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“Fuck yes to summer, fuck no to bathing suit shopping” seems to be the recurring thought in my mind as the weather starts getting warmer. The current “cool girl” swim brands charge what seems to be a lot for a tiny strip of fabric that rides up my ass, and that’s simply not reasonable for most people. So, while it’s of course always better to buy from more ethical brands vs. fast fashion, not everyone can afford to buy those pricier pieces—especially when it comes to, as I said, one single strip of fabric. Here’s a list of swimsuits that cost $100 and under from fast fashion brands, more sustainable brands, and everything in between.
If you’re one of those sporty girls that I never related to, this bikini is probs the one for you. Carve Designs makes 100% of their swimsuits from recycled plastic water bottles and was founded by two sisters who, while on a surf trip, realized how hard it was to find board shorts made for women. They decided to make some themselves, and so their brand was born.
Thank you, Summersalt, for creating a one-piece that doesn’t smoosh down my boobs. Not only that, but Summersalt is also committed to sustainability, as well as working to ensure we get the best price possible by removing the middleman. Sign me up.
SXA Swim + Active
This swimsuit looks like it could flatter anyone, which makes sense, since this brand is all about designing with comfort and luxury in mind. We also love this brand because a portion of their profits go to Black Women’s Agenda, an organization devoted to securing and protecting the rights of Black women.
Lively makes bras, undies, loungewear, swimwear, and activewear; aka “Leisurée.” That word is 100% a part of my vocabulary now. Also, love that Lively actually bundles their bikini tops and bottoms *together* to help us save money.
Kitty and Vibe
You might have seen this brand on TikTok because their stuff is so cute and their vibe (no pun intended) is so positive. Kitty and Vibe is the first brand to make bikini bottoms using two butt size metrics, meaning you never have to deal with that dreaded dumpy diaper look or the equally annoying wedgie. (The bikinis do run just over $100, though.) And they make one pieces, too! They offer inclusive sizing, with many of the suits ranging from S-5XL.
Pink Lilly definitely gives off basic betch vibes, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking their bathing suits are super cute and super affordable. Like, I’ve bought two bellinis at brunch in NYC that cost more than one of these things.
If you’re into a sexier look/that single-strip-of-fabric vibe I spoke about earlier, this is the brand for you. Their bathing suits are extremely affordable—like I don’t really want to know how/where they are made—but very trendy and perfect for a thirst trap (even though your ex totally isn’t worth it, sweetie).
I’ve only heard amazing things about Good American swim. They have so many fun different colors and flattering styles, and for some reason, buying from Good American makes me feel better than buying from Skims. Almost like I’m supporting a small business? But not at all.
Alpine Butterfly Swim
Alpine Butterfly Swim is a plus-size luxury swimwear line designed and founded in Venice Beach, California. They have some of the most unique and fun swim styles out there. While they’re definitely on the pricier side, you can always find some good stuff in their sale section, like this Overalls One-Piece.
Abercrombie & Fitch
Full disclosure, I do work for Abercrombie. But I know how much everyone loves their Curve Love denim, so I felt like everyone should know they have Curve Love swim, too. They also have super cute cover up options that may or may not also be in my cart right now.
Andie Swim is all about stylish staples that look and fit great. Their ethos is “comfortable looks good on you,” and I’m never one to say no to a compliment. 😍 But seriously, don’t underestimate how much better a bikini feels if it’s actually comfortable. Thx, Andie.
Faithfull The Brand
This brand is available on Amazon and Shopbop, so you can trust that it’s not going to be child sized when it finally arrives. Right? This one is cute while still being appropriate enough to wear on a family beach day (thank you, high waist), and the top could also pass for a crop top. Multifunctional, am I right?
Amalfi Coast vibes for less than the price of an overweight baggage fee? Sign me up. The print will look so cute in all your summer
thirst traps Instagrams.
Images: Lucas Ottone / stocksy.com; Carve Designs; Summersalt; SXA Swim + Active; Lively, Pink Lilly, IconSwim; Good American; Alpine Butterfly Swim; Abercrombie & Fitch; Andie Swim
I live and die for Halloween. I recently told a few friends that I couldn’t make dinner plans Halloween weekend because, although I currently don’t have plans, if we’re not doing something that requires a costume, I am not going. And while I’ve had my costume planned for the last six months and I’m dying my hair blue for real just for the costume, I understand that not everyone loves Halloween as much as I do. Or like, even if they do, they might have actual real lives and things to do aside from planning one outfit half a year in advance (what’s that like?). But if you have a ton of other things to focus on, or just DGAF about buying an elaborate costume for Halloween, there are still options for you to look amazing that don’t require a ton of work. I found some cute options that are cheap, easy to throw together, and look like you actually care about the greatest day of the year.
I’ve seen this costume around for several years now and I think it’s such a cute idea. All you have to do is throw on a flannel and some overalls you probably already own, or even just mom jeans if overalls aren’t your thing. Get a cute straw hat or use your beach hat from the summer. Then the rest is just makeup. Load up on eyeliner, draw in a mouth, get some cheap drugstore black lipstick, and draw in an orange nose and cheeks. It’s so simple and really requires zero artistic ability, but looks really put-together.
2. A Mouse, Duh
Because the hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some sort of animal ears, you can throw together an easy costume that everyone will get with this hilarious “I’m a mouse, duh” shirt. Also, huge oversize shirts are so trendy right now that you’ll definitely be able to wear this post-Halloween too. Get some cute mouse years from Amazon or just make your own, pair with chic over the knee boots, and if you really want to sell it, you can draw on a little nose and whiskers. This costume is so comfortable you can literally just wear it straight to bed when you come home hammered.
3. Wednesday Addams
Wednesday Addams is an absolute classic and an easy costume for anyone. I’ve been Wednesday myself several times as an additional backup costume. This dress is super cute from Hot Topic and you’ll definitely be able to rewear it afterwards. To sell the Wednesday look, braid your hair in pigtails, do some dark makeup, and look morose. Costume finished!
I am obsessed with Stranger Things and Eleven’s new 80s look is perfect for a quick costume. I also definitely bought this shirt from Hot Topic just to wear in real life. Costume pieces you can actually rewear are the best. Not only is this outfit really easy to throw together, but to make sure you look like Eleven, put your hair half up with a scrunchie, draw in a nosebleed with lipstick, and carry around a box of Eggos. Not only will everyone get it, but it’s way cooler than the pink-dress version of Eleven that has been way overdone for the past few years. It also has the makings for a great group costume.
5. Where’s Waldo?
Do you have a red and white striped shirt? What about glasses? Then you can throw together a super easy Where’s Waldo costume. If you want to be an overachiever, get a matching beanie. You can even buy this cheap set from Amazon if you want to be extra about it. The nice thing about being Waldo for Halloween is it’s so recognizable and doesn’t require a bunch of makeup or styling. You can throw it on and be good to go. Plus, then you can photobomb random people’s pictures all night and be hilarious. I mean, that’s what I would do.
This is my favorite of the bunch. Just be dead. Literally dead. Not only do you get to wear a super comfy sweatshirt, but it’s so funny. I would pair it with a skirt and boots, and if you want to really go for it, do some ghostly dead girl makeup, too, complete with dark lipstick. Or you could just be like me and never, ever sleep. Then you’ll already have the dark circles and sunken-in look! Don’t forget the cold, dead look in your eyes that only comes from true exhaustion! Perfect!
Please post pics of your favorite last minute costumes in the comments!
Images: Hot Topic (2); Shop Betches (2); bangtsikitsiki / Instagram; Giphy (3)
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
Whether you’re still in college struggling to make it to your 8am, or a real adult struggling to make it to work on time, you’re probably no stranger to Franzia Wines. It’s the world’s most popular wine, and for good reason. Franzia is affordable, delicious, and comes in bulk quantity—what’s not to love? Because Franzia Wines has always been there for us when we needed them, they partnered with Shop Betches to make an exclusive collection…and it’s everything.
The Franzia collection has three items, so you can pick and choose what to buy for your friends as gifts, or just buy everything for yourself. Go crazy.
The first item in the collection is the Franny Pack, pictured above, which is a total must-have to hold all your darty essentials. It comes with a set of five custom Franzia pins, which I need ASAP. The pins look amaze on the fanny pack like in the picture, or you can use them on literally anything. Denim jacket? Perfect. Backpack? Yes. Wedding dress? Why not. The possibilities are endless.
The fanny pack is perfect for your phone/keys/wallet, but you also need a bag to carry your box of Franzia. We got you. We made a tote bag that is the exact right size for your Franz, and the best part is that there’s a HOLE IN THE SIDE FOR THE TAP. I didn’t design this, but whoever did is a literal genius. Thanks to the giant writing on the side, everyone will probably still know you’re carrying wine, but it’s honestly a great way to make friends at a party. Or don’t, I’m not judging.
The fanny pack and the tote are v important, but my favorite thing from the Franzia collection is probably the Franzia tee. Who doesn’t want to make their plain white t-shirt a little more exciting with some Franzia pouring into a pocket? It’s cute and funny AF, so you definitely need it.
Don’t miss your chance to shop our exclusive Shop Betches x Franzia Collection, so you can have all the Franzia stuff your heart desires.
This article is part of a paid partnership with Franzia Wines.
This weekend, the internet has been abuzz, talking about one of the biggest, most important crossover events in entertainment history. Unexpected relationships have emerged, there have been mind-bending plot twists, and someone might not make it out alive. Overall, the stakes have never felt higher. No, I’m not talking about Avengers: Endgame, I’m talking about the epic social media feud of 50 Cent vs. Lala Kent and Randall Emmett.
The feud first emerged out of nowhere on Friday, when 50 Cent posted a Vanderpump Rules clip on Instagram. In the video, Lala explains to Stassi how she met Randall and “let him hit it the first night,” and that after that he would buy her lots of expensive gifts. If you’re an avid VPR viewer, then this story isn’t new or shocking to you, but what does it have to do with 50 Cent? For a moment, I was excited to have another celeb on board with watching the greatest television show of our generation, but things turned dark very quickly.
50 Cent’s post and caption about sucking a dick for a Range Rover seemed random, but then Lala clapped back in the comments, in a way that made it clear there was something deeper going on here. To be honest, Lala rubs me the wrong way sometimes, but this is my favorite side of her. Can you imagine anyone else from this show going off on 50 Cent like this? Nope. Still, her clap back isn’t the best re: toxic masculinity, and she also quickly deleted her comment. I already have so many questions here, and we’re not even close to done.
Meanwhile, James and Stassi both sounded off in the comments of this post, but with very different messages. James basically indicated that he’s grabbing the popcorn to watch all of this go down, which seems like a really bitchy thing to do. He and Lala aren’t close like they used to be, but she’s really done nothing to deserve this treatment from him. On the other hand, Stassi stood by her girl Lala, which I respect.
After Lala’s clap back, I was wondering if we would hear any more about this, but then things just got more personal. 50 posted a screenshot of his texts with “Randell,” in which he is pleading with 50 to stop texting him and leave him alone. He says that his ex is f*cking with him, and that he’s going to the ER to make sure he’s not having a heart attack. Hi, yes, please stop the ride, I’d like to get off.
In the middle of Randall’s panicked text thread, we take a pause for one of this stories greatest comedic moments:
“I SAID I’M SORRY FOFTY.”
If you claim you didn’t snort with laughter when you first read that, I don’t believe you. To commemorate this moment, we even put it on a f*cking t-shirt. Cheers, betch.
In response, 50 Cent sent a paragraph in which he clarifies that Randall owes him a million dollars, and threatens to crack Randall’s head if he keeps playing with him. I said this was going to get dark, right? We have no way of knowing if Randall really does owe 50 all this money, but if he does, he should probably stop shelling out for Lala and the girls to take PJs to Solvang. Just a thought.
Another crucial plot point in the feud is buried in the caption of this photo, where 50 Cent tells Randall that he wants the rest of his money by Monday. Honestly, I’m nervous just reading about this sh*t, so I have to imagine that Randall has fled the country by now.
It doesn’t end there. Next, 50 Cent posted another screenshot in which he responds to Randall asking him to be in his wedding, and this part is honestly just a little pathetic. 50 is obviously not interesting in being in Randall’s wedding (can’t imagine why not), and he responds with one of my favorite lines ever: “Like I ain’t got sh*t else to do. Get the f*ck outta here.” To be fair, I’m not really sure what 50 Cent is up to these days, but clearly being a groomsman for Randall “My Man” Emmett is low on his list of priorities.
Aaaand another dollar in the Fofty Jar for Randall. Well done.
With his next post, 50 Cent deepened my concern that this could actually be headed to a very bad place. It’s sort of like a meme, except one that makes me genuinely concerned that 50 Cent is about to do something bad to Randall. 50 is always watching.
In his most recent couple of posts, 50 Cent has openly mocked Randall for saying he’s going to the ER, and he actually posted this photo of Rand with approximately 700 electrode things attached to his body.
I don’t know a lot about medicine or heart tests or anything like that, but is Randall okay?? I’m all for the drama and the memes that this whole situation has created, but I really don’t want Randall to have a heart attack. Fofty, please.
For now, we’re eagerly awaiting the next development in this already legendary feud, and we’re just mere hours away from the clock striking Monday. If you’re on the edge of your seat like me, now is the perfect time to cop a Money By Monday tee, because this sh*t is going down in history. This is possibly the first time I’ve ever been excited for a Monday, so literally anything is possible. Prayers for Randall, because Fofty doesn’t mess around.
UPDATE: Well, there’s more. We’re still waiting anxiously to see if Fofty will actually show up at Randall’s house to collect his pound of flesh, but things have not cooled down. As of now, it looks like the money Randall owes 50 Cent is debt from gambling. Basically, Randall likes playing poker, but isn’t very good at it. 50 Cent knows this, and lent Randall a lot of money to gamble with. This might seem like a poor choice, but it can be smart to lend money to a bad poker player, because they’ll keep losing, and they’ll just owe you more in the end. A few bad games, and all of a sudden Randall Emmett owes Fofty Cent a million dollars. Yikes.
Yesterday, while waiting for the infamous Monday to roll around, 50 Cent basically turned his Instagram into a meme page dedicated to this feud, and I could not be more here for it. He kicked things off with this screenshot of Randall’s freshly-edited Wikipedia page:
Sadly, Rand’s page has been fixed and is now protected from vandalism, but god damn this is funny. Then, because it’s 2019 on the internet, Chrissy Teigen got involved. She tweeted about how she never wants. 50 Cent to be mad at her, which like, same. But then, things got even better, because FOFTY RESPONDED.
While I’m still incredibly stressed about the situation with 50 Cent and Randall, it’s good to know that Chrissy and John are safe from the wrath of Fofty. I would say this is like something out of a fever dream I had, but honestly none of my dreams have ever been this weird.
50 Cent kept the memes coming, first with this t-shirt that’s not as cute as ours, but it did remind me about G-Unit. This whole story is wild, but the fact that I’m talking about G-Unit in 2019 is probably the most shocking thing thus far. After that, Fofty reposted a Game of Thrones meme, because even he knows the importance of the battle of Winterfell.
This caption might be the most menacing one he’s posted, which is saying a lot. Moving right along from Game of Thrones, 50 pivoted back to his original source material for this feud: Vanderpump Rules (a better show than GoT, there I said it). He posted the clip from earlier this season, when Lala and Rand were briefly broken up, and Lala is saying how there’s a lot of dick she could suck to get PJ flights from other men.
I just asked if we could make a shirt that says “BJ’s For New PJ’s,” but sadly I was turned down. Can’t imagine why. Fofty is implying that Randall is going to be broke after paying him a million dollars, which honestly might be true. It’s now officially Monday, and I’m on the edge of my seat to see what’s going to happen.
PS: Before I go, I need to dispel one piece of fake news that’s been going around. People have noticed that Lala and Randall aren’t following each other on Instagram, but this isn’t new. They’ve shared in the past that they both blocked each other on Insta at one point, so they haven’t followed each other in a long time. This is obviously weird, but their not following each other isn’t any indication of trouble at the moment.
Images: Shutterstock; @cbcbravo (2), @50cent (4) / Instagram; Shop Betches
When it comes to the world of phone accessories, Popsockets is one of the only companies making a product that is both affordable and a complete game-changer. I know I’m not the only one who would always have a completely shattered phone if it wasn’t for my trusty PopGrip stuck to the back. The good people at PopSockets have saved me from many costly trips to the Apple store, and now they’re giving back to the community, too.
With their new Poptivism program, PopSockets is partnering with us to bring you some betchy AF limited-edition designs, and every purchase helps a good cause. Through this program, we are proud to support the Lower East Side Girls Club. The LESGC is an amazing organization that works to break the cycle of poverty by training the next generation of ethical, entrepreneurial, and environmental leaders. Girls Club members overcome adversity, perceive opportunity, develop self-confidence, make ethical decisions and healthy life choices, thrive academically, embrace leadership, and have the ability to enter college or the workforce as fully prepared and connected adults. Basically, the LESGC is an amazing cause, and 50% of each limited-edition Betches grip purchase goes directly to support their work.
Supporting the Lower East Side Girls Club is a total no-brainer, and so are the four special PopGrip designs that we came up with just for you. You can get matching ones with your entire friend group, or buy one of each and assign them based on individual personalities. They’re the perfect accessory to help you get a grip andgive back, which is what really matters. They’re also only $15 each, so think about whether you’d rather have one overpriced cocktail, or buy something cool that will last a long time, and that also helps kids. Yeah, I thought so.
Click here to learn more about Betches x Poptivism and buy your limited-edition grip right now.
Listen, I get that you’re excited to start planning your wedding. Pinterest is filled with ideas that almost actually make it look like bossing all of your friends around managing a team of bridesmaids will be a fun experience, filled with script fonts and floral robes. While bridesmaids are typically treated like shit in movies and TV shows, it’s important to remember that these betches are (probably) your actual friends that you’re going to need favors from for the rest of your life. So like, it’s pretty important that you don’t mess it all up and make them hate you. Bridesmaids can totally ruin your wedding by getting engaged or showing up pregnant, so it’s probably within your best interest to keep them at least mildly satisfied. Here are a few things to avoid doing to your bridesmaids while you become a total bridezilla.
1. Propose To Them In A Non-Instagrammy Way
At the very least, your bridesmaids are going to feel obliged to take a photo of the box of random shit you’ve given them asking to be your personal slave for the next 423 days. If you’re lucky, and they don’t have much else going on in their personal lives, the photo may even make it onto the main grid. Do them a favor and give them good stuff to photograph. Nobody wants to see another boring box with a miniature bottle of Barefoot Bubbly Pink Moscato and a poorly executed DIY frame.
2. Make Them Wear Ugly Dresses
I mean, this is the most obvious point there is. If there’s a Katherine Heigl movie about it, it’s safe to assume it’s a cliche. Everyone knows bridesmaids have to wear fugly dresses so the bride doesn’t really need to compete with anyone. Don’t overdo it, though. Remember that it’s your wedding too, and although your college roommate may have a better body than you, the heinous wrap dress you’ll force her to wear will live in eternal memory through all of your wedding photos.
3. Bombard Them With Wedding Shit 24/7
There is a very finite amount of energy a bridesmaid can put into pretending to give a shit about helping you plan your wedding, so please keep that in mind. While some of your bridesmaids may be genuinely excited by the prospect of wedding planning in the beginning stages, this will fade as quickly if you don’t find a systematic way to enlist the help of your team of
minions friends. Try limiting wedding-related talk to set times, like brunch, or specific spaces, like a private Facebook group (which also has the potential to be pretty annoying, so be careful with that one).
4. Force Them To Look Like Idiots At The Bachelorette Party
If you’ve ever even been out in a public place that serves alcohol during the summer, you’ve probably seen a gaggle of bridesmaids in ugly tank tops that say stuff like “bride tribe” traipsing behind a betch dressed in all white. (Unrelated observation: at least one of them always has a Coach wristlet in hand. It’s probably an older cousin or sister, or a coworker that was recruited for her impeccable handwriting skills.) Anyway, take that Etsy shop out of your bookmarks and order one of our non-embarrassing Betchelorette tanks instead.
From left: Shop Betches I Said Yeahhh Buddy flowy tank; Shop Betches She Said Yeahhh Buddy flowy tank
5. Make Stuff Sound Like It’s Going To Be More Fun Than It Will Be
Your bridesmaids are not dogs that can be tricked into going to the vet with a treat. By that I mean, you need to stop acting like mimosas are the solution to everything. If you need your bridesmaids to help stuff and stamp your wedding invitations, don’t disguise the day as a Stuffing and Stamping Soiree. Cut the shit, provide drinks, and let them know that they’re probably going to leave with a few papercuts.
Images: Shutterstock; Giphy
Ugh, bachelorette parties are so tacky. Like, no offense, but nothing good ever came from a swarm of girls in cork sole wedges trying to navigate the cobblestone streets of Hoboken or Nashville. Bachelorette party tanks that say shit like “Bride tribe” and satin “Mrs. To Be” sashes are simply not an option if you’re looking to pull in solid likes and comments on your bachelorette party Instagram pics. Lucky for you, we’ve created a line of Betchelorette tanks that you’ll actually be obsessed with, because it’s all inspired by stuff you already love. You’re welcome.
If You’re Obsessed With ‘The Office’…
Opt for our “I said yesh” and “that’s what she said” tanks. If you don’t get the reference, you can go sit in the annex with Toby. Byeeeee.
From Left: Shop Betches I Said Yesh flowy tank; Shop betches That’s What She Said flowy tank
If You Can’t Get Enough Of ‘Jersey Shore’…
We’ll give you the green light for your Atlantic City bachelorette party IF (and only if), you wear the “I said yeahhh buddy” and “she said yeahhh buddy” tanks. Anything else will make you look like a dirty little hamster.
From left: Shop Betches I Said Yeahhh Buddy flowy tank; Shop Betches She Said Yeahhh Buddy flowy tank
If You Honestly, Personally Love ‘KUWTK’…
If you say “OKURR” in the Khloé voice, you have our permission to wear these tanks, provided your fiancé isn’t a cheating piece of shit. Sorry, still not over it. Either way, you’re basically telling the world you like to go through your fiancé’s phone, and that’s a power move.
From left: Shop Betches She Said Okurrrr flowy tank; Shop Betches I Said Okurrrr flowy tank
If You’re SUCH A …
I couldn’t help but wonder… if Charlotte met Trey on Hinge instead of in the middle of the street… would they have matched? Or would she have been stuck wading through a sea of Brooklyn baristas? Anyway, the “I said alrighty” and “she said alrighty” are perfect for the bridal parties of anyone who’s like, prob going to get divorced and marry a bald guy. I’m kidding. Kind of.
From left: Shop Betches She Said Alrighty flowy tank; Shop Betches I Said Alrighty flowy tank
If You Suck At Pop Culture References…
Maybe just fill up one of these tumblers and sip some prosecco until you’re drunk enough to pretend you’re in on the joke. One of your more pop culturally inclined friends can probably help you pick a nice emoji to use as a caption instead.
From left: Shop Betches Prosecc-Ho tumbler; Shop Betches Already Drunk tumbler; Shop Betches Feel The ‘Pagne tumbler
Images: Shop Betches (6)
It’s a beautiful time of year. The sun is shining, we can drink outside comfortably, and Mother’s Day is coming up. Since moms only get one day a year of celebration when they really deserve about 365, we as friends, daughters, nieces, granddaughters, whatever, need to make sure we are providing them with the perfect gifts. Flowers are nice, but putting some real thought behind a gift for the woman who birthed you (or any woman who birthed anyone, God bless), is nicer. No offense, but it’s true. So here’s a list of brands that we love and fully approve of for our Mother’s Day Gift Guide, and you know you can trust us.
For the mom who’s prepping for her retirement to Florida
If she’s going to be living on a beach, she needs to look hot. LaserAway is her one-stop-shop for laser hair removal, Coolsculpting, Botox, and like, a million other things. If you’re unfamiliar with Coolsculpting, it’s a non-invasive procedure that uses controlled cooling to freeze and eliminate unwanted fat cells. In as little as three weeks, the results will appear and she’ll basically have abs. Jealous? Get a treatment for yourself, too. Because we all know that even though looking fit is fun, the gym fucking sucks. LaserAway has a ton of locations and customers love it so much because they provide treatments that are driven by science, so you know it’s legit. “This stuff really works!” No, but actually it does. Plus they have discount offers like, all the time.
For the mom who deserves to feel like she sleeps in a hotel bed every night
A saint in the streets and a MILF in the sheets. Sorry, that was uncalled for. I deeply apologize. Riley Home has the softest and most beautiful bedding and bath sets and we cannot get over how much we love it all. With their simple but elegant bedding, you can take her room from blah to chic easily. You’ve been hearing her talk about how she wants to redecorate her room for years, right? This is the first step that will get her going and then she can shut up about it forever. Some of our favorite products include the Sateen Sheet Set, Hooded Waffle Robe, and Spa Towel Set.
For the mom who’s DRIPPIN
Okay, so you’ve definitely seen this on TV or at least heard about it. Betch goes out, betch makes bad choices, betch wakes up with a hangover so betch orders an IV drip to bring her back to life. Drip MediSpa is more than just a hangover cure, though. I mean that is the most amazing thing ever, but there are so many other drips on their menu. Yes, you order from a beautiful menu. For the expectant mom, they have a prenatal drip to help control all that nausea and exhaustion. And for the old AF mom (haha sorry, but it’s true) they have a “fountain of youth” drip. Sooo rejuvenating. Book her an IV drip and she will love you SO much! Unless she hates needles. In which case Drip has plenty of other things to offer, like skincare treatments.
For the mom who never learned how to use the in-house speaker system anyway
This will probs be easier for her. Fun fact, we bump music at Betches HQ from Sonos speakers and the neighbors are jealous because they think we’re partying 24/7 (we’re not… not partying 24/7). Their newest speaker, the Sonos One, is everything you could ever need in a music playing device. It has a voice-enabled smart speaker, the ability to stream from more than 80 services, and is compatible with our girl Alexa. Basically, mom is about to throw a house party. But yes, you’ll have to set it up for her.
For the mom who knew that charcoal was cool like, 2 years ago
Good for you, mom. Archipelago Botanicals has an ah-mazing collection of Charcoal Rose products, and they make it v easy for you by grouping them into cute gift sets. Buy your mom the Charcoal Rose candle so her powder room can smell like something other than her classic potpourri (get with the times, lady). Or she would looove the organic rose water, which is said to clean your pores and give you younger looking skin #vitality. We’re also obsessed with the Charcoal Rose Body Oil because our skin has been dry as fuck due to this horrendous weather (getting better now though, thank you for asking). Basically you can’t go wrong with anything from Archipelago so just like, have at it.
For the mom that deserves the world, so you’ll send her to a spa
You really can’t go wrong here. There’s nothing that says “you are a perfect human full of wisdom and unique matronly powers and you deserve to be served heaven on a platter” quite like a massage. Good news, Massage Envy is running a special Mother’s Day promotion from now through Mother’s Day. You can purchase $125 in gift cards for her and receive a FREE 60-min facial. Give the facial to her…or yourself, we’ll leave that up to you. You can also get her a membership to Massage Envy, which gives her a reason to make an appointment every month…because again, she deserves it.
For the mom who’s best friends with everyone at her salon
Mom, you’re embarrassing me. But at least your hair looks fab. And since she accepts nothing but the best when it comes to haircare, you should definitely introduce her to Seven. Their products are created by a team of stylists who wanted the perfect blends for their salon, so you know their stuff works. Our favorites include their Gazar Diamond Serum, Satara Texture Cream, and Satara Relax Serum. That was really hard to narrow down to just three, though. They have pretty much anything you could ever need to keep your hair in check, especially now that humidity is going to be a thing. No more dull hair, no more fly-aways, no more frizz.
For the mom who’s tried every anti-aging method and product in existence
Chill out, just use Algenist. This award-winning beauty brand has unlocked the secret powers of algae, one of the most nutrient-rich plants in the world, to create anti-aging products with clean and safe formulas. Science! Its natural and clean ingredients make Algenist’s products non-comedogenic, hypoallergenic, and they’re good for all skin types. So if your mom also happens to be a hippie betch…this is the stuff. Our favorites include their Complete Eye Renewal Balm, Sublime Defense Ultra Lightweight UV Defense Fluid (say that 5 times fast), and their Sublime Anti-Aging Blurring Moisturizer. And they have way more than just anti-aging stuff, they have legit everything to save your skin and you need to check it out.
For the mom who enjoys the simple things in life (and a good laugh)
Obviously we need to talk about our Mother’s Day cards from Shop Betches. Sometimes we have like, nothing left in our bank account and can’t afford a present, but that just means we have to step up our card game. It’s perfect because the hilarity of the card will balance out the heartfelt sappy note you leave for the most perfect mom. And if you have more than like $6 in your bank, your mom will litttterally die at our “Ask Your Father” hat.
Three Olives Rosé Vodka
For the mom who parties harder than you
She’s gonna be the baddest bitch on the block when she finds out about this. In case you somehow haven’t heard, Three Olives launched their newest vodka this April, and it is rosé flavored. You read that correctly. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that every mom in America loves rosé. And now she has something to whip out at dinner parties that get a little rowdy. Or at book club. Either one works. Also it’s pink (duh) so it will just look really pretty as a gift from you.
For the mom who wants to know what all the cool jams are
What’s the 411? Operator, patch me through to Fenty Beauty. That was so dweeby I’m sorry. Anyways…we all know that anything Rihanna touches turns to gold, and her beauty line is no exception. And for the trendy mom, we recommend going with Fenty all the way. Our faves include the Body Lava Body Luminizer to give mom that effortless glow, and the Universal Gloss Bomb which looks amazing on every betch.
For the mom who always has her shit together
Rude that you didn’t pass that trait down to me, but whatever. It’s no secret that we are ob-SESSED with Philosophy. Everything they make smells amazing, it all works great, and there are just so many options to choose from. All our homes are filled to capacity with Philosophy products because we can’t help ourselves. Our favorites for Mother’s Day include their Amazing Grace Candle, which makes your place smell like it’s filled with flowers from your non-existent boyfriend. Also loving their new Amazing Grace Ballet Rose fragrance. Their packaging is so pretty and light so it will look beauteous as a gift.