ICYMI, growing a human being is a pretty big deal. Not only does a whole bunch of weird stuff happen to your body when pregnant, but people also say generally absurd things to you. Like, if you thought getting unsolicited wedding advice was bad, wait until you get unsolicited pregnancy advice. *shudders* On the plus side, being pregnant also comes with some fun perks like never having to carry anything heavy and—if you timed things right—wearing some of the most epic Halloween pregnancy costumes ever.
Now, obviously, you shouldn’t try to get pregnant just so you can finally dress up like Juno. But! If you happen to be sporting a bowling ball bump come October, you’re in luck. First of all, the weather is considerably less miserable so you won’t be sweating quite as much as if you were hella pregnant in like, June. Secondly, you get the chance to lean into costumes that either aren’t feasible or simply aren’t as iconic without a baby constantly pressing on your bladder.
So instead of trying to hide your bump or worse, staying home this Halloween, think of this as a unique opportunity to really blow your fans (yes fans) away. From upgraded costume classics to the best pregnant pop culture characters, these pregnancy Halloween costume ideas will make you want to be knocked up every year.*
A Handmaid From The Handmaid’s Tale
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Truly one of the best things about being pregnant in the fall is that you get to dress up like a character from the most f*cked up dystopian society ever. With the newest season of The Handmaid’s Tale streaming now, there’s never been a better time to don your blood-red robe and let everyone know that, while you’re excited about the bump under your gown, you still think everyone deserves the right to choose. Also, you get to stay “praise be,” “under his eye,” and “blessed be the fruit” a lot, which can really cut down on small talk if you’re not feeling the covno.
June From Juno
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Not sure if you remember, but there was truly nothing scarier than seeing Juno in theaters while making out with your boyfriend circa 2007. Now that you’ve beaten teen pregnancy, though, dressing up as the titular character is a nostalgic nod to your childhood (not to mention a little bless up to the birth control that had your back for so long). Show off the result of that one crazy night (or months of trying to conceive) with a striped shirt, skirt over leggings, and a giant slushy to ease the heartburn.
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Looking for an excuse to whip out all your makeup and talk about global conservation? Same. Since you’re about to become a mother anyway, dress up like the most notable one in the world. The best part is that this costume is super easy to DIY, so you don’t have to run around getting a million different pieces in between appointments with your OB-GYN and Target runs for bigger pants. Simply throw on a white skirt and crop top (or get creative with a sheet), grab that flower crown you have left over from one of a zillion bachelorette parties, and paint your belly like a globe. And if anyone tries to touch your belly-globe, just tell them you’re trying not to pollute your growth environment.
Wilson From Cast Away
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Tom Hanks and his trusty sidekick Wilson are the definition of ride or die (except, spoiler, Wilson dies at sea while ol’ Tommy rides on, distraught), which makes them the perfect couple’s Halloween costume. When you’re pregnant, though, the costume gets even better thanks to the literal ball-sized lump in the middle of your body. Paint that belly like a volleyball, throw on a headdress made of hay, and ask your partner not to shower for a few days to really capture the essence of what this look is all about.
A Fortune Teller
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The future called and it says you can expect a lot of weird comments from relatives about your pregnancy! Are you going to breastfeed? You’re having a natural birth, right? Will you be sleep training? Lean into the fact that your destiny includes shutting down unwanted baby and body questions/comments by dressing up as a fortune teller with ~gypsy~ makeup and an unnecessary amount of necklaces. Don’t forget to paint your bump like a crystal ball so the next time someone asks you a dumb question, you simply can rub your belly and say something like: “My orb doesn’t answer to queries undeserving of a reply.” Not today, Susan!
Phoebe Buffay From Friends
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If you’re dealing with the whole “I’m pregnant while all my friends are blissfully free from swollen ankles and itchy nipples” thing, bring back that famous wedding dress moment from Friends. You know the one. Go to a thrift store for gowns (trust me, you’ll find some real gems), and be sure to take the iconic couch pic for the ‘gram. Pals not into the idea (and they said friends will always be there for you—smh)? You can still rock Phoebe’s pregnant bridal look solo, just make sure to caress your stomach a lot and hum “Smelly Cat” on a loop.
Ursula From The Little Mermaid
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You can likely thank all your alluring *body language* for that positive pregnancy test, so show off your curvy new figure by dressing as one of the most sexual Disney villains ever. I mean, come on. Ursula was all about the form-fitting gowns and bright red lips, plus she turned herself into a total hottie just to screw Ariel over. We love an evil beauty. Wiggle into a black maxi, get a short white wig, and dust off those contouring skills to remind everyone who the poor unfortunate souls really are… basically anyone who says something along the lines of: “You’re about to pop.”
Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
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Got this strange feeling that you’re blowing up like a blueberry? Use this as your excuse to eat allllll the Wonka Bars this Halloween. Violet Beauregarde, while a little rough around the edges, was a hard worker who just wanted what she deserved, and after all you’ve been through to grow that baby, you deserve mad respect (re: Instagram likes) as well. Paint yourself purple (I mean, violet), smack your gum loudly, and shut anyone down who says that maybe you don’t need another piece of candy. Sorry, Charlie, winners don’t listen to losers not creating life inside of them.
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Love puns and costumes you can easily DIY? A mummy-to-be is cute, simple, and can still be sexy. Plus, the look makes it very clear that while you’re a sacred vessel, you can also turn into a monster at any minor inconvenience. It’s nice to set clear expectations for everyone. Outfit-wise, you can make this as elaborate or lowkey as you’d like, but at a base level, put on a white mini dress or bodysuit, wrap some gauze all around you, and groan a lot whenever someone tries to give you yet another parenting tip.
A Disco Ball
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Between bell bottoms and the revival of the center part, retro styles are clearly back. And if you want a costume that hides your bump in plain sight, taking it back to the ‘70s will make you feel a little more glam and a little less “I’m so bloated.” Essentially, you’ll dress up as a disco ball (gray dress, gray wig, silver sequin fabric on the bump) while your partner throws on their best vintage look (think: afro, corduroy, and ample amounts of chest hair). Together, you’ve got a costume contest-winning combo, all while giving the illusion that your bulging bump is merely a fun dance party accessory and not an actual baby that keeps you up at night with its kicks.
If you’re on that all-carb pregnancy diet, whip out those stretchy pants and dress up as the queen bee herself. A red tank top, Regina’s signature “R” necklace, and hoop earrings (because yes, they’re her thing) are all you need in addition to your most forgiving track pants and an undeniable air of superiority. Sure, all those other costumes are cute. But you know that putting in even the smallest effort for Halloween is a major ask right now. Between leg cramps, constant gas, and people touching your belly without asking, now’s not the time to expect a lot from you. It’s okay—you can’t help that sweatpants are all that fit you.
*Kidding, obviously. Halloween is much better with alcohol.
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I don’t need to tell you that Halloween is, hands down, the best holiday of the entire year. It’s the celebration devoted to junk food and playing pranks on people, after all. Plus, it’s the first holiday in a long string of important holidays, so you know you have a full season of yummy treats and opportunities to “accidentally” run into your hometown ex when you’re visiting your parents. The literal only problem with Halloween is figuring out what to wear. If you’re not a die-hard lover of dressing up like yours truly, landing on a costume can, admittedly, be a struggle.
But before you just waltz into your nearest Spirit Halloween and buy an overpriced package costume that for some reason smells like fish sticks, it’s important we talk about the costumes you shouldn’t wear. I don’t mean the basic Halloween costumes that require zero effort or the offensive costumes that’ll get you fired (but maybe don’t wear those either?). I’m talking about the super popular Halloween costumes that every single person you know will also dress up as. I mean, is there anything worse than showing up to a party, only to see that eight other people are dressed up as the same thing you are, except their costumes look better? The answer is no. There’s nothing worse. It’s like social suicide.
So in order to save you time, money, and grave embarrassment, here are the 10 most popular Halloween costumes of 2022 that you shouldn’t, under any circumstances, wear. And because we’re super nice, we’ve included some alternative options in place of all the basic ass ideas that’ll be flooding social media this year. Bookmark this and thank us later.
The Sanderson Sisters
Hocus Pocus characters have been Halloween staples since 1993, and while dressing up as the most infamous sister witches isn’t exactly creative, when done right, it usually had a nice wow factor. As long as you had two willing friends, a decent budget for legit costumes, and time to sort out who would begrudgingly be Mary, you’d impress. That was, of course, before the sequel came out a mere month ahead of Halloween 2022. Now more than ever, trios of witches yielding Swiffers and DustBusters will be running amok all over. Avoid being just another Sanderson and skip your spellbinding performance of Jay Hawkins’ haunting tune this year. Trust me, if you thought being Mary was bad, being the least impressive Mary at the party is even worse.
A Better Costume Option: Literally any other Disney witch works from Ursula to Maleficent.
Pam and Tommy
Just when you thought Carter Baizen couldn’t get any hotter, the actor who played him (Sebastian Stan) took on the form of Mötley Crüe’s Thomas Lee. Sure, it’s a different look, but last I checked abs are still abs. Even though this is a fun couple’s costume that gives you an excuse to dress up like Pamela Anderson, it’s 100% a no-go this year. If you’d done this look last year? Fine. But now, after the Pam & Tommy series? It’s a hard no. Give it at least a year before you draw a bunch of tattoos all over your significant other’s poor, unsuspecting bod.
A Better Costume Option: John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Someone will undoubtedly make a show about this musical pair someday, so get ahead of the trend by throwing on some wire-rimmed glasses and peace-signing the hell out of every photo.
Rhaenyra from House of the Dragon
It still, truthfully, feels too early to dress up as a Game of Thrones character, let alone one from House of the Dragon. Don’t you remember in 2018 when every single person in the world went as John Snow and Daenerys? Nothing like a lil incest cosplay to get America in the Halloween spirit! Seriously, though, let’s not repeat history with Rhaenyra. While it might seem easy since you can dust off your old Daeny wig, consider the fact that parties everywhere will be saturated with the new (or technically, old) hot girl Targaryen. Unless you’re the absolute *best* one out there, there’s no point in joining the dragons this year.
A Better Costume Option: You wanna feel a little mythical and sexy? Medusa gives you the chance to throw on a sexy outfit and bond with reptiles just like Rhaenyra, but you won’t bump into seven others on your way to the bathroom.
The Stranger Things Kids
Technically no longer kids, the Stranger Things ~young adults~ continue to be costume staples for people who don’t understand that Halloween is meant to be the time when you stand out. Since season 4 just came out in May, you can bet your Demogorgons there will be ample Elevens wreaking havoc on your Instagram algorithm this year. No hate on the show, but if you’re aiming for a costume that every other group doesn’t also gravitate toward, move far away from this not-so-upside-down choice.
A Better Costume Option: From Clue characters to the Scooby-Doo crew to the Archie “kids,” there are plenty of other group costume options out there that’ll get you more than a few pity likes and a conversation about D&D.
Elvis won’t be leaving the building this year, because people dressed like him will be found at every damn social outing you attend. Granted, Austin Butler as The King is one of those things that I like to think about when I’m home alone in bed. But! That doesn’t mean dressing like the “Jailhouse Rock” singer is the move. At least, not this year. Save the pink suit and greased hair for another time ya hound dog, because there are going to be far too many other impersonators this Halloween.
A Better Costume Option: If you didn’t hop on the Freddie Mercury trend a few years back, enough time has passed that it’s a fair option now. See also: Michael Jackson, Elton John, or even Harry Styles.
Aww! Dressing like an infamous (and very real) serial killer who murdered at least 17 people! Cute! Except not really, because TBH, dressing like the literal monsters who walk among us feels a) kinda f*cked up and b) like a gross nod of approval to potential killers who want to go down in the history books. Strange flex, ya know? Regardless of the creepy factor, there’s also that fact that, yup, a million other people will dress as Jeff this year thanks to Netflix. Maybe just skip this one forever? Besides, he’s not nearly as cute as Bundy was.
A Better Costume Option: How about we go with a fictional murderer instead? Will that work? Joe Goldberg from You can scratch that desire to dress like a mass murderer, but since he’s fake, it’s far less disturbing for all involved.
A Top Gun Character
I get it. The thought of throwing on a leather jacket and some aviators and calling it a costume is tempting. But first—and I do mean this seriously—that’s not what Halloween is about. Halloween is about pleasure. It’s about attention. It’s about being more than just some washed-up Tom Cruise character. While some people will, obviously, get your costume, they won’t be amazed by it. No one has ever been amazed by a Top Gun costume. This is a lame choice any year, but going this route five months after the (apparently) long-awaited sequel came out? You’re better than that. Be better than that.
A Better Costume Option: If you can’t shake the leather jacket thing, go the Grease route and dress as the T-Birds or Pink Ladies. At least this way you’ll look a little more original, plus you’ll honor the great Olivia Newton-John while you’re at it.
Ah yes, the strangest couple/potential PR stunt of 2021/2022. Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson still don’t feel like a real thing that happened in pop culture history. If there were ever two people less matched, it would be the chill comedian and the, well, Kardashian. Even though this pairing has a lot going for it (see: your bf can get high and wear sunglasses while you max out your credit card on an heirloom evening gown), there’s a very real chance this will be the most popular couple’s costume of 2022. As tempted as you are, leave this pair in the past which is where Pete probably wishes his “Kim” branding was right about now.
A Better Costume Option: If this whole coupling was a stunt, dress like the OG duo who thrived on notoriety: Bonnie and Clyde. Wanna go even further back? Adam and Eve are cute too, especially with some artfully placed leaves…
Emily from Emily in Paris
Even though Emily in Paris is one of the most popular shows on Netflix, don’t you just feel a little…not smart for watching it? Granted, it makes a great hate-watch, but as far as quality TV goes, this ain’t it. Beyond just being a mediocre series, though, dressing up as Emily (you know, the one in Paris) is a perpetually uninspiring costume. Like what? You’ll wear whatever you normally wear but add a beret? If this is your idea of a good Halloween costume, please, stay home. Don’t go out. You don’t deserve spooky season with such a poor choice of judgment.
A Better Costume Option: Just cut to the chase and go as Carrie Bradshaw. It’s who Emily wants to be anyway, and at least this way you can get your SJP fill without succumbing to a Sarah Sanderson look.
Let’s be real: The only way an Anna Delvey “costume” can work is if you perfect her strange-meets-annoying accent. And even then, you have to be talking 100% of the time for anyone to understand who TF you’re supposed to be. I’m sure many people will try (and fail) to pull an Anna off, but consider this your warning that when you enter the party and every single person asks why you didn’t dress up, you’ll wish you took my advice. No matter how many times you insist you’re wearing an actual costume, no one will believe you. To quote the legend herself: “I would rather go to jail forever than come off like some wannabe. Some amateur.”
A Better Costume Option: If you’re thinking of doing an Anna Delvey costume, you likely don’t want to dress up at all. Halloween is on a Monday anyway, so go on. Cancel your plans, order a pizza, and start thinking of a better costume idea for next year. You know, one that doesn’t make you look poor.
Featured image courtesy of Getty Images/In-line images courtesy Of Netflix, Giphy (9)
Ashley: So……………………what’s our group costume going to be for this retro party?
Britney: Group? I was going to go super retro as my namesake 👑 Britney Spears 👑
Ashley: we could do retro pop singers
Emily: Do you know any others besides Britney Spears?
Jessica: Christina Aguilera was a judge on The Voice
Jessica: That’s all I know
Denise: Do the 90s count as retro?
Jessica: yeah, millennials are old/cringey af
Britney: So then why are we emulating them again?
Ashley: It’s the theme.
Emily: what was it even like back then? Wasn’t everyone homophobic? ugh
Ashley: I watched VH1 I Love the ’90s
Ashley: so I’m like an expert
Denise: Ok, Ashley.
Ashley: And I’ve seen a few episodes of The Office
Jessica: cringe 4 cringe? CHEUGY
Emily: Oh duh. Just googled: Spice Girls. 5 of them
Jessica: That does work!
Britney: do we have an inspiration pic??
Jessica: Is that silly string?
Denise: I choose to believe it is
Ashley: and it’s so easy for us to pick since it’s so obvious who we all are
Emily: Is it?
Ashley: Yeah, just look at Denise.
Ashley: Ginger is ginger.
Jessica: Ok, following that logic I’m automatically Scary 🙄
Britney: Uh……casual racism aside…….who am I?
Jessica: How existential.
Denise: Baby (blonde)
Jessica: Yeah, Baby
Ashley: and I’ll be Posh, obviously
Emily: “obviously” 🙃
Ashley: they’re both basically Sporty now anyway since Posh is married to that soccer guy
Emily: David Beckham
Ashley: See!!! you are sporty ⚽️ 🏈 ⚾️ 🥎 🎾 🏐 🏉 🎱
Emily: Fine, whatever. It’s just for a stupid party I’m going to blackout for anyway, joke’s on you bitches bc I’ll be the most comfortable
Emily: I will NOT be switching shoes with anyone, so don’t ask
Denise: shit wait
Emily: too late 🤪
Denise: fine … we should prob incorporate masks right?
Ashley: I don’t think Posh would do that
Jessica: good thing we’re just dressing up and you aren’t really Posh Spice jfc
Ashley: ok, send pics of your costume when you have it
Denise: I……actually think we just need to get dressed and crimp our hair and we’re good
Ashley: whatever, I’ll see you in 3 weeks
Britney: right, cheerio!! 🧐💂♀️
Denise: NO FAKE ACCENTS
Ashley: I’m doin one
Denise: oh god
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Sometimes, being single feels like a 24/7 scarefest—like you’ve been given a free ticket to the most terrifying haunted attraction on earth (where the attraction isn’t even mutual). If solo and dating experiences were inspiration for a nightmare-inducing display, what would it look like? ENTER IF YOU DARE/DATE.
Blind Date Hayride
The torture begins on a daunting and uncomfortable hayride around the property. You’re alone, until a curious mystery man arrives—the nephew of your aunt’s best friend’s brother’s cousin. Since you both are still alive in 2021, they thought you’d be a great match! You quickly learn he is 24, thinks the earth is flat, and can’t stop talking about his “crazy” exes. You reluctantly contribute to the troubling dialogue by saying, “I guess finding a good partner is like finding a needle in a haystack.” He doesn’t get the idiom. Your aunt texts you 15 times in a row on Facebook Messenger to see how the date’s going, sending chills down your spine. Watch out! Despite your apparent lack of interest, he still goes in for a kiss. You jump up and find a spot on the hay bales furthest from him. As you sit, something sharp stabs you in the back of the thigh. Congratulations, you’ve found the needle in the haystack. Sorry, no refunds.
The Interrogation House
As you walk into this dark, cacophonous den, you’re immediately confronted by frightening friends, grim family members, and gruesome internet strangers who have teamed up to hurl hideous questions at you from every direction. “How are you still single?” they scream. “Whatever happened with that one guy?” they hiss. “But what if you die… alone?” someone resembling your mom whispers creepily from the corner. Then, like footage from a Netflix cult documentary, they surround you and begin to chant: “Are you even seeing anyone right now?” It is evident they want to adopt you into their posse of procreators, future divorcées, and people who fight about leaving the toilet seat up. You have to do something now or they will perpetuate the interrogation. “Yes! I am seeing someone!” you shout. “A therapist!” The haters gasp and scatter away like roaches. Whew, that was close. Unquestionably, you have made it out alive. This time.
The App Trap
The ding your phone makes when you get a dating app match blasts through the halls at a deafening level. As you cautiously step into a large theater, you’re immediately bombarded with seizure-inducing flashes of distressing profile pics and devastatingly cursed bios. Beware of the barrage of hair-raising suitors—the horrifyingly dull Jim looking for his Pam, the astounding sophistication of someone who’s fluent in sarcasm, the “bad boy” who is literally just bad at everything, and, most disturbing of all, an onslaught of unsolicited fish pics. Then, out of nowhere, thousands of small nieces and nephews appear, lost, searching for their owners after being used for a photo. What in the Children-of-the-Corn is happening right now? Be prepared to be assigned a compatible match whose bio says nothing except: “ask me anything”! (Here’s a question: Why?) This is actual hell. You may think it’s time to go when you see an EXIT sign that reads: “No one new around you!” but you cannot leave until you update your settings and lower your standards. Shudder.
The Domestic Dungeon
You enter an apartment that appears similar to yours. For a moment, you feel at ease—then, in the spot where you get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, you notice the eerie silhouette of a body. The large, dark shape is on your side of the bed, hogging all the sheets, making an evil noise (a “snore”) that makes you want to scream. You run to the bathroom to hide, but the door is locked! Nooooo. Someone is on your toilet right this second—using your Squatty Potty! A loud noise clammers behind you. The mystery shape appears in the kitchen and starts pounding your variety pack of White Claws, leaving only the grapefruit ones behind. The horror. You have lived alone for too long to handle this wretched invasion. You ask it to leave, but the six-foot-tall (well, probably closer to 5’10”) monster claims you’ve been dating for five weeks and this is fine. Hurry, end things now—before it uses your toothbrush or makes an ass imprint in the couch!
Image: BONNINSTUDIO /Stocksy.com
In our society, more often than not, weddings tend to look pretty similar. While people have different preferences about flowers, colors, dress silhouette, etc., most weddings still consist of your standard white dress and a big, beautiful cake. But not everyone has the same dream for their wedding, and for one bride, her dream wedding was more of a nightmare. To celebrate Halloween, Betches Brides style, we spoke to Dre Fox, a bride who got married last weekend in a true Halloween wedding extravaganza.
“As long as I can remember, I have been called the Queen of Halloween—always taking it WAY too seriously, spending months crafting and handmaking my outfits.” When Dre met her now-husband Josh, the two instantly bonded over their Halloween plans the night before, and last year they celebrated together in elaborate Beetlejuice and Lydia costumes.
So when it came time to create a concept for their October 26th wedding, a Halloween wedding was a no-brainer. “When we got engaged, I knew I didn’t, no, COULDN’T do the normal thing. I’ve always been an eccentric person and this needed to be no different.” This is not your traditional wedding, so take a deep breath, and let’s dive in.
The wedding was designed, planned, and coordinated by Ashley Nicole Affair, who went above and beyond to give Dre and Josh the spooky Hallowedding of their dreams. The ceremony itself was kept mostly traditional, with Dre, Josh, the wedding party, and the bride and groom’s parents dressing in conventional wedding attire. Dre walked down the aisle in a stunning Justin Alexander ostrich wedding gown, looking every bit the traditional fairy tale princess, but that’s where the “traditional” part ended. The guests attended in costume, so Dre and Josh got married surrounded by loving friends and family dressed as aliens, magicians, pirates and Freddie Mercury. As one does.
Dress designer Justin Warshaw of Justin Alexander was featured on the most recent episode of the Betches Brides podcast, where he talked all about what it was like attending such an unconventional event. Here’s the episode, where you can hear about Dre’s Halloween wedding, as well as some of the most-asked questions about wedding dresses:
As the day progressed and the celebration moved from the ceremony to the reception, like Michael Jackson in the “Thriller” music video, Dre and Josh transformed into beasts of the night with the help of CGI makeup done by Jen Hearts Art. The result was truly shocking, and not just because the couple looks utterly unrecognizable. Most people getting married spend inordinate amounts of money trying to look like the best possible versions of themselves for their big day. So you can imagine, asking a makeup artist to make you look hairier and uglier on one of the most important days of your life is not just unorthodox, it’s downright subversive. Honestly? I’m here for it.
Obviously, looking like this at your wedding is not what most couples would want, but I really admire their commitment to doing exactly what they want. And the commitment to the theme did not end with the reception attire. As a former pastry chef, Dre made all of the desserts for the wedding, including the bloody-looking wedding cake. Was it a red velvet cake? I need to know if it was a red velvet cake.
Josh’s bomber jacket was adorned with the phrase “JUST SCARIED” on the back, seating cards were made to look like toe tags, guests’ napkins were held together by vampire teeth, and appetizers were black and purple, in keeping with the spooky spirit of the evening. For entertainment, guests were treated to a caricature artist and a tarot card reader. I mean, this is dedication, and I have no choice but to be impressed.
While not every guest was on board with the couple’s vision for the wedding, Dre wouldn’t have changed a thing: “A wedding should be a representation of you. Not what or who everyone else wants you to be. It takes a leap of faith to follow your heart in the face of criticism, but the people that were there? Well, they understand what love without judgment and true acceptance looks like.” I’d say that warms my cold, dead, heart, but then I wouldn’t be staying true to the spirit of this truly remarkable wedding.
Images: Dre Fox; John Moody / Moodyography (4)
Halloween is almost here, and I say this with all the enthusiasm of someone who will be spending the holiday double fisting Kit-Kats and red wine. Look, I know technically Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, so it is socially acceptable to black out like you would on any other thirsty Thursday, but by god I just can’t do it. In fact, the only celebrating I intend to do is with my dog as we sit on the couch and re-watch our favorite Halloween episodes to ever air on TV whilst dressed in costume as Dobby the house elf and his prized sock (I’ll let you figure out who is who in that scenario). So, for those of you who are looking to go all out on the couch this year, here are the best TV shows to watch to get you in the Halloween spirit (without really being in the Halloween spirit).
Friends: “The One With The Halloween Party” (Season 8, Episode 6)
Tbh I was never a huge fan of Friends. I know, I know. Let’s tie me to the stake now because apparently that is an unforgivable sin. Sighs. That said, I do love a good Halloween episode, even if it’s a Friends episode. Monica and Chandler decide to host a Halloween party where Ross tragically shows up dressed as a spud…nik. No one gets his costume and he is appropriately shamed throughout. If anything, you should watch the episode for costume inspo (it’s seriously gold) and also for the hilarity of Joey showing up dressed like Chandler.
Parks & Rec: “Greg Pikitis” (Season 2, Episode 7)
Parks & Rec had quite a few Halloween episodes, but my favorite has always been the first one, which aired during the second season. Leslie Knope stands off against her sworn enemy, Greg Pikitis, a junior high delinquent who pranks the Parks Department every Halloween. This is also the episode where we meet Burt Macklin, FBI agent, for the first time, when Leslie asks Andy to interrogate Greg over his whereabouts and “maybe waterboard” him. To this day I wish you knew how much I regret not naming my dog “Pikitis” so that whenever she secretly sabotages me by chewing a hole in the crotch of my favorite leggings I could venomously whisper “Pikitis” under my breath. Also, Ann throws a Halloween party and it’s trash because Ann is trash. Watching Ann miserably fail at being fun is in itself worth a re-watch.
One Tree Hill: “An Attempt To Tip The Scales” (Season 3, Episode 4)
Were you even truly living in the early ’00s if you weren’t tuning in every week to watch the utter madness that was One Tree Hill? The show was about two half brothers who share the same scumbag dad and a love of basketball, but one of them is rich and one of them is a bastard. This is like, the least dramatic plot line of the entire show, and to illustrate this point, let me recommend to you the Halloween episode of season three. Haley comes back from her world (??) music tour and tries to reconnect with her husband, Nathan. She is a sophomore in high school. Lucas, also a sophomore in high school, tries to be exclusive with his f*ck buddy Brooke (baby Sophia Bush), and he believes his worthiness and willingness to commit must be proven via a killer Halloween costume. He chooses Tommy Lee. I think that says enough about how their relationship inevitably turns out.
Peyton, not being dramatic at all, decides to dress as an angel of death, and her father only gives a half-hearted shrug in protest to this alarming outfit choice. The episode culminates at a Halloween party at underage nightclub TRIC, where Fall Out Boy casually performs. Watching this episode live on air, my only question was, where I can I replicate the angel of death outfit to properly alarm my mother? Watching the episode as an adult has me asking quite a few more questions, like why is there so much leather during this underage party? Is it too late to call a hotline about Peyton’s obvious issues with depression? And what blackmail did The CW have on Fall Out Boy to get them to continually perform on this godforsaken show? THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer: “Halloween” (Season 2, Episode 6)
For those of you who are like, Buffy The Vampire Slayer? What’s that? SHAME ON YOU, YOUTHS. To educate you poor, misguided children, Buffy is iconic and, as far as I’m concerned, should be mandatory viewing in all schools, sort of like how that Romeo & Juliet movie from the 1960s was. The show follows Buffy, high school cool girl and avid scrunchie wearer, who eviscerates people with snarky one-liners by day and slays vampires by night. If anyone has a problem with that plot description, they can take it up with me and the pointy end of my stake, mmkay?
Any one episode will have enough monsters and vampires to feel like a Halloween special, but the Halloween episode from season two is truly something else. In an effort to seduce the vampire she has a crush on, Buffy dresses up like a girl from his youth: an early 1800s noblewoman. I took a similar tactic to impress the guy in Kappa Sig I dated by dressing up like a cheerleader one Halloween, complete with underwear that said “haze me” on the butt. To each their own I guess, Buffy! Things go amiss for Buffy and her friends when the owner of the Halloween store enchants everyone’s costume so that you transform into the thing or person you’ve dressed up as. Mayhem ensues. The episode is complete with treacherous wigs and even more treacherous English accents, and is an absolute must-watch.
The Office: “Costume Contest” (Season 7, Episode 6)
Like Parks & Rec, The Office has a LOT of Halloween episodes to choose from, but I think we can all agree that the one from season seven was the best. Pam raises the stakes of the annual costume contest by awarding the winner a Scranton book of coupons that could amount to $15,00o in savings. This leads the employees of Dunder Mifflin to think that the book is literally worth $15K and so everyone goes all out for the costume contest. Angela shows up in a naughty nurse outfit (lol I can’t wait to hear how she rationalizes that one to Jesus), Jim actually wears a costume, and Gabe is doing the most as Lady Gaga.
Stranger Things: “Trick or Treat, Freak” (Season 2, Episode 2)
Guys, is there literally anything in this world that’s cuter than watching 13-year-old nerds coordinate their group Halloween outfits?! I don’t f*cking think so. Stranger Things is fun to rewatch because it feels appropriately spooky and nostalgic, which is what Halloween is all about. Plus, at one point during the episode Nancy gets drunk at a costume party and yells at Steve. I’m sorry, but if drunkenly sobbing in a bathroom after fighting with your boyfriend isn’t a Halloween mood THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.
Gossip Girl: “The Witches of Bushwick” (Season 4, Eipside 9)
First of all, I forgot this episode of Gossip Girl even existed, let alone that it’s aptly titled “The Witches of Bushwick.” As a person who used to call Bushwick her
penance for past sins home, I can honestly say that there are, in fact, witches in this area of Brooklyn. Not to name names but there was a very suspicious incident at a vegan cafe wherein I mistakenly asked for creamer in my coffee and later became mysteriously ill. I’m just saying, it’s suspicious is all. The episode takes place at Chuck’s Saints and Sinners masquerade party at the Empire Hotel and it is PEAK Gossip Girl in terms of fashion and fighting. It’s a very Serena-heavy episode in the sense that Jenny and friends try to overthrow her while Nate and Dan both try and woo her. Also, Chuck and Blair are there and are perfect.
New Girl: “Keaton” (Season 3, Episode 6)
New Girl has always been the gift that keeps on giving for me, especially since I’ve always self-identified as having the spirit of a crotchety, 90-year-old man, in the same way that Nick Miller does. This is one of my all-time favorite episodes because we find out that Nick has been sending Schmidt fake messages from actor Michael Keaton FOR YEARS. Schmidt for some reason believes with his whole heart that the actor who plays Batman has been sending him supportive letters and emails for his entire life when in fact it’s been his mom and then roommate Nick writing the sage advice. I almost peed myself watching this episode—it’s that good.
These are the best Halloween episodes to re-watch in preparation for (or during) Halloween. If you don’t spend the next 3-6 hours watching this powerhouse lineup of television, I’ll be personally offended. Smell ya later!
Images: Giphy (5); Tenor (1); weheartit (1)
Sponsored by TRESemmé
Halloween is coming up—I shouldn’t have to tell you that. When it comes to Halloween, there are two types of girls: the ones who go all-out from head to toe and have been planning an elaborate costume since April of the year before, and the ones who literally can’t be bothered to do more than throw on a T-shirt and do a slightly different beauty routine. If you ask us, Halloween hair doesn’t get the respect it deserves. If done correctly, it can totally make your look for the night. Plus, it works for either type of Halloween enthusiast. Like, if you’re super into Halloween, your hairstyle obviously has to be incorporated into whatever costume you choose. If you DGAF, you can try one of these hairstyles and literally not change your outfit at all, and boom, you’re festive. We teamed up with TRESemmé to give you four hairstyle ideas to try this Halloween.
1. Space Princess Braids
You know the one! She’s from a galaxy far, far away and her brother is a very, um, solitary figure. Her hairstyle is easily the most recognizable thing about her, and luckily it’s not that hard to recreate the look yourself at home. Here’s how you do it:
- Part your hair in the middle and split your hair into 2 sections
- Create 2 pigtails right above your ears
- Braid your first pigtail and then coil the braid into a bun. Secure with bobby pins
- Repeat for the second pigtail
- Finish with TRESemmé TRES Two Freeze Hold Hair Spray so you can dance all night without your precious braids falling.
2. Space Buns
Even outside of Halloween, space buns are a good hairstyle to have in your arsenal of know-how because you can wear them to nights out, festivals, and… ok, that’s about it. Still, you can do space buns if you want to be an alien, a bear, a tiger, and just about any cat/animal. This is what you do:
- Part your hair in the middle and split your hair into 2 sections
- Create 2 pigtails high at the top of your head
- Tease your pigtails if you want more volume
- Twist your first pigtail away from your face and coil into a bun. Secure with a hair tie
- Repeat for the second bun
- Mix 3 tbp of TRESemmé TRES Two Extra Hold Gel with 1 tbsp of colorful glitter in a small bowl (it ain’t a costume without glitter)
- Apply glitter gel to your part, painting outwards, using a small paintbrush.
- Finish with TRESemmé TRES Two Extra Hold Hair Spray (again, you want those suckers to stay in place).
Ah, yes. The mermaid. It’s a popular choice, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Whether you’re going to craft your own seashell bra using real shells and hot glue (hi) or just put on a bikini top and call it a day, your look obviously won’t be complete without a fishtail braid. The fishtail braid is one of my favorites because it looks really intricate but it’s actually incredibly easy to do.
- Pull hair back into a ponytail
- Divide the ponytail into two smaller, equal-sized ponytails
- Separate a half-inch section of hair from the outside of the left ponytail
- Pull this piece across the top of the left ponytail over to the right ponytail
- Next, separate a half-inch section of hair from the outside of the right ponytail
- Pull this piece across the top of the right ponytail over to the left ponytail
- Repeat steps 3-6 until you run out of hair. That’s it!
- When you’re finished braiding, secure the ends with an elastic
- Finish with TRESemmé TRES Two Ultra Fine Hair Spray to lock in your style.
4. 50s Hair
We’re talking tight, bouncy curls reminiscent of a certain former ingenue who is transformed after a summer of lovin’. Throw on your favorite red lipstick, some black leggings or leather pants if you have them, and a black leather jacket (or pleather, we don’t judge here) and you’re dressy and comfortable. The curls may take a little more skill, so you might want to enlist a friend to help with this.
- Before blow drying, apply a heat protectant spray like the TRESemmé Thermal Creations Heat Tamer before styling. Trust us, you’ll thank us for this tip later.
- Curl hair in 1- to 2-inch sections and in different directions to create a more volume and texture
- After curling a strand, release the section and loosely pin the curl at the scalp to allow it to cool
- Once the entire head is curled, release the pins and gently brush through
- Apply TRESemmé Extra Hold Mousse to hair and scrunch through to add control and hold volume. Volume is key with this look!
- Pull the hair back on one side and finish with TRESemmé TRES Two Extra Hold Hair Spray
No matter what route you go with, TRESemmé products will hold your style in place all night and keep your hair looking good.
I live and die for Halloween. I recently told a few friends that I couldn’t make dinner plans Halloween weekend because, although I currently don’t have plans, if we’re not doing something that requires a costume, I am not going. And while I’ve had my costume planned for the last six months and I’m dying my hair blue for real just for the costume, I understand that not everyone loves Halloween as much as I do. Or like, even if they do, they might have actual real lives and things to do aside from planning one outfit half a year in advance (what’s that like?). But if you have a ton of other things to focus on, or just DGAF about buying an elaborate costume for Halloween, there are still options for you to look amazing that don’t require a ton of work. I found some cute options that are cheap, easy to throw together, and look like you actually care about the greatest day of the year.
I’ve seen this costume around for several years now and I think it’s such a cute idea. All you have to do is throw on a flannel and some overalls you probably already own, or even just mom jeans if overalls aren’t your thing. Get a cute straw hat or use your beach hat from the summer. Then the rest is just makeup. Load up on eyeliner, draw in a mouth, get some cheap drugstore black lipstick, and draw in an orange nose and cheeks. It’s so simple and really requires zero artistic ability, but looks really put-together.
2. A Mouse, Duh
Because the hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some sort of animal ears, you can throw together an easy costume that everyone will get with this hilarious “I’m a mouse, duh” shirt. Also, huge oversize shirts are so trendy right now that you’ll definitely be able to wear this post-Halloween too. Get some cute mouse years from Amazon or just make your own, pair with chic over the knee boots, and if you really want to sell it, you can draw on a little nose and whiskers. This costume is so comfortable you can literally just wear it straight to bed when you come home hammered.
3. Wednesday Addams
Wednesday Addams is an absolute classic and an easy costume for anyone. I’ve been Wednesday myself several times as an additional backup costume. This dress is super cute from Hot Topic and you’ll definitely be able to rewear it afterwards. To sell the Wednesday look, braid your hair in pigtails, do some dark makeup, and look morose. Costume finished!
I am obsessed with Stranger Things and Eleven’s new 80s look is perfect for a quick costume. I also definitely bought this shirt from Hot Topic just to wear in real life. Costume pieces you can actually rewear are the best. Not only is this outfit really easy to throw together, but to make sure you look like Eleven, put your hair half up with a scrunchie, draw in a nosebleed with lipstick, and carry around a box of Eggos. Not only will everyone get it, but it’s way cooler than the pink-dress version of Eleven that has been way overdone for the past few years. It also has the makings for a great group costume.
5. Where’s Waldo?
Do you have a red and white striped shirt? What about glasses? Then you can throw together a super easy Where’s Waldo costume. If you want to be an overachiever, get a matching beanie. You can even buy this cheap set from Amazon if you want to be extra about it. The nice thing about being Waldo for Halloween is it’s so recognizable and doesn’t require a bunch of makeup or styling. You can throw it on and be good to go. Plus, then you can photobomb random people’s pictures all night and be hilarious. I mean, that’s what I would do.
This is my favorite of the bunch. Just be dead. Literally dead. Not only do you get to wear a super comfy sweatshirt, but it’s so funny. I would pair it with a skirt and boots, and if you want to really go for it, do some ghostly dead girl makeup, too, complete with dark lipstick. Or you could just be like me and never, ever sleep. Then you’ll already have the dark circles and sunken-in look! Don’t forget the cold, dead look in your eyes that only comes from true exhaustion! Perfect!
Please post pics of your favorite last minute costumes in the comments!
Images: Hot Topic (2); Shop Betches (2); bangtsikitsiki / Instagram; Giphy (3)
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