They say 90% of communication is nonverbal, but today we’re gonna talk about the other critical 10% that takes your sex game to 100: dirty talk. It’s no secret that men have egos that love to be stroked. We want to feel like we’re unforgettable, testosterone-charged demigods and not just another dick on the proverbial dance floor. And one of the best ways to get your guy to feel a fraction of as good as Chris Hemsworth looks is dirty talk. “Dirty talk? But won’t I sound like a desperate, trashy thot with daddy issues?” Nope. But you might sound like a sex goddess if you add these simple dirty talk phrases to your sexual arsenal. Do I really need to say that what follows is incredibly NSFW?
1. “Your Dick Feels So Good”
Every man loves hearing positive reviews about his dick. It’s our favorite thing in the world, and we’re happy to know someone else thinks it’s five stars too. But when praising penises, women often hype how big it is. To quote Samuel L. Jackson at the end of Pulp Fiction, “I’d like that, but that shit ain’t the truth.” I would advise against this because a lot of dudes have complexes about size, and nothing is less sexy than bringing up a man’s insecurities. So rather than talking about the size, talk about how it makes you feel. It’s honest, it’s personal, and it’s something he may not have heard before.
2. “You Make Me So Wet”
Believe it or not, guys are not the selfish orgasm junkies we’re made out to be. One of the things we like most is making sure the woman is enjoying sex just as much, if not more, than we are. Guys like knowing they’re having an effect, and you being wet is one of the few direct cues that men have that tell us what we’re doing is actually working. So tell him he’s turning you on because that’s all he’s trying to do anyway.
3. “I love The Way You Fuck Me”
For a guy to really do sex right, it takes a lot of energy and effort. It’s a workout. It’s basically a sexier version of CrossFit, but we get to cum. So when we’re giving it 100%, it’s nice to know that the effort we’re putting in to please is appreciated. For men, sex is a game of trial and error, so we love learning what works and what doesn’t. No man wants to be bad in bed, and this line is a great way to encourage a guy to do something you like again in the future. I promise he’ll remember.
4. “Cum For Me”
Guys have a strange relationship with their cum. We know it’s gross and kind of upsetting, like accidentally touching gum under a park bench, but that doesn’t mean you have to remind us of that fact. We feel guilty enough about it already. Believe me, if we didn’t have to cum, we wouldn’t. We’d prefer for it to end with just a sigh and a smile. But we gotta. So hearing it’s accepted and encouraged enhances the sex for us. This line is also a friendly way to let him know it’s closing time for your vagina and right about time to pay his tab. Obviously don’t do this in a stressful, demanding type of way. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being forced to cum on command.
5. Just Be Vocal
Guys love dirty talk. Anything and everything. So it’s hard for you to ever go wrong by making sounds of any sort. Even if you’re afraid that the sound is embarrassing or weird, it’s not, and it’s way better than being silent. Just get out of your head, be honest, be present, and let go.