both.

First, as many Twitter users have pointed out, it’s absurd that Kylie and Travis would spend any amount of money to get their child an experience most of us peasants got for free (minus the cost of property taxes, I guess). And the experience they bought for fun was a largely unpleasant one, no less! 

Also, seeing Stormi wander down that big, yellow bus alone is kind of just sad. They couldn’t rent invite along any friends for her to sit with? Did she go anywhere in the bus or just take pictures, the way wannabe influencers can pay a small sum to pose in front of private jets?

Also, was it ever about the physical vehicle of the bus, or was it more about what the bus represents? I clearly don’t live in that house (a fact I am reminded of via court order… just kidding) but, seeing as Stormi has evidently never been on a school bus before, she probably learned about it from TV and movies. I kind of have a feeling it’s not about the bus, but about the regular-person experience of going to school. You know, waiting at the stop with your friends. Sitting next to your friends. Chatting about the day ahead with your friends. Having friends to whom you are not related by blood. The fact that her parents heard this desire and interpreted it in the most rich-person way possible is like a discarded plotline on Arrested Development, or Marie Antoinette building a fake village at Versailles so she could “escape from the drudgery of royalty.” 

I guess it’s true that the grass is always greener, something I will whisper to myself when I’m crammed into a stranger’s armpit on the M60. Now have Stormi cosplay that she woke up late and needs to ask her mom, who is still in pajamas and hasn’t had her coffee yet, to drive her to school.

Images: kyliejenner / Instagram (2)

The Most Ridiculous Things About Stormi World 2

This weekend was one of the biggest events of the year, and no, I’m not talking about the Super Bowl. Saturday marked Stormi Webster’s 2nd birthday, and in true Kardashian-Jenner fashion, Kylie Jenner threw her what is possibly the most over-the-top party in history. Last year, Kylie and Travis Scott set a pretty high bar for ridiculous birthdays with the original Stormi World, but they managed to completely outdo themselves this year. Basically, Stormi World 2 makes all of Gatsby’s parties look like lame backyard barbecues.

This year, instead of just one lavish themed area, we got three. Of course, there was the terrifying Stormi World, but party guests also got to explore Trolls World and Frozen World, which were all 10 times fancier than any party I’ve ever been to. Obviously, most Kardashian-Jenner parties aren’t exactly normal, but this one feels especially ridiculous. I’m positive they spent more than my annual salary on this party, and Stormi probably still won’t remember anything. But anything for Instagram! Let’s go through some of the more absurd parts of Stormi World 2.

The Stormi Slide

The giant inflatable Stormi entrance tunnel? So last year. This year, they added a giant inflatable slide, complete with a massive inflatable Stormi at the top. These slides are fun AF, but the Stormi head is really giving me horror movie vibes. Like, if this party was Us, this would definitely be the cursed area where your tether attacks you.

The Wearable Stormi Head

The nightmare continues with a smaller, yet even scarier Stormi head. This one is like a mascot/bobblehead that someone is wearing, and it’s honestly horrific. I practically need therapy from seeing this, so I shudder to think what all this is doing to Stormi. Also, I need to know who is under the giant Stormi head, and how much they’re being paid. I really hope all the people working this event made a lot of money for putting up with this rich BS.

The Music

In Kylie’s Instagram stories from the party, you could clearly hear that they were playing Travis Scott music in the Stormi World section. We heard bits of multiple songs, so it seems like that was pretty much the playlist. Now, I love me some Travis Scott (I have Astroworld saved on my phone), but I wouldn’t say that it’s the most appropriate music for a two-year-old’s birthday party. It’s like every actor has certain movies they’re not going to show their kids until they’re older—Stormi should probably steer clear of her dad’s music until she’s at least 15. My mom confiscated my Usher CD when I was 10, and I turned out okay.

The Stormi Claw Machine

Are those… whoopee cushions with Stormi’s face on them? I don’t think they actually are, but that’s kinda what it looks like. But really, what are they? Little pillows? Non-helium balloons? Regardless, it’s super f*cking weird to have people play an arcade game that involves snatching your daughter’s face with a metal claw. Just put some of the Toy Story aliens in there and call it a day, Kylie—not everything has to have Stormi’s face on it!

The Stormi Shop

Of course, any kid’s party worth attending has party favors, but usually they’re like… little bags of candy. Not at Stormi World!! This party had an entire merch tent called the ~Stormi Shop~, which had t-shirts, hoodies, slinkies, and more of those things that look like whoopee cushions (pretty sure they’re pillows??). Guests could tie-dye their own Stormi World merch, or they could probably have a servant do it for them if they didn’t want to get their hands dirty. This is extremely extra, but I’m not gonna lie and say I wouldn’t love one of those tie-dye sweatshirts. You can never have enough hoodies!

The Giant Trolls

This is not the first time Kylie has hired giant Trolls to come hang out with Stormi, as Poppy stopped by the house on Christmas Eve. I guess Stormi likes them, but at two years old, I would’ve been scared sh*tless of these big-ass Trolls. Let’s be real, they would make me uncomfortable even now. The Frozen area of the party also had character appearances from Olaf and Elsa, but somehow the Trolls feel so much weirder.

The Environmental Impact

Okay, so I don’t know exactly what went into putting on this event, and maybe (hopefully) some of this stuff was done using sustainable practices. But I’m not so confident about that. And no matter what, it can’t be that green to basically build Disneyland for one night and then tear it all down the next day. It’s pretty depressing to think about how much waste was probably created from this event, because I’m pretty sure the all the props in the Trolls World jungle aren’t recyclable. My childhood birthday parties at the bowling alley might not have been this cool, but at least those parties didn’t have the environmental footprint of a small country.

At the end of the day, Stormi World 2 was obviously ridiculous, and I kind of feel like that’s the whole point. The Kardashians have set a precedent for throwing these wild parties, and now it’s like they just do it because it’s their thing. If they’re going to keep doing this year after year, the least they could do is send an invite my way. I’m really good at tie-dye!

Images: kyliejenner / Instagram

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The Most Dramatic Celebrity Breakups Of 2019

There are so many things to love about this time of year. The bottomless supply of baked goods, the wall-to-wall Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, the multiple consecutive days where you don’t have to change out of your pajamas, and finally, looking back on all the juicy breakups that happened throughout the year. I believe the phrase is “the best way to spread Christmas cheer is by recounting strangers’ personal pain loudly for all to hear,” no? Well, it certainly is for me. And this year, there were A LOT of celebrity breakups. So many, in fact,  that Ryanne even had to talk me down from one when I INSISTED you would all care about the guy from This is Us divorcing his wife. You can thank her in the comments. But let’s take a look at the rest of the most dramatic celebrity breakups of 2019, and really get in the holiday spirit! 

Khloé Kardashian & Tristan Thompson

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We are ready whenever you are little mama 🦋

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I had really hoped that by the end of this decade we would have stopped talking about these people, but it seems that is not the case. In fact, two members of America’s First Family of Reality TV made it onto this list. The things I do for you guys. I still can’t believe this breakup was only this year, but it was indeed back in February when Jordyn Woods foolishly cut herself off from the Kardashian juvederm gravy train by making out with Tristan Thompson. Big mistake. Huge. She claimed (on Red Table Talk) that it was just a quick kiss on the lips, but that was enough to seal her fate. Kylie threw her out, onto the mean streets of the Hollywood Hills, left to fend for herself with nowhere else to go but a slightly smaller mansion. Poor baby! 

This was the last straw for Khloé, who will tolerate her boyfriend motorboating models while she’s at home pregnant, but a goodbye kiss on the lips is OVER. THE. LINE. She also seemed to blame Jordyn for her breakup when we all know men are the ones responsible for where they put their d*cks. 

Why are you lying @jordynwoods ?? If you’re going to try and save yourself by going public, INSTEAD OF CALLING ME PRIVATELY TO APOLOGIZE FIRST, at least be HONEST about your story. BTW, You ARE the reason my family broke up!

— Khloé (@khloekardashian) March 1, 2019

Maybe don’t pick a cheater next time, Khloé! 

Kylie Jenner & Travis Scott

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I brought the snow 2 da desert 🌵

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We might as well get on with the Kylie and Travis breakup, since we’re here. This relationship was a whirlwind. Kylie and Tyga broke up, and then she almost immediately got with Travis, and then she almost immediately got pregnant, because her mother was too busy selling her sister’s sex tape and building an empire to teach her youngest daughter about the birds and the bees. At the very least she could have showed her that tape! Alas, she did not, and here we are. Stormi was born in February 2018, less than a year after Kylie and Travis got together. Things seemed to be going well for a while, with Travis even telling Playboy that having a baby had not slowed down their sex life at all. Duh, Travis! You are still in the honeymoon stage! And you have nannies! I think a decrease in sex life happens because people are tired from the baby and also kind of sick of each other from being together so long. Two problems Travis and Kylie would not be encountering. But congrats on beating the odds! 

But then, October came and Travis and Kylie announced they were on a break. Guess that sex life finally slowed down, huh? They still appear to be close, and although I wouldn’t count out a reconciliation, this really was the end of an era for Kylie. Thankfully she has those billion dollars to hold her close at night! 

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth

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My love ❤️

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I’ve got to admit, this one hurts. I thought these two crazy kids might just make it. After meeting on the set of The Last Song *pause for audible sobbing* and dating on and off for over 10 years, they finally got married in December 2018. Then, by August, it was over. And that’s when it got messy. All of a sudden Miley was dating Kaitlynn Carter, the most annoying cast member on The Hills: New Beginnings, and Liam was walking around Australia looking like someone drowned his puppy. I haven’t seen anything sadder since we got my brother’s wedding photos back and it looked like my glass of champagne was my plus one in every single shot. (It was.)

THEN! Miley and Kaitlynn breakup (duh, she’s annoying!) and now Miley is with Cody Simpson. AND THEN!!! Miley got a tattoo that says “freedom” which is obviously throwing shade at Liam. A little dramatic, but okay. 

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FREEDOM #freedom #mothersdaugter #mileycyrus #singleneedle #delicatelysharp #tattoo

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But FINALLY! Liam is getting his head in the game and fighting back, recently posting a thirst trap. He looks hot, but we know you’re not that innocent, Liam. Even my grandmother knows what a thirst trap is. 

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*trapped* #CommentsByCelebs

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Cole Sprouse & Lili Reinhart 

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The sequel.

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This summer it was reported that Cole and Lili, aka the one sane spot in that bonkers fever dream known as Riverdale, broke up after two years of dating. OR DID THEY? This story was reported in July, but the day before they had been perfectly cordial at ComicCon. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think “cordial” is the word I would use to describe myself post-breakup in my early 20s. Maybe “deranged” or “paralyzed by rage,” but definitely not cordial. 

They never confirmed the breakup, and then, they started f*cking with us. Lili posted a picture of their magazine cover together saying “none of you know sh*t,” and Cole posted the same picture, with a caption I don’t understand but I can feel like I’m being mocked, you know?

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UNPRECEDENTED: Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart consume the flesh of ‘reliable sources’ to fuel their bacchanalian sex cult.

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If Cole and Lili broke up, or if they did not, it doesn’t matter now, because they’re back together! I don’t like being toyed with, but I will take it if it means that Bughead is forever. 

Bradley Cooper & Irina Shayk

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Bradley Cooper keeps it casual in windbreaker while Irina Shayk nails off-duty sophistication in camel coat for bundled-up stroll in NYC. (March 19, 2019) Bradley Cooper lo mantiene casual con un rompevientos, mientras que Irina Shayk se une a la sofisticación en un abrigo abrigo camel para dar un paseo abrigado en Nueva York. (Marzo 1, 2019) #irinashayk #irina #shayk #bradleycooper #bradley #cooper #bradrina #nyc #newyork #familygoals #family #model #momstyle #dad #mom #goals #celebrity #actor #streetstyle #celebritycouples #2019 #dadstyle #couplegoals #smile #momgoals #dadgoals #celebritydad #celebritymom #ootd #candid

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I heard you all sigh when you got to this one, but don’t act like I’m the only one here who cares about Bradley Cooper. He’s still hotter than most of the men in Hollywood even when he’s pretending to pee himself at the Grammys, okay? So, last year, Bradley wrote, directed, and starred in a little film called A Star is Born, maybe you heard of it? *pause for audible sobbing*. Sorry, that garage scene haunts me. Anyway, his co-star was the inimitable Lady Gaga, and boy did people want them to be a thing. And then, Gaga and her fiancé broke up, and she and Bradley performed at the Oscars, making everyone believe they were in love. Guys, THEY ARE ACTORS. THEY WERE ACTING. 

With this kind of speculation, though, it was almost inevitable that Bradley and Irina were going to break up. In June they announced that they were separating, which is sad, but at least they did produce quite possibly the most adorable child of all time. Yes, I do follow celebrity baby Instagram accounts, and no I don’t want to talk about it. I would just like to stress, though, for all you believers that are still out there, he will never, ever, be getting with Lady Gaga. Because he’s obviously going to end up with Jennifer Garner, right? Where my Alias fans at??!

Hannah Brown & Jed Wyatt

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That one on one was something else. I knew I couldn’t have that good of a time and not tell her the full truth. 🌹 What did y’all think of last nights episode? Also, fun fact: THE BEHIND THE BACK SHOT WAS FIRST TRY. @gmb_chum12 must have given me some good juju..

A post shared by Jed Wyatt (@jedwyatt) on

And finally, we get to the biggest Bachelor Nation breakup of the year. I think this one can be summed up by saying “men ain’t sh*t,” but you probably want a little more explanation than that. Basically, Hannah picked the incredibly poor man’s Tim McGraw as the winner on her season of The Bachelorette. And then, after she picked him but before the season was finished airing, it was revealed that Jed had a girlfriend when he went on the show and he clearly was in it just to get famous. FOR SHAME, JED! Tim McGraw would never do something so nefarious. So, Hannah dumped him on After the Final Rose, and went on to win Dancing with the Stars, and in general be one of the best Bachelorettes that the franchise has ever produced. She scrubbed him from her Instagram, but he didn’t because he still needs her to keep him relevant, duh. It appears Jed has a new girlfriend, good for him! Just FYI sweetie, he didn’t write “I wanna be your Mr. Right” for you. 

And there you have the most dramatic celebrity breakups of 2019. Count on even more Kardashians on next year’s list!

Images: khloekardashian, travisscott, liamhemsworth, winterstone, commentsbycelebs, lilireinhart, colesprouse, _itsleeas, jedwyatt/ Instagram; khloekardashian/Twitter

Are Kylie And Drake A Thing? An Investigation

It’s been over a month since we first found out about Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott’s breakup, and I’m finally ready to admit that it’s probably real. Even though I was highly skeptical about the timing of the split with Travis’ new song, things between them have been pretty quiet lately. It seems like they’re still on good terms when it comes to parenting Stormi, but that’s all that’s going on. Fine, I’ll accept that I was wrong, and the breakup wasn’t just a publicity stunt.

But now that the dust has settled from Kylie’s split with Travis, there are already lots of rumors about who she is seeing these days, and uh, they’re saying it’s Drake. That’s right, Kylie Jenner has been spending time with Champagne Papi himself, and I really don’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, this isn’t that shocking, because Drake has known the Kardashian-Jenner family for a long time, and he’s obviously Kylie’s type because he is a rapper. But on the other hand, why the f*ck would Drake, who has worked with Travis Scott in the past, want to start seeing Kylie just weeks after she broke up with his friend?! That seems messy, even by these people’s standards.

But let’s back up a little, because we don’t know for sure that anything is really going on here. There are a lot of contradicting sources happening here, so let’s go through what’s being reported on both sides. The one thing that’s not in question at all is what kicked off these rumors: Kylie attending Drake’s birthday party. The party took place in Hollywood a couple weeks ago, and at the time it was mostly notable because Adele was there looking extremely hot. But Kylie was there too, and she also attended his Halloween party last week, where, according to a People source, she stayed “super late.”

People spoke to at least three sources about the pair, with one confirming that Kylie and Drake “have been spending time together recently,” and adding that “They’ve been friends for a long time and Drake is very close to the family.” This we already knew, and both Kylie and Kendall attended Drake’s New Year’s party at the beginning this year. But another People source claimed that things have change, saying that they’ve been seeing each other “romantically” since Kylie’s split with Travis last month. And I go half a year in between dates…

But wait! There are a bunch of anonymous sources here, and they’re not all in agreement over what’s actually going on. One source told People that Kylie and Drake are “just friends,” and a second also denied that they’re dating. So basically, there are way too many anonymous sources talking about this, and no one knows what’s actually happening. We know that Kylie and Drake are friends, and it seems pretty certain that they’ve been hanging out recently, but this could be platonic, a full-blown relationship, or basically anywhere in between.

Whatever is happening, Us Weekly spoke to yet another anonymous source, who commented on Travis’ feelings about this. When asked about the Drake situation, the source said, “Travis harbors no ill will to any of Kylie’s friends,” which is pretty vague, but okay. If Travis was actually super upset about this, he probably wouldn’t say anything about it, and this source doesn’t confirm things one way or the other.

Honestly, I would be surprised if Kylie and Drake are anything more than friends with benefits, but you never know what crazy sh*t is going to happen with this family. I mean, there was a time when it seemed like a crazy rumor that Kim Kardashian might be dating Kanye West, and now they’re married with four kids. You truly never know with these people. For now, I guess we’ll just enjoy what the 750 anonymous sources have to say, and try to make some sense of things. I’m sure Kris Jenner is working overtime leaking information to all of these press outlets, making sure that we have absolutely no idea what’s going on. Can’t wait to see the manufactured real truth five months from now on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Images: Shutterstock

This Is Proof We All Got Scammed By Travis And Kylie’s ‘Breakup’

It’s been two weeks since we found out about Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner’s breakup, but I still haven’t stopped thinking about it. Okay, I stopped thinking about it for a few days, but now I’m back, and I have a major theory about what’s going on here. I won’t pretend to have any insider info here (call me, Kris Jenner!), but I have to get this off my chest. You can choose to believe me or not, but I really think that Travis and Kylie’s breakup might be a publicity stunt. Shocking, I know!

I have a lot of random interests, and one of them happens to be keeping up with the Billboard music charts. The Hot 100 is the main chart for songs in the US, and the new chart comes out every Monday afternoon. So on Monday, I was enjoying my day off of work, when I got a notification that Travis Scott’s song “Highest In The Room” secured a #1 debut on the chart. Hitting #1 at all is a big deal, but debuting at the top of the Hot 100 is pretty rare, so good for Travis.

But seeing Travis Scott do such big chart number got me thinking. Travis is undoubtedly one of the biggest rappers in the world right now, but he hasn’t been releasing new music lately. This year, he’s been featured on a handful of songs, but he’s still mainly been riding high on the massive success of his last album Astroworld. With that in mind, it seems really, um, interesting that Travis would decide to drop his first solo single in over a year just THREE DAYS after news of his very high-profile breakup went public.

Of course, any single Travis Scott releases in 2019 is inevitably going to do well, but this isn’t just any single. There are lines in the song that refer specifically to the circumstances of his relationship issues with Kylie. He had to know that this type of content would be of great interest to the masses, but this is where the timeline gets even more interesting. We have no idea how far in advance the song was written, but Travis announced on September 30th that the song would be dropping on October 4th. That was a full day before TMZ broke the news of the breakup, in the evening of October 1st. DUN DUN DUN.

We also don’t know exactly when Kylie and Travis broke up for real, but Travis announcing the song really makes it seem like he knew when the breakup would be hitting the news. Listening to lyrics like “I’m doin’ a show, I’ll back soon, that ain’t what she wanna hear,” it’s hard to imagine the song making sense if we still thought Travis and Kylie were the happy couple from their Playboy cover just a month ago.

All of this timing would be suspect on its own, but my final straw in buying this whole thing was over the weekend, when a source told E! News that Travis and Kylie are “recovering from their break and are happy to spend time together again.” The source added that a reconciliation is “inevitable,” and that they “just needed some breathing room to work out a few of their issues.” Previously, another source also told ET that Travis and Kylie are “open to getting back together in the future.” Excuse me, Kris Jenner, I’d like a word.

If there’s even an ounce of truth to what these sources are saying, then I’m sorry, but we’ve all been punk’d. We’re supposed to believe that Travis and Kylie had some big breakup barely two weeks ago, and now they’re all good, and ready to be lovey-dovey again? That’s not how relationships work. Add the fact that Travis Scott just magically had a breakup song ready to go, and I’m really not buying it anymore. I’m glad he has another #1 record, and honestly I do really like the song, but it’s all a little too perfect. This has Kris Jenner written all over it, and she’s fooled us too many times before.

Basically, I give Travis and Kylie a few more weeks of doing their own thing, while anonymous sources spew stories of how they’re thinking really hard about whether being together is the right thing for their daughter. Maybe there will be a big public reunion, where Kylie posts a photo of Travis in her Lamborghini or something, or maybe they’ll do things more quietly. Either way, I don’t trust this family as far as I can throw them.

Images: Shutterstock

Jonathan Cheban And Travis Scott Were At The Same Festival Last Night

Ah, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive we get involved with the Kardashian family. These people have so many often-forgotten connections to other famous people that it’s nearly impossible to keep track of them all. Like, remember that Blac Chyna and Tyga have a baby together? I honestly forgot about that until last week when one of my coworkers brought it up. And sometimes I can’t help but wonder if all the Kardashian friends and exes are cool with each other, or if they don’t acknowledge each other in public. That’s what I was wondering last night around 6pm when I saw Jonathan Cheban walk into Aloft Hotel LaGuardia and get his pass for Rolling Loud New York. Because guess who was headlining Rolling Loud last night at Citi Field? None other than Travis Scott. So I had to do some digging to find out if Jonathan Cheban, Kim’s best friend, was hanging out with Travis Scott, Kylie’s baby daddy and ex (for now)—and what that could mean for Kylie and Travis’s relationship.

If you look at Jonathan’s Instagram stories, you can clearly see he was at Rolling Loud, taking place October 12 and 13 at Citi Field in Queens. I didn’t just see some other guy with a similar face check in (which, with the way people in LA get fillers these days, could have been a real possibility). He posted an Insta story with his wristbands, and another one at the festival.

So he was definitely there. But does Travis have anything to do with it?

Jonathan Insta storied a concert video (ya hate to see it) where it looks like he’s backstage.

The main stage at Rolling Loud had a raised platform off to the left side where presumably artists’ entourage, photographers, and VIP friends could hang out. This looks to me like where this picture could have been taken. We don’t know whose set it was at, but it got dark at 7pm last night (sunset was at 6:20pm last night) and Travis Scott’s set, which was the last of the night, began at 9pm. Also, all the concert Insta Stories were taken within the same hour, and 15 hours ago (at the time I write this) was 10pm. I saw this and started to get giddy that Jonathan Cheban had gotten his artist passes through Travis Scott, and that they were still cool which meant maybe he and Kylie were getting back together and maybe Kylie was there?! Okay, Kylie probably was not there. But still.

But if you click through the next slide, you see Jonathan Insta Story from Travis’s set, and he’s definitely elevated on some kind of platform and not in the mix with gen pop. The only problem? He’s looking head-on at the main stage, which he couldn’t do if he was in that elevated area off to the side I just described. Ughhhh. He could have been in the Sky Loft, which was a super VIP area that cost like $2,000 a head that had an elevated seating area (and bottle service—smh so extra).

So what does this mean? Was Food God a guest of Travis’s? Or did he just happen to be at the festival Travis was headlining? Jonathan Cheban has so many connections that I doubt he has to use Travis to get into a festival, and he tagged one of the creators of Rolling Loud in all his stories, so maybe he knows him? Then again, given that he’s Kim’s best friend, I’m sure he and Travis have like… hung out a few times. I truthfully don’t know, and I regret that all my Instagram stalking could not produce a definite conclusion. But all this is especially interesting considering as recently as Thursday, E! News was reporting that Kylie and Travis were already talking about getting back together.

A source told E! News, “They both know it’s inevitable, they just needed some breathing room to work out a few of their issues. They want to make it work and have both expressed they miss each other and are still in love with one another.” Since E! is the network on which Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs, anything they report about the Kardashians can pretty much be assumed to come from their camp and can be taken as true.

So while my conspiracy theory may or may not ever be proven, it does seem like it’s only a matter of time before Kylie and Travis end back up together. Whether Jonathan Cheban has anything to do with this remains to be seen, but if you ask me, I think I cracked this case wide open.

Images:; Jonathan Cheban / Instagram

Kylie Jenner Addressed Why She And Travis Scott Broke Up

It feels like it’s been simultaneously 30 minutes and 84 years since Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott announced their split, though neither of those time frames are accurate. Just one day after the news that Kylie and Travis broke up, Kylie was spotted hanging out with her ex Tyga. Kris Jenner may work hard, but Kylie works quickly. Initially, we didn’t know the reason behind the split, and sources were only reporting that the two had decided to step away for a bit. Now, TMZ is claiming to know why Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott broke up, and they seem, in a word, like total bullsh*t.

Sources apparently told TMZ that “their decision to break things off came weeks ago, following a very long honeymoon phase that was full of love, touring, going on vacations and of course … raising their daughter, Stormi, together.” However, after they stopped jet-setting around the globe and had to confront the harsh reality of the day to day grind that is parenting, they “fell out of love,” according to sources.

I don’t know what kind of contract Travis signed with the devil Kris Jenner to get out of this breakup unscathed, but I’m seriously impressed that he did not get completely thrown under the bus like all the other Kardashian exes. Now all he has to do is not make out with any of Kylie’s friends, and he should be able to bounce right back.

I’m especially not buying this “it was mutual” stuff because Kylie seemingly shaded Travis on her Instagram story. Though Kylie is not nearly as obvious with her IG story subtweeting as her sister Khloé, fans think she took shots at Travis in this video. It’s subtle, but  in typical Kylie fashion, she mouths along the words to a song.


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Kylie via Instagram Stories tonight listening to a song called “Best You Had” Swipe left

A post shared by Kylie Jenner News (@kyliesnapchat) on

It’s not a Travis Scott song, because that would just be too obvious. Kylie’s singing along to “Stretch You Out” by Summer Walker. The lyrics include, “What you on your last breath, your last sweat, your last dime? / Out of your f*cking mind / Can’t you see I’m f*cking trying / You want p*ssy six times a week / And you never wanna clean up”

Okayyyyy, the plot thickens! In the words of Andy Dwyer, this case just remained interesting. Did Travis act entitled and Kylie couldn’t take it anymore? I could see it, given that their relationship was basically one giant publicity push for him.

BUT THEN! Literally moments after I published this article (FML), Kylie tweeted this:

Kylie Jenner addresses breakup

While I’m glad that coparenting Stormi is her and Travis’s first priority, Kylie doesn’t get to rail against the internet for making everything 100 times more dramatic than what it really is! The internet’s ability to overdramatize is the driving force behind her and her entire family’s fame! Hmph.

Initially, TMZ was alluding to the fact that Kylie and Travis’s split might not be permanent, but given that Kylie immediately went running to her ex—who she had not remained close with after their breakup, for obvious reasons—that seems unlikely. I mean, celebrities are not exactly known for making the most rational long-term decisions, so I’m just projecting here. But if it were me, and my ex went to go hang out with their ex at 2am one day after we told everyone we broke up? Let’s just say, I’ve deaded people for a lot less.

Fans also were quick to point out, in the case of any piece of Kardashian news, that this could very well be a publicity stunt. That’s because Travis Scott has a single coming out on Friday. TMZ acknowledges this, but claims, “we’re told the timing of the breakup news is simply a coincidence … this is not some sort of stunt.” Which is EXACTLY the type of statement you would make if you were planning an elaborate PR stunt!!

I don’t really think this is a PR stunt, but anything is possible when it comes to this family. We will probably never know the real reason why Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott broke up, but I’ll be continuing to stalk Kylie’s Snapchat for clues. Ugh, I wish she was as messy as Khloé—that would make my job so much easier.

Images:; kyliesnapchat / Instagram

Kylie Jenner Is Hanging Out With Tyga Again

Earlier this week, the celebrity world was rocked with the news that Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott are taking a break from their relationship. This wasn’t the kind of breakup that prompted whiney tweets about how “love is dead,” but it did come as kind of a surprise. Despite rumors that Travis cheated earlier this year, he and Kylie have recently seemed like one of the more stable Kardashian Kouples. When the sources started saying earlier this week that they were on a break, it didn’t necessarily seem like things were over for good.

But then. On Tuesday night, Kylie was spotted hanging out with none other than her ex, Tyga. To help express my unbiased journalistic take on this development, I’m going to employ the help of a gif:

Kylie, WHY? Personally, I’m not sad about her breaking up with Travis Scott, as long as they can still do whatever is best for their daughter. But Tyga? Kylie really needs Jesus, because this is just not the way.

According to E! News sources, Kylie and Tyga have stayed in touch since they broke up in 2017, but they haven’t been super close. That probably has something to do with the fact that Kylie was basically married to Travis Scott for the last two years. On Tuesday night, Kylie was hanging with her friends (Stassie was there, Jordyn obviously wasn’t), and Tyga invited her to come out with his friends. They hung out for a while, and then Kylie was apparently seen showing up to his recording studio later that night.

The sources are saying that nothing “romantic” happened, but honestly, why else would you be at your ex’s recording studio at 2am? They also added that Kylie seeing Tyga wasn’t “an intentional jab at Travis,” but like, come on. No matter what kind of terms Kylie and Travis are on right now, there’s no way that you don’t consider the optics of hanging out with your ex 24 hours after your breakup goes public. Kylie may not be a Rhodes scholar, but even she is not that obtuse.

Currently, Kylie and Tyga don’t follow each other on Instagram, but this family is always weird about who they do and don’t follow. But if they start following each other in the next few days, we’ll really know something is up. Also, let’s not forget that Tyga has a kid with Blac Chyna, who also has a kid with Rob Kardashian, who is Kylie’s half-brother. I forgot about that until like 10 minutes ago, and now I’m even more upset with the possibility that Kylie and Tyga might get back together.

Obviously, it’s not my job to make Kylie’s relationship choices for her, no matter how much it should be my job, but I really feel like she should probably take some time for herself. She obviously has her huge family to support her through a breakup, and jumping into a rebound usually isn’t the right call. Sources close to Kylie say that she really just wants the traditional married life, and to have more kids, but she just turned 22, so there’s no reason she needs to hurry into another relationship.

Whatever is actually going on with Kylie’s love triangle, I’m sure Kris Jenner is working overtime behind the scenes to make sure it’ll be a compelling TV narrative in four to six months. This is what they do best, and obviously I’m watching Kylie’s every move. Just please, please don’t mistake Tyga for husband material! It’s a trap!!

Images: Giphy