The Real Housewives of New York City, affectionately known as RHONY, is a staple amongst Housewives fans. It’s known for the silliness, directness, and overall cohesiveness of its cast. However, viewers like myself have felt a void for the past few seasons, especially with the current one. The vibe just seems off, and it’s not for one particular reason or cast member. To be frank with you, RHONY has been on the decline for a while. It’s not that the show is necessarily boring, because there wouldn’t be so much social media conversation surrounding it if it were. However, there seems to be something missing with this season, and it’s been subtly happening for some time now. So the question that is on everyone’s mind is, what exactly is wrong with RHONY? Let’s take a deep dive into how the casting, direction of production, and the lack of resolution has put the show in an awkward place.
Chemistry
The cohesiveness of RHONY’s cast is what initially set it apart from other Housewives franchises. At its peak, the core cast members seemed to be an actual friend group, even if they were not necessarily friends before the show. The women would hang out when the cameras went down and when the show was in off-season. They would even grab dinner together after going in on each other at reunion. It made their on-screen chemistry absolutely fantastic and gave us arguably the best seasons of RHONY (7-10). I’ve never watched Sex and the City (and I probably won’t, so please don’t start), but I feel like they gave real-life SATC vibes: women with ambition who know how to have a good time.
And then, there was a shift. While The Real Housewives is supposed to depict women who are part of the same friend group, we know this is not the case anymore, especially for franchises that have been on for years. These women are hired to be friends, and honestly, they show it more and more as the season progresses. There’s no way in hell that the five main cast members on the show would hang out in real life. Ramona, Luann, and Sonja are used to their Upper East Side bubble. Leah and Eboni are used to dealing with women like the other three, but they don’t have enough in common to form a genuine friendship.
In essence, it feels like we’re watching two shows, one about women who like to have fun on the Upper East Side and another about women who have influence on NYC and its culture. They’re both amazing groups of women, but they all give off the vibe that they are contractually obligated to hang out with one another, and that makes for a disastrous season of Housewives. This is why you need that one person who acts incredibly enthusiastic about being there, the person you can tell loves doing the show and will welcome new people to the group. Someone who can be in a room with people from all walks of life and fit right in. The bridge between the veterans and the newbies.
That person was Dorinda. What are we doing here without her? She was the middle ground between Leah and Ramona when they would feud, and she also felt like the glue to the group. Her absence is incredibly felt this season, and Bravo would be out of their minds to not hire her back. Also, we’ve seen everything we could see out of Ramona, Luann, and Sonja. One of them has to go next year. They’ve done a lot for the show, but their stories are not as intriguing as they once were.
You Need Your Narrators
With all of the differences and the drama of any Housewives franchise, you need your narrators. Every city has them. They are usually the ones who come across as the individual(s) with the most common sense and the least amount of delusion. (The keyword here is *least* amount of delusion, as every Housewife has to have to be a little delusional and kooky. That’s why we love them.) But your narrators should also be neutral. During its peak (seasons 5-9), Carole and Bethenny were the narrators. And listen, I’m not a fan of the margarita lady—she runs her mouth about Black women a little too much for my liking. However, I do know that it’s hard to replace her presence on the show. Last season, the network tried to make Dorinda and Leah its narrators, which didn’t work because they were the two most embroiled in drama. This season, it’s setting up Leah and Eboni, which doesn’t work either because their conflicts this season are with the other three women. Their takes are obviously going to be more biased. To fill this void, production should have hired one more Housewife—someone unbiased, witty, and the most “calm” one in the group. Someone like Carole.
Conflicts Aren’t Resolved
Despite what some viewers might think, this isn’t the first time RHONY has tackled serious topics. As Eboni has publicly stated, RHONY has had conversations surrounding divorce, abuse, depression, alcoholism, financial loss, and the process of grieving, to name a few. However, the handling of these conversations is different this time around. In layman’s terms, production and the women made the space for these topics to be covered without awkwardness. They acted sympathetic to each other’s situations and seemed like they cared about what was going on in each other’s personal lives. That is not the case this season. We are watching these conversations unfold without resolution. Obviously, race is always going to be an ongoing conversation, but the way it’s being handled is what makes it hard to digest. It’s created this snowball effect of awkwardness, which then makes the viewing experience uncomfortable. What we used to love about RHONY is that the women would go all the way off on each other and then immediately hug and make up. Now, the “resolutions” we do get feel forced and disingenuous.
Conversations About Race
I feel like Eboni came onto the show wanting the women to understand her on a deeper level, being the only Black woman in their group of white women. She probably wanted the women to take a moment to step outside of their bubble and understand her. Imagine that you were hired as the first Black cast member on an incredibly popular reality show that only featured white women for 12 years straight. The show is set in one of the most diverse cities in our country, and you are filming your first season during one of the most critical elections in modern American history. On top of that, there is a global pandemic and a massive uprising for the rights of Black people. So, there’s going to be pressure. Not just pressure from viewers, but perhaps pressure that you put on yourself.
I don’t blame Eboni for wanting to see where the women stood on political and social issues. As someone who has been the only Black person in spaces such as academia and work, I tend to ask the same type of questions. To some, it’s taboo to talk about serious issues in formal settings, such as dinner parties. However, this isn’t a formal setting. This is The Real Housewives. These women are filming a show where they are paid to be a part of a specific friend group, and these conversations are vital in order for a friendship to start in the first place. The issue is, the women don’t give a f*ck because they’ve never had to experience racism, and therefore they don’t comprehend the severity of the conversations being had. From Luann repeatedly calling Eboni angry, to that god-awful conversation about the election with Ramona, Eboni has been put in a position in which she has to cater to white fragility.
As a Black viewer of the show, I do feel uncomfortable watching these conversations because not only does it look like the burden of having these conversations is placed on Eboni’s shoulders, but they’re also triggering to watch. Having to deal with white people constantly talking down to you in the most passive-aggressive way is overwhelmingly frustrating, mainly because if we are reactionary, we are labeled as “aggressive”. On the flip side, I do think these conversations could be enlightening to white and non-Black POC viewers of the show. This is an actual glimpse of what Black people, Black women in particular, have to deal with in workplaces that are predominantly white.
I’ve seen conversations from white people about how the political issues and social issues discussed are “ruining the show”, and to be honest, it puzzles me. I can understand why Black people might not want to watch such triggering conversations, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around white people blaming Eboni and her willingness to have these conversations for the demise of the show. It seems to me that the fragility that we’ve seen on the show has extended to its audience. When all is said and done, should the blame be on Eboni for the reported decline in ratings, or on the “offended” audience who can’t sit through a few uncomfortable scenes?
RHONY is iconic. You can’t deny the fact that the franchise has a stamp on pop culture. You also can’t deny that this season will probably go down in history as one of the most polarizing seasons in reality TV. I think that for RHONY to get back on track, some things need to happen. The network needs to rehire Dorinda and possibly the margarita lady. The production team needs a clear understanding of what direction they want the season to go in, and they need to give us more of a balance between the serious topics and fun. Finally, the fandom needs to realize that we will never have the glory days of RHONY and a lot of popular Housewife franchises back, and the demise of the show isn’t on one particular person.
Also, give Bershan an apple, she’s incredibly entertaining.
Obviously, a revamp, à la RHOC, can steer the show in the right direction. It’ll give us a refresh that the show desperately needs, while still keeping the overall vibe of RHONY that we love. However, if you are yearning for the glory days of RHONY, binge the old seasons online. Problem solved.
Image: Heidi Gutman / Bravo
Whenever a new woman joins the group on a Real Housewives show, it’s like a science experiment. There are a lot of variables, and you could end up with an amazing breakthrough, or something could go horribly wrong. While some Housewives have come and gone with hardly anyone noticing, it’s taken Real Housewives of New York newbie Leah McSweeney only a few episodes to become an integral part of the group. It looks like Leah is here to stay, so we sat down with her for the Mention It All Podcast to talk all things RHONY.
Like the rest of us, Leah has been stuck in quarantine since season 12 premiered, but she says she’s been getting lots of positive feedback on social media. “I’ve been received well, which is really nice, because I cannot imagine being hated by the world during a pandemic. That would be too much for me.” Speaking of not-so-positive feedback, Leah definitely pays attention to what’s happening in the world of Bravo, adding “I don’t know how Sutton is doing it.” Ouch.
While Leah has meshed well with the RHONY cast, not everything has been smooth sailing. She shared her initial reactions to the women, saying she was “surprised” at how much she had in common with Luann, but that with Sonja and Dorinda, “there was some friction,” and that it “took a few episodes to get on the same page.” On the show right now, Leah is in a pretty great place with all of the women, but it sounds like it won’t be long before things go south between her and Ramona. Leah says she “didn’t take any offense to it” when Ramona initially gave her a hard time on the show, “but that will change as the season goes on.” Needless to say, we’ll all be watching eagerly to see what happens.
Leah also shared some previously-unknown details from that night in the Hamptons. You know, the one with the tiki torches. We all saw the vibrator in the chicken, but what did the cameras miss? “I tried on Elyse’s like, 25-carat ring, and it got stuck on my finger. That, you didn’t see—we had to grease my finger up, I mean, it wouldn’t come off!” Someday, I’ll party with the RHONY ladies, even if it’s the last thing I do.
For more behind the scenes RHONY tea, check out our full interview with Leah McSweeney on the latest episode of the Mention It All Podcast:
Image: Sophy Holland/Bravo
There are a number of traits that all good Real Housewives have in common. An aspirational lifestyle, a highly suspect business venture, and a toxic husband are par for the course, but what really sets a Housewife apart from her castmates is the ability to deftly lob an insult, especially at another Housewife. This requires quick thinking and a way with the English language that few of us mere mortals possess, and when it’s done right, the results are simply magical. Below, I’ve rounded up some of the best Real Housewives zingers in history and provided real life scenarios where you can use them, so you too can feel like a friend of seasoned Housewife. You’re welcome.
“Well, Even Louis Vuitton Makes Mistakes”
Whether you love her or hate her, you can’t deny that Luann has had some of the most iconic lines in the history of The Real Housewives of New York. One of her absolute best came in season 4 when insulting castmate Alex McCord’s “Herman Munster shoes.” Alex immediately clapped back saying they were Louis Vuitton, and without missing a beat, Luann gave us this gem of a comeback, both winning the argument and proving she belongs in the Housewives Hall of Fame.
When To Use It: We’ve all known someone who never misses an opportunity to brag about the various labels they’re wearing. Next time Dorit that person pipes up, you can hit them with a variation of this epic line. For example:
Dorit: OMG could you die over this new purse?! It’s Gucci!
You: Well, even Gucci makes mistakes.
“, You Bald-Headed Scallywag”
OK, so Marlo may not technically be a Housewife, but she is putting in more work this season than many a cast member of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (looking at you, NeNe). She’s long overdue for her peach, and no moment proved this more than in a recent episode on the cast trip to Toronto. As SnakeGate continued to unfold, the entire cast seemed to get into it with each other, with Marlo and Cynthia going head to head about the accusation that someone recorded Cynthia talking smack about NeNe. Cynthia loses it and goes off on Marlo, and out of the clear blue, Marlo refers to Cynthia as a “bald-headed scallywag.” The creativity in busting out a term not used in the mainstream lexicon since the wake of the Civil War leaves me no choice but to stan.
When To Use It: Although Marlo was referring to Cynthia, another woman, I think this jab would work perfectly for that f*ckboy in your life who you’re not quite ready to cut, but who continues to annoy you with his games. If he’s bald or balding, great. If not, then you can take a page out of his textbook with a neg that will surely have him considering a Rogaine purchase. The exchange could go something like this:
F*ckboy: Sry, forgot to press send. U comin over later?
You: Chad, you bald-headed scallywag
“Not Well, Bitch!”
Although Dorinda joined The Real Housewives of New York in season 7, it feels like she’s been there from the beginning. In just a few seasons she has become a fan favorite, and her incredible one-liners have everything to do with it. In season 9 she gave us this wonderfully versatile response when asked by Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell, of all people, how she was doing after a particularly heated argument with castmate Sonja Morgan. In turn, we were gifted this simple, yet incredibly effective phrase. Dorinda, we thank you for your service.
When To Use It: The beauty of this one is that it can be used in so many different scenarios to capture your mood. The “I’ll tell ya how I’m doing” preamble is optional, but when you use it, it hits so much harder. Either way, it’s a fantastic way to shut up that annoying co-worker Karen who cheerfully asks you how you’re doing at 9:03am on Monday before you’ve even had a sip of your iced coffee. Or it’s a perfect response to the group chat attempting to piece together a blackout girls’ night. Like so:
Jackie (to the group): Really hurting this morning. How are you guys doing?
You: I’ll tell ya how I’m doing: not well, bitch!
“I Don’t Know If She Wants To Be Me, Or Skin Me And Wear Me Like Last Year’s Versace.”
Dina Manzo only appeared on the first two seasons of The Real Housewives of New Jersey (and randomly season 6), but she will always be remembered for her biting zingers, chief among them being her description of the one and only Beverly Ann Merrill Danielle Staub in season 1. After a bizarre encounter where Danielle hugged Dina over and over and awkwardly complimented her boobs, Dina delivered this perfect description of Danielle’s strange obsession with her. We miss you, Dina.
When To Use It: This line is best used when you want to highlight the Single White Female in your life who is seemingly always around and annoying the ever-loving shit out of you. Whether she keeps going after the guys you like, insincerely compliments you in a backhanded way, or is always showing up to frat parties in a sad variation of your outfit from last week, you can describe her as such:
Your Bestie: What’s up with Hannah? She’s basically wearing the same dress you wore last weekend.
You: I don’t know if she wants to be me, or skin me and wear me like last year’s Versace.
“Is Your Ass Jealous Of The Sh*t That Comes Out Of Your Mouth?”
I can’t say I’m going to miss Tamra now that she’s gone, but she did leave us with some truly memorable jabs. Tamra does her best work when she’s angry (never forget Jesus Jugs) and she exploded during the season 6 reunion when she sensed that Gretchen was being less than truthful, giving us this truly excellent insult. RIP, Tammy Sue.
When To Use It: This one comes in handy whenever you want to call bullsh*t on someone who is obviously lying. Of course, you can use it for more serious lies like Tamra did, but it also works when you want to joke around with someone close to you about a more harmless lie. Case in point:
You: Hey, just got here. What’s your ETA?
Friend (just got out of the shower): On my way!
You: Does your ass get jealous of the sh*t that comes out of your mouth?
Of course, there are far too many incredible Housewives insults and many of the very best had to be left off this list. What are some of your favorites and how would you use them in the real world? Sound off in the comments. Until then:
Images: Bravo; Tenor (2); Giphy (4)
The ladies of The Real Housewives of New York City are still filming for season 12, but there have already been some major developments. Of course, Bethenny Frankel sent shockwaves through the Bravosphere earlier this year when she announced she was leaving Bravo to pursue her own projects. We didn’t quite know what to expect, but obviously the show must go on. Last month at BravoCon, streetwear designer Leah McSweeney was announced as the newest Housewife, triumphantly joining her new castmates onstage at Watch What Happens Live. But this week, we lost another beloved apple, when it was confirmed that Tinsley Mortimer is no longer filming for the upcoming season.
Earlier this fall, Tinsley got back together with her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Scott Kluth, causing speculation that she would leave RHONY. As you might remember, he biggest problem with Tinsley and Scott was always that he lived in Chicago, and she obviously needed to be in New York for her job. For a few weeks, there were rumors that she would get her own Real Housewives franchise in Chicago, but that proved to be false after Salt Lake City was announced as the new Housewives city.
Ultimately, Scott and Tinsley got engaged last month in Chicago, and that turned out to be the final nail in the RHONY coffin for her. She wasn’t on the girls’ recent trip to Mexico, and this week, Luann de Lesseps spilled the tea about Tinsley during one of her cabaret shows. When asked about Tinsley’s mother, Dale, during the Q&A segment (yes, her cabaret show has a Q&A segment), she said “I think she’s more upset that Tinsley’s not filming anymore now that she’s marrying Scott than Tinsley is.”
Luann continued about Tinsley, saying “I wish her all the best. She seems very happy and I want her to be happy and get married. That’s what she wants to do. She’s very traditional. She wants to have a baby. It’s time.” This makes sense, considering we watched Tinsley freeze her eggs on the show, and she cried about her eggs as if they were already actual babies.
But there might be a bit more to the story, with another source telling People that Scott played a major role in her decision to leave the show: “Scott gave her an ultimatum: ‘me or the show,’ and she chose him. He loves the limelight, but hated the negative effect the show had on their relationship. And Tinsley, she’s desperate to make the relationship work and was on the outs with the group as it was.”
Okay, so a few things here. First, I’m never a fan of an ultimatum like this, and it feels kind of shady on Scott’s part if this is really how it went down. I’m personally never a fan of ultimatums, because one person is usually going to end up unhappy. But whatever, not my relationship. It’s also no secret that the show has messed with their relationship in the past, and some of their scenes from a couple seasons ago are truly tough to watch. I hope Tinsley really is happy with her decision, because obviously being wifed up in Chicago is going to be a lot different than getting sloppy drunk with the RHONY ladies.
But speaking of the RHONY ladies—what does this source mean when they say that Tinsley was “on the outs with the group”? This is a low-key juicy piece of information, and it makes me very excited to see what happens in the first part of season 12, before Tinsley leaves. She’ll still be on the new season, at least for a while, and I hope her last episodes don’t disappoint.
The ladies of The Real Housewives are the gifts that keep on giving. I love the franchise because it’s a space where women are not only allowed, but encouraged, to be unabashedly themselves. Many are quick to dismiss the show as frivolous and superficial, but for me and my fellow Bravoholics it’s a fascinating sociological study on what it means to be a woman in today’s world. This inevitably gives us a glimpse into the men our gals choose, and more often than not, the results are pure, unadulterated trash not pretty. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I ventured into the deepest, darkest depths of House Husband Hell and compiled a list of the most garbage men to grace our screens over the years.
9. Bill Aydin
Bill is a relatively new addition to The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but he immediately made an impression with his condescending attitude towards his wife, Jennifer, and insistence that she stay at home with their children at all times. Jennifer memorably had to ask Bill for permission to go on a “girls’ trip” (in other words, do her job), a request that displeased her controlling traditional husband. This should end well.
8. Brooks Ayers
While not technically a husband (despite Vicki’s numerous attempts to make him fill her love tank), Brooks may as well have been one with the amount of screen time he took up during his tenure on The Real Housewives of Orange County. He immediately pinged fans’ creep radars when Vicki’s daughter Briana recounted that he sexually harassed her while she was pregnant. Brooks really cemented his status as the Dirty John of Bravo when it came out in season 10 that he perpetrated a cancer scam that Vicki was definitely *not* in on. Just thinking about him makes me want to take several showers.
7. Michael Darby
Ashley’s marriage to Michael was shaky even in the earlier seasons of The Real Housewives of Potomac, with the two arguing over their fledgling restaurant and having children together, culminating in a separation just two years ago. Unfortunately, Michael is looking even worse this season with allegations that he sexually assaulted a cameraman on the show. Despite the charges being dropped, more allegations persist. And now he and Ashley have a baby together, which won’t complicate things at all.
6. Jim Edmonds
This marriage always seemed suspect to me, not only because it was lucky number three for Jimbo, but also because he appeared completely and utterly checked out in every interaction with his wife. His abandonment of Meghan during her painful IVF treatments was particularly damning. Just when it seemed he couldn’t be more awful, news broke earlier this year about Jim’s involvement in a nude text message scandal in which, among other things, he was sexting a woman while Meghan was about to give birth to their twins. Inexplicably, they are still together.
My advice to Meghan:
5. Shane Simpson
There’s no way around it: Shane sucks. This human embodiment of the word “twerp,” as he was brilliantly called by castmate and certified genius Kelly Dodd, has been a walking wet blanket since his debut last season on The Real Housewives of Orange County. He threw Gina out of his home last season for being too loud during a party and proceeded to handle the aftermath with the same grace as a whiny toddler who’s been denied his binky. Shane has done nothing to redeem himself this season and can’t be bothered to hide his disdain snark in every scene with Emily, even going so far as to leave his family at home to escape to a hotel under the guise of “studying for the bar” (which he failed, btw). Instead of being grateful to his wife for singlehandedly taking care of their children and throwing a party for his parents in his absence, he snaps at her for disturbing him. Emily can do so much better.
4. Jason Hoppy
This is where the list really starts getting dark. Like many serial killers eligible men, Jason initially seemed like the dream guy Bethenny had been searching for her entire life. He supported her dreams and together they started the family she always wanted. For a while, it looked like Bethenny really did have it all. But cracks started to show in her spin-off Bethenny Ever After and it quickly became clear that Jason had a dark side he’d been hiding from the viewers. Once Bethenny filed for divorce, Jason fully unleashed his crazy by refusing to leave their apartment, threatening her, and bad-mouthing her to their daughter. Yikes.
3. David Beador
Seeing old footage of David Beador and his White Walker eyes still sends a chill down my spine. Shannon was completely humiliated when she revealed during season 10 of The Real Housewives of Orange County that David had a long-term affair. Though the pair did try to work through their problems, David’s attempts to reconcile always seemed forced and inauthentic. During season 11, Vicki alleged that David was physically abusive towards Shannon during their marriage. Though both David and Shannon denied any physical abuse, David was arrested for domestic battery years earlier. The stress of the allegations led Shannon to gain 40 pounds, and instead of supporting his wife during this difficult time, David began aggressively working out as if to mock her and would eat in front of her in a way that can only be described as hostile. Thankfully, Shannon divorced him.
2. Jim Marchese
Until I began preparing this list, I had somehow forgotten that this O.T. (Original Twerp) ever existed. Jim was hated by just about every cast member during his mercifully short run on The Real Housewives of New Jersey for getting in the women’s faces repeatedly like a rabid dog on crack and saying unspeakable things about his castmates. Jim has continued to reach new lows after his stint on the show. He revealed during his appearance with Amber on Marriage Bootcamp that he blamed her for getting cancer, was arrested shortly thereafter for felony domestic violence against Amber and, most recently, has been accused by his own son of refusing to continue paying his college tuition because he is gay. What a mensch.
1. Joe Giudice
It admittedly doesn’t get much worse than Jim Marchese, but Juicy Joe still reigns supreme as the worst of the worst husbands. The repeated rumors of infidelity were bad enough. Who could forget that uncomfortable scene where he was caught on camera talking to his mistress one of his workers and referring to Teresa as “my bitch wife” and a “c*nt”? But Joe cemented his status on this list by committing fraud and implicating Teresa, causing her to serve time in prison and miss out on valuable time with her mother, who died less than two years after her release. It’s unforgivable, but it does look like karma is coming for Joe and he’s probably getting deported.
Of course, this isn’t a complete list because choosing among the toxic men on these shows is an embarrassment of riches. There were many more I wanted to include (looking at you, Jim Bellino, Kelsey Grammer, Slade Smiley, Paul “Peekay” Kemsley and Simon Barney), but I can’t afford to quit my day job. Sound off in the comments with your worst House Husbands!
Images: Getty Images (7); Shutterstock (2); NBCU; Bravo; Giphy (2)
Now, you’re probably wondering what is a “one and done”? This is what I call a housewife who is only on for one season and then fired. Some need to go ASAP, and Bravo usually does a good job at realizing who has staying power and who doesn’t. But there are some who I feel deserved a second chance. It is hard for any housewife to come on and join an already established cast, especially when some cities have been on TV for 10+ years.
What is the perfect recipe for a good housewife? You have to be confrontational, or at least opinionated in confessionals (Carole Radziwill was so good at this). And personally, I love someone who isn’t afraid to show her entire life and really open up. Shannon Storms Beador (Storms is her maiden name and I’m obsessed with it) is a perfect example of someone who came on to the show and literally showed us everything, from her ex husband’s affair, to her weight gain. And that’s why people relate to her, because she is super raw. Another thing that makes a great new housewife is there ability to be self-aware. This isn’t a super common trait we see, but when we do, we take notice. Bethenny Frankel, Gizelle Bryant, and Margret Josephs are great at this. And that’s why they will be in the Real Housewives hall of fame.
The Real Housewives of New York City: Jules Wainstein
Guys, I loved Jules. I think she is one of the most underrated housewives of all time. TBH, a trailblazer. She was the first housewife to ever come out and be honest about having an eating disorder. It was amazing to see how she was incredibly raw and honest about it. At times it could be triggering because, as she stated on the show, you’re always in recovery and it is a daily battle. Also, she and her husband Michael had what I call the “Kelsey Grammer” syndrome, meaning he pushed her to do the show while he had an affair so she wasn’t so focused on what he was doing. They filed for divorce shortly after the show wrapped. I would’ve just loved to see single Jules coming out on the other end of a divorce and balancing motherhood with her business Modern Alkeme. I will welcome her back with open arms at any time.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Kathryn Edwards
Hear me out. Kathryn deserved a second season. She had a deep connection to Faye Resnick (Kyle Richards’ controversial BFF), and that connection is OJ Simpson. The whole OJ trial actually always seems to run under the surface in this group due to their location, and they’re all one degree of separation from the Kardashians. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, literally ever. She sat down for dinner at Kyle’s BBQ and immediately went in on Faye’s book she wrote, where she insuated that Marcus Allen (OJ’s best friend) was having an affair with Nicole Brown Simpson, and that Kathryn was the “kind of woman who turned a blind eye to adultery.” Also, her husband was super hot, and we all need a little eye candy.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Claudia Jordan
Truthfully, this is the one that puzzles me the most. WHY WASN’T SHE BROUGHT BACK!? I will never understand it. She brought it all, she had glam, was down to earth, was outspoken. AND. Let us not forget one of the most iconic reads in history of RHOA, when she came for NeNe Leakes and her “ramen noodle hair”. When I tell you I let out an audible gasp. I had never seen anyone come for NeNe like that, and successfully. She is one of the only people on the show besides my queen, Phaedra Parks, who I felt had the wit and sophistication to take down the OG of RHOA. It was truly a moment that should be studied in the history books of reality television.
The Real Housewives of D.C.
This cast walked so Potomac could run. Andy has said in the past that he wanted to bring it back for a second season, but the whole White House Gate-crashing situation kind of left a “stink” on the show. But I would’ve watched regardless. Michaele Salahi and her husband at the time, Tariq, were essentially cons and some how finagled their way into Barack Obama’s first White House State Dinner, and then had to testify before the Congressional committee in which they invoked their fifth amendment rights. Also, Michaele said she was a Washington Redskins cheerleader, but got caught in that lie as well when she could provide no proof that she was.
We gave Real Housewives of Miami three chances, and did they have someone break into the White House State Dinner? I don’t think so. And Cat was my favorite—she’s British and has an incredibly dry sense of humor that I just really appreciated. And her husband was the White House’s photographer until he filed for divorce from Cat, and she was left in D.C with her daughters and was given no explanation. I’m bitter that they never got their second chance. But then again, because of them we have the second best show on television, The Real Housewives of Potomac.
Images: Giphy (4)
Season 10 of The Real Housewives of New York City won’t finish airing for a few more weeks, but the season 11 cast is already getting a shakeup. On Wednesday, Carole Radziwill announced that she’ll be leaving the show after six seasons. That’s right, our favorite writer girl is giving up her apple. RHONY is truly one of the best shows on television, and Carole’s departure will really change things. I have a lot of thoughts, but first let’s look at the statement that Carole gave to PEOPLE.
“After six seasons on Bravo’s RHONY, I have decided to return to what I do best — journalism and producing. I am sure this does not come as a surprise to any of the viewers, all of whom have been supportive, encouraging, and kind. My original curiosity about reality television has waned over the years and I am focusing on TV and writing projects that better suit my more steady temperament. I have worked with amazing producers, made great friends, and I’m thrilled to leave frenemies behind. I will remember this entire experience with delight, humor, and a veracious accuracy. Next.”
To be honest, I haven’t really been feeling Carole this season, but this statement is perfection. It gives an actual reason for her leaving, while also throwing a generous amount of shade at her “frenemies” (read: Bethenny) and basically the whole concept of reality TV. Carole hasn’t really talked about being a writer for the last couple seasons, but clearly she still has a way with words. My personal favorite part is when she says she’ll remember her time on the show with “veracious accuracy,” which basically means “everything that went down is on video forever, so don’t try to make me the villain once I’m gone.”
If you’re paying attention to the current season of RHONY, you’ll know that Carole’s main storyline has been how her friendship with Bethenny Frankel fell apart. To be honest, I’ve found the whole thing incredibly boring, because who cares if these women are friends in real life? The whole reason I watch Bravo is to see rich women yelling at each other, so I’m not mad if two of them suddenly can’t stand each other anymore. Also, in the world of RHONY, going against Bethenny is always tough. She’s like, the favorite, most successful child of Andy Cohen, so Bethenny is probably always going to get the good edit. But instead of rehashing this dumb drama with Bethenny, let’s reminisce on the best of Carole Radziwill.
The best thing about Carole is her dry sense of humor, and how she’s never been afraid to laugh at her ridiculous fellow housewives. Luann couldn’t stand Carole for a couple seasons after Carole started dating Lu’s niece’s ex Adam, but Carole really couldn’t care less. I don’t blame her, Adam is hot AF.
Carole shining a light on Luann’s life and choices:
My favorite Carole throwback is the infamous Book-gate of season six, when she and Aviva spent half a season arguing about who did or didn’t use a ghostwriter for their books. While we never really got to the bottom of this (and who tf cares?), it was enormously entertaining, and brought out Aviva’s true crazy for everyone to see.
Carole will definitely be missed after six years on the RHONY reunion couch, but it makes sense that she’s leaving. She actually had a real career as an author and journalist before the show, and fighting with Bethenny on camera probably feels like a waste of her time. We still have a few more episodes left with Carole, and a final reunion that’s sure to be explosive. The ladies of NYC always know how to bring the drama, so this time will be no different.
Images: @caroleradziwill / Instagram; Giphy (2)
If you’ve ever watched even one season of a Real Housewives show, you know that the most important element of the show is the group trip. Prepare yourself, because the Real Housewives of New York just took a cruise from hell. Over the years, the New York housewives have taken a wide variety of exotic trips, including St. John (aka Scary Island where Kelly lost her mind), Morocco (cue Luann saying “ya habibi” seven million times), and even the far-away land of Montana. But nothing could have prepared Luann, Ramona, Bethenny, and the gang for this trip to Colombia.
The ladies are currently filming for season 10, and they headed down to Cartagena, Colombia, presumably because one of them slept with someone who owns a fabulous vacation home there or some shit like that. There’s always a connection. From there, they were supposed to spend the day on a luxury yacht. This is usually the part of the trip where nothing really goes wrong: Ramona has her Pinot Grigio, Luann pretends to be reading a book, and Sonja is tanning while ass naked. Yaaaaawn. But this time, the day on the yacht turned into the boat trip from hell, and we seriously can’t wait to see it unfold on Bravo.
Let’s just say, the boat wasn’t as luxurious as it was supposed to be. Page Six reports that, to start with, “Once they were ushered on board, the boat couldn’t even move. The anchor got stuck, so the crew had to saw the anchor off before they could sail anywhere.” I’m already laughing my ass off from the thought of these women watching them saw off the anchor, and it gets so much better.
After leaving the dock, the engine on the boat reportedly caught fire, which like, isn’t supposed to happen. There was apparently no fire extinguisher on board, and the crew didn’t speak any English. Yikes. As if that wasn’t enough, the seas were very rough, and “the seats and other things on board that weren’t nailed down started flying about.” OKAY. So just picture Luann the fucking Countess on a boat that is literally on fire and there are seat cushions just fucking pummeling her in the face. Darling, it’s a nightmare.
According to the reports, the housewives were screaming, throwing up from seasickness, and genuinely convinced they were going to die like it was the fucking Titanic. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is how you make reality TV. They were eventually rescued by a passing ship, but Bravo has reportedly offered the ladies counseling for their traumatic experience.
With this and Luann’s wild Christmas in Palm Beach, the next season of Real Housewives of New York City is shaping up to be an absolute shit show. Thanks to our lord and savior Andy Cohen, we’ll surely get to see the whole messy thing. Why do we love this shit so much?
Images: Bravo; Giphy (3)
