My plans for Thursday night were set in stone and secret. My roommate was out for the night, and I had the place to myself. I was to pour some red wine, turn down the lights, wrap myself in my Pete Davidson blanket, and sob to the finale of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. No one would know. How would they know?
My phone buzzed, and to my horror, it was my editor. In my most vulnerable state, she asked, “Do you have any thoughts on the end of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’?” I knew what I had to do. I’ve poked fun at Demi Lovato, David Dobrik, Chet Hanks, and Piers Morgan, and now my greatest challenge was ahead of me. The time has come for me to make fun of the Kardashians.
I’ve watched Keeping Up since Kim had her old nose, Scott dressed like a rich Republican, and Kylie’s preteen body matched mine—absolutely unimaginable today. I’d love to dismiss the famous family and shout “eat the rich,” but it’s the dolls we have to thank for oversized salads, athleisure, and vocal fry. Since 2007, they’ve taught us how to lie about our BBLs, snack without using our lips, and create Oreo centerpieces.
We have so many beautiful memories together. Remember when Kris slipped viagra in Caitlyn’s martini, but Rob drank it? Remember when Kim leaked Kourtney’s underage nudes and called the FBI? Remember when Kourtney pulled her baby out of her own vagina? Remember ‘Kim Kardashian Hollywood’ the game?
The Kardashians redefined culture, sparking conversations around the influencer economy and inspiring semester-long collegiate courses, but in the last few years, Keeping Up has lost its steam. Family feuds and cheating scandals aside, the Kardashians have become increasingly tight-lipped and selective about what they share on the show. As a result, the last few years of content have had all of us shouting, “go on, girl, give us nothing.”
It’s hard to say precisely where the enchantment wore off. It could be when they seemingly gave Kanye creative control, and all the confessionals turned beige. It could be when Kourtney and Scott broke up for good, giving him the green light to publicly date college freshmen. It could be when Khloé became the spokesperson for a migraine medication. It could have been last week, when the family of billionaires thanked Vrbo for sponsoring their Tahoe vacation. In the wake of the series finale, I’m most thankful to Vrbo for getting the f*ck out and letting me mourn in peace.
Admittedly, not everything borne of the Kardashian influence has made us better. We can thank the famous sisters for the newest iteration of the body image warfare we face today, waist trainer-induced asthma, and the exploitation of Black women’s aesthetics. I patiently await the impending collegiate study on American speech patterns before and after the Kardashian reign.
I’ll miss my guilty pleasure, but more importantly, I’ll miss the tea. Since the start, the Kardashians have used the show to speak on subjects that they usually wouldn’t in the media. It was on the show that we saw honest conversations about the Jordyn Woods cheating scandal, Kim’s near-death robbery experience in Paris, and Scott’s recent outing at a rehab facility. Last year, when the world watched Kanye melt down during his run for president, fans shamelessly hoped to watch the drama unfold on E! Kim’s decision not to discuss in detail the breakdown of her marriage on the show coupled with Kourtney’s growing privacy concerns meant the end of an era for pop culture. Khloé Kardashian, the world’s original favorite, can’t carry the show with just her photoshop scandals and tendency to be cheated on for sport.
As E! closes the book on our Royal Family, I can admit that my relationship with the show has had legitimate effects on my perception of reality. I once pinned a photo of Kim’s engagement ring to my secret Pinterest board, as if the ring that fueled a five-person armed robbery would ever sit on my finger. (Don’t ever speak of the Pinterest board again.) I once saw the annual Christmas Eve party photos and took note of their event planner’s name as I sat in my fifth-floor walk-up apartment I shared with a mouse. (Her name is Mindy Weiss.) I’ve purchased Kylie Lip Kits, Skims underwear, and fake Yeezy sweatshirts. I’ve given the dolls fourteen years of my life, and last night I said farewell and “ABCDEFG.”
After a decade and a half, here’s where we left the sisters. (Of course, you won’t miss them too much. By the end of this article, your social algorithm will surely send a Kardashian to the top of your feed.)
Kim learned that she failed her second attempt at the baby bar—granted, she did take the hours-long exam with a case of COVID and a failing marriage. Her new goal? Finding her happiness and a partner who can stand to live in the same state as her.
Kourtney and Scott will continue their co-parenting journey, pretending to eye-roll when people suggest they hook up. Immediately following shooting, Kourtney slipped into her fishnets and tattooed “poosh” onto Travis Barker’s shaft.
Khloé is building a house in Boston, where she will live with Tristan and True when the family is not in LA. Her and True’s pharmaceutical ad aired during the commercial break, and after a long and winding road, she ended up where she started: brunette.
Keeping Up With The Kardashians ushered in a new era of reality television. The family changed the face of pop culture forever, giving many of us weekly routines, careers, and reasons to live. So, with heavy hearts and improved self-esteem, we close with scripture.
“Maybe if you HAD a fucking business that you were passionate about, then you would know what it takes to run a fucking business, but you DON’T.” – KKW 15:1
Image: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Waking up in America this morning, it was like a new day had dawned. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the Senate was flipped, and most importantly, we’re finally living in a post-Kimye society. Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. On Tuesday evening, Page Six reported via multiple sources that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are breaking up, and that Kim is planning to file for divorce.
This news obviously spread like wildfire, but as of now we haven’t gotten any official confirmation. With a story like this, there’s a 50/50 chance that the “multiple sources” are Kris Jenner and Kris Jenner’s other phone, but this could also be a completely false story to promote like, the new Kardashian shows on Hulu or whatever. Only time will tell, but there are certainly factors that would make this one of the least surprising things that could happen. We’ve discussed some of the trouble signs in their relationship before, but now that it looks like we really might be at the end of the Yeezy Brick Road, let’s look at where it all went wrong.
Kim’s Style
One thing that everyone knows about Kanye’s relationship with Kim is that he basically overhauled her personal style. In 2018, Kim said at a Business of Fashion panel, “I always thought I had really good style until I met my husband and he told me that I had the worst style.” She recounted how, early in their relationship, he cleaned out her closet, and she recalled, “I probably had 250 pairs of shoes and when we were done cleaning it out, I had two pairs left and I cried.” Hear that? That’s toxic energy. It’s totally normal for your style to be influenced by the people around you, but throwing away all of your shoes because a man told you to is completely different.
And this wasn’t just one-time thing. In an episode of KUWTK from 2018, Kim said that Kanye was policing her sunglass habits, telling her in an email “you cannot wear big glasses anymore. It’s all about tiny little glasses.” In a 2019 episode of the show, Kanye criticized Kim’s photo poses, saying “You are my wife and it affects me when pictures are too sexy.” While Kim insisted that Kanye always gave her “the freedom to be and do what I want,” some of the actual evidence from their relationship suggests otherwise. It’s one thing to value your partner’s input, but this style stuff is some controlling bullsh*t, and it’s only a matter of time before someone doesn’t want to put up with that anymore.
Wyoming
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Let’s be real: Kim Kardashian has no desire to live in Wyoming. She’s a Calabasas queen through and through, and the thought of her leaving behind her entire world in LA to live full-time (or even most of the time) at the ranch seems unfathomable. Kanye, on the other hand, seems to thrive in the relative isolation of the Cowboy State, and according to Page Six, this physical distance between them is by design. Kanye reportedly spent the holidays in Wyoming rather than with his family, and the source says “Kim got Kanye to go up there so they could live separate lives and quietly get things sorted out to separate and divorce.” It seems kind of sh*tty that Kanye likely didn’t get to see his kids over the holidays, but the California/Wyoming divide would be an easy way to keep unpleasant interactions to a minimum during a separation period.
Kanye’s Presidential Campaign
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) July 5, 2020
It’s barely been six months since Kanye West announced his 2020 campaign for President, but already it feels like some kind of distant fever dream. While Kanye spent the latter half of 2020 halfheartedly selling his soul for what ended up amounting to 70,000 votes, Kim seemed to ignore her husband’s campaign almost entirely. Other than quoting Kanye’s initial announcement tweet with an American flag emoji—a vague endorsement at best—Kim never spoke publicly about the campaign or used her platform to show any kind of support. It’s not a novel concept for couples to have political disagreements, but to spend five months pretending your spouse’s Presidential campaign doesn’t exist isn’t your average dinner table argument. If Kim was already growing tired of Kanye’s often outlandish behavior, it seems likely that the campaign could have been one of the final straws.
Kim’s Birthday Trip
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Kim’s much-maligned 40th birthday trip is another recent-ish event that already feels like ancient history. Leaving aside all of the questionable COVID precautions and tone-deaf photos, let’s talk about Kanye’s involvement in the trip. According to the Page Six report, Kanye almost didn’t come on the trip, and ultimately only attended for one day: “He showed up late and left early, he wouldn’t appear in any of their Instagram shots. All he did was bring over the hologram of her father, Robert Kardashian, then got out of there as fast as he could.” As much as Kim claimed to like the hologram, everyone else thought it was creepy, and it’s kind of hilarious that Kanye thought that would make up for him missing the entire trip.
That Terrifying House
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We’ve all seen Kim and Kanye’s weird white monastery-looking house that became the inspiration for a million memes. While Kim has gushed about the house publicly, it’s always seemed like their extensive renovations—estimated at $20 million—were mainly a passion project for Kanye. Last year, Kim told Architectural Digest that she thought the home was already “perfection” when they first saw it pre-renovation, but Kanye thought it was merely “workable,” and completely transformed it according to his minimalist vision.
I have my doubts about how much Kim actually loves the aesthetic of her home currently, but either way, Page Six‘s sources say that she’ll want to keep the property in a potential divorce. Interestingly, Kim owns the land surrounding the house, as well as the lots next door (because why not), but Kanye owns the building itself, so things could get messy if they both try to hang onto the home.
Whatever divorce may or may not be happening, we’re definitely still early in the timeline here. The second any paperwork is filed, it would be public record, and you already know TMZ and Page Six have people on standby to comb through every paragraph for potential tidbits of information. Hopefully we’ll get some more concrete information in the coming days, but honestly, I feel in my bones that there’s some truth to this story. We’ve all seen it coming to a certain degree, and where there’s this much smoke, there’s almost always a fire.
Images: Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com; Giphy; kimkardashian / Instagram
If you’re familiar with our Photoshop Fail series, or really just if you ever go on Instagram, you’re probably familiar with the time-honored Kardashian tradition of Facetuning the sh*t out of all their pictures. From slimming their waists to stretching their legs, the Kardashian-Jenners have used every editing trick in the book to convince us that they look like completely different people. And out of this whole over-smoothed family, Khloé Kardashian is the Facetune warrior at the forefront of face-changing technology.
The problem is, Khloé clearly doesn’t know where to stop when it comes to editing her photos. Over the last six months of quarantine and social distancing, we’ve all found new ways to keep our minds occupied, and lucky for us, Khloé has provided our brains with a fun logic puzzle: struggling to recognize her in every single photo she posts. This year, she’s taken the photo editing to a whole new level, so much so that when this photo popped up on my explore page last week, I actually did a double take before realizing who it was.
Yes friends, that is Khloé Kardashian, from the shoot for her new collaboration with Ipsy. I don’t know what kind of editing software they used here, but it looks like she went through some bizarre algorithm that’s supposed to make you look like Beyoncé and Ariana Grande at the same time. Who is this woman, and how did we get here?? Let’s take a walk down memory lane—or at least back to May of this year.
When Khloé posted this set of photos, the internet reaction was intense, with many people proclaiming that Khloé had gotten a “new face” in quarantine, and others pointing out anomalies like the mysteriously missing necklace chain, her eyes being too large (and uneven), her massive, extremely white teeth, and her signature beauty mark not being visible.
I always suspected that there was more editing going on here than plastic surgery, and the other shoe dropped in August, when Khloé was shown in a KUWTK confessional interview from the same day. Same outfit, same hair and makeup, but her face looks almost completely different. So, for all the guesses about her quarantine procedures, it turns out Khloé just edited the f*ck out of her photos, as usual. Did she not realize we were all going to see a video that would expose the editing?
But while her photo from May was one of the more viral instances of Khloé’s photo editing addiction, it’s far from the only face she’s introduced us to on the ‘Gram. Last September, she posted this photo that honestly makes me physically uncomfortable to look at. Not only is her skin way too smooth, but her eyes are a telltale sign of too much Facetune. No one’s eyes look like that. The whites are way too white, and the irises look like they’re glowing from the inside. Idk why people insist on doing this, because it looks unnatural AF.
In February of this year, Khloé switched things up again with this overly edited shot featuring her in a denim bodysuit and bob haircut. Her makeup looks flawless, which is probably mostly real, but KoKo’s face is just not that symmetrical, and her jaw is not that sharp. We all have eyes!
This example from August is an interesting one, because it’s a pic of Khloé with True. Thankfully, Khloé didn’t Facetune her toddler, but she was up to all her usual tricks when it came to her own appearance. It’s a grainy selfie, but she definitely still smoothed her face and enlarged her eyes. But more importantly than the technical breakdown, she just doesn’t look like herself. That’s the problem with Khloé’s Facetune usage—it’s one thing if you edit all your pictures to look like the same version of yourself. But something is wrong when I have to double check every single time that it’s actually Khloé.
And just last weekend, Khloé kept us guessing once more, with these photos featuring her in latex pants and a printed corset. She looks amazing, except for the fact that her face has been remixed yet again. She looks extra tan like in her Ipsy photo shoot, but gone are the high cheekbones and eye shape that made her look like a completely different person. In this post, she actually included videos from the shoot, which would normally be a Facetune giveaway, but there’s clearly a heavy filter over the video, so Khloé may actually be getting smarter about her tactics.
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Man this heat wave is intense!! Isn’t it October??? Lex, This ones for you 😉
The wild thing about all this is that at the end of the day, I don’t even think Khloé Kardashian has had much plastic surgery done. I’m sure she’s played around with fillers, and maybe some light procedures here and there, but for all the fuss about her getting a “new face” every couple of months, it really all comes down to editing. The issue is, we all see Khloé on TV and in photos that haven’t gone through her editing process, so she’s not actually fooling anyone! But still, I’m excited to see what new and interesting editing tactics she can come up with next.
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Images: Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Abyss By Abby; khloekardashian, Ipsy / Instagram
Welp… never thought we’d be adding “Keeping Up With The Kardashians gets canned” to our 2020 Bingo card, but here we are. Yesterday’s news that the famous family’s 14-year, 20-season-long (and like, 12-season-TOO-long) series would finally be ending came as anything but a surprise. Kim was first to drop the bomb on Instagram, basically telling fans that even they were sick of keeping up with themselves.
Kim thanked her fans in a lengthy message that could have easily been said in one sentence. She mentioned the global success that resulted from the show, including the spin-offs that brought us the Rob & Chyna content nobody asked for, and Scott’s fake attempt at actually doing manual labor by flipping houses.
Oh, and she also dropped this gem, saying, “Without Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I wouldn’t be where I am today,” which we (and by “we” I mean Ray J) all know couldn’t be further from the truth. But speaking of Kris Jenner, who exploited her daughter for fame by way of Kim’s very viral sex tape (genius move, tbh), the show’s cancelation sparked a wave of concern as to what the momager-slash-marketing-puppeteer will cook up next considering this big announcement is prob just part of the next major business scheme.
What if this announcement that KUWTK is getting canceled is just a publicity stunt for their new spin-off pic.twitter.com/b8ApV9nteZ
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) September 9, 2020
While previously spending her time hiding pregnancies, plotting family feuds and selling her kids’ sex tapes, Kris’ schedule just opened wide up, so, like, what now?
Here are some of our theories that you also didn’t ask for:
She’s Becoming A Real Housewife
No joke, I’ve been manifesting Kris’ permanent spot on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for the past 24 hours. This is actually a legit rumor going around that Kris is set to take her place as Bravo’s newest housewife of Beverly Hills, and fans are here for it.
#KUWTK is Kanceled? Kris is already plotting her comeback #RHOBH pic.twitter.com/YaB0x3iLCr
— Queens of Bravo (@queensofbravo) September 8, 2020
Since we watched Kris’s talk show flop right before our eyes, we know she won’t be taking after Kelly Clarkson any time soon. So consider her cameo on the show earlier this year, when she attended good friend Kyle Richards’ benefit party, her audition.
I can just see her intro tagline now…
She’s Managing Addison Rae
40-something-year-old Kourtney Kardashian and 19-year-old TikTok star Addison Rae’s friendship will forever live rent-free in my mind, because… how? Addison started hanging out with Kourtney because her son Mason was a big fan, but Kris Jenner came in and was all, “Hold my Tito’s.”
The fact that the Kardashians have begun conquering the TikTok world, using Addison as their gateway, is a sheer genius tactic that only Kris Jenner is capable of crafting. By being taken under Kourtney’s wing, Addison is exposed to even more fame, which is the perfect opp for Kris to benefit from Addison’s success… all while Mason’s friends taunt him with hot TikTok videos of his mom.
It’s a win-win, really.
She’s Producing Another Spin-off
Not gonna lie, “Keeping Up With The Kousins” has a pretty solid ring to it. Now that an entire army of Kardashian offspring has been created, this is Kris’s chance to document Mason’s booming TikTok career, North taking over the Sunday Service biz, and Dream’s life-altering decision to become emancipated from Blac Chyna. (Just spitballing some potential storylines.)
It might take some heavy convincing to get baby-less Kendall on board, but just imagine her future baby announcement segueing into the series premiere…
She’s Kanye’s Campaign Manager
I know our country is the saggy butt of a running joke and all, but how else do you think Kanye was able to secure a spot on the 2020 Presidential Election ballot in like, four states without some mastermind trickery and a deal with the devil? And who else do you think is brokering those deals between Satan, hmm?
Since Kanye’s smartest move to date has been un-endorsing Donald Trump, Kris has been secretly hustling the newfound “Birthday Party” in an effort to put an end to America’s two-party system, which would be her second most impressive accomplishment to date.
She’s Working On The Coronavirus Vaccine
Not to start rumors or anything, but it wouldn’t totally surprise me if Kris was part of a global vaccine scheme that contributed to the world domination of all humankind.
K, this is a stretch, but it’s true what they say: “The devil works hard, but…” you know the rest.
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Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
On Tuesday, the Kardashian-Jenner family announced that, after 14 years and 20 seasons, Keeping Up With The Kardashians is coming to an end. Obviously, this is great news for some and heartbreaking news for others, but no matter how you feel about this family, it’s a big deal. The Kardashians are some of the most famous people on the planet—in total, the family has more than 850 million followers on Instagram—and through their show, they’ve brought us some of the most iconic pop culture moments of the last decade. Will you ever forget about the time Kim lost her diamond earring in the ocean? I, for one, will not.
So, how do we go about wrapping our minds around the Kardashian legacy? Of course, they’ve amassed tons of money and fame, and we’ve gotten some high-quality reality television, but Keeping Up With The Kardashians has had a massive impact in so many areas. As a way of looking back, here are all the ways our world might be different if Kim hadn’t made that sex tape, and E! had never taken a chance on this messy AF family.
I Would Only Be Able To Name Like, One NBA Player
I’m well aware that millions of people follow basketball religiously, but I am not one of those people, and I’m guessing most of you reading this aren’t, either. Through their dating patterns, the Kardashian-Jenner sisters have done a ton of work for NBA player awareness. I may not know anything about Lamar or Tristan’s stats on the court, but I know exactly how they betrayed Khloé, and I think that’s what really counts. Likewise, Kris Humphries will always just be that guy who Kim K was married to for 72 days. I love sports!
We Wouldn’t Have To Deal With Foodgod
The Kardashians already have a huge family, but over the years, they’ve introduced us to a whole cast of supporting characters on KUWTK and its spin-offs. While some of them are great additions (Scott, Malika), and others are just an average level of thirsty (Larsa, Stassie), there’s one who transcends his friend-of status and has become a true menace to society: Jonathan Cheban. From his desert-level thirst on camera to his beyond-obnoxious Foodgod persona on social media, Jonathan truly is all of our sleep paralysis demon. I’ve been blocked by Foodgod on Instagram and Twitter for years, which was actually a blissful period, but recently I’ve discovered his TikToks, and reader, I have not slept in weeks.
Jordyn Woods Would Be A Total Rando
Speaking of supporting players that KUWTK brought into our lives, remember Jordyn Woods?? When the whole Tristan and Jordyn mess went down last year (yes, that was only last year), the only reason it became such a huge deal was because Jordyn was Kylie’s BEST friend, and we watched them together on the show for years. And in 2017, when Kylie got her short-lived spin-off Life of Kylie, Jordyn was basically the second lead character. At the time, people joked about Jordyn being broke without Kylie’s friendship, but with plenty of fame and 11 million Instagram followers, she’s doing just fine—she just starred in a viral music video! She paid her dues at the Kardashian Institute of Best Friendship, and now she can basically do whatever she wants for the rest of her life. Happy for her!
Fit Tea & Facetune Might Not Exist
Okay, so that’s probably a little extreme—I’m sure if it wasn’t the Kardashians, someone else would have come along to promote unrealistic beauty standards and sow the seeds of body dysmorphia. BUT there’s no denying that the Kardashians have done an excellent (and by excellent, I mean terrible) job of this in recent years. The Kardashians have consistently caused controversy for their endorsement of products like appetite suppressant lollipops and waist trainers, as well as photo editing that toes the line between Photoshop and straight-up CGI. While their show is ending, it’s not like their Instagram accounts are being taken away, and I’m sure Khloé will continue to have a different face in every post. It almost feels normal at this point, which is pretty scary when you think about it. This must be a great day for Jameela Jamil.
We Wouldn’t Have Some Iconic Phrases
Even if you’ve never watched an episode of KUWTK (as some of my friends have recently confessed to me), chances are you’re still familiar with some of their oft-quoted lines. My personal favorite to throw into everyday conversation is probably “don’t be f*cking rude,” but there are many to choose from. If your best friend’s man is being shady? “This is a case for the FBI.” If you cook more than one meal for yourself in a week? “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” And if your annoying aunt is complaining on Facebook about wearing a mask in JoAnn Fabrics? “Kim, there’s people that are dying.” All in all, the quotes are probably KUWTK’s most positive legacy.
Contouring Might Not Be As Popular
Look, the Kardashians obviously did not invent contouring. Drag queens have been doing this sh*t forever, and it’s far from the only thing that Kim and her fam have appropriated and put their own branding on—but that’s a different topic for a different day. But still, it seems unlikely that contouring would have become such a mainstream beauty technique if it wasn’t for Kim Kardashian. Hate the girl all you want, but her makeup always looks flawless!
Okay, so looking back on it, maybe it’s time for Keeping Up With The Kardashians to go. All good things must come to an end, and it’s clearly debatable whether this show was actually good. I’ll always cherish the memories of Kim hitting Khloé with a purse, and digging her fingernails into Kourtney’s back, and getting divorced after 72 days, but it’s time for them to hang it up. Who knows what’s next for this big f*cked up family, but they can put KUWTK to rest knowing that it literally changed the world.
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Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
Another day, another indication that 2020 might really be the year that civilization comes crumbling down. This time, I’m not referring to frightening coronavirus statistics or the slump in the economy, but rather the news that Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are apparently back together. Questions about a possible reconciliation have been lingering for a while, considering that Tristan has basically been quarantining with Khloé and their daughter True for most of the pandemic, and it looks like those fears questions have finally been confirmed.
Khloé and Tristan officially called it quits in early 2019, in the fallout of Jordyn Woods-gate. We may never truly know what happened between Jordyn and Tristan that night, but regardless, it was some shady sh*t that Khloé was not down with. Over the last year, she and Tristan worked on their coparenting relationship, and on the most recent season of KUWTK, Khloé struggled with her feelings about spending more time around Tristan again. Well, apparently a global pandemic makes the heart grow fonder, and according to an Us Weekly source, these two are officially back on.
The source says Khloé is “hopeful that Tristan has changed for good and will continue to grow and be the great and loyal partner that he has been throughout their time together during the quarantine.” You know, I really hope that works out for her, I do. Does that seem realistic? Who knows, maybe! 2020 is the year to expect the unexpected, so maybe Tristan really can change his ways.
The source continues, “The fact that Tristan hasn’t been working or been able to hang out with his friends and other athletes who have previously been a negative influence on him like he used to has been great for their relationship.” Aaaaand that’s what I was worried about. Tristan scored some extra time at home due to his sh*tty Cleveland Cavaliers team not making the NBA Playoffs Bubble, but what happens when next season starts? Even though people are still finding ways to cheat during the pandemic, I don’t think Tristan deserves a medal for not screwing around on Khloé for a few months.
Due to Tristan playing for Cleveland, he and Khloé have been forced to deal with long distance for most of their time together, and it’s no secret that Tristan would into trouble when Khloé wasn’t around. Who could forget the time when a video of him with another woman went viral just DAYS before Khloé gave birth to his daughter? I, for one, will never be over it. Combine that with the Jordyn incident, and other transgressions that we probably don’t know about, and he doesn’t have the best track record.
Of course, past behavior is not always predictive of future outcomes, and Khloé is an adult who can do whatever she wants. Plus, according to another source, she has her own motives for reconciling with Tristan: “Khloé would love to give daughter True a sibling because she is at the perfect age.” That actually makes a ton of sense, considering that it’s pretty much exactly what Kourtney did with Scott. A few months ago, Khloé shot down rumors that she was pregnant again, but a lot can happen in three months of 2020. If Khloé really just wants another baby out of this, then she should make that happen, but I just want the best for her, which includes not getting played again.
Images: Jerritt Clark/Getty Images for Remy Martin
Most of us are nearing the three-month mark on social distancing, and I don’t think I’m the only one who feels like I’m running out of things to watch. I’ve watched too much Real Housewives, season three of Succession is nowhere in sight, and I refuse to watch Game of Thrones, so stop telling me how great it is. But lucky for us, Quibi is still pumping out the new content, and their new show Kirby Jenner might be the best one yet.
For those who are unaware, Kirby Jenner is Kendall Jenner’s long-lost twin brother. Until now, he’s mainly been known for his iconic Instagram account, featuring pictures of him and his famous fam at the Met Gala, the grocery store, and on the cover of Vogue, just to name a few. But now Kirby is stepping into the spotlight, and finally getting into the family business of reality TV.
Obviously, we know pretty much everything about the rest of his famous family, but Kirby Jenner has always been a mystery. I wanted to know more, so I interviewed Kirby ahead of the premiere of his new show. I got a glimpse into the behind-the-scenes of his life and his show, and if anything, he’s even more of a mystery now.
Kirby’s show is executive produced by Kendall and Kris Jenner, and it turns out the whole thing was Kris’ idea. No surprise, considering she’s the best momager in the world. Here’s what Kirby had to say about how the show came to be:
“This show was actually kind of my mom’s idea. She mentioned something about a guy named Quibi and how he wants to do a reality show with me… and I was immediately like ‘Whoa. There’s a man named Quibi? What a cool name!’ and she paused (for a long while actually) and was like, ‘No… the network is called Quibi. The man’s name is Jeffrey Katzenberg.’ And I was like, ‘Hmm ok. I don’t know who that is.’ And then she was like ‘Ok. It doesn’t matter.’ So, I Google Jeffrey Katzenberg and realized he was the guy who made freakin Shrek and I was like, ‘Mom. Holy shit. Do you know this guy made freakin Shrek?! Fact: Shrek is like straight up one of the best movies of all time.’ And then my mom was like, ‘Please stop talking. I already signed the deal.’ SO… a month later I was shooting my show and it’s honestly been pretty fun!”
I feel like you know it’s going to be good when the guy who did freakin Shrek is involved. While the show is mostly about Kirby, the entire family gets in on the action, and Kirby says that doing the show has brought him much closer to his siblings. Before, he was never part of the reality TV aspect of his family, but he says, “After doing my show, it seems like Kimberly wants to hang out more and I’m allowed to look Kanye in the eyes which is a really cool privilege.” Honestly, I would be scared to look Kanye in the eyes, so good for Kirby. He adds, “Oh, and I’m also now invited to Mom’s Sunday dinners which is awesome… except for the parking. The parking SUCKS but the food is impeccable.” This is important information, because if I’m ever invited to Kris Jenner’s house, I’ll remember to take an Uber.
The hilarious (and REAL) show gives us an exciting glimpse into Kirby’s life, from his many business ventures—he’s currently “developing a one-man magic and rollerblading stage show”—to his love life. And speaking of his love life, things seem pretty complicated. For starters, he has a stalker. She’s none other than iconic actress Beverly D’Angelo, and while Kirby seems to have a love/hate relationship with her, he says he’s not “legally allowed to talk about this.” But aside from his sexual tension with Bev, pretty much every model wants him. In this exclusive clip, we see him basically fighting off Heidi Klum’s advances:
So, Kirby Jenner kind of has it all. Business ideas, a long list of suitors, and the perfect quarantine spot. He tells us he’s been “quarantining in Kylie’s back house or ‘mother in law unit’ as they call it on HGTV. I’m pretty sure she has no idea I’m back here tbh. Her house is freakin enormous.” Kirby says he’s been passing the time by watching a lot of 90-Day Fiancé and learning to play the flugelhorn, which sounds about right.
Kirby Jenner is now streaming on Quibi, and it might just be my favorite Quibi show yet. Sorry, Chrissy Teigen, but I just can’t quit the Kardashians.
Images: Quibi; Quibi / YouTube
Even if you’re a dedicated follower of all things Kardashian, let’s be real, you probably don’t watch every single episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I’m convinced nobody does. It’s a lot to follow, and honestly, the show isn’t that interesting a lot of the time. But if you haven’t been ~keeping up~ with KUWTK lately, you’ve actually been missing some major drama in America’s first family. Season 17 of KUWTK wrapped up on Sunday night, and the last couple episodes have seen Kourtney Kardashian feuding with her sisters in a way that feels different from past disagreements—and she may even leave the show because of it.
Starting last year, there was a lot of tension in Kourtney’s relationships with Kim and Khloé. I mean, who could forget the iconic scene when Kim called Kourtney “the least exciting to look at”? I aspire to be this shady, even towards my own siblings. There was also the time that Kourtney fully ignored Kim while she was talking about her baby shower, and then talked sh*t about Khloé’s furniture covers. Or the time when she passive-aggressively planned a trip with her kids so she wouldn’t be home for Christmas. Basically, Kourtney was not in the mood for family time for like, all of 2018 (same, girl), and it hasn’t gotten better since then.
This season, Kourtney has opened up about wanting to dedicate her time to being a mom, and being less into sharing her personal life on camera than she used to. Suffice it to say, Kim and Khloé haven’t been super happy about this. A couple episodes ago, they confronted Kourt about having too many boundaries, saying that it’s unfair that she won’t be open about her relationships in front of the cameras. Kim said that “all of the days that Kourtney isn’t filming, Khloé and I are picking up the slack and having to share more.” When Kourt said that her being open about her anxiety made up for not talking about her relationships, Khloé called bullsh*t, saying that the topic just came up naturally when they were already filming.
This conflict between the sisters has led to some of the most entertaining KUWTK moments in a long time, and I’m excited that they’re breaking the fourth wall in this way. These women are so famous that it doesn’t feel genuine to just watch them act like normal people on camera, so getting more of the behind the scenes drama is exactly what the show needs. After that argument went down, Kim apparently threatened to fire Kourtney over FaceTime, which I didn’t realize was a thing she could do. According to People sources, Kim doesn’t actually have firing power on the show, but I have a feeling she could make it happen if she pulled the right strings (aka asked her mom). You know she has Ryan Seacrest on speed dial for the day when Kourtney really does something to piss her off, and at this point, it’s only a matter of time.
Regardless of whether you’re Team Kourt or not, Kim and Khloé’s point about being open isn’t wrong. Their whole show is built on them airing their sh*t out for the world to see, and without the drama of their personal lives, they wouldn’t have made it to season 17. While we’ve watched Khloé experience heartbreak after heartbreak with multiple different partners, and Kim has basically forced Kanye to be on the show, Kourtney hasn’t really shown us anything about her relationships with Younes or anyone else. Khloé tweeted about this, clarifying that she’s fine with having some boundaries, but you have to be willing to really go there and be “present” with what you do choose to share. In an episode this season, Kim also said she feels like Kourtney has been “coasting” through filming, while she and Khloé carry most of the load. If they’re really all getting paid the same amount, that’s not super fair. However, I struggle to muster up much sympathy for any of these women, considering none of them need any of the money they get from filming.
If we all started concealing major areas of our life then what would there be to film? I’m completely OK with people having boundaries but you have to be present in the areas you’re willing to share #KUWTK
— Khloé (@khloekardashian) December 9, 2019
Over the last couple episodes of this season, Kourtney has talked about her desire to take a step back from the show, and honestly, I think that would be a good idea for her. If she really doesn’t want to put her personal life on camera, then the logical decision would be to take a break from being the star of a reality show. At the very least, she could take on a reduced role, so she could still be around, but wouldn’t be expected to bring the main storylines to the table. To me, this situation is similar to Lisa Vanderpump’s on the last season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills—she didn’t want to be there anymore, so it was time for her to go. These shows are always the most entertaining when everyone is bringing their A-game, and if Kourt isn’t prepared to do that right now, then she should leave. Do you think they would demote Kourtney to “friend of”?
So that’s all well and good, but do we actually think Kourtney will leave Keeping Up behind? Not really. Assuming Kim isn’t going to actually get Kourtney fired, I have a really hard time believing she will willingly turn her back on the vehicle that made her so successful in the first place. Of course she’s not starved for cash or anything, but she doesn’t have other major projects like her sisters do. And no, I didn’t forget about Poosh, I just don’t think running a glorified blog is the same as a billion-dollar cosmetics brand. Kourt might be more forceful about her boundaries, or stop filming with Kim for a while, but she’s not actually going anywhere.
Images: E! Entertainment / YouTube; khloekardashian / Twitter
