Liam Payne Said ‘There’s Many Reasons’ He Dislikes Zayn & Now 1D Fans Are Mad

One podcast, taken in many different directions. I think we all remember the famed boy band One Direction, and beyond that remember how Harry Styles and Zayn Malik went on to become pretty big stars in their own right. But do you remember Liam Payne? Well, you will now. After his recent appearance on Logan Paul’s podcast, Impaulsive, Payne got into some trouble with fans for talking about the band’s dynamics. You could say he did not bring up just “One Thing.”

For starters, Payne chatted about other forgettable member (oops, who said that), Louis Tomlinson. “Louis was wild. And he wanted to be wild. That’s his spirit,” said Payne. “He’s my best mate now but in the band, we hated each other. Like, to come to blowers hated each other. It was close.” Umm yikes. Payne explained that he made it clear to everyone in the band that he doesn’t “take sh*t,” and shared quite the memory of a backstage argument. “One member in particular threw me up a wall,” said Payne. “So I said to him, ‘If you don’t remove those hands there’s a high likelihood you’ll never use them again.’” So much to unpack.

Then things got even messier. Paul and Payne also talked about Malik, who had some alleged drama with Paul’s brother Jake Paul. They brought up the drama on the podcast and talked about Malik’s alleged harassment of Gigi Hadid’s mom Yolanda (Malik was accused of striking her in October 2021). Prior to the allegation, Gigi had tweeted at Jake Paul that Malik is a “respectful king,” which Payne brought up, saying, “That one didn’t age very well.” Oh, but Payne didn’t stop there.

“There’s many reasons why I dislike Zayn and there’s many reasons why I’ll always be on his side,” Payne shared. “Listen, I don’t agree with any of his actions. I can’t commend some of the things that he’s done. I can’t be on his side for that. But what I can say is I understand and your only hope is that at some point in their life, the person at the other end of the phone wants to receive the help that you’re willing to give them. That’s all I will say.”

Payne did, in fact, have more to say. Following the podcast drama—and slew of angry fans—Payne tweeted more about Malik. “Listening back maybe I didn’t articulate myself as well as I could have,” reads his tweet. “I was saying that there will always be things we disagree on but that I will always, always be on his side. That’s family. Zayn is my brother and I will stand by him forever.”

But I’ll let the experts (AKA 1D fans) take the reins here.

“Liam talking sh*t about zayn as if he didnt cheat on his fiancé last week,” one person wrote on Twitter. This is in reference to circulated photos of Payne with model Aliana Mawla, just hours before announcing he was ending his engagement to Maya Henry.

“Zayn choosing to keep certain aspects of his life private and liam airing it out voluntarily to LOGAN PAUL is a prime example of how wicked this man truly is,” tweeted someone else. Someone get 1D on Red Table Talk stat.

Image: Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com

The Most Ridiculous TikTok Drama Of 2020

This year has been more than unpredictable, but if there’s one thing we can count on, it’s influencers and internet celebrities getting involved in drama. From Danielle Bernstein’s questionable design practices, to Arielle Charnas’ COVID exposure timeline, there’s been a lot of bullsh*t happening online in 2020, and it’s been one of the few consistent sources of joy. This year, we’ve also seen TikTok stars gain millions of followers and a wild amount of attention, and along with that success comes good old messiness. There’s petty nonsense going down in different corners of TikTok every single day, but here are some of the wildest stories from 2020.

Jake Paul vs. The FBI

Jake Paul and his brother Logan have a long history of messy behavior, from Logan offending the entire nation of Japan, to Jake’s stunt wedding to Tana Mongeau. But in 2020, Jake Paul’s chaotic behavior transitioned into criminal activity that was serious enough to catch the FBI’s attention. In August, a SWAT team raided Paul’s Calabasas mansion, where they reportedly seized “a cache of firearms.” The FBI later confirmed the raid was in connection to a June incident, in which Paul broke into a mall in Arizona to film a video at the height of Black Lives Matter protests.

I create the first content house

Then there’s 500 content houses

I start boxing

Now every influencer is a boxer

What’s next?

Y’all gon get raided by the FBI on purpose?

— Jake Paul (@jakepaul) November 15, 2020

Jake Paul wasn’t home during the FBI raid, and it’s unclear what eventually happened in the investigation, but clearly he’s not behind bars or anything. Recently, he’s been focused on his boxing career, which I regret to admit is a real thing. Over Thanksgiving weekend, he won his second professional fight against former NBA player Nate Robinson. After his big win, he naturally hosted a packed mask-free party at his house, which Calabasas Mayor Alicia Weintraub called “a slap in the face to the Calabasas community.” I guess Bryce Hall isn’t the only dumb-ass influencer causing headaches for LA government officials. Speaking of which…

Bryce Hall vs. The City Of LA

If we’ve learned anything about TikTok stars this year, it’s that they love ignoring public safety regulations and partying in the midst of a deadly pandemic. Internet celebs like James Charles, Tana Mongeau, and Nikita Dragun have all attended their fair share of questionable gatherings this year, but no one is a more prolific pandemic partier than Bryce Hall. Over the summer, there were many reports of large parties all over Los Angeles, even as coronavirus cases skyrocketed in California. Clearly, something needed to be done, and in response, LA Mayor Eric Garcetti warned that utilities could be shut off at residences where large gatherings continued to be held.

Today I authorized the City to disconnect utility service at a house in the Hollywood Hills to stop the large parties held there in flagrant violation of our public health orders. Parties like these can quickly and easily spread the virus and put our communities at risk.

— MayorOfLA (@MayorOfLA) August 19, 2020

I don’t know if Bryce Hall missed that message, or if he just didn’t care (probably the latter, let’s be real), but he continued to have big parties at his rented Hollywood Hills home. Two weeks later, Mayor Garcetti made good on his threat, and released a statement announcing that “The City has now disconnected utilities at this home to stop these parties that endanger our community.” He claimed that the home had “turned into a nightclub in the Hills,” which is still my worst nightmare, pandemic or not. We never found out exactly how long Bryce had to go without utilities, but I’m hoping it was at least a few days.

Ariana Grande vs. Bryce Hall

The award for most delusional TikTok personality of the year also goes to Bryce Hall, who somehow thinks Ariana Grande gives a sh*t about him. Back in October, Ariana did an hour-long interview on The Zach Sang Show to promote her new album, and at one point the conversation turned to the pandemic behavior of TikTok stars. She name-checked Saddle Ranch, a western-themed restaurant in LA that’s become a hotspot (for TikTokers, but also probably for COVID). She asked, “Did we all need to go to f*cking Saddle Ranch that badly that we couldn’t wait for the deathly pandemic to pass? Did we all need to put on our cowgirl boots and ride a mechanical bull that bad? We all needed that Instagram post that badly?” I love this energy. 

 

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A post shared by Bryce Hall (@brycehall)

Obviously, being the clown that he is, Bryce Hall—who spent Halloween at Saddle Ranch with his girlfriend Addison Rae—decided Ariana was talking about him, and spoke out about her comments. He said on the Hollywood Raw podcast that it was “obviously like, a marketing move,” explaining that “because she knew that TikTokers have a high audience, she knew that a lot of people would agree, because there’s a lot of people that hate TikTokers already.” Despite seeming annoyed at Ariana indirectly calling him out, Bryce admitted that “like, she’s not wrong.” Fair point that people hate TikTokers, but LOL that Bryce thinks someone as famous as Ariana Grande needs to start drama with him to get some press for her new album. And also, stay the f*ck home!

Charli & Dixie D’Amelio vs. Paella

The most recent controversy on our list came just a couple weeks ago, from TikTok’s first family, The D’Amelios. 16-year-old Charli D’Amelio has had a meteoric rise this year, becoming the most-followed person on TikTok, and recently becoming the first account to pass the 100 million follower threshold on the app. At some point in this whirlwind year, the D’Amelios decided that they should start a family YouTube channel, which like, yikes. If I told my mom we were starting a YouTube channel together, she’d kick me out of the house. Anyway, one of their great ideas for a video series was “Dinner With The D’Amelios,” where they would be joined each episode by a different celeb guest at a family dinner.

The first episode featured our problematic fave James Charles, and there were actually some interesting moments where they talked about getting famous so young, and how James has become a mentor to Charli. But things went south when chef Aaron May presented them with a homemade paella for dinner. Charli and her sister Dixie were shocked to discover that the dish contained snails, and Charli asked the award-winning chef if she could have dino nuggets instead. Dixie took a small bite of snail, gagged, and ran outside to vomit. The D’Amelios received a great deal of backlash for their tone-deaf reactions to the traditional dish, and Charli also got dragged for her comments in the video about being annoyed at how long it was taking her to reach 100 million TikTok followers.

tomorrow i will be back posting normal content with a smile on my face! at the end of the day i know i am a good person with a good heart and i will never change that about myself. i love you all!! 💕

— charli d’amelio (@charlidamelio) November 20, 2020

On the day the video came out, Charli lost over a million followers, while James Charles and other major influencers came to her defense. Since then she’s rebounded, and she finally hit her coveted 100 million—hopefully she got to celebrate with some dino nuggets.

Like it or not, it looks like all of these TikTok stars are here to stay, and as long as they’re looking for clout, there’s going to be drama involved. Can’t wait to see whose house gets raided by the FBI in 2021!

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Images: Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images; jakepaul, mayorofla, charlidamelio / Twitter; brycehall / Instagram

Why TF Did The FBI Raid Jake Paul’s House?

It’s nothing new for YouTubers to be problematic, but not all influencer drama is created equal. James Charles and Tati’s public meltdown was entertaining to watch, but some of these people are legitimate menaces to society. Case in point: Jake Paul. On Wednesday morning, TMZ reported that the FBI was executing a search warrant at Jake Paul’s home in Calabasas. Now, honestly it’s not that shocking that something shady might be going down at Jake Paul’s—last month, he threw a massive house party that was condemned by the mayor. But an FBI raid? That sounded intense, and soon TMZ was updating the story with pictures of armored trucks and officers in full SWAT team gear around the property. So WTF was the FBI looking for at Jake’s house?

My first guess was that he had like, an illegal Komodo dragon or some sh*t, and then my more realistic guess was drugs. But it turns out the answer was the answer was even more alarming: guns! The FBI apparently seized a “cache of firearms” from the property, and grainy photos appear to show officers leaving the house with several guns in hand. Jake’s attorney told TMZ that he was “traveling out-of-state” at the time of the raid (traveling again during a pandemic, smh), so it’s unclear whether the FBI was trying to arrest him yesterday.

This current FBI ensnarement comes just a couple months after Jake Paul was arrested and charged with trespassing and unlawful assembly in Scottsdale, Arizona. As you may recall, Jake broke into a closed mall that was being looted during protests in the wake of George Floyd’s murder, just so he could get content. While those charges were just misdemeanors, it appears the investigation is far from over, because Wednesday’s FBI raid was directly connected to the incident in Scottsdale.

Later on Wednesday, the FBI told TMZ, “The FBI is investigating allegations of criminal acts surrounding the incident at Scottsdale Fashion Square in May, 2020.” I’m not sure why the FBI is making statements to TMZ, but I’m glad to have this information. In addition to the raid on Jake Paul’s house on Wednesday, the FBI also searched the Las Vegas home of Armani Izadi, a friend of Jake’s who was arrested with him in Scottsdale. At Izadi’s, multiple people were brought out of the house in handcuffs, but Izadi and Jake Paul weren’t seen.

So uhh… what the f*ck is going on here? When Jake Paul got arrested back in June, it seemed pretty obvious what happened. He’s a dumb-ass clout chaser, and he broke into a mall to try and get views while people were risking their lives to protest police brutality and systemic racism. But if the new FBI action is really tied to this incident, there may be a lot more than meets the eye. It’s easy to troll Jake Paul for his online antics or his publicity stunt marriage to Tana Mongeau, but there’s some genuine darkness going on here, and I can’t wait for the HBO true crime doc on this in 2-4 years.

Jake Paul might be the face of problematic prank dudes on YouTube, but he’s far from the only one. Also on Wednesday, TikTok and YouTube prank stars (and identical twins) Alan and Alex Stokes were both indicted on charges stemming from a “fake bank robbery” that took place last fall. Dressed in all black and ski masks, the twins (and their videographer) pretended to hold up a bank, and then called an Uber as their “getaway car”. When the Uber driver refused to pick them up, a bystander thought they were hijacking the car, and called the police. They weren’t arrested at the time, and repeated the prank four hours later in a different part of town. While announcing the charges this week, Orange County District Attorney Todd Spitzer called the incident a “twisted attempt to gain more popularity on the internet”, and noted that people could have easily been seriously injured or killed.

Can we all just agree that elaborate “pranks” like this aren’t funny? I know these people have millions of followers, but I just don’t get it. The Stokes brothers could face four years in prison if they are convicted, but as for Jake Paul, who knows how this is going to go down. For now, he’s still only been charged with the two misdemeanors in Scottsdale, but with the FBI seizing guns from his house, his legal problems may only be just beginning.

Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

The Cringiest Celeb TikToks Of The Week

After taking a month off of cataloging the worst TikToks our famous people have to offer, it’s safe to say not much has changed. We’re still in the middle of a pandemic, social distancing isn’t going anywhere, and yes, celebrities are still acting very cringey on TikTok. While some of our faves have gotten bored and mostly abandoned their awful TikToks (Vanessa Hudgens, please come back), there are still more than enough celebs who just can’t put their phones down. Whether you’re into sh*tty dancing, rough attempts at comedy, or half-hearted activism, there’s something here for everyone this week.

December 12-18:

Meghan Trainor

@meghantrainorWhen everyone thinks you announced your pregnancy on TikTok ##31weekspregnant

♬ original sound – devin levell

I would love to let Meghan Trainor enjoy her pregnancy journey in peace without dragging her, but wtf is this video, honestly. Daryl Sabara’s energy really stresses me out, and him yelling at me and trying to get crunk with a stroller while “Thotiana” plays in the background is not my preferred holiday vibe, to say the least.

Jenny McCarthy

@mrs.wahlbergHave you tried the Sugarplum Macchiato from @dunkin yet, ##Chicago? Tell me what you think using ##DunkinSugarplum. ##ad♬ How You Like That – BLACKPINK

I have no problem with celebs doing ads on TikTok, but I appreciate when they at least show a little commitment to the assignment. Jenny McCarthy has done two videos for Dunkin’ promoting their season sugarplum macchiato, and in both, it’s very obvious that she isn’t actually taking a sip. I’ve tried it, and it’s gross, but the least she could do is drink it with a smile on her face!

Bryce Hall

@brycehall♬ original sound – 𝓳𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮

In a year full of lows, learning about Bryce Hall was definitely one of my lowest points. This video of him dancing in a Santa suit 10/1o ruined my day, and also, we shouldn’t be doing fat suits anymore, come on.

December 5-11:

Bhad Bhabie

@bhadbhabieshe can never take a joke😂😂😂♬ original sound – bhadbhabie

In this video, 17-year-old Bhad Bhabie (aka “cash me outside” girl) plays a prank on her mom by giving her a box with a positive pregnancy test inside. These kind of pranks aren’t really funny in any context, but there’s something extra cringe about this one. First of all, her mom clearly doesn’t want to be on camera, and then her reaction to the test is to repeatedly say “I will f*cking stab you.” Yikes! Idk about their family dynamic, but this isn’t cute to me.

Tyra Banks

@tyrabanksScience degree not needed ##tiktokpartner ##learnontiktok ##share ##needtoknow♬ original sound – Tyra Banks

There’s nothing Tyra loves more than sharing a little wisdom, and in this ‘Tok, she talks about the difference between inventing and innovating. I don’t really think these words are that confusing, but I also don’t think Tyra did a very good job of explaining herself. Like, I’m not confident she could use both of these words correctly in a sentence. So let’s discuss: was the smize an invention or an innovation?

Perez Hilton

@perezhilton♬ Follow PerezHilton on TikTok – Perez Hilton

Most of Perez Hilton’s videos are just D-list celebrity news no one cares about, but this one is bad in a totally different way.  I’m 100% sure Perez with this devil filter is my new sleep paralysis demon, so I guess I just won’t be sleeping for the next few days. I hate it here.

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeaulola lot happened in between those two things but go peep the video♬ original sound – Tana Mongeau

There is… a lot going on in Tana’s life right now. Apparently her ex made a mean song about her, and then her best friend hooked up with her new man IN HER HOUSE? I’m cringing at this whole situation because I feel bad for Tana, but also, why is she making TikToks about it?? Girl, figure this sh*t out! Also, stop having friends over, it’s a pandemic!

November 28-December 4:

Jonathan Cheban

@foodgod♬ Oh No – Kreepa

I thought Jonathan’s videos of him shoveling food into his mouth were upsetting, but this is way worse. He’s puckering up his gross lips and smothering them with hand soap, and then trying to blow bubbles. Sorry, is he five years old? Sir, please get a grip.

Jack Black

@jackblackmy spidey senses are TINGLING – new ep link in bio!! 📹 @taylor♬ Out the Frame – Marv Allen

As a followup to his deeply cringeworthy WAP video, Jack Black is back with another TikTok of him dancing, this time in a Spider-Man costume. Again, something I really did not need to see. Just gonna throw this out there as a note to many of the celebs who cannot dance, but seem determined to make dancing TikToks: no one is making you do that! Stop it!

Wiz Khalifa

@wizkhalifaCOVID test BABY ##covid19 ##gettested♬ original sound – Wiz Khalifa

In this video, Wiz Khalifa rolls up to a drive-thru COVID testing site, with a joint clearly lit in the car, and we see the full swabbing process from start to finish. First of all, I’m really not a fan of seeing people get these swabs stuck up their noses on camera, but it also feels super inconsiderate to have smoke blowing in the face of this poor woman administering the COVID test. These people are going above and beyond to keep us safe, so please be considerate to them!

November 21-27:

Heidi Montag

@heidimontagAudrina left 😂♬ WAP(feat. Megan Thee Stallion) – Cardi B

I really thought I was done roasting celebrity “WAP” videos like, a month ago, but Heidi and Audrina just had to go and post this three months too late. Obviously, the dancing is not good—as you know by now, Heidi’s dancing is never good. But more than anything, it’s so half-assed! Audrina just walks off halfway through the video, leaving Heidi to fend for herself, and she really doesn’t know what she’s doing. This makes me sad.

Howie Mandel

@officialhowiemandel##inventions ##safety ##amazing♬ original sound – Howie Mandel

In this video, Howie shows off his new face mask, which is perhaps the most unsettling thing I’ve ever seen. I really hope he never wears this in public, because people will be traumatized.

JoJo Siwa

@itsjojosiwa“Where Are You Christmas” The Official Music Video!!!❄️🖤 Coming out on Thanksgiving (11/26)!! LINK IN MY BIO!♬ original sound – JoJo Siwa

This is a clip from a music video and not like, an actual TikTok, but we still need to discuss whatever the f*ck JoJo is wearing. It looks like she skinned a polar bear, and then bedazzled its entire body and turned it into a coat. The amount of glitter on her face is actually making me physically uncomfortable, and her hair bow has never been bigger. Someone stop her!

Lil Miquela

@lilmiquela⚠️ My new SNAP show GET REAL, MIQUELA is out now ⚠️ I’m finally getting REAL…♬ original sound – MIQUELA

We’ve discussed CGI influencer Lil Miquela before, but before this week, I’ve never dared to look at her TikTok. Little did I know, she actually has a reality show on Snapchat now! I have so many questions. What does a reality show about a fake person entail? Why is this happening now? And did anyone know Snapchat had shows?? I can’t let myself think about this too much, because it’ll just make me angry.

November 14-20:

Charli D’Amelio

@charlidameliomy drink the charli is still on the dunkin’ app!! give it a try and let me know what you think!! ##ad♬ original sound – charli d’amelio

Charli has been getting roasted over a recent YouTube video, but today I’m focusing on one of her TikToks from this week, an ad for Dunkin. As part of her partnership with the brand, they created a drink called “The Charli,” which is cold brew with caramel and whole milk. I’ve had it, and it took me like, three days to digest all that dairy. In this video, she reminds her followers that the drink is still available, but she doesn’t seem all that committed to selling it. Twice, she says it’s “pretty good”, which is how I describe something when I don’t like it but I don’t want to be rude. Come on girl, earn those coins!

Dr. Phil

@drphilWhen the ##onhold music slaps.♬ original sound – Friday

Dr. Phil continues his streak of making everyone uncomfy on TikTok with this video of him vibing to some hold music. Really, Dr. Phil dancing is something I never need to see, and as he gets more animated throughout the video (and gets his wife involved), it just gets worse.

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag♬ Candy Shop – R n B Allstars

Heidi hasn’t made an appearance on this list in a while, but she’s been busy making TikToks this week, and most of them are bad. Notably, she has been hanging out with Audrina Patridge, so the reboot of The Hills might finally be getting a second season. But in this video, Heidi just kind of dances around to the beginning “Candy Shop” while her mask gradually slips under her nose. The caption says something about going on the boat that’s in the background, but she never actually shows us whether she got to go on the boat! That’s just bad writing.

Derek Hough

@derekhoughCandid authentic moment of me doing Laundry outside. Didn’t even know there were cameras there. @people♬ Pony – Ginuwine

I make a point of not looking at Derek Hough’s TikTok too often because it makes me mad, but I really hate when he tries to be hot. I’m pretty sure this whole backyard laundry setup is for a photo shoot, so I can’t fault him for being extra, but thrusting to “Pony” on a laundry basket? That’s where I draw the line. Someone stop this man!!

November 7-13:

Bryce Hall

@brycehallupdate on no shave november @joshrichards♬ original sound – Rudy

Bryce Hall is one of TikTok’s most notorious f*ckboys, and hating his content is one of my favorite pastimes. Currently, he and his fellow Hype House member Josh Richards are taking part in No Shave November, and their results after nearly two weeks are kind of hilariously underwhelming. I always regret taking the dive into Bryce’s videos, but at least today he gave me something to laugh at.

Barbara Corcoran

@barbara.corcoran@mcuban 👀 ##WIP♬ Lonely – Justin Bieber & benny blanco

Big congrats to Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran, who makes her first appearance on the list this week. In this TikTok, she acts out a POV scenario where she’s listening to a pitch on Shark Tank, and then the person chooses Mark Cuban’s offer. Her face as she chokes herself off camera is truly horrifying, but also, can we talk about her outfit? She’s dressed like a middle schooler, and I truly don’t understand it. Why is she wearing a backpack!!! I have so many questions.

Iggy Azalea

@thenewclassicATTENTION!!!♬ original sound – Matt Beckoff

I’m always wary of anything Iggy Azalea does, but for the most part, she’s actually pretty funny on TikTok. But this video of her twerking to an edited sound of Biden calling himself “daddy”… I hate it here. Honestly, I would hate this sound no matter what the video was, but there’s something about the front view of someone twerking that’s particularly unsettling. Luckily, Iggy has already gone back to making videos about eating pizza in bed, so I don’t need to unfollow her.

JoJo Siwa

@itsjojosiwaGet Ready with Me ❤️🎀 @BangEnergy @BangEnergy.CEO ##BangEnergy ##CaffeineFree ##ad♬ original sound – JoJo Siwa

I know this is an ad, but the thought of JoJo Siwa consuming an energy drink is actually terrifying to me. Like, I needed an energy drink in college when I had a paper due the next day that I hadn’t started. JoJo Siwa does not need an energy drink, and I’m concerned that she might literally explode if she drank a full one of these.

October 31-November 6:

Dr. Phil

@drphilI’ve got those Grandpa Joe moves. ##mycostume♬ Spooky, Scary Skeletons – Andrew Gold

I only put one Halloween TikTok on this list because, to be honest, Halloween already feels like it was seven months ago. But I couldn’t just skip over Dr. Phil’s jarring Halloween costume—Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka. I have no desire to see Dr. Phil in a nightgown, and his weak attempt at dancing just makes it worse. Some people just don’t need to do Halloween.

JoJo Siwa

@itsjojosiwaMy night routine!!!✨🎀♬ Boomerang – Jojo Siwa

I know that this nighttime routine video from JoJo Siwa is a joke, but I still found myself cringing. I’m used to seeing the cars with her face plastered all over them, but her house still gives me a headache. I love eating cake for dinner as much as the next person, but this is just too much. And watching her cover her entire face in glitter made my skin itch. Also, why is she in the shower with clothes on? This is not for me.

Candace Cameron Bure

@candacecameronb##JesusSaves ##momsoftiktok ##Christian♬ original sound – The CrunchBros

We all know Candace Cameron Bure loves the Bible, and of course there’s nothing wrong with that. But she keeps doing these cutesy Bible videos where she lip-syncs to a baby voice, and I find them deeply unsettling. Also, Candace posted this video amid major uncertainty about the outcome of the Presidential election, and I don’t love the sentiment that we should just stop being worried about real world sh*t because of the Bible. That’s not how the world works!

Howie Mandel

@officialhowiemandelCan’t bear it♬ Where Is The Love? – The Black Eyed Peas

Y’all know by know that I’m not the biggest fan of Howie Mandel’s TikToks, but whatever, some people like them. But my nerves are already shot, and I definitely didn’t need to see this humongous teddy bear barreling toward me today. The “Where Is The Love” sound is majorly trending on TikTok right now, and I have to say, this is one of my least favorite takes on it.

October 24-30:

Bob Saget

@bobsaget##WAP ##chores♬ WAP(feat. Megan Thee Stallion) – Cardi B

The 60+ male celebs continue to crank out the content on TikTok, and I continue to hate it. I really thought we were done with “WAP” content a few weeks ago, but Bob Saget didn’t get a chance to post his take until this week. Well, it’s here, and it’s awful. The bucket and mop bit is pretty run of the mill, but the clip of him with water pouring out of his mouth? It’ll take me weeks to get over that. WEEKS! Note to any and all middle-aged celebs out there who have yet to post a “WAP” video: skip it, please!

Tyra Banks

@tyrabanks##Boo 🎃♬ original sound – Tyra Banks

First of all, Tyra has posted four different videos in the past week that she clearly filmed at the same time, so props to her for planning out her content! But this video made me die a little inside. She really thought she was doing something here! This feels like an over the top bit she would’ve done to introduce an acting challenge on America’s Next Top Model, but when she’s alone in her house doing it on TikTok, the whole thing just feels bizarre. Maybe if she had Miss J in the video it would’ve been better.

Jonathan Cheban

@foodgodName one fruit you can’t live without♬ Astronomia – Chiky Dee Jay

Every time I include a Foodgod TikTok on this list, I tell myself it’s going to be the last one, but he really outdid himself this week. He’s bugging out (as per usual) about some guava ice cream, and then he does a slurping noise/motion toward the camera that is so foul, I honestly think he belongs in prison. I can’t even describe how uncomfortable I am right now, but if you watch the video, you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Jonathan, PLEASE!

Meghan Trainor

@meghantrainorWash your hands for 20 SECONDS to Safeguard your family💦Challenging @ryan.trainor to come clean w/ @safeguardsoap ##SafeguardSplash ##ad ##WashAwayGerms♬ original sound – Meghan Trainor

As part of this ad she did for a soap brand, Meghan Trainor was supposed to “come clean” about something, and the big secret she chose was that she likes eating chips with ketchup, and drinks milk with ice cubes in it. Okay, so first of all, what a lame confession. But als0—EW! Potato chips with ketchup is not something I want to try, but whatever, I guess I low-key get it. But this adult woman is drinking whole glasses of milk with ICE CUBES??? I knew I didn’t like her for a reason.

October 17-23:

James Charles

@jamescharlesbless u♬ original sound – James Charles

Personally, I always cringe when James Charles tries to remind us he can sing, but this one is especially bad because the video starts with him sneezing INTO HIS HAND. In this time of widespread germophobia, could James not at least show proper sneezing protocol on camera?? And then, without washing his hands or anything, he touches his face!!! James, what are you doing!!!

Bryce Hall

@brycehallgolf day w the boy @imgriffinjohnson♬ original sound – timothée chalamet edits!

Earlier this week, the tabloids were all over the story of how TikTok star Bryce Hall got into a brawl with staff at a restaurant in LA after they told him he wasn’t allowed to vape at his table. For reference, this is the same asshole who got his electricity shut off by the city after he refused to stop having parties during the pandemic. In this TikTok, we see him at the golf course in the same outfit that he was wearing during the fight, and it’s so cringe to watch him just do like, anything. I don’t understand why all these random hot guys are so famous, but can we please cancel Bryce Hall?

Woah Vicky

@realwoahvicky♬ original sound – Vicky

If you’re unfamiliar with Woah Vicky, welcome to a very specific corner of the internet. She’s a 20-year-old social media star and sometimes rapper who’s probably best known for two things: falsely claiming to be Black, and getting in a full-on fist fight with Bhad Bhabie. She also has arguably one of the most annoying voices of anyone on the planet, and this video of her belting out “A Thousand Miles” in the back of a car is the vocal equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Okay, sorry for doing that to you, you may now go back to pretending you don’t know who she is.

Meghan Trainor

@meghantrainorWE VOTED!!!!!!!! 🎉🇺🇸♬ Register and GO VOTE – Meghan Trainor

Is it a good thing that Meghan Trainor is using her platform to encourage everyone to vote? Absolutely! But I did not need to come on TikTok today and be assaulted by the visual of Spy Kids star Daryl Sabara twerking for the camera. Absolutely not, no way. This is too much! The voting song is cute; she should’ve just posted a video of herself and kept it moving.

October 10-16:

Candace Cameron Bure

@candacecameronbThe Bible. Another blessing.♬ original sound – Prince Tai

Candace Cameron Bure being religious is nothing new, and I’m certainly not going to roast her for that. But I have no issue roasting her for this bizarre choreographed dance where she uses her Bible as a prop. This feels like one of the less impressive routines from Dance Moms, but performed by a 50-year-old woman with a not-great sense of rhythm. I expected there to at least be a Bible verse in the caption or something, but it appears that Candace just felt compelled to dance.

Melissa Gorga

@melissagorgaBack off the closet 💅🏼 ##envybymg ##fyp ##foryoupage♬ original sound – Melissagorga

This TikTok is pretty standard stuff from Melissa, except for the fact that there are two random men sitting in the background, both wearing masks and looking very confused. Melissa, who are these dudes? Neither of them are her husband (ily Joey), and they certainly don’t look like they’re interested in being in a TikTok. This is why I don’t make TikToks in public.

Jonathan Cheban

@foodgodPick a color ##sugarfactory♬ Freak by Doja Cat. On soundcloud – coen💗

My nemesis was back at it this week, attending one of those godforsaken Sugar Factory events that Kardashian-adjacent celebs thrive on. This time, rather than going for some diabetes fishbowl cocktail, Jonathan tried some sliders with rainbow buns, and I’ve never wanted to throw up more than I do right now. Sorry, but a GREEN hamburger bun belongs nowhere near a human digestive system. Every day we stray further from god’s light.

Jessica Alba

@jessicaalbapumpkin 🎃 cookies @foodstirs inspired by @honest limited edition Fall diaper 🍁🍪🍂🍎 🎃☕️ ##fallvibes ##fallaesthetic ##honestfallchallenge♬ original sound – Yo Mama

I respect Jessica Alba’s business woman hustle, and she’s undoubtedly more successful than I will ever be. But you know what I don’t want to see? Recipe ideas that are inspired by DIAPERS. Yes, I swear to god, this cookie recipe is inspired by Jessica’s new line of fall-themed diapers. The cookies look yummy, but now I’m literally going to be thinking of a baby’s sh*t the entire time I’m eating them. No thank you!

October 2-9:

JoJo Siwa

@itsjojosiwa

MJ🤍⚡️ I learned my first MJ dance today!!! This is the real choreo from his “This Is It” tour!!!🤟🏼

♬ original sound – JoJo Siwa

Soooo… who’s gonna tell JoJo Siwa about Michael Jackson? She didn’t do anything wrong here—we all love MJ’s music, and the dancing is great, but I feel like someone on her team should maybe steer her away from doing more of these videos in the future. She’s 17, she can handle the truth. Learn some of Janet’s choreography instead!

Dr. Phil

@drphil

Afternoon vibe. @420doggface208

♬ Dreams (2004 Remaster) – Fleetwood Mac

Dr. Phil is quickly becoming one of the TikTokers I love to hate the most, and this video of him trying to be seductive while driving a golf cart and chugging cranberry juice will most likely give me nightmares. The “daddy” video was funny and all, but we cannot let Dr. Phil think he is some kind of sex symbol. 2020 is already bad enough, and I cannot handle this.

Jenny McCarthy

@mrs.wahlberg

It happened. ##realityripple 👻

♬ original sound – Jenny McCarthy

Does Jenny McCarthy actually have ghosts in her house? She sure thinks so! This video feels like a bootleg version of Paranormal Activity, except nothing interesting happens, and the protagonist is an anti-vaxxer. No thanks! This week, Jenny also posted a TikTok of her trying on one of the heads of the Masked Singer costumes (she’s a judge), and I can only imagine how many germs are in those things. Ew!

Logan Paul

@loganpaulmy first mistake was trying to be cool ##fyp ##foryou

♬ original sound – Logan Paul

Logan’s brother Jake has barely posted on TikTok since his house got raided by the FBI over the summer, but the elder Paul brother is still up to his old, annoying ways. This week, he posted a video of himself walking off of a private jet, and accidentally spilling a briefcase full of cash. I’m 95% sure this was a staged video and he did it on purpose, because that’s kind of his whole thing, but either way, this video is obnoxious. Idk if Logan is aware of what’s happening in the world rn (probs not), but most people don’t have private jets and boxes of money lying around.

September 26-October 2:

Howie Mandel

@officialhowiemandel##duet with @officialhowiemandel♬ original sound – Howie Mandel

I’m not sure I really get the point of Howie’s original video, and the duet he did with himself is even more lame. Howie’s dad humor has proved really popular on TikTok, but as I’ve said before, it just does nothing for me.

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeauloluse protection @noahcyrus♬ original sound – Tana Mongeau

At this point, I’ve really discarded any expectations about Tana Mongeau following COVID protocols, but this is just flat-out dumb, and the video isn’t even funny! She’s kissing Noah Cyrus (Miley’s little sister) with masks on, and I really can’t with the whole mask kissing thing. If it’s your actual partner, fine, it’s just a little weird, but you shouldn’t be doing this with randos.

Jason Derulo

@jasonderuloMy Imagination when Mom says “Money doesn’t grow on trees”♬ Funny Thing – Thundercat

Jason Derulo has made a second career out of doing the most on TikTok, and this money tree video is no exception. Truly,  I feel bad for whatever assistant had to spend an hour taping fake dollar bills to the leaves of this tree, and then another hour sweeping them all up off the ground afterward. The video isn’t even funny, so like, is this worth it?

Addison Rae

@addisonretalking to the canyon @sherinicolee♬ original sound – Josh<3

Welcome back, Addison and Sheri! First off, I still don’t understand how these TikTok famous kids with millions of followers getting away with posting such lazy, uninteresting videos. For the men, it’s the sh*tty shirtless dancing, and for people like Addison and Charli, it’s the sh*tty dancing, but with shirts on. Also, I still don’t want to see thirsty Mama Sheri dancing on my For You Page. Sorry, not sorry. At least the background is scenic?

September 21-25:

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag@prattdaddy Sale today! Use code flash20 for 20% off aquamarines and druzy agate!!!!!♬ Whole Lotta Choppas – Sada Baby

After a few weeks of leaving her followers high and dry, my cringe queen Heidi finally returned to TikTok this week. Apparently she didn’t use her time way working on new video concepts, because this week she delivered another video of her making googly eyes at the camera while waving around some of Spencer’s crystals. At least she was smart to use a trending song, but she didn’t actually really do the trend. Heidi, please never stop.

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeaulolhahahaahahahahahahaha this might be my favorite sound♬ As An Accountant – Rocky Paterra

It’s definitely not breaking news that Tana Mongeau gets fillers, and I really don’t care one way or the other, but oh my god, why is no one at the med spa wearing a f*cking mask??? The only time anyone in this situation should be mask-free is if they’re literally having something injected into the lower half of their face, so it’s disappointing to see supposed medical professionals being so care-free. We know Tana isn’t being that careful when it comes to social distancing, but you’d expect better from someone who sees patients for a living.

Jonathan Cheban

@heidimontag@prattdaddy Sale today! Use code flash20 for 20% off aquamarines and druzy agate!!!!!♬ Whole Lotta Choppas – Sada Baby

Usually, Jonathan Cheban makes this list for disgusting videos of him shoving way too much food in his mouth at once, but he switched things up this week by trying to do comedy. He’s on a stationary bike located on a rooftop, which then blasts off into the moon. Cool effect honestly, but it’s totally ruined by him calling out “FG phone home” over and over again. To be fair, he does look like an alien, but honestly I’d prefer he sticks to the nasty food videos in the future.

Addison Rae

@addisonre@sherinicolee♬ THICK – DJ Chose & Beatking

Addison isn’t really doing anything wrong here, but her mother Sheri (whose “WAP” dance made this list previously) continues to give me a great deal of bad vibes. The thirst just radiates from every pore of her being, and to be honest, I don’t know why she insists on doing these stupid dances with her daughter. I really hope rumors about this family getting a reality show aren’t real, because this woman does not need any more attention.

September 14-20:

KJ Apa

@kjapacFollow @adamisgreat14 💥 for a follow back ! ❤️Quick now ! ##fy ##riverdale♬ original sound – KJ Apa

Pardon me if I missed something here, but why on earth is KJ Apa dipping his hair in his tea? And why is he then letting the tea drip off of his hair and into his mouth? This is a bizarre thing to do in the first place, and given that his hair looks greasy AF, this cannot be remotely sanitary. The one plus here is that I guess the orange hair means that Riverdale really is happening again, so congrats if you’re one of the 10 people still watching.

Dr. Phil

@drphilSharing some fun psychological facts with @onlyjayus ! ##LearnOnTikTok ##DidYouKnow ##Psychology♬ original sound – Dr. Phil

In this video, Dr. Phil shares some “fun psychological facts”, which are mostly oversimplified life hacks that I’m not have any real basis in psychology. The facts are pretty lame overall, but I take personal offense to Dr. Phil’s suggestion that we should all be getting ready for work like normal even if we’re all still working from home. Dr. Phil, why do you care if I’m wearing sweatpants for the 200th day in a row? Mind your own business!

Kourtney Kardashian

@kourtneykardashian♬ L’appuntamento – Alessandro Alessandroni

Kourtney hadn’t posted a TikTok in like, three months, but she made her big return to the ‘Tok with this bizarre photo slideshow of her walking through the hall of her house. The music is weird, the angle is weird, and the photos look like they were taken on an iPhone from 2011. Kourt, are you okay? I guess Addison wasn’t around to help her make this one, because the quality is seriously lacking.

Howie Mandel

@officialhowiemandel##nothing♬ original sound – Howie Mandel

Like I’ve said before, Howie Mandel is huge on TikTok, and I’ve never quite gotten the appeal. Whatever, people like dad humor I guess. But there is something so wrong about seeing Howie Mandel—one of the most famous bald people—wearing a wig, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it’s this specific wig, but this video is making my physically uncomfortable. Howie, please go back to being bald, it’s for the greater good.

September 5-13:

Addison Rae

@addisonre♬ American Boy but Shibuya is there too – goalsounds

I have no issue being a little embarrassing in public in the name of getting ~content~, but doing a TikTok dance in the middle of a crowded restaurant, in the middle of a pandemic, while randos are everywhere around you? It’s a little much for me. Addison has a big empty house to half-ass these dances in! Or she could go to Kourtney’s house! Of course, because TikTok is wild, this video still got over two million likes. Why do I even try?

Dr. Phil

@drphil##YouHaveTo stop calling me “daddy.” I ain’t ya daddy.♬ you have to stop supporting trump – hannah_harpist

Dr. Phil’s video pleading with people to stop calling him daddy went totally viral over the weekend, and I have to admit, it’s grown on me. The first time I saw it, I was horrified—both with what I was seeing, and the idea that anyone would call him daddy in the first place. But now that I’ve seen it a few (dozen) more times, I’ve come to appreciate this as the comedy gold that it is. Dr. Phil, I might be cringing, but please make more of these videos.

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeaulolok and this is why i shouldn’t do the trends hahahahahahh @boasteakhouse♬ original sound – routinesbymills

Just like Addison, Tana also made a TikTok at a restaurant this week, but hers is cringe for an entirely different reason. While she giggles into her phone camera, we see a waiter bringing her food in full mask, gloves, glasses, and face shield. I’m not trying to shame anyone for supporting restaurants right now, but something about making a stupid video while your waiter looks like a f*cking stormtrooper feels… dystopian. I hope she at least asked the waiter if he was okay with her posting this.

Derek Hough

@derekhoughGym Fight ##fitness ##health ##fight ##gym♬ original sound – jena

Derek Hough’s videos always make me feel mildly uncomfortable, and this one where he’s shirtless and keeps punching the camera reeks of toxic masculinity. I’m not saying Derek himself is toxic, but I just don’t love this vibe. Also, are these fitness facilities in his home? Private? He’s not wearing a mask at all, so I certainly hope this isn’t a public gym. The thought of stepping foot into a gym right now makes me shiver, so it’s kind of wild that other people are just hanging out making TikToks by the weight machines.

August 29-September 4:

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag♬ Disney Pictures Intro – Disney Pictures

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. I am continually impressed with Heidi Montag’s ability to pump out the unintentionally disturbing content on TikTok, and this drag makeup filter is some of her worst work yet. The Disney theme music has never been more chilling. If you’re reading this and you know Heidi personally, please ask her to stop.

Jonathan Cheban

@foodgodWho likes banana pudding??♬ original sound – foodgod

I mean, do I need to explain why I cringed at this video of FoodGod shoveling banana pudding into his mouth with the world’s largest spoon? Everything this clown does is over the top, and this ridiculous dessert tower is no different. Honestly, this stuff is probably delicious, but now it’s been ruined for me. Thanks, Jonathan!

Perez Hilton

@perezhiltonIs this the end of the ##FreeBritney movement? Probably not. But, I don’t think ##BritneySpears’ lawyer would lie to the court. Do u?♬ Follow PerezHilton on TikTok – perezhilton

If you’re still getting your celeb news from Perez Hilton in 2020, I have questions, but his TikTok videos are A LOT. If you actually want to know what’s going on with Britney Spears and her conservatorship, read this article instead. It’s more coherent, and you don’t have to stare into Perez’s creepy eyes.

Howie Mandel

@officialhowiemandel##duet with @ramanaborba she just needs practice♬ WAP(feat. Megan Thee Stallion) – Cardi B

If you’re one of the three remaining famous people on TikTok who hasn’t already done the “WAP” dance, I have a message for you: YOU DON’T HAVE TO! Please, for the love of god, just leave it alone! There are a lot of things I need right now, but seeing Howie Mandel twerk is absolutely not on that list. I really wish I could unsee this.

August 22-28:

Meghan Trainor

@meghantrainorHow I FaceTime family and besties♬ original sound – meghantrainor

Ring ring—it’s your sleep paralysis demon calling! Meghan Trainor’s TikTok presence is all over the map, and while I don’t love when she tries to do cute videos with her husband Daryl Sabara, I certainly don’t love this either. Idk what she was trying to accomplish here, but now her close-up face is permanently seared into my brain.

Bob Saget

@bobsaget##LoveStory♬ Love Story Discolines – ethanishung

It’s always a bumpy ride with boomers on TikTok, and personally, I never needed to see Danny Tanner dancing to a remix of “Love Story.” When he pulled out the ring box, I was expecting something funny to happen, but instead, he reveals a wire ring and then just kind of stands around, and then starts hip thrusting. Ew. Bob, you have to have a clear concept if you don’t want the video to fall flat!

Sheri Easterling

@sherinicoleei warned u @addisonre hope this teaches you to be nice to your mama ❤️ ##foryou ##ChoresInThisHouse ##foryoupage ##ChemicalHearts♬ WAP (feat. Megan Thee Stallion) – Cardi B

The name Sheri Easterling probably doesn’t ring a bell, but she’s Addison Rae‘s mom, and she has over 10 million followers, because TikTok is wild. Everything about Sheri’s online presence is cringe, but she really outdid herself with her take on the viral “WAP” dance. Last week, I came for Lisa Rinna for her “WAP” video, but this is much, much worse. The thirst is REAL, and I’m upset.

Kevin Bacon

@kevinbaconGood morning TikTok! Do you love mango? This is how I like to eat it. ##EasyMeal ##TikTokRecipe ##SummerDIY ##Mango♬ Memories (In the Style of Maroon 5) – Instrumental King

Back to the boomer men! Kevin Bacon is on TikTok for some reason, and this week he shared a groundbreaking recipe for how to eat a mango. The whole thing is uncomfortable, because Kevin has to whisper because his wife is sleeping. And then, at the end, he bites into the mango like a literal animal, and it’s just too much for me. Someone get this man a napkin.

August 15-21:

Jonathan Cheban

@foodgod♬ Tounge Tied – Grouplove

You know what I didn’t need to see at 10am today? Foodgod shoveling piping hot pizza into his mouth,  and then letting it drop back onto the plate. I realize that I’m now making all of you suffer through the same video, but sorry, we’re in this together. Every time I watch Jonathan Cheban’s videos they make me upset, which means I should probably just stop looking, but it’s like a car crash at this point.

Justin Bieber

@justinbieber♬ original sound – justinbieber

Justin Bieber only posts on TikTok sporadically, but when he does, it’s almost never good. In this one, he just sings a few seconds of his song “Intentions,” with a filter on his face that’s honestly disturbing to look at. By now, most celebrities as famous as Justin have either stopped using TikTok or invested money in being really good at TikTok (Jason Derulo, Will Smith), so Justin’s uncomfortable, poorly-lit videos feels like they’re from a different era (aka March 2020).

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag♬ Bulletproof – La Roux

God bless sweet Heidi Montag, who completely missed the point of this TikTok trend. You’re supposed to list some specific trauma you went through, and other top-tier examples include numerous people saying “I was on Dance Moms” and Claudia Conway saying “my mom is Kellyanne Conway.” Heidi has PLENTY of good material for this trend, like being married to Spencer Pratt, or her mom telling her she didn’t look pretty on TV after having 10 cosmetic surgeries, but she just went with “you can’t.” Heidi, I was rooting for you!!

Kelley Flanagan

@kelleyflanaganthat’s not what it’s suppose to look like 😭 ☺️♬ original sound – _madi.nicole

You’ll need your sound on for the full cringe effect of this one—it’s a real audiovisual experience. Kelley starts by failing miserably at a TikTok dance that she wasn’t equipped to try in the first place, and then we hear Pilot Pete behind the camera telling Kelley that she looks like a hot bunny. Pardon me while I throw up in my mouth. The gushy posts from these two have always rubbed me the wrong way, and this isn’t helping.

Lisa Rinna

@lisarinnaofficial##wap ##challange @bradgoreski ##fyp♬ original sound – lisarinnaofficial

Lisa Rinna’s signature dancing videos have recently become a source of conflict on RHOBH, and while I wouldn’t love it if my mom was posting stuff like this, Lisa can do whatever she wants. But with this “WAP” video, Lisa has really outdone herself. She’s flashing her crotch, she’s on the floor, she is truly doing the most. Whether you’re team Rinna or not, I really feel like this one could’ve stayed in the drafts.

August 8-14:

Hannah Godwin

@hannahg11HE DID NOT JUST GO THERE @therealdbcoop♬ original sound – hannahg11

This video of Hannah and Dylan doing the “It’s the (fill in the blank) for me” trend is actually really cute! Rather than cringing AT this one, I’m cringing on behalf of Hannah, who gets thoroughly clowned by Dylan when he brings up all the other guys she made out with while stringing him along on Bachelor in Paradise. Honestly, good for him for being able to joke about this, because it was pretty rough to watch. Ugh, I miss 2019.

Hannah Brown

@hannahkbrownwill the real hannah brown please stand up. ##ootd ##pjsallday ##stepintolove ##moodflip ##fyp ##fashion ##style ##streetstyle♬ for when ur indecisive – coolviv69

This video of Hannah trying on a bunch of different outfits exudes strong “I’m not like other girls” energy. Like, good for you, sometimes you wear dresses and sometimes you don’t—is that special? Also, we’re all at home 24/7, so wearing pajamas during the day is basically the norm at this point.

Kelley Flanagan

@kelleyflanaganI tried! ##Romeoandjulietchallenge♬ Love Story Discolines – ethanishung

The Bachelor ladies really had a strong showing this week, and this drone footage of Kelley’s awkward dancing on a rock just added to the overall cringe factor. Also… is she trying to say she and Pilot Pete are engaged?? Like, I don’t think she is, but also, is she? If not, the the part about pulling out a ring makes absolutely no sense. I guess I won’t waste too much brain power trying to figure it out.

Perez Hilton

@perezhiltonIt’s ##GriffinJohnson vs ##CharliDamelio’s parents! Whose side are U on? 🤭 Get my new memoir! Link in bio or at PerezHiltonBook.com♬ Shook – Tkay Maidza

Perez Hilton has always weirded me out, and watching him yell about 15-year-old Charli D’Amelio’s maybe-cheating scandal feels skeezy as f*ck. Perez has made numerous TikToks about Charli’s relationship status, and it’s… bizarre. Get a hobby! Also, this format of his head just popping into the screen from various angles is giving me a headache.

August 2-7:

Kelley Flanagan

@kelleyflanaganHappy birthday @pilot_pete ❤️❤️♬ Up Beat (Married Life) – Kenyi

This week was Pilot Pete’s 29th birthday, and Kelley celebrated her man with a montage of all their experiences as a couple. Well, all their experiences minus the time he dumped her on a TV show. But the actual cringe part of this is that their entire relationship has taken place during a pandemic, yet this video makes it clear they’ve been doing an awful lot of traveling in the last few months. I get that Peter is a pilot, but like, this is a lot.

JoJo Siwa

@itsjojosiwaMeet Mark:) @mark.bontempo♬ Famous (I’m the One) – Mozzy & IAMSU!

JoJo Siwa has a boyfriend! In case you don’t pay much attention to her, she’s actually not nine years old—she’s 17, and she’s dating a guy named Mark. She introduced him to her followers in this video where he’s wearing one of her signature ridiculous outfits, and you can just see the fear in his eyes, because he knows he’s about to be used for content for as long as this relationship lasts. Good luck, Mark, hope you like finding glitter everywhere!

Gabi Butler

@gabi_butler1617Having fun with these cuties today 💕 ##cheer ##fyp@ca_bobcat @helenandkennedy @addie.iix @tigerliv♬ Deuces – jordanaudiozz

Gabi Butler was one of the breakout stars of Netflix’s Cheer, which shockingly premiered in 2020, even though it feels like three years ago. This week, Gabi was apparently teaching a cheer session in Texas, where the coronavirus situation is… not great. It’s good that the kids are wearing masks, I guess, but they’re also all literally touching each other. With schools in many states reopening, this is about to be the norm, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

Pauly D

@djpaulydSuper Busy ##QuarantineLife ##quarantine ##fyp ##foryoupage ##paulyd ##djpaulyd♬ RICKY DESKTOP THE DICE BEAT – rickydesktop

Pauly D’s TikTok content is mostly fine, though I don’t love his Versace robe. But mainly, I need to bring up his brown leather couch, that looks like those mediocre ice cream sandwiches they handed out at elementary school events. You know, the ones that were wrapped in paper, and mostly just got on your hands? And on top of being ugly, I cannot imagine that is a comfortable couch. Pauly D, please get some better furniture!

Candace Cameron Bure

@candacecameronbHe-Hoo! ##soundofmusic ##LoveOverAll ##Dayspring ##CCBCollection♬ The Lonely Goatherd (From “The Sound of Music”) – Liz Robertson

Now that Fuller House is over, I guess Candace Cameron Bure has a lot of time on her hands, and she’s spending it… learning TikTok dances. Except, I’m not sure this is a TikTok dance so much as choreography from a middle school production of The Sound of Music. Bless her heart, Candace really is trying so hard here, and it shows! I would rather see her attempting the “Savage” dance, honestly, because at least it would be funny.

July 25-August 1:

Addison Rae

@addisonre@ondreazlopez♬ hatchback – kekeclipz

Ah yes, Addison, our favorite new Kardashian! Here’s the thing. Addison is so popular on TikTok that she doesn’t even have to care about the quality of her videos anymore. Like, if two people walk in front of the camera while you’re recording, DO ANOTHER TAKE! If my friend is taking pics of me, I’m not gonna post the one with her thumb in front of the lens. This still got five million likes (I’m sick), but come on.

Meghan Trainor

@meghantrainorThat’s my husband @darylsabara 🤣😍💖 ##greysanatomy♬ Grey’s Anatomy – Merrick Lowell

Remember how Meghan Trainor is married to the buy who played Juni in Spy Kids? Well, if you forgot, there you go. Apparently they’ve been watching Grey’s Anatomy recently, and Daryl (the husband) bought some scrubs so he can join in. The thing is, I think they’re joking, but getting cast on Grey’s would be the biggest thing to happen to his career in a very long time. He wishes he could hang with Meredith! Also, I have an inherent distrust of people who are just now discovering Grey’s Anatomy for the first time.

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeaulolhahahahaha us literally before grocery shopping @abbyrao @saydenseay♬ PICK UP – DaBaby, Quavo

Is it any surprise that Tana Mongeau isn’t following proper social distancing protocols? I already would’ve said no, and then she was seen at that massive influencer party a couple weeks ago. But this time, she’s dancing with her friends in the parking lot before going grocery shopping (why), and though they’re wearing masks, she and her friend “kiss” each other. No, please no. Wearing a mask is great, but it’s not just a cute little costume piece for your funny TikTok.

Derek Hough

@derekhoughCan’t help my face ##face ##expression ##dance @nbcworldofdance♬ Watermelon Sugar – Harry Styles

It’s always a little cringe when celebs upload promo videos on TikTok, but I get it. But this—a montage of Derek Hough making faces on World of Dance, set to Harry Styles’ “Watermelon Sugar”—is beyond. The song choice has nothing to do with anything, and the faces are… a lot. It’s no secret that the Hough family is not my favorite, and this isn’t doing anything to help.

Francesca Farago

@francescafaragoI have absolutely no idea what’s going on here 😂 @colecarrigan1 @caseyboonstra @haleycureton @raiane.macedo♬ suono originale – lamaryrose

Last week, Too Hot To Handle’s Francesca was randomly hanging out with Tana, and this week she’s found a new crew of friends to not quarantine with. Honestly, seeing any video of a group of friends who obviously aren’t social distancing is a little triggering right now, and the LA influencer community seems to be following absolutely no rules. But aside from that, WTF is this video? Are they playing ring around the rosy? Grow up, lol.

July 14-24:

Nikita Dragun

@nikitadragun♬ Cousin Stizz – Perfect Ft. City Girls – jgonz860

We already came for YouTube star Nikita Dragun for having a giant mask-free party this week, but the poor pandemic decisions don’t end there. In this video, she’s surrounded by a posse of young men that all look exactly alike, and again, there are no masks here. Nikita, honey, I can send you a mask if you can’t find one!

Jonathan Cheban

@foodgodEverything’s BIGGER in Texas! 🍨##foodgod ##icecream ##fypシ♬ original sound – foodgod

Jonathan Cheban, AKA Foodgod, has me blocked on Instagram, so honestly I forget that he exists sometimes. But I’m not safe from seeing his content on TikTok, and it’s just as annoying as you would expect. He posts A LOT, and right now I’m particularly upset by his horrible acting in this obviously staged video. A ginormous ice cream sandwich is pretty much par for the course for Foodgod, but still, ew. Also, I hope this is an old video, because no one is wearing a mask.

Howie Mandel

@officialhowiemandel♬ Laugh Pause – crispinion

Despite being decades older than the main TikTok demographic, Howie Mandel is actually super successful on the platform. Apparently a lot of Zoomers didn’t even realize he was famous before TikTok, which like, smh. A lot of his videos are cute and/or funny, but this? This is straight-up nightmare fuel. I feel like I’m watching a haunted jack-in-the-box, and I’d like it to stop.

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeaulolhahahahahahaha francesca is always like what is this SOUND @francescafarago♬ ppcocaine unreleased song – sugarllme

Please welcome back to the stage, Tana Mongeau! After partying with Nikita Dragun this week, Tana also hung out with Francesca from Too Hot To Handle. I swear, these people are seeing more friends in a week during a pandemic than I ever did before corona. Aside from the cringe aspect of hanging out in a state where social gatherings are currently prohibited, this video is also just a complete mess. Truly, what is going on here?

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag##WhatsUpDocChallenge @prattdaddy ##crystals ##positivity ##goodenergyonly♬ Merrily We Roll – Looney Tunes Cartoons

Someday I will stop paying attention to Heidi’s tragic TikToks, but that day is not today. As usual, she’s shilling for Spencer’s crystal company by holding the crystals up and looking at them like she’s confused. This time, she’s got Looney Toons as her backing track, and her faces and fake running are too much for me to handle. Heidi, please.

July 4-13:

Tana Mongeau

@tanamongeaulolit’s ok me 2 @jakepaul 😫❤️♬ Theres more to me than an ostrich video – jujuflowervibes

I think I speak for all of us when I say “TANA NOOOOOOO.” That’s right, Tana is hanging out with Jake Paul again (that’s her ex-fake husband, if you can’t be bothered to remember anything about these people). She says they’re just friends, but 1) why is he cuddling with her during a pandemic and 2) why would she even want to be friends with him? Idk, I just have a bad feeling about this.

Reese Witherspoon

@officialreesetiktokWhen your kid has his first single out! @deaconmusic @🎶💫 ##longrun @ninanesbitt♬ Long Run (feat. Nina Nesbitt) – Deacon & Nina Nesbitt

For this one, I’m cringing in solidarity with Reese’s 16-year-old son, Deacon. He just released his first single last week, and of course, Reese wants to turn it into a TikTok dance. The song is catchy AF, btw. I’m sure Deacon appreciates his mom’s support, and it’s cute that she’s so excited for him, but that doesn’t mean the cringe level isn’t off the charts.

Jason Tartick

@jason_tartick3 cups of coffee + Hamilton Week + Only 3 hours of sleep = THIS♬ You’ll Be Back – Jonathan Groff & Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton

Since Hamilton came to Disney+ earlier this month, it’s been a big trending topic, but a TikTok of Jason Tartick lip-syncing to King George’s song is one piece of content I would’ve been fine without. I can just imagine Kaitlyn coaching him through this, and he probably did 100 takes to get it right. I guess it’s kind of cute, but still, I’ll just watch the real thing.

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag@prattdaddy♬ GOOBA – 6ix9ine

Look, I almost feel bad including Heidi again, but how does she not know that you if you want the bottle to “explode”, you have to shake the champagne before popping the cork? I refuse to believe Heidi Montag has never popped a bottle in her life. Also, what is this photo shoot for? She’s wearing a yellow dress with sneakers, and in another video, she’s posing with a cowboy hat (not wearing it, posing with it). Whaat is going on?

Perez Hilton

@perezhiltonThis makes no sense to me!!! Seems… gross? Crazy!!! 🤔 Get my new autobiography! Click the link in my bio or on Amazon or at PerezHiltonBook.com♬ This Magic Moment – Ben E. King

This emoji filter that Perez Hilton is using is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. You thought The Shining was scary? Try Perez talking about dates through a giant lip emoji. Nope, no thank you, I’d like my money back. Can’t wait to have nightmares about this tonight!

June 26-July 3:

Heidi Montag

@heidimontag@prattdaddy♬ Follow me if you see this – autumnaudioz

Has Heidi been possessed by aliens? In this video, she’s trying the famous TikTok “slow walk” (which she’s not very good at), but she’s also holding two of Spencer’s crystal necklaces. She says that the crystals have her energy moving, but there is absolutely no energy happening in this video. Her dead-eyed stare into the camera might give me nightmares, not gonna lie.

Jake Paul

@jakepaulthis wasn’t a smart idea @kingrygarcia♬ original sound – jakepaul

Around here, Jake Paul is mostly known for his fake marriage to Tana Mongeau, and for generally being an ass, but did you know he’s a professional boxer now? He apparently won his first pro fight in January, but he’s not looking too good in this clip. I know this list is about cringing, but watching him get punched repeatedly is… kind of satisfying.

Kelley Flanagan

@kelleyflanagan@pilot_pete my buddy through it all ❤️♬ original sound – ashlaward

I’m sure you weren’t wondering, but just in case you were, Kelley and Pilot Pete are still going strong. Kelley posted this sappy montage of their times together, set to a TikTok sound of some girl talking about how life’s small moments are beautiful. Ew. Conveniently, Kelley left out any clips of her time on The Bachelor, because I guess those don’t really fit with the narrative.

 

Rita Ora

@ritaoraLove is love ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜!!! Happy ##PRIDE!!♬ How To Be Lonely – Rita Ora

We’ve talked a lot about performative allyship in the last month or so, and while I love Rita Ora, this Pride TikTok is a damn mess. She’s been quarantining at a rented cottage in the Cotswolds (very The Holiday vibes), which she filled with about 1,000 balloons, just so she can bust through them and shout “Happy Pride!” Lol, thanks Rita! Also, her new single is playing in the background, because she has to get her product placement in there somewhere. I really hope she donated to some LGBTQ organizations or something, because this video is not it.

James Charles

@jamescharlestag yourself I’m the chip clip holding my pants together♬ Then Leave – BeatKing

As tempting as it is, I am not here to clown James Charles for his dancing. I could, trust me, but that’s not truly the issue here. Instead, I’m choosing to focus on the moment when he turns sideways, and we see that the waist of his jeans is being held in with a literal clamp. This is a classic move on Say Yes To The Dress, but those women are trying on sample-size dresses that don’t actually fit them. James, please get some jeans that fit. I know you can afford them!

Check back next week for what TikTok messes the celebs have in store for us—can’t wait to see how they continue to ruin this platform!

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Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; tanamongeaulol, officialreesetiktok, jason_tartick3, perezhilton, heidimontag, jakepaul, kelleyflanagan, hannahg11, jasonderulo, ritaora, jamescharles / TikTok

Coronavirus Thirst Traps Are The Worst Take Yet

I obviously don’t need to tell you that coronavirus is a big f*cking deal at this point. Flights are cheap AF, Coachella got postponed six months, and most of you are probably reading this from the comfort of your bed thanks to work from home policies being implemented. While you may or may not be stressing about how the disease could affect you personally, to quote Kourtney Kardashian, there’s people that are dying. But in any time of crisis, we can count on one group of people to be completely tactless: influencers! And of course, coronavirus is no exception.

Naturally, coronavirus has been a hot topic on social media, and the memes are fire. But influencers really just don’t want us to have nice things, so now we have to suffer through…  coronavirus-themed thirst traps. Lord Jesus, fix it.

For our first example, we have none other than classic problematic YouTuber Logan Paul. (Not the one who is/was married to Tana Mongeau—that’s Jake.) You might know Logan from the controversy surrounding the time he accidentally filmed a dead body in a Japanese forest. Fun times. Well, back in January, Logan posted a shirtless pic of him and some female friends wearing gas masks on a private jet, with the caption “f**k the corona virus.” Oh boy. At the time, the virus hadn’t spread nearly as much, but there were already thousands of confirmed cases, and over 200 deaths. This is pretty much what I expect from Logan Paul, but it’s not a great look.

View this post on Instagram

f**k the corona virus

A post shared by Logan Paul (@loganpaul) on

Around the same time, this German fitness influencer, Fitness Oskar, posted a picture that honestly makes me want to throw up in my mouth. Not because of the masks, which are just purely stupid, but his gigantic f*cking arm! Is this a Photoshop fail, or could this man smother me with his bicep in approximately 2.5 seconds? I hate to use this word in 2020, but I am shook. But also, the making out with the masks on is a big f*cking yikes. I just hate everything about this.

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CORONA-VIRUS | Wir beten, dass es endlich gestoppt wird 🙏 Dieses Bild hat sich tatsächlich mehrmals so abgespielt. Auf öffentlichen Plätzen küssen @healthy_mandy und ich uns nur mit Mundschutz. Wir haben keine Angst vor dem Virus, aber wir tragen dennoch, wie ca. 90% der Menschen hier in Thailand die Masken, um uns nicht anzustecken. Unseren Urlaub genießen wir trotzdem und hoffen, dass dieses Elend bald gestoppt wird! Wir bekommen täglich sehr viele Fragen zum Virus: „Kann man überhaupt noch nach Asien reisen?“ „Sollte ich meinen Urlaub absagen?“ „Haben die Menschen vor Ort Angst?“ „Wie wird hier mit der Katastrophe umgegangen?“ Diese Fragen, und viele mehr, haben wir nun in einem YouTubevideo beantwortet, welches ich euch in meiner Story verlinkt habe. Was denkt ihr über das Virus? Habt ihr Angst? Tragen die Menschen in eurer Stadt auch Mundschutz? Denkt ihr die Situation wird jetzt in den Griff bekommen oder wird sich das Virus weiter ausbreiten? Schreibt eure Meinung in die Kommentare, sie würde mich sehr interessieren. (P.S.: Kein Photoshop) #corona #coronavirus #virus #kiss #kuss #asien #asienurlsub #thailand #phuket #palmen #palmtree #beach #strand

A post shared by Youtube & Fitness (@fitnessoskar) on

In the caption, Oskar says that he and his fiancée only kiss in public when they’re wearing masks, and that they didn’t stop the masks from letting them enjoy their vacation in Thailand. Okay, so first of all I’m not sure I understand the purpose of the masks in the first place, but also like, you could just not kiss in public? This might be a shock to some people, but PDA isn’t a requirement for a happy relationship.

In the time since these posts, the coronavirus situation has gotten a lot more serious, so naturally you’d think influencers would now be using their platforms to spread vital information about how to stay safe. LMAO, if you actually would think that, you clearly don’t know influencers. Just a few days ago, life coach and “good vibes” influencer Barrett Pall posted a gym locker room selfie, urging his followers to go about their lives, and “avoid the panic, the trolls, and anyone who has continuously existed in fear and negativity.” Sounds good. I’ll tell that to all the old people who are scared to leave their houses right now! Pall ended his caption with #byefelicia, which sends a really strong message to coronavirus that it’s not welcome here. Good work, I think COVID-19 is really scared!

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I’m not letting the #coronavirus stop me from doing anything, and you shouldn’t let it either according to most cdc and expert reports. Continue to take standard and normal precautions: wash your hands, if you’re feeling unwell then stay home or go to the doctor, and be mindful when around people who are more susceptible. Avoid the panic, the trolls, and anyone who has continuously existed in fear and negativity. Some people just love to get worked up. #needleeffect #gay #byefelicia #swimmer

A post shared by LIFE COACH + WORLD TRAVEL (@barrettpall) on

Barrett Pall isn’t the only influencer to recently make light of the coronavirus pandemic. In recent weeks in Australia, there’s been a shortage of toilet paper as people have stocked up in case quarantines become necessary. Influencer Ali Baxter took it upon herself to use the shortage as an opportunity for a cute caption, and then plugged her discount code for an athleisure company. Love that business mentality.

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Just out here looking for some toilet paper🧻🧻….. Anyone else?😂seriously tho! 📸 @dayslikethesephoto Wearing @ryderwear NKD Collection- use ALI10 to save! . . . . . . . . . . #ryderwear #dayslikethese #teamryderwear #ryderwearwomen #ryderwearathlete #sydney #northernbeaches

A post shared by ALI BAXTER (@ali.baxter) on

It appears that many influencers are thinking about the potential shortage of toilet paper, but thankfully, they’re not letting it interrupt their thirst trap game. California-based influencer Troy Pes, who apparently isn’t familiar with the concept of shirts, put it perfectly when he said, “Take all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer that you want but not the selfie mirrors.” Wow, I know I’m inspired. In tough times like this, you have to stand up for something, and selfie mirrors are definitely a noble cause.

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Take all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer that you want but not the selfie mirrors

A post shared by Troy (@troypes) on

As the situation with coronavirus continues to develop, what will influencers around the world do? If we all end up trapped in our houses, they might be running low on inspirational shots of themselves at the beach, but at least they can take mirror selfies from the safety of their own homes. During these uncertain times, make sure you’re keeping the influencers in your thoughts and prayers, because it’s really tough to figure out how to position your thirsty content when there’s a global pandemic happening. Who said these people had no talent?

Images: fitnessoskar, loganpaul, barrettpall, ali.baxter, troypes / Instagram

Surprise, Tana Mongeau Is Unhappy In Her Marriage

After all we’ve been through together, 2019 wouldn’t truly be complete without one more Tana Mongeau update, would it? When the year started, Tana was best known to us as Bella Thorne’s girlfriend, and then things got confusing when she started flirting with Miley Cyrus on social media. But of course, the highlight of Tana’s thirsty 2019 was her abrupt engagement and fake marriage to fellow YouTube star Jake Paul. Over the summer, we watched in horror as they shoved their alleged love in our faces all over the internet, all the while wondering when this nightmare of a PR stunt would come to an end.

Well, after six months of waiting patiently forgetting that these people exist, Tana put out a video on Sunday talking all about how she’s—wait for it—not that happy! If you can’t see the look of shock on my face through the computer screen, that’s because there is no look of shock on my face. Literally no one thought this relationship would work out, but it’s still interesting to hear Tana open up about some of the specifics. Her video, which has the appropriately dramatic title “the truth about everything,” is 40 minutes long, so I really don’t expect you to watch it, but I’ll go over some of the biggest points.

To start, Tana filmed this video after taking a two-day “break” from social media. She acknowledges that this is a short break, but I would probably classify it as “not a break at all.” Like, I was just home for the holidays, and I practically went two days without going on social media without really trying. Anyway, Tana spends the entire video lying in bed, facing the camera sideways. I was going to make fun of her for this, but then I realized that this is literally what I look like when I’m working from home. That’s right guys, I’m currently horizontal. Props to Tana for not sitting up.

Tana opens the video by talking a little about her f*cked up past, which I don’t know the details of, because she covered that in another way-too-long video that I’m not going to watch. Then, she gets into how she started talking to Jake Paul, which sounds like the plot of a twisted rom-com where the main woman just kind of sucks. Basically, she was super in love with one guy, and then she started dating a different guy so she could “fall out of love with” the first guy, and then while she was dating the second guy, she was texting Jake the whole time. If that means nothing to you, Jake was pretty much the side-piece during a rebound. Sounds healthy!

Tana says that lots of people warned her about Jake’s problematic reputation, but explains that she was actually more attracted to that, probably because she’s also problematic AF. She says that she and Jake “have gone through so much of the same sh*t that I wanted to be the one to like, save him.” Oh honey, rule number one of dating f*cked-up guys is that you can never save them. It’s a waste of time. In the video, she literally says “Jake could kill my whole family and I’d still love him,” which is exactly the energy we’re NOT taking into 2020.

After Tana and Brad broke up “over weekend two of Coachella” (yikes), she and Jake started hooking up, but kept it on the down-low until people recognized Jake’s bed in one of her photos. For like two seconds, she makes it seem like she was sad people found out, but then she starts talking about how much she loved being swept up in the world of Jake Paul. She claims that she never actually cared about clout, which I feel like is a blatant lie, because why else would their wedding or literally any of this right now be happening.

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bet you didn’t think we’d be engaged for this long… #ThePauls 🖤

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on

As for the wedding, Tana says that “the wedding sh*t literally started as a joke,” but then they both just kept going with it. Okay, this is the first believable thing Tana has said yet. She says that she ignored any and all red flags, and that the wedding night was “hell” for her, because her dad had a stroke. She also says that she was angry about the infamous wedding livestream, but she went along with it because Jake wanted it.

Obviously Jake and Tana were doomed from the beginning, but it sounds like the biggest single problem was their lack of communication about what their open relationship meant. Tana says she was envisioning a chill arrangement where the both might hook up with someone else occasionally, but Jake took it as “him still being able to have sex with a new bitch every night.” And I OOP. Open relationships can be great, but those are two very different ideas, and in general, if you go into an open relationship just assuming sh*t and don’t clearly define your boundaries, you are setting yourself up to fail. So, again, not surprised about this. It didn’t help matters that Jake was seen hanging out with his ex, Erika Costell, which Tana apparently found out about on Twitter. Anddddd it just keeps getting worse.

Tana rambles on about some other topics in the video, but we never really get clarity on what’s happening between her and Jake right now. She doesn’t say that they’re broken up, but she does talk about a lot of this stuff in the past tense, and also says that they don’t “ever want to hate each other.” Yeah, that doesn’t make it sound like things are in an especially good place. We’ll have to wait for an official announcement to call a time of death on this relationship, but six months feels like pretty much what we expected.

Images: Tana Mongeau / YouTube; tanamongeau / Instagram

It Looks Like Jake Paul And Tana Mongeau’s Engagement Is Real

A couple weeks ago, news of Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau’s engagement ripped through the internet like the world’s thirstiest tornado. Of course, it had to happen on the one week of the year I’ve been out of the office, so I wasn’t around to report on the initial fallout, but luckily this sh*tshow is still going strong. Even though we all still have our doubts that this relationship is truly legit, these two are in it for the long haul (or at least the long con).

Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau wasted no time creating content to cash in on their relationship, including a whole set of JANA merch. Yes, that was the sound of me screaming into the void. It’s fine, I’m fine. Yesterday, Jake and Tana took another step toward proving their relationship is legit, in the form of a classic engagement photo shoot. Even though it’s physically impossible for me to not roll my eyes at everything they do, I can’t really be mad at this. Basically everyone does engagement photos, so it was a natural next step for these two pinnacles of thirst.

Here’s Jake Paul’s post with a bunch of the photos.

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shane dawson made this possible #engaged #inlove

A post shared by Jake Paul (@jakepaul) on

The photos are pretty tasteful in general, at least as much as we can expect from someone who did a naked photoshoot for her 21st birthday last month. Jake’s dog Thor is very cute, but I’m curious why his other dog, Moo, wasn’t included in the photos. Maybe he was at the groomer’s that day, or maybe he doesn’t think this relationship is real either.

Here’s Tana’s post with more photos:

View this post on Instagram

bet you didn’t think we’d be engaged for this long… #ThePauls ?

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on

Okay, I do have to say that those rings are beautiful. There have been rumors that Tana’s engagement ring might not be a real diamond, but I’m not going to pretend to be a gem expert. But the rings in this photo also got people talking about whether or not Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau might already be married. I need to sit down for a second, these two are giving me whiplash again.

Between the ring situation and Jake’s location tag of “MarriageToday,” people quickly began to wonder if there was a surprise wedding happening. Of course, I don’t know anything for sure, but I’m fairly confident that this isn’t a thing, mainly because both of their captions directly refer to their engagement. These idiots might not have the best judgment, but I’m hoping that they’re at least smart enough not to get married only a couple months into their relationship. Even as I was typing that sentence, I realized that I might be giving them too much credit.

Whatever, I’m standing my by gut instinct, I don’t think they’re married.

Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau are all about love and light these days, but the news of their engagement was emotional for Bella Thorne, who dated Tana until earlier this year. On the day the news broke, she posted these selfies to her finsta.

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When ur ex gets engaged ???????????????????????????????????

A post shared by Thatweirdbitchbella (@thatweirdbitchbella) on

In a subsequent post for Tana’s birthday, Bella seemed very supportive, but it’s still been a tough couple months for her, with the drama surrounding her breakup with Mod Sun, and the scandal that ended with her leaking her own nudes and feuding with Whoopi Goldberg.

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Through thick and thin?? I love you tana happy bday you beautiful beautiful special girl

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on

Tana commented “i love u forever and ever” on this photo, so it seems like everything is good between the two of them. As crazy as Tana is, it makes me happy that their friendship is intact after everything they’ve been through together.

So for now, I feel fairly confident that Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau aren’t married, but literally anything could happen with these two. We’ll be patiently waiting for the next updates about their relationship, but knowing them, we probably won’t have to actually be that patient.

Images: jakepaul, tanamongeau (2), thatweirdbitchbella, bellathorne / Instagram