The Weeknd

Oh, short guys.

Selena Gomez, our favorite oversexualized adult baby and most-followed person on Instagram, is back with a new single, and the accompanying video clip honestly makes us cringe more than a little bit. Here’s some background: the new song is called Fetish.

Always eager to have everything Taylor Swift has, Selena Gomez has submitted paperwork to trademark her own name, mostly so she can put her name on some products.

While Donald J Cheeto was screaming internally attempting to win back the American people at his first solo address to Congress, another desperate power play was being made in the dead of night.

The Weeknd turns 27 today, so last weekend he celebrated as any functioning adult would: a huge surprise party at Dave & Buster’s in Hollywood.

Ever since we got evidence of Selena Gomez and The Weeknd hooking up, everyone has been eager to turn her and Bella Hadid into bitter enemies.

Selena Gomez has been ready for a while, and now she's finally getting it.