Sex is all about vulnerability. Being naked in front of someone, trusting someone with your body, and putting yourself in situations can be, let’s be honest, awkward AF. And this isn’t just the case for when you’re actually doing the deed. Sometimes just talking about sex (even with someone you’re actually doing it with) is uncomfortable. So it’s not hard to imagine that for some people, the idea of talking dirty sounds like a nightmare.
Even if you’re the horniest person on the planet, that doesn’t always translate into being great at dirty talk. When you break it down, talking dirty is essentially an art form and you want to be a sexy little artist. Although there’s no exact blueprint for this stuff (all sex shouldn’t be the same!) there are certain conversations and topics that you can bring up that’ll not only make you feel less anxious about talking dirty with your partner, but also do a fantastic job of getting you both super psyched to rip each other’s clothes off. The most important thing is that you’re willing to step just a little bit outside of your comfort zone.
Here are some sexy talk topics for horny introverts with social anxiety. Just remember not to read it directly off the page when you’re doing it.
Dirty Talk Ideas To Set The Mood
What you’re wearing
Starting off super simple, if you wear something sexy or something you know your partner likes, bringing it up in conversation can get things heated — and fast. Asking them if they like the way your clothes hug your body or their favorite color looks good on you will make both of your pulses quicken.
What do you want to do to them?
A surefire way to get things hot is to bring it back to the basics and describe what you want to do to your partner. Where would you kiss them? How would you touch them? While it can be intimidating to get this conversation started, just tap into how you like getting intimate with them and describe it. It doesn’t even have to be super in-your-face, your dirty talk can be just as effective with simple things like “I want to kiss you from your neck and work my way to your ear.”
What do you want them to do to you?
In the same vein, telling your partner how you want them to touch you can also help you get more comfortable with dirty talk. Simple “I like it when you…” statements can get you both into the mood. Plus, your partner will probably learn a bit more about what to do to you, so win-win.
The last time you got it on
Was the last time you and your partner had sex incredibly sexy? Describe it. Talk about what you loved and how when they touched you in a certain way, it drove you crazy. I love using past sexual encounters as dirty talk because you two already experienced just how sexy and arousing it was, so you don’t have to use much imagination. This is extra effective if you can describe small, subtle things your partner did that made a huge difference during sex.
Your biggest sexual fantasies
The absolute best thing about fantasies is that they can just be fantasies! If there’s something you’re always thinking about — like a threesome, being spanked, or having sex in public — but you’re not necessarily ready to do it (because hello, horny introvert), talking about it can be just as effective as dirty talk. Encourage your partner to do the same. At the end of the day, talking about something that makes you horny is going to actually make you horny (surprise surprise).
Things you want to try
This can be different than talking about your sexual fantasies because while fantasies can be super out-there, talking about what you actually want to try can lead to new sexual experiences for both you and your partner. Do you want to be tied up? Have you wanted your partner to give you a lapdance? Bringing up what you’ve been itching to try and then just discussing it is a great way to have really productive dirty talk.
Your partner’s best physical features
Sure, it’s nice that you think your partner is sweet, kind, and caring. But if you want to dirty-talk-it-up, talk about their physical features. Do they have a great ass? Do you love the way the veins on their hands look, especially when their hands are around your neck? (That one even sent a shiver down my spine). Complimenting someone’s appearance can also boost their ego and make them feel more confident. And in case you didn’t realize, being confident in bed is always a good thing.
A sexy dream you had
If you’ve had a wet dream you thought was super sexy, talk about it with your partner. Even if the dream wasn’t with them (make sure to gauge their jealousy levels first though). Talk about what was being done to you in the dream and how much you liked it.
What porn you like to watch
Okay, I know a lot of porn out there really sucks. But if you’re someone that indulges from time to time, you can use it to your advantage when trying to talk dirty. What do you like watching? Why does it turn you on? Also, sometimes it’s really sexy to know that your partner is so revved up sometimes that they watch porn.
How crazy they drive you
My favorite way to talk dirty is to just tell my partner how bad I want them. And if you’re a little shy about expressing this, you don’t have to say anything crazy. Just saying, “You look so good right now,” or something like “The way I want you right now is crazy,” can open the door to you and your partner talking dirty about how badly you want each other.
