IDC If The Pop Girlies Are Doing It — Please Don’t Get A Jellyfish Haircut

If you’ve ever looked at Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish, or Lady Gaga and thought, “Wow, these women could make even a burlap sack look good,” congratulations! You are correct. But even the most genetically blessed among us cannot escape the wrath of a bad haircut, and the jellyfish haircut is here to prove it.

Miley debuted her take on the trend at the Grammys, featuring chin-length layers in the front that looked like they were actively trying to escape the rest of her hair, which cascaded down her back in a completely different look. It was like someone cut her bangs, then just… kept going. Meanwhile, Billie, who originally revealed the look at the Fireaid Benefit Concert, decided to hide hers under a hat for the Grammys — perhaps even she regretted it?

The haircut first gained traction in 2022, with Nicole Kidman and Kerry Washington hopping on board, but it seems to be making its cursed return. And honestly, the fact that even these women can’t pull it off should tell you everything you need to know.

What’s The Jellyfish Haircut?

Image Credit: Getty Images

Picture this: You asked for a sleek bob, but the stylist just forgot to cut the bottom half of your hair. Or maybe they started cutting, got distracted by a text, and just… never finished? That’s the jellyfish haircut.

It’s essentially two haircuts in one — blunt, bobbed layers on top and long, limp strands on the bottom, meant to mimic the shape of a jellyfish. The result? A look that’s part “chic” (in theory) and part “I lost a bet.” It’s giving “accidental mullet,” but without any of the effortless coolness that an actual mullet provides.

Even worse, this cut relies on some serious styling to look remotely intentional. When it’s perfectly curled, color-treated, and photographed under the soft lighting of a celebrity event, maybe it works (actually, who am I kidding, it totally doesn’t). But the second you roll out of bed or get caught in a gust of wind? You’re left with a lopsided, chaotic mess that makes you look like you’re starring in a bad ‘90s teen movie.

The problem with the jellyfish cut is that it defies all logic. Most haircuts aim to frame the face, add volume, or create movement. This one? It just… exists. It’s like two hairstyles were battling for dominance, and instead of one winning, we all collectively lost. Even people who can normally pull off anything (Miley! Billie! Hello, fucking Kerry Washington) look like they let a Sims character cut their hair with the “random” button.

I’m all for bold hair choices, but if Miley — a woman who made a bleach-blonde buzzcut look hot — can’t save this style, what hope is there for the rest of us?