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The role of the model in popular culture is to remind us of our humanity. They’re like long, gorgeous rulers keeping the distance between earth and some luxe utopia where nothing does, indeed, taste as good as skinny feels and every door opens before you even knock. We watch them jetset from New York to the Maldives like it’s so casual, so blasé; our fascination endures.
When the pandemic forced countless brands to close their physical storefronts, online shopping became the way of the world. This illuminated the unsung ubiquity of the e-commerce model, who may not be plastered on your Pinterest boards, but who has gotten you through hard times in quiet whispers of “add to cart.” E-commerce models strike a unique balance between accessible and aspirational. Like, here are people who are paid to be hot, but we’re wearing the same outfits. It’s easier to see yourself in the e-commerce model. And to see ourselves in anyone, even in fragmented delusions, tends to strengthen our affinity.
If one retailer defines the millennial women’s online shopping experience, it’s Revolve. Got a wedding coming up? Revolve. Thirtieth birthday celebration in Miami? Revolve. New remote job that simply *requires* comfy-chic matching sets? Revolve.
Last June, a TikTok of a Revolve model went viral—screenshots of her posed in a variety of outfits set to Cardi B’s famous interview quote:
“I don’t even have time for my love life, to see my family, I don’t even have time for nothing. I’m working every single day. I’m depressed. I shouldn’t even be feeling that way.”
The comments section exploded in a collective a-ha moment. Who IS this woman we all see more than our own family? Then she went viral again last month on Instagram in a meme reading, “This girl really carries the weight of online shopping on her shoulders.” Nearly 100,000 likes on Instagram.
Meet Ludi Delfino, the Brazilian model and holistic health coach who’s stolen our hearts. Modeling for Revolve for over 10 years, Ludi is one of the most recognizable e-commerce models in the game.
I sat down with Ludi over Zoom to chat going viral, insecurity and the modeling industry, all things wellness, and everything in between. Spoiler: she even shares her current picks on Revolve for a little model off-duty inspo.
We’ll start with the most obvious. How did it feel going viral (twice!)?
It made me feel so good. I don’t think I read one bad comment, and it really made me feel great because there’s so much pressure on social media. Sometimes I get attacked for being too skinny. I had a personal trainer who posted a video of me and people went crazy saying I was sick and unhealthy. To see people recognizing me and saying positive things was amazing. The next day I was shooting for Revolve and everyone was making the best jokes about it.
I think we can all say, off the cuff, that you’re the face of Revolve. How did you get into the industry and to where you are now?
I was a teenager. My mom and dad put me in classes because I was so shy and had horrible posture. I was like, “hell no!” But then my cousin and I made it a little competition and stayed with it for those three months. I’m from a small town in Brazil, and this brought me to São Paulo. Then I started traveling, first to Asia, then to Europe, and then I came to the US. I’ve been here a good 13 years. At least 10 of those I’ve worked for Revolve.
So you’ve been this busy… for 10+ years!
Since going viral, people have DMed me asking if they Photoshop the outfits onto me. I’m like no, I actually shoot every outfit. During the pandemic, I was there for four months straight, five days a week. I was also graduating from my health coaching program. It really was like that TikTok, “I have no time for nothing.” I’m married, so luckily my husband was doing the cooking and keeping me healthy while I was working and studying.
Give me a quick rundown of a day with Revolve. What’s your routine?
I have a 5-minute journal that I love—I’ll write about gratitude and how I want my day to go. Quick shower. I always do lemon water and run out the door. Breakfast is usually overnight oats that I eat at work while I’m getting my hair and makeup done. At Revolve, we do big numbers. Today I shot 136 outfits. You have a 45-minute lunch, and then get touch-ups and keep shooting. I’m done by 4 which is nice, but then I have at least an hour drive, so I’m gone 10-11 hours. I listen to podcasts and my school stuff in the car. A lot of models won’t do e-commerce because it’s hard on your body, but I’m just so glad to be working.
I want to talk to you more about the holistic health coach aspect of your life. How did you get started on that journey?
I was inspired for many reasons. I lost my mom a few years ago to cancer. At the time, I tried helping her research ways to stay healthy, like avoiding sugar because it feeds cancer cells. I also tried to eat healthy while modeling when I was younger when things were harder with money. You’re traveling and they only give you, say, $200 a week to eat.
So I started my health coaching journey in 2020 during COVID. I had a bikini brand and we decided to shut down because it became too much with the pandemic. But I was just so used to working and being busy that I needed to pursue something else that I’m passionate about. I signed up with IIN. It’s online, but they’re based in New York and one of the best health coaching schools. It took a year to complete. There’s so much pleasure in helping people feel better and change their life. Now I’m working to become a personal trainer, too. Learning something new is always challenging, but this is hard because English isn’t my language. It’s translation on top of all the memorization. My goal is to offer full programs that include workouts.
What’s your favorite form of movement?
Pilates has changed my body. I also enjoy little 20 minute workouts from Alo Yoga, going on hikes, and I play volleyball pretty much every weekend. Volleyball was how I met my husband. I think if I’m not moving my body and working out, oh man, it’s tough. I feel like shit.
How has being a model and working in the fashion industry impacted your mental health?
Overall, it’s pretty harsh. People are judging you every day. In Japan, I was a little curvier. We’d go to a casting and they’d line us up and one time I heard them calling me overweight. Sometimes you feel like you’re never good enough. Even with things like skin; I’ll break out from tanning. Or they’ll comment on my hair, and I’m like, I’m blonde, and imagine having a hot iron in your hair five times a week. There will always be bad days, but I remind myself no one’s perfect and you don’t need to be. You still get to travel, meet amazing people, and wear great outfits.
What are your favorite qualities about yourself, one physical and one non-physical?
Once you get to know me I’m pretty funny and silly. I don’t take life too seriously. Physical, I like my legs. I always wish my butt was a little bit bigger but then I wouldn’t want my legs to change!
What’s something people might be surprised to learn about you?
That I eat.
What’s your favorite food?
For indulgence, a burger. I’m doing a gut protocol right now, so I can’t have beef. But I usually eat healthy. I have three meals a day and maybe a snack or shake. When we go out to eat, I have to have sushi. At home, I love grilled steak, shiitake mushrooms, and broccolini. I also love avocado toast. My weakness is chocolate. A brownie.
Pandemic-related or not, what’s a realization you’ve had in the past year that’s impacted your outlook on life?
The importance of being connected with people. Hugging people, kissing people. We’re talking about health, how eating badly can cause disease, but loneliness causes disease, too. I’m blessed to be married and have my husband. But not everyone has that. We need friends and closeness.
Do you go out much?
Fuck going out, I’d rather sleep. *laughs* I went to a party for the Super Bowl and I was like, “What am I doing here?” I’d rather enjoy my day playing volleyball on the beach than be hungover. Sleep is so important. I get my eight hours. My husband and I joke about who’s going to get to sleep when we start having kids.
Do you have a nighttime routine?
I’ll eat, clean, prep juice for the next day. With school, I come back to the guest room and study. I try 30-40 minutes before sleep to avoid screens. I read a book or journal which really helps.
Are you a coffee drinker? If so, how do you take it?
I am. I’m obsessed. In this gut protocol, I did a bunch of testing to show what’s good for your microbiome. I got the results and coffee was on my avoid list. When I do drink coffee, I love a touch of almond milk or coconut creamer. I could go the rest of my life without chocolate or anything as long as I could have my coffee.
How would you describe your personal style?
I like to be cool, but I like to be sexy. I love a good crop top to show my abs. A good pair of jeans and a blazer. I also live in sweatpants. I work with Alo Yoga so I have all their stuff.
Your bathroom’s on fire and you can only save five beauty products. Go!
Coconut oil. It’s good for everything, like removing eye makeup and oil pulling. I actually had to stop putting it on my body because I was getting oil marks all over the walls. Native deodorant. I’ve tried so many natural deodorants and this is the one that works for me. Indie Lee toner. It makes my face feel so refreshed and clean. Beauty by Earth face self-tanner; it’s a natural brand. My face is so much lighter than my body and this saves me. And this concealer from Kosas, I could not live without.
And lastly, what are your picks on Revolve right now?
1. Verona Straight Leg Pants, JONATHAN SIMKHAI STANDARD
2. Ida Tee Ab X To Kate Moss Tee, Anine Bing
Image: Revolve; @takeyourzoloft / Twitter
Presented by SkinnyPop
Hello and welcome back to the best Bachelor recap you’ll ever read! Every Monday I tell myself that this will be the Monday that I cut ties with this disease-ridden franchise and do something for myself. The things I would do with those two hours back in my life! I could download a workout video! I could watch that workout video while eating Cheetos by the handful in bed! I could take a nap! Re-watch Criminal Minds in its entirety for the third time! The possibilities are truly endless, and yet, every Monday I find myself coming back for more. Sighs. It’s nice to dream though, isn’t it?
Moving on. When last we left off, ABC had just delivered a jam-packed three-hour episode, and it was a little disconcerting tbh. When ABC declares an episode will be “dramatic” I’m conditioned to understand that this means I will be forced to endure no less than an hour and 50 minutes worth of meaningless fluff and 10 minutes of footage that makes me so uncomfortable that I want to disintegrate into my couch. It’s diabolical. But last week, ABC truly delivered. Not only did we get to see the night one rose ceremony, but we also got to see a group date, a one-on-one date, AND the beginnings of a second group date! We saw so much footage I was nervous I had somehow slipped and hit my head and this was all some kind of crazy fever dream.
Which brings us to this week: Hannah Brown is crying in a closet because her ex might actually be moving on from her. This is, like, 90 percent of the time why I cry at bars (the other 10 percent is because I know my dog is too good for me), so I feel for her, I really do. Peter asks Hannah if she’d be willing to give them a second shot. He would like to date her but also the 20+ other women he’s contractually obligated to give the time of day. What’s terrifying is that Hannah is actually, like, considering this change in events?? I’m not sure what sort of new low you need to reach as a person to consider not only taking back your ex but ACTIVELY competing for his love with an entire pledge class worth of girls, but Hannah, blink once if you need me to call a hotline for you.
PETER: You should have told me not to be The Bachelor. I never said no to you, you’re the one who said no to me.
Hannah’s like “can I give you a hug, Peter?” and okay, that’s more of a hug than I would give my grandmother, Hannah!! You guys, she just curled up into his lap like a goddamn cat! Her hand is on his thigh! His head is in her lap! This is the most personal thing I’ve ever witnessed on this show, and I’m so uneasy about it. ABC is too, I think, because they keep flipping back and forth between Peter tearfully stroking Hannah’s back like he just learned she has a terminal illness, to the rest of the women as they talk about which sex position will get the most slaps during their performance.
Honestly, can they just be together and be done with it?? I know I’m not supposed to root for Hannah Brown but MY GOD you can’t deny sparks like that. And look, I know, I know, that Hannah will not be back at this house. She still has to finish out Dancing with the Stars and Peter signed a contract to be the next Bachelor (like it or not), but I’m really really rooting for these two. Their connection is palpable.
Hell has frozen over because I agree with Colton about something.
Hannah decides that maybe—lol, this is so random honestly—but maybe this is less about Peter and more about Hannah not wanting her ex to move on before she does. Lol SO random. Meanwhile, the look Peter gives the camera when he ultimately realizes they need to part ways is more on par with a prisoner of war then a man who has to go back and seduce a room full of cosmetically-enhanced superwomen. I feel for you, Peter, I do.
Peter tells the women that he can’t go through with the rest of this date, that he needs to process his emotions, and the women look far too upset about the fact that they won’t have to talk about the one time they tried edible underwear and got a yeast infection from it. Ladies don’t look so down, this is a good thing!!
PETER: I’m sorry, but let’s just reconvene later. I need to go emotionally masturbate to my relationship with Hannah right now. You understand?
Oh, they understand. Especially the 31-year-old who is PISSED about this whole Hannah B thing. She breaks the cardinal rule of this show by talking sh*t to the Bachelor early on. Doesn’t she realize that snitches get stitches on here?! This is like, rule #1 of this show. She tells Peter that he shouldn’t be working out his personal issues with his exes on this show, and I feel like she’s missing the entire point of The Bachelor.
The rest of the girls decide to put the Hannah thing behind them and move forward in their relationships with Peter. There’s talk about “strengthening bonds,” which I’m to take actually means aggressive makeouts and extreme heavy petting because there is a lot of that going on in this room.
Sydney gets the group date rose after she and Peter bond over both being biracial. Sydney admits growing up in the South as a person of color was pretty hard and that she experienced a lot of bullying and discrimination. It’s heartfelt and genuine and I’d love to see more from her. Meanwhile, Peter admits to salsa dancing that one time with his parents in the kitchen. Christ.
Rose Ceremony Champagne Crisis Of 2020
Moving on to the rose ceremony. Peter starts things off by letting the women know he is absolutely 100% not into Hannah anymore and then proceeds to say her name no less than 12 times in the span of five minutes. Methinks the pilot doth protest too much…
The night starts off on a low note when Peter’s first conversation is with a girl who he remembers because she is the token redhead… but this is all he remembers.
TOKEN REDHEAD: I had the red car on night one? Red hair, red car. Remember?
PETER: I… remember production has been making me carry around these car keys for the last week and now that’s starting to make sense.
Meanwhile, no one is more upset at this rose ceremony than Kelsey. She’s worried that Peter won’t remember her and she’ll be sent home this week and it’s like, honey, don’t sell yourself short. No one is going to be able to forget those beached whale sobs that have been coming out of your mouth all evening.
But Kelsey has a plan! And that plan involves a bottle of champagne she brought all the way from her hometown’s Costco for this very occasion. We learn that she’s been saving this bottle of champagne for *checks notes* an entire year. I’m sorry, but A YEAR?! That bottle looks suspiciously like it might be Korbel to me. I’m going to assume that won’t age well.
Wow, Peter is just full of gifts tonight. During some alone time with Madison he gives her a framed photo of the two of them from his parents’ vow renewal ceremony. I have concerns. A framed photo after one date feels like something only a serial killer would gift you right before they plot your death. On the other hand, when they inevitably break up in a few weeks, this will make for some nice kindling when she goes to burn all his sh*t. But, like, memories too.
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Elsewhere, Hannah Ann walks into a straight-up bear trap. She and Peter happen upon Kelsey’s bottle of André just like production told them to. They decide to pop it and all of Kelsey’s dreams.
HANNAH ANN: *pops champagne*
ME TO MY DOG, ALONE IN MY LIVING ROOM:
The pop heard ‘round the world!
Okay, is Kelsey ACTUALLY confronting Hannah Ann to Peter’s face?! Kelsey, honey, baby, sweetie, you never EVER make a scene in front of the lead! This is the kiss of death! A man doesn’t want to see that you have emotions unless those emotions involve a fantasy suite and a windmill, mmkay!!
Peter tries to calm Kelsey down and it’s like watching a handler at the zoo try and comfort a manic depressive koala. He suggests that they pop a new bottle of champagne together, preferably one that hasn’t been sitting in the glove compartment of Kelsey’s car for the last year.
KELSEY: You’re right, I’m so sober rn I could use a drink.
YOU GUYS I AM F*CKING DEAD. DECEASED. LOWER ME INTO MY GRAVE NOW BECAUSE I’LL NEVER SEE ANYTHING BETTER THAN THAT 15 SECONDS OF FOOTAGE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
When that bottle of champagne spews all over Kelsey’s tear-stained face, a part of me that I thought was long-since dead came back to life. Thank you, ABC. That was truly magical.
And that moves us to the rose ceremony. Peter starts things off by saying that his wife is in the room but, like, I don’t see Hannah B anywhere in that room, sooo?
WHAT. KELSEY GETS A ROSE?! When did acting like a drunken psycho suddenly become behavior worth rewarding? No, seriously, when? Because last weekend when I drunkenly snapped at my ex, all it got me was shame, regret, and some new dick pics. Definitely not any roses, though.
Welcome to the loser’s club, Courtney, Lauren, and Payton, because you’re all going home this week.
The Group Date
For the group date this week, the women will be modeling for Revolve. This feels very meta to me. What’s next? A competition to see who can build the best presets? When the women learn that the winner of Revolve’s Next Top Model will get more than just Peter’s attention, but an entire store’s worth of merchandise? It’s the first time I’ve seen any of them express true happiness. You love to see it.
Meanwhile, Victoria (not Hot Victoria but the other Victoria) is having a hard time with this date. She wants Peter’s attention but doesn’t want to compete with a room full of Instagram’s hottest women to get it. Again, was she not aware of what this show would entail?
Christ. Watching Peter strut his stuff down the runway is making my reproductive organs shrivel up and die. Case in point:
Okay, the women literally just picked out what they’re wearing to Stagecoach this year. I can’t.
For all of Victoria’s moaning about not being confident and being an insecure wallflower, she is OOZING sex appeal on this catwalk. I mean, her evening “look” is literally just lingerie underneath Keanu’s coat from The Matrix.
VICTORIA: I feel, like, noticed.
Well, I can practically see your areola, so I certainly hope so.
Though Victoria places in the top two, ultimately Hannah Ann wins Revolve’s Next Top Model, which tracks because I’m pretty sure she is actually a model for Revolve. She gets to go home with a trunk full of new clothes, while Victoria gets to go home knowing her grandmother has seen her get groped by a commercial airline pilot in a dingy room with neon uplighting. Everyone’s a winner.
Victoria takes these insecurities into the cocktail portion of the date by immediately crying to Peter. She keeps saying how hard this process is and how hard she’s trying to get his attention and how hard this whole experience has been for her. Do you want to know what’s really going to be hard, Victoria? The thesaurus I throw at you so you can learn a goddamn synonym.
“I don’t know if you’re worth my mental health”— something I will be telling my manager during my next performance review.
Kelsey grabs Peter next, and she is looking awfully confident for a girl who, less than 24 hours ago, took a champagne shower on national television. And what do you know! She’s drinking champagne again with Peter! She’s nothing if not on brand.
Hannah Ann decides that being gifted an entirely new wardrobe is not enough and she would prefer to collect her winnings through the pain and suffering of her enemies. I can relate. She tells Peter that she’s being bullied by Kelsey, which feels like a lie mostly because Kelsey has either been crying or passed out for the majority of this episode. I’d like to see those receipts, Hannah Ann.
KESLEY: That’s two nights where I haven’t cried!
KELSEY AFTER SHE HEARS HANNAH ANN CALLED HER A BULLY:
Victoria gets the group date rose and it’s totally because she was honest and vulnerable with Peter and not at all because if he looked close enough he could see a nipple through that runway outfit of hers. So sweet.
Just as the episode is wrapping up, Peter pulls Kelsey aside to confront her about the bullying thing. He feels about as comfortable in that role as Chris Harrison did explaining giving Colton “the talk.” Kelsey says that she’s been bullied before—hello Peter, did you even SEE what happened with her Walgreen’s champagne the other night?!—and this is not it. We’ll have to wait until next week to see if Peter sides with Hannah Ann or the woman who won’t stop crying in public restrooms. Only time will tell!
Images: ABC/Eric McCandless; Giphy (6)
I’m sure that with all your upcoming beach weekends you’ve already began swimsuit shopping. However, I’m not so sure that you’ve started shopping for the other v important beach essential, a great cover-up. And like, cover-ups are just as important, if not more. Hear me out.
It’s not just about what you’re wearing to and from the beach. Cover-ups also serve as your “outfit” when going to the bar for happy hour post-beach. Cause, tbh, once you start drinking at happy hour, the likelihood you’ll want to go home, shower, and change just to go back out is slim. And luckily, since it’s summer, you’re not expected to be at the bar each night in your best club attire. You really don’t need to go home and change if you reallllly don’t want to. (Which like, feels.) But you also can’t get away with wearing a blatant beach cover-up still once it’s 7pm. All that being said, here are some cover-ups that can pass for a casual beach outfit so you don’t have to interrupt your day drinking buzz.
1. MINKPINK Mahi Oversized Shirt & Cuffed Short
This button-up and shorts set is the perfect cover-up outfit combo for both on and off the beach. It’s lightweight, with a neutral stripe print that makes it totally suitable for the beach. Yet, it’s also nice enough to wear as an actual outfit to the bar. Not to mention, both pieces individually will make excellent versatile additions to your beach weekend wardrobe. They can easily be worn separately or together, and still be super cute both ways.
2. Solid & Striped Shift Cover-Up Mini Dress
This striped cover-up dress could easily just pass for a cute summer mini dress. It’s ideal for that post-work week Friday afternoon when you know you’ll want to hit the beach for an hour before heading to happy hour right after. This dress is pretty much your new ride-or-die drinking buddy. Wear it over a strapless swimsuit and no one will have any clue you actually just went straight from the beach to a night-long personal bar tour. Well, unless you take a little too much advantage of those early happy hour deals, then your stumbling might just give you away.
3. Beach Riot Ruby Top & Jasper Skirt
Sure, you might look a bit extra wearing this onto the beach. But being extra is “in” (at least I think it is, according to memes on Instagram). You’ll look totally flawless hitting the bar in this set after a full beach day lounging in the sun. Realistically, you could even just wear the skirt with your bikini top onto the beach, and then just pack the top to slip on before you head to the bar after. It’s basically the perfect set to accommodate your vacation agenda of beach, then booze.
4. L*Space Riri Jumpsuit
This striped linen jumpsuit from one of my fav swim brands, L*Space, is the epitome of a beach-to-bar outfit. Again, you can easily wear it over a strapless swimsuit and no one will have any clue you still have your bikini on underneath. As long as you don’t have one of those obnoxious backpack beach chairs on your shoulder as your accessory, everyone will totally believe you changed into this cute jumpsuit specifically to go out for the night!
5. House of Harlow 1960 x REVOLVE Capistrano Dress
This loose-fitting dress is stylish and chic, and just like the aforementioned sets, works just as well on the beach as it does off the beach. It’s casual and lightweight enough to be worn as a cover-up, yet polished and stylish enough that no one would think twice about you wearing it post-swim. You could even toss some heeled sandals in your beach bag to switch into before the night’s festivities, and voilà!
I get that these cover-up options aren’t exactly cheap, especially if you usually get yours from Marshalls for $14.99. However, these are more than just cover-ups; they all work as actual outfits. So even if you aren’t necessarily wearing it from the beach to the bar as suggested, you could easily wear it as a casual summer outfit just as well. Plus, I’m going to go ahead and assume that these ones are all a hell of a lot cuter than the one you got from Marshalls (no shade, just stating the facts). But again, that’s just a hunch, like, what do I know???
Images: Seth Doyle / Unsplash; Revolve (2); Nordstrom; Shopb0p (2)
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For today’s Photoshop Fail, I was sent this horrible, horrible photo from Revolve. Look, I love to shop online. I love avoiding the store—no lines, no wearing pants, and no carrying heavy bags. The only true flaw of online shopping is when OnTrac holds your packages hostage but says it’ll be delivered “tomorrow” and then does this for 10 days. Okay, there are two flaws. The second is that it’s impossible to know what looks good on you without trying it on. It doesn’t help when websites use superhumanly thin models that are also 10 feet tall as a gauge of what it looks like. Some brands are on it, and show clothing on a variety of body types and do minimal editing. But most tend to do what I’m about to show you. This is one of those things that gives women unrealistic expectations for their bodies. They will hire extremely thin models and then edit them to make them even thinner. Like, what? The thinnest women in the world are not thin enough for you still? Here is the offending photo that is the subject of today’s Photoshop fail:
There are so many fails with this, it’s hilarious and also very sad for women on a whole. As if we’re not dealing with enough right now. The first thing is that she is airbrushed absolutely everywhere—which is pretty typical and IMO totally pointless. Even worse and terribly common, is that her body has been cut down EVERYWHERE. You can tell because she has soft, blurry edges. If you look at a real photo of a person, you have hard edges, because your arm or whatever does not blur into the background. Since this is a pure white background, it’s normal to “cut out” the model to get rid of what was behind her, but they went into her body too far to make her look thinner. Also? NEVER use a soft, airbrush eraser on hard edges. Here it is close up of what I mean:
You can especially see the sloppy erasing where her wrist connects, but the soft edges are pretty much everywhere. Then they went and shaved down her rib cage too, because women aren’t allowed to have ribs in today’s society. It actually looks like they made the stomach lines too soft so they went back and drew in a VERY crude outline in an attempt to fix it:
It’s like some asshole took the brush tool and just drew back a hard edge on her stomach? It looks like he traced her with a marker? SO, so sloppy. But hey, if even the super thin model needs to be erased out and then drawn back in to fit into today’s standards, that just shows that you should NEVER feel bad that something doesn’t look the same on the model as it does on you.
To compare what an unedited person looks like, Modcloth doesn’t do excessive editing to their models. I say “excessive” because I’m sure they fix lighting, color, and maybe get rid of a pimple or two here and there. But just look at the difference:
ModCloth x Dupenny The Geena High-Waisted Bikini Bottom
Four for you, Modcloth, you go, Modcloth. This model has hard edges everywhere, none of which look like they were drawn back in with a Sharpie. This is most likely the model’s true body and how the swimsuit looks on a real person. This is what everyone should do—just dress your models in flattering cuts! If they wanted to cut out the background, they could start cutting outside of her body lines, not shaving parts of it away with a soft brush the way Revolve has.
These issues are the least of this poor model’s problems though. This very thin woman does not seem to have large breasts. Apparently that’s not okay with Revolve, because they decided to do this to her:
I actually laughed out loud when I saw this. Can you see the problem? In an attempt to give her breasts when she clearly does not have large ones, they used the Burn tool to shade in huge lumps on top of her chest. This is so poorly done, because the only way to get top of boob lines is if you’re pushing up your breasts or have implants. In either case, you would have cleavage. Which she doesn’t. So they’ve only truly succeeded in giving her some scary, half-assed pecs. Which, again, would still have some kind of central line cleavage. It looks so much worse than—gasp—a woman with small breasts.
However, we’re not even done. Let me introduce the TRUE STAR of today’s Photoshop fail.
Quick question: Does that look natural to you? That just isn’t how your thighs/butt work. It doesn’t connect with a line through part of it like these are separate pieces sewn together. This is the part that jumped out to me immediately that something was off here. Also? How saggy would her butt need to be for you to see it through her thighs and hanging down the back? It makes zero anatomical sense.
It looks like she didn’t have a thigh gap, so they put one in. In an attempt to make it look less like they cut a rectangle out of her vagina (looking at you, Target), they cut down her thighs but left that weird top portion. That is her true thigh width. Then they cut in some white lines on either side to make it look like a separate piece. It doesn’t make any sense though, because if this was truly her butt cheek, it wouldn’t be highlighted, it would have shadows. They literally put white divider lines around it so it didn’t look attached to her thigh. Also? Your butt is attached to your thigh, you just wouldn’t see it at this angle, unless you have an extremely saggy butt. The result looks more like she has some weird inner thigh tumor. Apparently tumors are now better than having your thighs touch in today’s fashion. Who knew?
Hopefully this opens your eyes to how full of sh*t our models and advertising are. Don’t compare yourself to these images, they are generally all lies. It’s okay that you don’t have an inner thigh tumor in your photos. It’s okay to be flat-chested and not have superhero top pecs. You do you.
As most people do, I have a love-hate relationship with Coachella. Every year, I find myself scrolling through Instagram, complaining about how Coachella is basically just Disneyland for influencers, and a way for Vanessa Hudgens to cling to relevance for two weeks a year. Instead of flying across the country and lighting all my money on fire, I prefer to celebrate Couchella. For those wondering, “Couchella” is the fun way of saying “eating a ton of junk food and wallowing in self-loathing as I scroll Instagram and half pay attention to reruns of The Office.”
As much fun as Couchella is, it can get a little depressing by weekend two. But don’t worry, because now we’ve turned Coachella into an opportunity for comedy and drunkenness, with a special game of Coachella Bingo. Tell everyone in the group chat to come over, because you have some serious Instagram stalking to do. Let’s get to the game.
- To play, don’t bother printing out the Coachella Bingo card. Save the trees and yada yada yada, but also I don’t know a single person who owns a printer anymore. Just screenshot the sheet and use the markup feature on your phone to put X’s on the spot.
- Take a shot every time you finish a line. This will almost make it feel like you’re at Coachella, except you have cell phone signal, and you also don’t have to share a bed with six other people in an Airbnb.
- When you get blackout (both on the bingo card and from drinking), the prize is that you don’t have to risk sharing a toilet seat with Bella Thorne or Jax Taylor, you don’t have to deal with creepy dudes trying to proposition you for port-a-potty sex, and you don’t have worry about being in shape for a half-clothed Insta for at least two more months. It’s the small things in life.
Just some quick notes on squares that may cause some confusion:
- Someone who is too old to be at Coachella: any Real Housewife, or any guy who is actually old enough to be your father.
- Changing into a bikini does not count as an outfit change so long as you don’t wear it to the festival, but it counts if you change into an outfit after.
- Villains from The Bachelor who the rest of the cast refuses to hang out with do NOT count as seeing a girl gang from The Bachelor. They will, however, fall under the umbrella of fake Revolve sponsorship and/or Diff Eyewear.
- Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriends only count if he bought them a hybrid car or dated them during his Oscar campaign to make it seem like he will get married someday to pander to the Academy. Leo sleeps with everyone, so knowing which flavor Juul pod he uses when he vapes during sex does NOT count as being his girlfriend.
- Getting wayyyy too tan can count as cultural appropriation if you need it to.
- Pretending to be sponsored by Boohoo, VICI, or Fashion Nova counts as pretending to be sponsored by Revolve
And that’s it! Happy hate-stalking, and see you next year!
Okay so obviously we all know I hate paying a lot of money for clothes. I’d rather spend my hard-earned cash on more important things, like $50 Ubers and vodka sodas for the entire bar when I’m drunk. The catch here is that I love being fashion-forward and trendy but also cheap AF. Life is so hard. I always find myself laying in bed scrolling through websites like Revolve and Shopbop and wanting everything—but not being able to afford it. Don’t worry, though. I’ve found pieces that look EXACTLY like Revolve, but for less. Vodka sodas for everyone!
Revolve Look #1: Cropped Denim Jacket
Cotton Citizen Super Crop Denim Jacket
I’m always searching for a good cropped denim jacket, but I’m not about to give my first born to pay for it. This one is from Revolve for the really reasonable price of $425. IS THIS A JOKE? I found the exact jacket on Zara for $50, so save that extra cash for… IDK, anything else! I paired it with a sweatshirt dress, chain belt, and my favorite sock booties.
Zara authentic denim jacket
Revolve Look #2: Utility Jumpsuit
My next look is a jumpsuit. I love to wear jumpsuits literally everywhere. They’re great for traveling, nights out, and especially when you’re doing nothing. Revolve has one for $248. GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT.
Michael Stars utility jumpsuit
I found one on Pretty Little Thing for $38, so you’re welcome. When it comes to styling this jumpsuit, I put a bodysuit on underneath and unbuttoned the jumpsuit a little. That way I avoid looking like I know a lot about how to change your car’s oil. I paired it with sock booties and silver hoop earrings I got from Gemmed Jewels, which also has jewelry for less. I’m a sucker for a good hoop earring. it can take your outfit from day to night real quick.
Pretty Little Thing khaki utility jumpsuit
Revolve Look #3: Culottes
My last look is these new trendy culotte pants everyone seems to be wearing. I was skeptical about them at first, but I’m a follower so I bought them. Sorry, mom. Culottes are great for the weather change and to wear to work or on a Saturday when you’re pretending to look like an adult. Revolve has them for $194, no thank you.
Rachel Pally twill James pant
I found them on the American Apparel website for $68—a little pricier than I like to spend, but if they’re pants I can wear over and over to the office, then I guess I’ll spend it. I paired this look with a crop top and clear mules from Zara that I now live in. I also threw on a translucent raincoat, because apparently, these are really in style now.
American Apparel twill pleated pant
Hope you and your bank account enjoy these looks for less!
Images: Revolve (3); Maya Media (3)
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
Look out Goop, Revolve is on its way to take your spot as the least relatable brand on the planet. In their latest “wait, what?” moment, Revolve released, and subsequently removed a sweatshirt with the quote “Being fat is not beautiful, it’s an excuse.” Obviously, the internet was quick to call them out for their sh*tty decision making, because this isn’t 2007 anymore and graphic tees with questionable slogans being sold at Abercrombie is no longer a thing that anyone has time for. *Kourtney Kardashian voice* There’s people that are dying. Oh and, just to make this more of a face palm situation, Lena Dunham, Cara Delevingne and a bunch of other models are involved. Because, of course.
Luckily, queen of shade Tess Holliday snagged some receipts and publicly called out Revolve before the sweatshirt was taken down.
LOLLLLL @REVOLVE y’all are a mess. pic.twitter.com/CrzOkd5oE4
— Tess Holliday ???? (@Tess_Holliday) September 12, 2018
According to Fashionista, the product was one of five sweatshirts that were created in a collection for LPA. Each one included something terrible that was said to Lena Dunham, Emily Ratajkowski, Cara Delevingne, Suki Waterhouse and Paloma Elsesser (who was the one told that being fat is not beautiful, it’s an excuse). It was meant to be a campaign addressing cyberbullying, as exhibited by the barely visible Instagram handles on the sweatshirts and literally nothing else. Like, seriously, someone actually thought it was a good idea to create that sweatshirt, throw it on a thin model, and not explain the point behind it. Smart!
In the most on-brand statement of her life, Lena Dunham posted this painting to her Instagram with a long caption explaining the intention behind the collection while distancing herself from the project and announcing donation to the charities of Emily, Cara, Suki and Paloma’s choices. She also called out Revolve and suggested they cough up some money to try and fix this mess. Revolve later told People that it would be making a $20,000 contribution to Girls Write Now, the charity that the collaboration was originally intended to benefit.
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For months I’ve been working on a collaboration with LPA through parent company @revolve – sweatshirts that highlight quotes from prominent women who have experienced internet trolling & abuse. This is a cause very close to my heart and the proceeds were meant to benefit charities that help young women by empowering them to express themselves through writing and art. Without consulting me or any of the women involved, @revolve presented the sweatshirts on thin white women, never thinking about the fact that difference and individuality is what gets you punished on the Internet, or that lack of diversity in representation is a huge part of the problem (in fact, the problem itself.) As a result, I cannot support this collaboration or lend my name to it in any way. I am deeply disappointed in @revolve’s handling of a sensitive topic and a collaboration rooted in reclaiming the words of internet trolls to celebrate the beauty in diversity and bodies and experiences that aren’t the industry norm. *** I’d like to especially extend my love and support to @palomija, whose quote was the first to be promoted and mangled. She’s a hero of mine. Like me, she gave her quote in good faith and shared her vulnerability in order to support arts education and to spread her message of empowerment, and she wasn’t consulted in the marketing. Not an ounce of negativity should be sent her way. *** My only goal on this planet is to empower women through art and dialogue. I’m grateful to every woman who shared a quote and so disappointed that our words were not honored. As a result, I will be making a donation to the charity of every woman’s choice who was wronged with me and I hope that @revolve will join me with a contribution of their own. *** P.S. This Rubens painting makes me happy because it’s about women joining in love, but he didn’t recognize diversity at all- he just loved curvy butts. Problematic fave.
I’m pretty conflicted here. I mean, the intention behind the collaboration definitely sounds cool as like, an initial idea. It kind of reminds me of every time I’ve ever been like, “oh my god, I have an idea for an app/podcast/other sizable project I’m going to realize is a bad idea once I start actually thinking it through.” Like, yeah it would be great to have a collection of clothing that addresses internet trolling. But maybe, Revolve, using a skinny model and selling a sweatshirt that says “Being fat is not beautiful, it’s an excuse” is a miss, considering I can’t imagine anybody except hateful fat-shamers who would dare wear this shirt out in public? IDK, I’m not a professional! Also, if a sweatshirt needs a long-winded explanation to not appear as offensive, maybe it’s just offensive.
Images: tess_holliday / Twitter; lenadunham / Instagram
If you simply have an Instagram account, chances are you’ve seen pics from one of Revolve’s iconic influencer getaways. These exclusive trips, only for a select group of top influencers, are luxurious af and insanely glamorous. These trips are all hosted in exotic locations that have effortlessly gram-worthy aesthetics. Not to mention, the influencers on these trips get gifted amazing clothes and are even paid to attend the trip. Like, HOW is that real life?!?!? I mean, f*ck a 9-to-5! Nothing makes me hate my life more than knowing there are girls out there being paid to go on vacation, dress up in trendy clothes, and take fabulous Instagram pics. Like, fingers crossed I come back in my second life as a Revolve influencer. Being that this all sounds like an actual ~dream job~, I’ve done some investigating into exactly what these trips entail. Here’s what I found out about Revolve getaways.
Short answer: the “it” girls of the moment. The guests at Revolve getaways range from fashion bloggers, like Danielle Bernstein of WeWoreWhat, to former Bachelor contestants, like Amanda Stanton. Basically, you need be stylish and have a celebrity-level following to even be considered as a potential candidate. From my observations, it seems that Revolve usually takes about 12 influencers with them per trip. (But somehow it seems like every person on Earth is going but me. Doesn’t add up.)
Where Are They?
The location of these Revolve getaways is constantly changing. Essentially, the trips are always going to be hosted somewhere with an aesthetically pleasing scenery, aka places that have the perfect background for a fire Instagram. Some past destinations include: Thailand, Hamptons, Ibiza, Croatia, and Bermuda.
What Do Influencers Actually Do On These Trips?
Well, mainly just look hot and take pictures. Upon arrival, influencers are given itineraries that include several dinners and outings that they’re expected to attend. Some of these events may even be brand specific. Meaning, they’re trying to build content to promote a specific brand at that moment, so they ask the influencers to dress in that brand specifically. Beyond the extravagant dinners and activities, some of the trips also include parties and concerts. Which, as expected, always include an “of the moment” performer.
Why Does Revolve Do These Trips?
Because it gets them TONS of publicity and therefore makes them A LOT of money. In October of 2017, WWD reported that “over 70% of overall sales at Revolve were driven by an influencer.” And, as lavish as these trips are, they’re still cheaper than the more traditional media advertising options. But, even so, these trips have proven to have an even greater return on investment for Revolve’s target audience.
Do People Who Go On Revolve Getaways Get Free Clothes?
Oh, yeah. According to “a source close to the talent”, the influencers on these trips are usually allotted a $2,000 clothing credit. Seriously? It’s time I re-examine my life choices up to this point, because clearly being an influencer is the job to have.
Images: Giphy (2)