I don’t know about you all, but the only thing keeping me in relatively good spirits these past few days has been the high quality of memes being churned out on the internet. It might have something to do with the fact that this is one of those rare times when the entire word is experiencing the same thing at the same time, and there is a tremendous amount of solidarity online. But apart from providing a much-needed distraction from the news, these memes serve a more crucial role in maintaining our sanity than we might realize. (Take that, every parent who’s ever said creating memes is not a real job.)
Is a symptom of corona virus having thick luscious juicy ass cheeks cos I’m scared guys
— chris (@Chrissyinglis) March 16, 2020
Laughter has been considered an effective form of therapy for years, and we’ve all heard sayings like “laughter is the best medicine.” But how does this work exactly? I spoke with Ugur Üngör, a professor of Holocaust and Genocide Studies and someone who has studied the functions of humor during and after genocide, to get to the bottom of why humor really can help people cope with dark times.
“The key objectives of humor in a crisis involving death(s) are criticism, community, and coping. The latter is very important for people to get through a crisis. Ask anyone who’s been through a war or genocide and they’ll confirm that a certain friend with a good sense of humor is what kept them alive at times,” said Professor Üngör. Now, the coronavirus is no World War, technically speaking, but the lasting socioeconomic damage this pandemic has caused on a global scale is already being compared to the recession of World War II.
1920: Alcohol is prohibited
2020: Liquor stores are an essential business during a national health crisis
— RubMor (@QBruby) March 28, 2020
Also similar to a war is the grim fact that thousands of people across the globe are dying. So is it really okay to make jokes about the virus that is killing so many people? I spoke with Dr. Thomas Ford, Editor In Chief of the International Journal of Humor Research about the benefits of using humor in stressful situations. He conducted an experiment in which participants completed a role-play exercise in which they imagined they were about to take a stressful, difficult SAT-like math test. Participants in the first condition read four cartoons and four jokes that poked fun at math tests and math in general. Participants in the second situation saw cartoons that poked fun at their own math ability. And finally, participants in the last group did not read any jokes or cartoons while anticipating taking the math test. They found that participants whose cartoons poked fun at the math test reported lower feelings of anxiety compared to participants in the other two conditions.
These findings suggest that engaging in not just any humor, but humor that trivializes the immediate stressor, is particularly effective at mitigating the negative effects of that stressor on anxiety. This is perhaps the reason why social media is flooded with memes that explicitly talk about coronavirus, as opposed to shying away from joking about the virus directly.
“I think it’s very healthy to joke about the coronavirus,” said Dr. Ford. “Stressful events such as the coronavirus can adversely affect our mental health, producing anxiety and depression. Humor invites us to reframe those stressors playfully and non-seriously, providing a way for us to see them as less threatening and scary, which consequently mitigates, at least momentarily, the experience of emotional distress.”
HOW TO AVOID CORONAVIRUS‼️
– Don’t let them in
– Don’t let them see
– Be the good girl you always have to be
– Conceal
– Don’t feel
– Put on a show
– Make one wrong move and everyone will know— eca (@WlDOWBYTE) March 16, 2020
At first, I was surprised, even annoyed to see the amount of Coronavirus content that was there online. But eventually, I started feeling solace knowing that other people were also feeling the same way. And with no end in sight, the uncertainty of the situation adds to our anxieties, leading to the creation of some truly entertaining content that is bound to stay for a long time. So don’t delete that COVID-19 meme folder on your phone—it’s called documenting history for future generations, look it up.
Images: Charles Deluvio / Unsplash; @WlDOWBYTE, @QBruby, @Chrissyinglis / Twitter
How are you surviving your quarantine? Drinking every time you feel an overwhelming feeling of existential dread (every passing moment)? Checking the fridge every 15 seconds to make sure you’re still aware of what’s in there (nothing, you ate all your quarantine snacks already)? Going live on Instagram like literally no one asked you to (please don’t)?
However you’re choosing to pass the time, I sincerely hope you have found a way to not go completely insane yet. Personally, I have been using this new abundance of free time to work on creative projects and deep clean my apartment scroll through Twitter, much like when I used to use company time to scroll through Twitter. Nice to change things up.
Lucky for me, Twitter is straight-up poppin’ right now. Social distancing and self quarantining has given content creators the opportunity to thrive with their front-facing videos, hot takes, and Twitter jokes. We love to see it.
In case you’ve missed out on this premium content, have no fear, I have curated a list of some of the best tweets that have gone viral in the good way during these trying times. You’re welcome!
1. Time Has Collapsed On Itself (@BrotiGupta)
wanna feel old? this morning was TODAY
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) March 18, 2020
And March is still not over.
2. Literally what is a 401(k)? (@calebsaysthings)
people keep saying “don’t check your 401k” like I know what that is or have one to check. should I also sanitize my opera binoculars? cancel my incoming shipment of caviar? fuel up the private jet while prices are low?
— 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙀𝘽 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙊𝙉 (@calebsaysthings) March 17, 2020
Ahh, yes, times are so terrible I may have to downsize my butler staff. Woe is me!
3. Stay the fuck home. (@AliseNavidad)
Girl who went to the bar on quarantine pic.twitter.com/O76S51gnbX
— Alise Morales (@AliseNavidad) March 15, 2020
If you were this girl, you should be ashamed.
4. Capitalism strikes again. (@MikiZarzycki)
Everyone with a fake job gets to stay home and get paid to drop funny gifs into Slack, everyone with a real job has to be a frontline pandemic worker or get fired.
— banksy (@MikiZarzycki) March 17, 2020
And they all said my fake job would be worth nothing…
5. Some things remain the same. (@5foot1girl)
day 3 of quarantine: a man hasn't made me cum in 2 years
— rosé (@5foot1girl) March 17, 2020
At least nothing has changed.
6. Oh hi, Aunt Carol. (@megstalter)
Your aunt who just now realized we should quarantine pic.twitter.com/IQ7EHWnRBQ
— Meg Stalter (@megstalter) March 17, 2020
Where have you been?!
7. Grocery store workers need a raise yesterday. (@blairsocci)
Crazy how grocery store workers had no idea they signed up for the draft
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) March 16, 2020
They are doing the Lord’s work.
8. We are taking any friends we can get. (@alyssalimp)
pre-isolation: ah there's a bug in here kill it!!!
now: hello Kendra the bug welcome to our home may we interest you in a glass of wine
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) March 22, 2020
Think Kendra can join in a FaceTime next week?
9. Brb, sending this to my therapist. (@LukeMones)
Me, a paranoid hypochondriac, walking into therapy this morning pic.twitter.com/BxEBOqPVDt
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) March 13, 2020
Shouts-out to all the therapists who are going to be having the same conversation, day in and day out, for months.
10. FOMO is dead. (@ilazer)
it took a global pandemic to eradicate every fiber of FOMO from my body. there is no mo fo mo.
— ilana glazer (@ilazer) March 30, 2020
The one silver lining of this whole pandemic.
11. Third breakfast is in T-minus 15 minutes. (@stellaboonshoft)
quarantine has rly shown me that i am, at all times, simply waiting to eat my next meal
— stella (@stellaboonshoft) March 16, 2020
Aren’t we all, though?
12. #KeepIdrisSafe (@marcellacomedy)
I still can’t get over Idris Elba’s wife Sabrina sitting behind him in that corona video. That wasn’t to support him. That was to let all us hoes know that she got this and we didn’t need to be in his comments like ILL SUCK THE CORONA RIGHT OUTTA UR DICK.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) March 17, 2020
…But if he needs someone to suck the corona out of his d*ck, I might be available.
13. If you know, you know. (@Rachel_Sennott)
Vanessa hudgens rn pic.twitter.com/XiuOEXFyiN
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) March 17, 2020
Still waiting for any kind of apology or acknowledgment.
14. I’ll wait. (@nnschiller)
Can someone explain to me again why it's reasonable and fair to ask the lowest paid employees to save up enough to have a cushion for emergencies but it's unreasonable and unfair to ask wealthy organizations and corporations to save up enough to pay employees in emergencies?
— Nicholas Schiller is not okay with this. (@nnschiller) March 13, 2020
Sigh.
15. Hindsight is 2020. (@handsdickie)
I bet a lot wives right now wish their husbands bought them a Peloton for Christmas
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) March 16, 2020
The marketing glow-up nobody saw coming.
16. Can we all agree sweatpants are the official uniform of quarantine? (@sarafcarter)
People who are quarantining in jeans: what are you trying to prove
— sarafcarter (@sarafcarter) March 21, 2020
We get it, we get it: you want to make sure your pants fit. You’re better than us.
17. Deep sigh. (@pareene)
I can't believe I'm entering the second global financial meltdown of my adult life and more or less the same people are still in charge of everything
— 'Weird Alex' Pareene (@pareene) March 16, 2020
Have we learned nothing?
18. I am begging you. (@Rachel_Sennott)
can we all just agree to gain 15 pounds. that way none of us have to feel weird about it
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) March 15, 2020
The quarantine 15 is the new freshman 15.
19. Finally, a use for my one talent. (@ziwe)
some of you lack the disassociative skills needed to emotionally survive the apocalypse and it shows
— ziwe (@ziwe) March 10, 2020
Been training to stay inside and not talk to anyone my whole life.
20. @betchesluvthis gets it 😉
Lana Del Rey's is going through a breakup and a quarantine at the same time so you already know that album is gonna be lit
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) March 25, 2020
At least we have one thing to look forward to.
Images: Mike Coppola/Getty Images
If waking up and realizing that your Instagram account has been deleted is your worst nightmare, imagine how you would feel if running a meme page was your full-time job. Last week, Instagram conducted a purge of over 30 popular meme accounts, deleting the pages for violating the app’s terms and services. Meme accounts have become more and more popular as Instagram has grown as a platform, and Instagram is at a crossroads in terms of regulating them. Let’s go through the details of what happened here, and why it might signal a larger shift in the culture of meme accounts. (Yes, I also hate myself for that sentence.)
In some cases, the meme pages that got purged were the main sources of income for the people who ran them. One page, @memeextraordinaire, had reportedly pulled in over $600,000 since its creation. Obviously, it’s a major decision for Instagram to take down these pages when the owners rely on them to make a living, so what was the reasoning here?
Many of the accounts that were deleted, one with as many as 13 million followers, have been known to repost memes and tweets without asking permission from or crediting the creators of the content. Apparently, Instagram has been cracking down on accounts for this type of behavior, which makes sense given the increased focus on transparency we’ve seen this year.
The expectations for meme accounts on Instagram have changed a lot in the last few years. When memes first got big, it was basically the wild west, and no one really cared about proper credits, or asking permission to repost. People (you all know who I’m talking about) would even be so brazen as to find someone’s tweet, crop off their handle, and repost the text as if they came up with the joke themselves. (Tbh, this still happens, and happened to me a few weeks ago, but at least nowadays you can trust your followers to come in the comments for the account that stole your joke.) But in 2019, and especially in the wake of the drama with F*ckJerry earlier this year, it’s a different game. Especially for accounts with millions of followers, it’s not a good look to be taking jokes from Reddit or cropping names out of tweets. It’s one thing to post content from other people, but you should be open about crediting them for their work, and ask their permission when appropriate.
Though stealing jokes without credit is uncool, the owners behind the deleted pages were obviously not happy with the decision. In one tweet, the owner of the @memeextraordinaire page claimed that he wasn’t given any good reason from Instagram for his account being disabled. Clearly, opinions differ on what the consequences of stealing jokes should be, but I don’t think it’s really fair to say that there was no reason.
this is the endgame. 40m+ followers and over $600k+ in accounts lost in two days. @instagram @facebook fucking own up to what you did and rollback, you can’t stay silent in this. peronally lost 600k+ followers for no good reason. #reactivatespicy #memepurge pic.twitter.com/xpgy8KrH2d
— Ben (@spicymp4) July 27, 2019
In case you’re wondering if any of your favorite accounts were targeted in the purge, here’s a list that Taylor Lorenz, a journalist at The Atlantic, put together of pages that were definitely deleted. It’s a long list, but rest assured that there are still tons of accounts that are posting great original content, or crediting what they repost from other creators (hi).
HUGE meme page purge last night on insta. Accounts with millions of followers (one had more than 13M alone) got deleted. pic.twitter.com/Beugxh6bm4
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) July 26, 2019
It’s unfortunate for the people who run these accounts, but hopefully this purge will inspire others with meme accounts to be more thoughtful about the way they curate content, and maybe even push more people to actually create their own content, instead of reposting the same five memes we’ve all seen everywhere. We all just want to laugh at some memes, so there’s no reason this can’t be figured out.
For now, Instagram seems to have chilled out with deleting the accounts, but this could be just the beginning. There are many, many accounts that break rules when it comes to credit and consent when posting, and many of the rules are still in a gray area. When you think about it, meme accounts haven’t been around for all that long, so figuring out how to regulate them is obviously still a work in progress. Most importantly, if you’re using other people’s sh*t, always credit them, and ask for their permission whenever you can. It’s not that hard, and it might save you some headaches later.
Images: Shutterstock; spicymp4, TaylorLorenz / Twitter
So you might have been aware (because of the memes) that over the weekend, a bunch of people made a big production about going to Area 51 to break out the aliens. If you’re like me, you’re probably asking yourself, “what the actual f*ck is everyone going on about?”. (Things I say to myself most time a new internet trend emerges, tbh.) But don’t worry, I’m here to break down everything that popped off over the weekend, so you don’t have to sort through a bunch of Twitter threads. Here’s what’s going on with Area 51.
What The F*ck Is Area 51?
Fucking hilarious to me that the Area 51 meme has gotten to a point where without a doubt there has been a military meeting somewhere with some very high ranking officials sitting down and going…. “Okay but seriously what are we going to do about this?” pic.twitter.com/v3aQGHyRjh
— H҉o҉v҉a҉ ? (@JahovasWitniss) July 15, 2019
If you didn’t already know, Area 51 is The United States Air Force base in the desert of Nevada. Allegedly, it contains top secret information on extraterrestrial phenomena, and people believe there could be UFOs, aliens, and remains of such. Basically it sounds like the plot of Stranger Things. The base was featured in the 1996 film Independence Day as an alien testing laboratory, but the government rejects any sort of extraterrestrial activities. But still, there are people who believe the government is lying to us and there really are aliens at Area 51—just like there are people who believe we didn’t land on the moon.
What’s Up With The Facebook Group?
Upwards of 600,000 people have joined the event “Storm Area 51, they can’t stop all of us” which joins people together to invade the air force base on September 20th in hopes of seeing any sort of extraterrestrial paraphernalia. Over 600,000 people? That’s more followers than many influencers have on Instagram. That’s a lot of f*cking people. The event description says, “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry” and that “If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.” A little more intense than your typical birthday celebration Facebook event description, wouldn’t you say? “Naruto run” is based on the Japanese manga character, Naruto Uzumaki, who runs with his head down and and arms arms stretched out behind. Kind of like how that one weird kid from your high school would run through the halls. I imagine this event would play out like a walk of shame, except you’re not hungover in your clothes from the night before, and instead of avoiding anyone you know, you’re avoiding the government. But really, the first clue that this event is not serious is the sentence that claims people can outrun bullets just be emanating a manga character. But as we know, people on the internet are f*cking idiots and this event is being taken seriously. Which brings me to my next point…
The Government Is Always Watching
The government ready and waiting for everyone storming Area 51 pic.twitter.com/U98wrutx7X
— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) July 15, 2019
Apparently this event was a joke, but we all know there’s a little truth behind every “JK”, and consequently, the government has gotten involved. Air Force spokesperson Laura McAndrews said, “ is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces.” They would discourage it? That’s like my best friend telling me that she discourages me from drunk texting my ex. Am I gonna do it anyway? Yes. Does her telling me not to do it only make me that much more determined to disregard her advice? Also yes. McAndrews also says that “The US Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets,” which to me feels like code for “you’re gonna get shot if you try to go in there”. Are the “assets” extraterrestrial activities? Is ET real? How much longer until this event is sponsored? Is this going to be the next Fyre Festival? Either way, this has brought us great memes, so that’s all that really matters.
To recap, you should not try to storm Area 51. If Stranger Things taught us anything, it’s that breaking into a highly protected government building to find some aliens is only going to f*ck up your life. If you’re going to actually spend the money on a plane ticket to go to Nevada, you’re probably better off going to Vegas, where you would likely see weirder sh*t anyway. Luckily for the government, everybody knows that only about 1/3 of people who respond “yes” to Facebook events end up actually attending, so they probably don’t have much to worry about.
Images: JahovasWitniss, NATCpod / Twitter
If you’re like me, you probably don’t spend a ton of time thinking about aliens. I don’t have any proof that they’re not real, but the whole idea of UFOs crashing in the desert has always seemed a little unrealistic to me. But just because I don’t care about aliens doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy memes about aliens. Over the past week, a Facebook event promising to raid the top-secret military base at Area 51 has gone totally viral, it’s pretty much the weirdest, funniest thing happening on the internet right now.
The event is scheduled for September 20, but it’s unclear if anyone is actually planning to show up. Over a million people have RSVPed, but the US Air Force has advised people against trying to storm an active military base. I can’t imagine why they would have an issue with this! While the details of the event are a little confusing, the memes have been amazing. Here are some of the best ones.
So my mom said she can take us to area 51 or pick us up, but she's not doing both.
— duo (@duolingous) July 13, 2019
I’m having visceral flashbacks to arguing with my mom over how much she was willing to drive my ass around. My mom would definitely have nothing to do with this nonsense, though.
the aliens at #Area51 waiting for the we outside text pic.twitter.com/3ZVywYKtg7
— Sabrina??? (@idkhonestlyok) July 12, 2019
Okay but this is literally me. I’m cursed with being the fastest friend to get ready, so the amount of times I’ve been waiting for my friends to text me that they’re ready is honestly insane. Glad to know I have something in common with the aliens.
Anyone selling two VIP wristbands for Area 51 weekend 1… lemme know
— jilly hendrix (@jillyhendrix) July 14, 2019
I can already see people booking flights to Nevada and risking their lives just to get a funny Instagram pic. It’s exactly like Coachella, just with armed guards instead of an Ariana Grande concert at the end. Also, there probably aren’t any influencer parties.
YOOOOOO. The biggest hazard of unleashing aliens on the world is that I’m sure their species has plenty of f*ckboys too. The truth is out there or whatever, but so are the “u up?” texts.
At this point my only hope for finding a guy who will text back is to raid Area 51
— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) July 15, 2019
While there’s a high probability that all alien men are assholes, what if they’re not? Human men are trashy enough that it might be worth it to give aliens a try. It literally can’t get any worse.
Government:*pulls up to my house* Sir do you have an alien if so hand it over
Me and everyone who raided Area 51:#Area51memes #Area51 pic.twitter.com/lDuQeFQ1X7— キラキラ (@baratingz) July 13, 2019
I’d just like to put it on the record that this is my favorite video of all time. There is never, ever a wrong time for a Real Housewives meme, and I love the idea that we’re all just going to be hiding aliens in our houses. Is this all just an elaborate promotional scheme for the new Men In Black movie? Did you even know there was a new Men In Black movie? I saw it, and it was bad.
My motivation to study Vs. My motivation to get into Area 51 pic.twitter.com/lF7TbFb5RU
— College Student (@FactsOfSchool) July 13, 2019
This is painfully applicable to every single part of my life. If it is important, I do not care enough to get out of bed. If it is a viral meme that started as a sh*tpost on Facebook, I am way too f*cking hype. It’s my biggest flaw.
me after I save an alien but it keeps making jokes about destroying mankind #Area51memes #area51raid #Area51 pic.twitter.com/moPxY6x7RQ
— Joe (@JFlecTV) July 13, 2019
The biggest problem with kidnapping a bunch of aliens (aside from the fact that they’re not real) is that we don’t know what their intentions are. Maybe they look all furry and cute, but we have no idea what they’re capable of. Let me just remind you that I saw the new Men In Black movie, so I know how wrong these things can go.
the guards laughing at us after we enter area 51 and see no aliens #Area51 #area51raid #Area51memes pic.twitter.com/NCYtTDh1QW
— m (@remysthots) July 13, 2019
As funny as these memes are, the real joke is any of us thinking that there are actual aliens being hidden in the middle of nowhere in Nevada. I love The X-Files as much as the next person, but that sh*t is fictional. Please, please don’t risk getting shot down in the desert just because of a troll Facebook event.
Images: Oliver Pacas / Unsplash; duolingous, idkhonestlyok, jillyhendrix, natcpod, baratingz, factsofschool, jflectv, remysthots / Twitter; kweenkwerke / Instagram
Ask any millennial about their favorite social media platforms, and they’ll tell you Facebook is largely dying out. It’s basically all fear-mongering and your relatives doing embarrassing sh*t on there, anyway, with the additions of political rants nobody asked for and people you haven’t spoken to since high school trying to sell you stuff you don’t want or need. What a fun place! It’s no wonder we’re all flocking to Instagram. Facebook’s one saving grace, though? Facebook groups. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, you probably think I’m some middle-aged loser. Let me tell you, Facebook groups are secretly where it’s at—they are these fun little communities (minus the hateful, racist, right-wing ones—those are terrible and scary) dedicated to a very specific topic or purpose. For instance, you can be in a Facebook group for anything from wedding shaming, engagement ring shaming, sh*t talking Vanderpump Rules, a fan group for a podcast you listen to… the odds are truly endless! And a lot of these groups just have a funny title so you can tag the name of the group in the comments for comedic effect, such as “A group where you can only say yikes” or “Sounds like mlm, but okay”. Often times, these groups are closed, and you have to request permission and answer a few questions to join. But today, you may have noticed that your Facebook groups went secret overnight. Why?
Thankfully, I have an answer to why so many Facebook groups went secret. The answer comes, obviously, from one of the mods in one of the Facebook groups I am currently a member of. Apparently, yesterday, about “10 sh*tposting groups got disabled and disappeared.” So then, in response, hundreds of groups went secret to hide from the wrath of Mark Zuckerberg and his cronies. On top of that, a “specific group of people” are mass reporting groups in the hopes that they will get taken down.
Holy coded language, Batman! What does this all mean? First of all, if you’re not familiar, sh*tposting, according to Urban Dictionary, refers to “the constant posting of mildly amusing but usually unfunny memes, videos or other pictures that are completely random or unrelated to any discussions.” So basically, big meme groups got targeted and taken down.
As for the rest of that vague information, I turned, of course, to Reddit, to find out why all my Facebook groups went secret. That, in turn, led me to a writeup on Know Your Meme. It’s a weird, kind of murky story, which feels very fitting for Reddit and this corner of the internet anyway.
Here’s what went down. Supposedly, some guy in Indonesia who runs a closed Facebook group began taking down other Facebook groups by spamming them with porn pictures, so the groups will get reported. When that happens, Facebook tends to shut down groups first and investigate later, or more often, not investigate at all (such as in the case with @bigkidproblems IG being down for the past few days), so the groups would be SOL if they got reported. Basically. So now you have all your fun tagging Facebook groups frantically going secret so they can’t be searched for, and therefore, targeted by this group.
As for why this guy/group is coming after these other groups, I truly can’t even begin to explain it. This has just become so far out of my wheelhouse I can’t even imagine, so I will direct you to this Reddit thread, which appears to have some answers. Or at the very least, it has a bunch of people who are saying things with enough conviction that it’s convinced me that they know things (even if it has simultaneously further confused me). I’m warning you: sh*t gets weird.
So if nothing else, now you know why a bunch of Facebook groups went secret instead of just being closed, and now we all know just how f*cking bizarre and dark the depths of the internet can go. As one of my favorite Facebook tagging groups would put it, this is a situation where you can only say yikes!
Images: Thought Catalog / Unsplash
Last night, we were all shocked beyond belief at the news of Jordyn Woods allegedly hooking up with Tristan Thompson. Could the betrayal be any more extreme? Has girl code ever been violated in a worse way? Probably not. Reportedly, Tristan was in LA to spend Valentine’s Day with Khloé, but then he spent Sunday night making out with Jordyn at a house party. Really, the part about Tristan cheating isn’t shocking, considering he couldn’t even keep it in his pants days before Khloé had his baby. Now, rumor has it that Khloé broke up with Tristan, and we can only assume that Jordyn isn’t really welcome to live at Kylie’s house anymore. I get annoyed when my friends stay with me for a long weekend, so even without the cheating, it’s past time for her to go.
We’re still eagerly waiting for more details on Jordyn Woods’ impending funeral, but they’ll probably make us wait six months to get any actual information on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. While we wait, at least the situation has provided some prime opportunities for comedy. The internet has been on fire yesterday and today, so everyone really deserves a round of applause for their great work. Here are some of our favorite Jordyn and Tristan memes.
I won’t lie, I made this one. But honestly, Jordyn’s number one concern right now should be going into hiding. Kris can be pretty ruthless, so Jordyn should definitely be careful about going out in public. Should we check on her to make sure she’s ok?
This is Kylie’s Paris Hilton moment. I really need them to make a spin-off show to find her a new BFF, and I need to figure out how to get on that show. If this isn’t my ticket to fame, I don’t know what is. Kylie needs someone to take photos with that she’ll look hotter than, and I’m more than happy to fill that role.
If you’ve ever wanted a dirt cheap lip kit, now might be the time to strike. I love a good promo code, and “betrayal” fits the situation perfectly.
The devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder. The new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians is about to start, and they had started releasing trailers earlier this week. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if some of this sh*t was orchestrated on purpose. Only time will tell.
I love a good crossover moment, and Fyre Festival humor will never get old. Honestly, I would rather be stranded on an island in the Bahamas with no water than be Jordyn Woods right now.
Normally I hate being at work, but I’d rather work a 24-hour shift than be in Jordyn’s position right now. I’m really just grateful that this situation has given me plenty to talk about with my coworkers today.
Everyone immediately latched onto Khloé’s comment on Jordyn’s most recent Instagram post: “baby girl.” There are literally thousands of responses to this comment now, but my personal favorite is perhaps the cutting joke above, which initially appeared as a reply to Khloé’s initial comment.
Me to my boss: I’m sorry I can’t do any work today, I’ve got to follow this Jordyn/Tristan situation closely.
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) February 20, 2019
I’m not even exaggerating in the slightest when I care about this scandal more than I have ever cared about my paying, full-time job.
To sum this all up, literally what the f*ck.
These Jordyn and Tristan memes have been getting me through the day, and all I want is more information so I can continue to talk about it and look at more memes. This is the most exciting cultural moment that I’ve been a part of since the dueling Fyre Festival documentaries and Kylie Jenner’s surprise pregnancy. And the great part is, the mess is just beginning. Tristan Thompson reportedly “doesn’t care” that his relationship with Khloé Kardashian is over, according to sources who spoke to UsWeekly. Apparently, “He honestly doesn’t really care and was over it. He was never trying to win Khloé back.” F*cking ouch. The only thing that hurts worse than a breakup is finding out that your ex who completely screwed you over never really gave a sh*t about you to begin with. Good thing he decided to bring a child into this world with Khloé anyway! At this point, Khloé just needs to throw the whole man away and start over.
Meanwhile, the Kardashians are writing Jordyn off, according to E! sources, who are probably just Kris Jenner in a trench coat. I’m sure this mess will (thankfully) continue to develop, and I’ll be watching (and meming) closely.
Images: @dylanhafer, @taterth0tz, @betches, @whenshappyhr, @superficialtech, @lexniko, @colinjade, @hannahmlplanet / Instagram; betchesluvthis / Twitter
If you don’t know who Andy King is, then congratulations on your rich and full social life. For those of us who stayed at home binging the Fyre Festival documentaries like normal people, Andy King is a hero, a visionary, the loyal friend 2019 deserves. He is, in other words, the guy who was willing to suck d*ck for water bottles, when asked to do so by longtime friend and Fyre Festival organizer Billy McFarland. (I feel like people gloss over the fact that Billy asked him too way too much, by the way—let’s all remember that King didn’t come up with this sh*t.) Anyway, King obviously became an internet sensation, with many memes invoking his willingness to do literally whatever it took to get the Fyre Festival attendees their water.
How every girl looks at Colton during the rose ceremony #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/HDcU2G2nDc
— The Betchelor Podcast???? (@betchelorpod) January 29, 2019
We shared the memes, we laughed at the memes, we pondered what our own minimum threshold is to suck a d*ck, but the question remained: what did Andy King think of his overnight stardom? Well, now we finally have our new meme star’s response. In a video interview with Netflix, Andy King talks about his newfound fame, what it’s like to see himself in memes, and how you can help support Fyre Festival victims.
While I strongly recommend that you watch the whole video, here are some highlights. King kicks things off by announcing that he’d rather not be known as “the Blowjob King.” Fair! Given the option, I think we would all prefer to not have that nickname. Obviously, some of us deal with that preference by not announcing our willingness to bribe government officials by performing sexual acts on camera, but that’s neither here nor there. We also learn that King has never been on social media before this, which is truly shocking. Did he even watch the Fyre Festival ads that were going around before he got on board? Or did Billy burn him DVD copies to watch at home? Knowing Billy, I feel like he probably just showed him footage from last year’s Coachella and promised him it would be the exact same thing, only bigger and better.
Anyway, King doesn’t know what “trending” means, or how to pronounce “meme,” but knows that he is both of those things. And he would like to use that newfound power to direct your attention to the GoFundMe for unpaid Fyre Festival workers. Consider donating, but also consider just how apt it is that 2019’s first hero is a guy who was willing to suck d*ck to save good people from getting hurt by his rich asshole friend’s terrible idea (yet not willing to insist his decades-younger friend pull the plug on said festival when it got to the point of sucking d*ck for water). Andy King is what we need in 2019, a year in which crazy has boiled over everywhere we look: we need someone willing to act when things gets very, very messy.
Images: realandyking / Instagram; Netflix
