When most people say they’re outdoorsy, they mean that they enjoy going on hikes. When I say I’m outdoorsy, I mean that I like drinking on rooftops. Maybe that’s why I don’t get many Hinge messages? Oops. Participating in my favorite pastime is obviously easiest in the summer where I can knock back rosé outside and tan, but doing it in the winter is obviously more difficult. Thank god for indoor rooftop bars, where you can get all the same NYC views without freezing to death. Here are some of our favorite indoor rooftop bars to hit when it’s f*cking cold outside.
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Just add you, your girlfriends and some jean jackets. We’ve got drinks & views on deck 😉 Open late, til 4am! #CrownNYC at @50Bowery // pic: @hypebae . . . . #CrownNYC #infatuationnyc #thirstynyc #LESismore #lowereast #50bowery #elizabethstreet #bucketlistnyc #nycbucketlist #cocktail #rooftop #nycviews #todoinny #rooftopvibes
Gerber Group’s The Crown is located on the roof of one of the few gems Chinatown has to offer, Hotel 50 Bowery, and it’s one of the only places in the city where you can get unobstructed views of both the Manhattan and Brooklyn skylines. That means double the Instagrams that you can queue up to post later on—what more could you ask for? Inside, there are plush couches (and a neon sign, because who doesn’t love a good neon sign?) and floor-to-ceiling windows so you can still capture your candids. The menu changes seasonally, but when I went over the summer, their fruity drinks and lobster roll were really f*cking good.
Fun fact: Hotel Chantelle, the Lower East Side classic, is not, in fact, a hotel! Makes sense. Like my Bat Mitzvah, the rooftop is Paris-themed, but unlike the social event of 2007, Hotel Chantelle doesn’t look like a 13-year-old-girl’s wet dream. But unless you’re going there specifically for French feels, the decor doesn’t really matter. It just looks like a cute, small rooftop bar, which is more than fine by me.
If you and your work “friends” are into happy hour, Hotel Chantelle is definitely the move because there’s rarely a line before 1am and the deals are legit. For instance, $8 for a cocktail and $42 for a pitcher. There are also $8 food specials like chicken meatballs and white truffle flatbread. (Also, fun fact, they also have a good brunch with even better drink deals.)
Broken Shaker is my favorite bar in New York. I know no one goes to a bar for the interior design, but this place has noticeably cool interior design. It was giving me Tahiti vibes in the best way possible, and the drinks were amazing. I actually went here on my birthday, and because
I wouldn’t shut the f*ck about it being my birthday we were so sweet to the other bar-goers, we managed to snag a cocktail table with two wicker peacock chairs and drink all damn night. The views were sick, the drinks were delicious, and the bartenders were really hot. What else could you want in a bar?
The Water Tower
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We love both views; when the city lights illuminate the dark sky and river at night 🌃, and when the Sun ☀️ shows us in the light how beautiful city we live in. The Water Tower is open from 2 pm on weekends. • • • • #thewatertower #williamsburg #hotspot #hotelrooftop #thewilliamsburghotel #cocktailbar #nycnightlife #nycnights #brooklyn #rooftopbar #nycviews #newyorklike
Williamsburg is usually not on my list of places I want to go, because hipsters with micro-tattoos and ironic top hats aren’t really my cup of tea, but The Williamsburg Hotel is my exception. It’s hands down the coolest hotel I’ve ever been to, and I will gladly stay here when I make more money and can afford it. The Water Tower is, you guessed it, on the roof and it definitely fits with the funky aesthetic of the hotel. Even though most rooftops have pretty decent views, The Water Tower’s view is truly unreal because you’re looking across the East River at all of the Manhattan apartments you can’t afford. I’ll drink to that.
Also, unlike other misleading names, The Water Tower is kind of a water tower. No, it never held water, but it’s a giant glass structure shaped like one. So the views are too legit to quit because they’re panoramic. It’s kind of mesmerizing being in there because it feels like you’re in a bubble floating above the street.
JIMMY at The James
Unlike a lot of rooftop bars, this place looks like it was designed for the winter. By that, I mean it’s really cozy and decorated kind of like a super chic ski chalet. I’m definitely into that and will probably be holed up there all weekend. No, you can’t go in the pool this time of year, but that’s why they designed the inside to make it so appealing. And the drinks all have cute/weird names like Grapes of Wrath, Catch Your Pikachu, and Legal in Vermont. I don’t know what those last two drink names mean, but whatever. The drinks are tasty and the atmosphere is really cozy, so if you don’t feel like drinking a cocktail with a lame name at your apartment, go here.
Images: The Crown at 50 Bowery; jimmyatthejames, thewatertowerbar, brokenshaker, hotelchantelle, thecrownnyc / Instagram
I’ve lived in this city for so long that truly nothing phases me anymore, and that’s a personal achievement of which I’m very proud. However, there is one exception to my inability to experience awe, and that is when Gingerbread Lane comes to town, when Bloomingdale’s is decked in twinkly lights and, of course, when drinking spiked eggnog and hot chocolate is not only acceptable, but encouraged. I’m talking about the most wonderful time of the year, people! The motherf*ckin’ holidays! Am I getting too excited? Whatever. One more thing this New Yorker loves about the holidays in this godforsaken city is the festive decor that takes over my favorite watering holes, hotels, and restaurants. If you, too, have no shame in your game and want to sip spiked eggnog under mistletoe, but don’t know where to go, I got you. These are the most festive holiday spots that you don’t already know about.
This is the type of place I usually avoid because lots of people and staying out past 10pm aren’t really my vibe, but I think I may just move in here between the months of December and March for the holiday themed pop-up. The Lobby Bar will be transforming into what the Dream is calling The Winter Rose Garden and what I call What Dreams Are Made Of. This particular pop-up is exciting because it’s the downtown hotel’s first foray into holiday festivities, and rest assured, they’re pulling out all the damn stops. I’m talking oversized rose walls (made with 15,000 red roses), red furniture, and more candles than Anthropologie. And obviously, they have a special menu of holiday-inspired cocktails. The Primrose Cider is my personal fave because it’s made with classics like sparkling rosé, Barking Irons Applejack, cinnamon syrup, lemon juice, and a rose ice cube. I mean, yum?
This is the only place in Midtown I’ll go without complaining about all the finance bros Juuling everywhere I look. For this holiday pop-up, which they’re calling Midwinter Nights’ Dream, they are seriously going all out, and I’m not mad about it. As much as I love holiday-themed alcohol, the actual reason I love this time of year is because of the genuinely cheerful atmosphere, and this place understands that. Obviously, they’re doing the red and gold ribbons, the hanging lights, and the gorgeous garland, but most importantly, they’re having a tunnel of light, because if you go to a holiday pop-up and didn’t post an Instagram of it, did you even go? As for the holiday menu, def opt for a Peppermint Mojito, which is a normal mojito, but served in an ornament! Is that festive af or what?
If you don’t remember from my last article where Magic Hour got a mention re: where to drink enormous drinks, let me just say that I love this place. For the holidays this year, it will turn into what I can only imagine is Nicki Minaj’s wet dream. It’s called Pink Holiday Playground and will boast ceilings covered in hot pink twinkly lights, oversized disco balls, and human-sized festive bears. Oh, and there’s also a carousel, because why not? Not that it’s a competition, but Magic Hour is playing to win and they got my vote. Also, my general policy at bars is to not eat the food, but I’ll make an exception for the Pink Dough Pie, which is not only meant for 12 people, but it’s also a delish boozy apple cider doughnut-pie hybrid (sold) filled with Honeycrisp apples and drizzled with a maple bourbon glaze, topped with pink sprinkles and pink chocolate balls. My love language is officially sweet pizza that will get me drunk. How do people even come up with this stuff?
Club Wyndham Midtown 45
Though technically neither a bar nor a restaurant, Club Wyndham earned its spot on this list because it is committed to spreading holiday cheer, like, for real. Don’t believe me? Check out the aggressively Instagrammable holiday suite inspired by, you guessed it, Buddy the f*ckin’ Elf. By the way, that movie was released in 2003, so if you don’t already feel old af, how about now? Just from looking at the photos of this suite, I can say with confidence that there were no cotton-headed ninny-muggins on this hotel’s design team, and that I am blown away. Because you are absolutely playing yourself if you think you aren’t already dead-set on booking this suite, I’ll let you know what’s included, starting with the full kitchen that’s stocked with the ingredients to recreate Buddy’s famous spaghetti and syrup dish. Honestly, I don’t really know if that’s a selling point, but I do love a hotel suite with a full kitchen. My personal favorite element of this suite, though, is the enormous living room that’s fully decked out in holiday garb (including an oversized Christmas tree). If that’s not festive, tell me what is. I’ll wait.
Sunday in Brooklyn
I am a Manhattan snob and generally don’t acknowledge the other boroughs, but Sunday in Brooklyn is the one exception. Running through the end of December, this beautiful restaurant that makes a case for minimalist design is doing SNOWday in Brooklyn. Yes, their holiday pop-up has arrived and I’m already on the L. I’ll get to the menu in a minute, but first I want to talk about the vibe of the place during this magical time. Some of these pop-ups go a little overboard (do a bar crawl one weekend and lmk which ones you think those are), but Sunday in Brooklyn is classy af. It’s how I imagine Aidan and Carrie would decorate his Suffern house for the holidays if they had stayed together. The place generally has kind of a rustic feel, but with the garlands hanging from the wooden beams on the ceiling and the wreaths in every window, it’s hard to stay away. I ordered the Scroogin’ For A Bruisin’ because I love a good Grease reference, but also because it’s delicious with scotch, baijiu, China-China Amer, pineapple, cinnamon, sesame oil, and brown rice. Those last two ingredients threw me too, but they’re only there to give the drink a little bit of texture, not to give it a salad dressing flavor.
The NoMad Bar
Before this past Sunday, the only time I’ve ever been to The NoMad Bar was on a horrible date that ended with him telling me how much he misses his ex girlfriend. Awesome. Anyway, after hearing about this place’s new Holiday Spectacular cocktail popup, I decided to start positively associating it with two things I love: Christmas and alcohol. Honestly, they didn’t have to do much beyond the bar’s typical decor because it’s already pretty festive in a very chic way. Dark leather tufted booths, glossy wooden tables, the kind of lighting that only seems to exist in Woody Allen movies…etc. The one thing they’re doing differently for their Holiday Spectacular is the charming cocktail menu that’s separated by Naughty and Nice cocktails. Lol. I had one from each column and let my reaction determine which I am and, to everyone’s surprise, I’m nice! The Winter Wonderland, which is a milky punch—that tastes like pumpkin pie in cocktail form—is served in a snow globe. I can’t resist a snow globe. This is also a fun bar to hit up because the NoMad Hotel is a cool place to walk around afterwards, especially when you’re a little tipsy.
Images: Winter Rose photo by Edward Menashy; Midwinter Nights’ Dream photo Courtesy of Michael Kleinberg; Magic Hour photo by Sarah Kelley; Club Wyndham photo courtesy of Club Wyndham; Sunday in Brooklyn photo by Eric Medsker; The NoMad Bar photo courtesy of The NoMad Bar
Remember that scene in the Sex and the City movie when Carrie asks Jennifer Hudson why she moved to New York and she dead-ass said, “to fall in love”? Yeah…lol. Look, I moved here two years ago (for a job) and I’ve learned that in order to fall in love, you have to go on a first date. I miss college, a place where I could meet my boyfriend at a fraternity party while fully blacked out and not have to worry about it. Needless to say, we met, made out, ate leftover Chipotle in my dorm room and then dated for two years. Those were the f*cking days. Post-grad dating in New York is nothing like that, for a number of reasons (like the epidemic of guys who will ghost you after meeting your family but then watch all your Insta stories), but also because you will have to slog through lots of first dates.
So all of this made me think about why I hate first dates so much and I landed on the following: meeting up with a person, whether you have previously met or not, at a loud bar at 8pm on a Tuesday sucks. It just does. Unless you work until 8pm, in which case, I’m so sorry, no sound-minded person wants to put on makeup and a cute outfit and sip cocktails at the time you’re usually clicking “watch next episode” on Netflix. So then I thought: why don’t we just not do the whole “let’s get drinks” thing for a first date, and let me just say, I’ve never been happier. So if you’re interested in something other than screaming over each other over $14 cocktails, read on for NYC date options that are not at a bar.
1. Brooklyn Farmacy & Soda Fountain
Ok, I know this sounds aggressive, but maybe not! I’m a messy, disgusting eater, so I figure the guy who may end up dating me would probably like to find out if he can stand the sight of me deep-throating a cheeseburger sooner rather than later. I’m just looking out. Anyway, this Cobble Hill spot is too f*cking cute to pass up. Seriously, I am made of ice and even I loved it, but more importantly, Blake Lively loves it. Okay, so if you are unclear as to what this place actually is, allow me to enlighten you. Brooklyn Farmacy & Soda Fountain is an old-school diner in an authentic pharmacy circa the 1920s. According to the website, the exterior was ugly af, so the current owners redid it so that it matched the adorable interiors, which haven’t been touched (except for necessary changes, like electric and plumbing) since the pharmacy opened. This place serves classics like banana splits, corndogs, etc.
Since no one reading this was on the dating scene back in the days when the youths actually went on dates to places like this, you won’t be able to appreciate it from a nostalgic perspective, but you will be able to obsess over it from an aesthetic perspective. If you’re going to go here, don’t pretend you’re too cool to be there and order something stupid. Live it the f*ck up and get a root beer float with two straws and chase it with a big-ass order of fries. If there is no second date after going here, he ain’t worth sh*t. Next!
2. Kick Axe
I don’t know about y’all, but I love a good pun. You know what else I love? Winding up and hurling a three-pound axe across a room. Just fun girly things! Full disclosure, if you don’t have a sense of humor, this place isn’t for you. Unlike bowling (ew) or shooting (gag), no one is actually good at throwing an axe. But that’s why it’s so fun. This place is also really cool because, unlike your childhood bowling alley, there is an aesthetic here. If you’ve ever been to one of those wineries in Redhook, it kind of looks like that, except there’s a giant area blocked off for guests to catapult axes through the air with the greatest of ease. Book a reservation and eat/drink first and throw axes after. And if the date goes poorly, you already have a weapon in hand! (Kidding. Am I? …Yeah okay.)
3. Comedy Cellar
This is my favorite place in the world, which is saying a lot considering I’ve been to the Amsterdam Cheese Museum twice. Seriously, if I could get married at Comedy Cellar, I would. *Googles if Comedy Cellar does weddings* Look, this is truly a perfect place to go on a first date because you’ll know immediately if he/she has a sense of humor or is the type of asshole who heckles comedians. These are the only qualities you need to know about a person! You’ll also find out if he/she can hang pretty quickly because if you’re going to Comedy Cellar in a group of two, you will most likely be seated in the front row, which is essentially on the stage and there’s nothing better than Amy Schumer asking how you and your date met. You will get called out and if your date can roll with it, he/she’s a keeper! Comedy Cellar, or any comedy club for that matter, is also amazing because you don’t really have to talk. In fact, don’t talk! The comedians will yell at you and that’s embarrassing. I know what you’re thinking: but if we don’t talk, how will we get to know one another? Look, you don’t learn anything of substance on a first date, okay? You learn what kind of food they don’t like, how many siblings they have and, if you’re lucky, how over their ex they are. So Comedy Cellar is a good and realistic alternative to the classic, “what’s your favorite color?” kind of questions on a “let’s get drinks” first date. There’s also a bar next door where you can get drinks after, so chill.
4. The Belfry
Most bars have a trivia night and, in my opinion, you will find out everything you need to know about a person based on how they perform at trivia.The Belfry is a cool of-the-moment bar, but on Tuesdays, they have a flamin’ hot game of trivia! Of course, they have delicious discounted specials that change every week, so if you like cheap bar food that’s usually expensive while you realize you know absolutely nothing about World War I, the Belfry is for you. If you’re wondering why this place is different/better than other bars who do trivia, I’ll tell you. Those other places are horrifying sports bars that have inexplicably sticky floors and toilet paper everywhere. Like your college bar, only worse because you’re not in college anymore. The Belfry is actually a really cool bar and somewhere you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be if you ran into someone you know there any other night of the week. It’s chic, it’s delicious, and it’s actually pretty expensive, but 100% worth it.
5. Escape The Room
I’d have to say that I lost my innocence after seeing Brie Larson slay in Room. This movie freaked me out so much that I am truly shocked people are willing to pay money to get locked in a room with other people, relying on clues to get themselves out. However, I did an escape room once and it was f*cking fun. There were moments when I thought, “Yep, this is how I’m going to die,” but there were also moments when I realized that maybe I wouldn’t be the first to go if the Hunger Games were real! Escape rooms are a great first date because if you’re smart (hello), you get to show off how clever you are, which is such a turn-on, right? If you are both dumb and can’t figure out how to escape, they will let you out, and you can laugh about it after. After that, you can celebrate not dying with a drink or seven! And if your date sucks, you can take the escape room literally and run away after.
Images: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash; escapetheroomusa, belfrynyc, comedycellarusa, kickaxethrowing, brooklynfarmacy / Instagram
Planning sucks, and bachelorette parties are a ton of work. So we’re taking all the guesswork out of planning a bachelorette party by breaking down top bachelorette destinations. Our guides will tell you where to stay, eat, party, how to get around, and give you a sample itinerary that you can follow. You’re welcome.
In light of the super sweet (just kidding) comments in our recent The Top 5 Overdone Bachelorette Party Destinations, we decided to offer a bachelorette guide in a city that is both home to most (don’t @ me if you don’t live here) and cooler than, say, Las f*cking Vegas. Am I building this up too much? Probably. It’s Brooklyn, specifically the Williamsburg area, where all the former Murray Hill bros who are now taking over Brooklyn live. Hurry, before it’s too late! Book your bach weekend in Brooklyn for a good time in a place as full of ironic mustaches as it is under-the-radar bars.
Now, Brooklyn is def on its way to dethrone Manhattan as the borough in which New Yorkers actually want to live, which is saying a lot considering there was once a time that taxis wouldn’t even go to Brooklyn if they were already in Manhattan. Rude. BK is f*cking huge, so there’s a lot of ground to cover, but not to worry, we have a guide for that!
How To Get There
If you live in the Tri-State area, congrats, you’re already there! You can take just about any subway from any borough into most parts of Brooklyn. Since we’re mainly focusing on Williamsburg, Greenpoint, and Bushwick, you’ll be going off the L, G, and M trains, mostly. You may have to walk a little more to get to where you’re going than you would in Manhattan, but that’s what ya do in New York, so deal with it. If you live in another state, there are two airports in New York (LaGuardia and JFK) and one in New Jersey (Newark Liberty—but like, Jersey). Flying into LaGuardia is the best bet because it’s closest to Brooklyn and traffic is literally always the stuff of nightmares. If you don’t want to spend all of your rent money on an Uber from the airport and have a ton of time to kill, take the E train. You’ll be waiting for the train in an oven (the station) and will have to transfer at least once, and it will take anywhere from 2 to 17 hours, but the amount of money you’ll save will (maybe) make it all worth it. Honestly, I’d just take a cab.
Where To Stay
New York is home to killer hotels, so def splurge on nice digs for the weekend. Our Betches-approved recommendation? The Williamsburg Hotel, which is walkable from the Bedford Ave L stop. We f*cking love it, it’s the perfect mix of yuppie and what BK used to be. It’s also right next to, like, everywhere, so you don’t have to spend a lot of money or time getting from place to place. The most amazing thing about this hotel, though, is its rooftop/pool situation. If you live in New York, you know that there is a shortage of pools here, so the fact that there’s one here is huge. And, even better, hotel guests get priority access.
We Stan a New York hotel with a pool. And because it’s right across the
street water from Manhattan, Williamsburg happens to have a few different subway lines running through it, so you can at least subway to your destinations and save money (because you’ll be wasted on the way back, so it’s better just to Uber). Also, if being #convenient and #efficient (hi) really excites you, you’ll be happy to know that you can walk to most restaurants and bars in the immediate area. More on this later on, y’all.
How To Get Around
New York is a walking city, so you really don’t have to spend a ton on transportation. Of course, there will be times when you’ll want to Uber (see: 3am), but for the most part, you can walk or take the subway.
Where To Eat
You literally have to book one of your dinners at Antica Pesa—specifically, your classy dinner when your group has gotten all dressed up. Like most amazing restos, Antica Pesa has two locations: one in Williamsburg and one (the OG) in Trastevere, a neighborhood in Rome. I mean, you know this place is legit if there are only two locations and one of them is in f*cking ITALY. If you’re a pasta fiend (welcome, sister), order the ragú d’antra. (But really, you can’t go wrong with any of the pasta dishes.) On keto or something? That’s fine—they have plenty of protein options, like grilled branzino and hand-cut beef tartare. Food won’t taste the same after this, and it will def be a meal to remember.
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Reservations have officially opened for NYC Summer Restaurant Week! We will be offering a $42 three course dinner menu from July 22 until August 16, Sunday through Friday evenings with selections like our Penne Pomodoro e Mozzarella, Insalata Vignarola, and Tiramisù! Click our story for more information #anticapesa
Obv, we have to include some killer brunch spots on this list, so I’m starting off strong and throwing out Sauvage. If you have Instagram/know a single human who lives in Greenpoint, you know what Sauvage is. If neither of these things apply to you, allow me to open your eyes to le best seasonal French food. This place is so bougie that this sentence exists on their website: “We are inspired by outsiders and the outdoors; by naturalists and botanists, farmers and wine-producers, and anyone who works to craft their own dreams, hewn from boundless creativity and restless energy.” Alrighty, then. The best thing on the menu is hands down the almond french toast. Everyone who eats it, eats it like Meg Ryan in Katz’s Deli in When Harry Met Sally.
Dceptive name aside, Extra Fancy is f*cking good and has serious ~vibes,~ especially if the weather is good. This Williamsburg locale is def not fancy—like, at all—but it has a huge patio with picnic tables/benches/bar out back and a separate patio for dining. This place kind of feels like if pubs were a thing in the U.S. The burger is fantastic, so if you’re a firm believer in calories not counting when you’re on vacation (which we all should be), order up.
Gemelli is another good dinner or lunch spot (that you’ll have to take the L to, but it’s worth it) that literally just opened, so you can tell everybody you discovered it (we won’t tell). With a green tropical-looking bar (appropriately dubbed “the green room”) and an outdoor patio, you’ll get the perfect Instas of your Mediterranean-inspired fare. Gemelli has enough on the menu that even the pickiest eater in your group will find something to enjoy, whether it’s a meatball sub smothered in cheese (that, dw, you can also get vegetarian), seared provolone served in a cast-iron skillet (think Italian queso), or pesto penne with homemade pesto. Oh, they also have a killer brunch menu.
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Other must-dine places include: Sunday in Brooklyn, Shelter Pizza, Xixa, Gran Eléctrica, Seawolf, or (yes) Smorgasburg.
Where To Party
AKA the most important part of the trip. Let’s start on a slightly off-beat note, shall we? House of Yes in Bushwick is a movie any day of the week, but on Thursdays they throw Dirty Thursday nights, which have themes like 90s night, Rihanna night, etc. On the weekends, their themes are a lot more out-there (in a fun way) and intense—as in, if you try to show up not fully decked out to theme, you can’t come in. This place is so f*cking fun and is a strict no-judgment zone, so you can get weird. Also, the bathrooms are incredible. You’ll see what I mean when you go there. Just, if you’re gonna go? Be cool. Don’t be that shrieking bachelorette party.
Schimanski is perf if the bridal party are still not over their rave days. This club/bar/event space has multiple rooms and hosts acts like Space Jesus, Keys N Krates, and Zhu.
Want to do something really out-of-the-box, yet still memorable (and a little bougie)? Go see a show by Company XIV, which puts on burlesque adaptations of classics like Alice In Wonderland and The Nutcracker. Everyone in the company is so hot and talented, and the shows are incredible. Think tons of skin, tons of glitter and rhinestones, and choreography you couldn’t replicate if you took a muscle relaxer.
Last and equally as great is Kinfolk94, which is the happy medium between a bar and a club. Like, you don’t have to dress up super fancy (but you can if you want), but there are awesome DJs who spin killer mixes of current hits and throwback jams. I’m not going to tell you how to spend your money, but if you’re bringing a big group, it’s probably better to coordinate ahead of time with Kinfolk and reserve a table so you can skip the line. The drinks are a tad expensive (as in, like, $12 for a cocktail), but not guess-I’ll-just-be-sober expensive.
Other fun af places to go out are Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club (if you want to cab way out to Gowanus), Freehold, Lot45 (which can be a little hit or miss, so go when they have an event like Drake vs. Kanye night), Baby’s All Right, and Elsewhere.
Thursday, Day 1
- Arrive in BK (even though you were prob only, like 20 mins away at work before this)! Drop your stuff off at the Williamsburg Hotel and get acquainted with your five-star home for the weekend.
- Walk ~15 minutes to Extra Fancy for dinner and sit on the back patio (the dining one, not the bar one). After dinner, either head to the bar part of the patio or back inside the restaurant for a few drinks before venturing to the next spot. You’ll want to be slightly buzzed before arriving, so knock ‘em back… responsibly, of course.
- Uber to House of Yes! Ok, so if you want a full HOY experience, you will have to be ok with wearing something fun to dinner because there will be no time to go back to the hotel and change before making the journey to Bushwick.
- The night will be similar to that episode of Sex and the City where they went to Trade, except HOY isn’t specifically a gay club. They are incredibly LGBTQ-friendly/supportive, though. Again, like I said, don’t be that bachelorette party.
- Get Artichoke Pizza (right next to HOY) after your night so you don’t die tomorrow.
- Goodnight world.
Friday, Day 2
- Late and leisurely brunch at Sauvage to recollect yourself after the latest night of your life.
- Once you are feeling like a slightly more functional member of society, head to The Brooklyn Barge, which is exactly what you think it is: a bar on a floating barge. The drinks are a tad on the absurd side price-wise, so if you want another reason to recover after last night, only get one or two drinks here and spend the rest of your time admiring the view, which is amaze.
- Head back to the hotel to lay by/go in the pool and get a little tan before the night begins in a few hours. Maybe get a facial in the spa while you’re at it. Or just take a nap.
- Get ready for dinner.
- Walk exactly two seconds to Antica Pesa and enjoy an amaze dinner/bottle(s) of wine. This is the place you’ll want to make emotional toasts and have actual conversations because while it’s def a vibe, it’s quiet. Like, your parents would like it.
- Take a quick cab to Théâtre XIV, where they have 10pm shows on Fridays and Saturdays. Or, if you’re too glittered out from House of Yes, head to Lot45 or any of the other aforementioned places before it gets too late to get in. Orrr, if you’re really feeling
friskyenergetic, you can go to the show at Theatre XIV and then walk to Lot45.
Saturday, Day 3
- Wake up and hydrate for Y7 yoga! It’s bikram and kind of feels like you’re doing yoga on the sun, but feeling the
poisonalcohol drain from your body is def worth it. Y7 plays amazing hip-hop music the entire time, so if you want to flow to something that isn’t the breeze rustling leaves, Y7’s got you.
- You will be drenched after Y7 and, if you’re like me, will be rocking a concerning shade of pink. Maybe rinse your face off at the studio before walking to Sauvage and if a 20-minute walk is too much for you after sweating out all of the calories you’ve ever ingested, maybe go to Sunday in Brooklyn instead. This is just as charming and delicious and a lot closer to walk to.
- Head back to the hotel to save the public from your stench and spend the afternoon by the pool.
- Dinner at Gemelli, where, if you’ve been saving an Instagrammable outfit (aside from your HOY one), this is the place to pull it out.
- Uber to Kinfolk94, get situated at your table and drink the night away! This isn’t the kind of place you’d like, run into Beyoncé, but it’s def a scene. So if you want a quiet night of cocktails and friends, this isn’t the place for you. It’s a good f*cking time, though.
Sunday, Day 4
- Blessed day! Uber to brunch at Randolph Beer in Williamsburg, which is a slightly industrial restaurant close to the hotel but not near any subways (you could take the bus, but like… no). As its name implies, they have a lot of beer, so if you want a pint to go with your pancakes, we feel you. But they also have amazing cocktails that you can get by the pitcher, so RIP in advance. This place also has graffiti all over the walls, so cheers to all your brunch Boomerangs.
- Head back to the hotel to gather your things and subway/Uber back to your life. Or continue day drinking in Brooklyn if you’re a local! Yolo.
Images: Thought Catalog / Unsplash; companyxiv, houseofyesnyc, gemellibk, sauvage_nyc, anticapesa, wburghotel / Instagram
What does a betch love more than her iPhone or a bottle glass of wine? Pizza. For centuries, drunk betches have scarfed down thousands of slices around the world. Pizza is the solution to just about every issue: broke? Get a 99-cent slice. Breakup? Eat your way through a whole box. Kavanaugh? Inhale an entire pizza place. Lacking on your Instagram game? Museum of Pizza.
That’s right. If you thought The Ice Cream Museum was the most extra thing to hit the ‘Gram, get ready for two weeks of pizza-filled posts. The Nameless Network, an entertainment company, has created The Museum of Pizza, opening in Williamsburg from October 13-28. This Instagram thirst trap museum is full of pizza themed art and immersive pizza rooms. From the “pizza vortex” to the “cheesy cave,” you can bask in the glories of what heaven looks like while getting some fire Instas. The captions will be endless.
#MoPi (the succinct but somewhat unfortunate nickname for the museum) also recently released a promo video that’s legit soft-core pizza porn. And it’s kind of amazing. People seductively eat pizza in next to no clothing, moaning and have tomato sauce dumped on their heads. It’s basically what everyone thinks they look like eating pizza, but obvs, they don’t.
The Museum of Pizza website writes, “Pizza does not judge; it is always for the people, by the people—and that’s why we love it.” Pizza doesn’t care if you fall asleep with it smeared against your face when you’re blacked out. It also doesn’t care when you throw it up the next morning. Pizza is America, and it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty or any pizza boxes I’ve ever seen.
In case you’re wondering, there is some real art being displayed. Works like Andrew W.K.’s “Pizza Guitar” and Hein Koh’s “Mystic Pizza” can be found in the museum as well. But don’t pretend you’re going for the art, we know you just want the selfies in the “pizza beach” room. That’s like going to The Museum of Sex and saying you’re there to learn about the history of coitus. No b*tch, we know you just want to jump into the boob castle. This is pizza, so please, don’t get all high and mighty and ruin it for all of us. Xo.
The Museum of Pizza also donates a portion of the tickets to provide meals for a family in need, so you’re basically a philanthropist if you go to this. It like, totally counteracts your 400 selfies (that you’ll one hundred percent hate all of because Becky can’t get the f*cking lighting right). So bring your best photographers friends to experience another food-themed Instagram paradise.
Check out the Museum of Pizza website for tickets and more info.
Images: Hein Koh, Sarah Bahbah / Museum of Pizza; Giphy
As someone who’s braved the streets of New York for several years now (someone please buy me a medal), I can confidently say that living in New York certainly has its perks. Like, waking up every morning to the smell of fresh garbage and urine or slowly losing the will to live one MTA train delay at a time. Also, I guess we have some good bars too. How else are we to cope with 50 percent of our paychecks going to 20 feet of cubic space in an apartment in the shittiest part of Brooklyn than by drinking our sorrows away with $11 Bud Lights? The city! It’s magical here! If you can imagine, not all bars are as great as I just made them out to be. While some bars have hot AF clientele (re: hot husband material, beautiful douchebags, generally attractive humans), other bars have bigger red flags than my Hinge suggested matches. Luckily for you betches, my standard for bars pretty much begins and ends at “is it open?” So here’s a list of all the trashiest NYC bars you should f*cking run from should anyone suggest it. Learn from my mistakes. I’m super giving like this.
Hair Of The Dog
Location: East Village
Biggest Red Flag: That it’s patrons think it’s socially acceptable to dry hump ON THE FLOOR
I literally wish I made this up. I’m telling you rn the things I have seen at this hedonistic den of sin cannot be unseen. This establishment is what the kids these days call a “trap house” disguised as college sports bar. Located in the East Village, it doesn’t matter what time of day you show up at at this place, you can always find at least one person vomiting in the bathroom sink and/or belligerently dry-humping in the corner. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I’ve seen a couple start hooking up by the beer pong table, topple over onto the floor AND CONTINUE HOOKING UP. Look, am I saying I don’t frequently hang out at this establishment? I am not. But I
like to sabotage my life and happiness can never say no to a place that sells $12 pitchers. We all have our crosses to bear!
Biggest Red Flag: The line for the bathroom
The Woods is fine during the day, but at night this chill hangout spot gets sketchy AF. Like, watch your drink sketchy AF. The crowd shifts from Brooklynites searching for some sliver of outdoor space to people who think that visiting a bar in Williamsburg will up their street cred. Think: the place where frat bros come after they’ve been kicked out of every bar in Manhattan… before midnight, and girls who think it’s “edgy” to drink ciders. If you like to get propositioned with coke in line for the bathroom then you’ll probs love this place, but if you like drinking literally anywhere else in an environment that’s not filled with literal sea creatures, then maybe try someplace else. Idk.
Location: Greenwich Village
Biggest Red Flag: That there’s a stripper pole in the middle of the bar
Where do I effing begin with this place? First of all, Greenwich Village is one of my favorite areas in the city, and the fact that this establishment dare bring A PIRATE THEME to this otherwise chic AF environment is a crime against humanity. Yes, you heard me right, this bar is entirely pirate themed. And while that in itself should be a reason for no human with working eyes and ears to ever step foot in this abomination, there’s actually even more disturbing sh*t that happens here. Like the fact that there’s karaoke and A STRIPPER POLE in the middle of the goddamn building. There’s also beer pong in the back! You know, in case you didn’t already humiliate yourself enough with your belligerent rendition of “Baby Got Back” while using the stripper pole as a prop to showcase your immeasurable talents. So, what I’m saying is, I guess there’s something for everyone here.
^^ actual footage of things I’ve seen go down at this bar
Location: Midtown East
Biggest Red Flag: Its patrons
I generally try and stay below 34th street, because upper Manhattan is about as easily accessible from my Brooklyn apartment as the Moon. That said, every once in a while I’m forced into going out in that area by my one friend who’s always telling me how “fun” midtown is and how all the “hot guys” frequent those bars. First of all, I’ve never felt so betrayed in my life than when I showed up to her beloved Turtle Bay only to be surrounded by what can only described as a mix between a 30-year-old frat bro and a Jersey Shore club extra. (I must have come on a good night, because any other night it’s literally just college kids with fakes.) These are the kinds of dudes who show up at happy hour and immediately start pounding shots of Jäger before they have to catch the last train back to Jersey. Charming. If you’re into meat heads, then by all means
ruin your life hang out at this bar. The free happy hours you can “win” (by just showing up one time and being female) are tempting, but just be aware that there was a recent stabbing—STABBING!—at this cesspool of an establishment earlier in the summer. Literally the NY Post agrees with us on this one—please just stay away.
Images: @mdisc /Unsplash.com; Giphy (2)
As a Brunch Boy, I’ve been brunching my way through the boroughs for years now. Usually, I’m just looking for the best avocado toast and a bloody Mary, but today I’m here to help you find guys! So here is my top five list of brunch spots where you can find not only great food but also brunch boys like me!
If you don’t want to make it out on a Saturday night, go to Freehold, located in the heart of Williamsburg. This is not—and I repeat, NOT—a date spot, but it’s definitely a place to meet some potential suitors. There’s a nice grassy outdoor space and a DJ. And they have skeeball, a super approachable way to start talking to someone new. Why not challenge a guy to a game? It’s the perfect “chill” space to mingle. DO order the brunch burger; it comes with a fried egg on top, muenster cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and tots. If you’re trying to be healthy for beach season, try the impossible (meatless) burger. DON’T be the girl stumbling over on the street waiting for her Uber at 4pm. Pace yourself, it’s an all-day event.
Another Brooklyn brunch spot on my go-to list to meet new people is Pilot. The place is quite literally a docked boat, anchored at Pier 6 in Brooklyn Bridge Park, right on the East River. It’s not just any old boat; the Pilot was built to race as one of the fastest sailboats in the world and was a ferry for soldiers in WWII. The view you see of Manhattan is totally insane and makes a great backdrop for an Instagram photo. A nautical niche place, Pilot has oysters, rosé, lobster rolls, and fun beachy cocktails. They have six different types of oysters on the menu, and I would suggest trying them all. You know what say about oysters… ahem, aphrodisiac. The seaweed salt fries are also a must-have! Pilot is absolutely perfect for the summer. It closes in October, so make sure you check it out this summer into fall. The place is owned by the same people as Grand Banks and Island Oyster (other NY locations) and Seaworthy, if you ever find yourself in NOLA.
If you’ve lived in the city and haven’t been to Bounce, do you even live here? They have your standard typical brunch basics like eggs Benedict and french toast, but you should probably order some bar food. The BSC All-Star Combo gives you a little taste of everything: fried mozzarella sticks, grilled jumbo shrimp, mac and cheese bars, fried chicken strips, and two types of wings (classic buffalo and Korean). There’s always bouncers (haha) outside, giving it somewhat of a clubby vibe. The second you step inside this place, no matter what time of day or what season, it automatically becomes 2am. You end up dancing on tables and ripping shots like it’s nobody’s business. The entire floor fills up with people as the day goes on. I’d recommend going to Bounce during a sporting event—March Madness, World Series, World Cup, you name it. There are TVs on every inch of the bar, so it’s basically a giant indoor tailgate. Go in groups to meet other groups.
My next recommendation is a hidden gem in Williamsburg. If you go down Bedford Ave, a little past the main strip, you’ll find Spritzenhaus, an outdoor beer hall (biergarten). This place has high-quality micro-brews on tap: ales, wheats, lagers, ciders, Belgian-style, etc. It’s always slammed on the weekends and since it’s outside, now is the perfect time to go. You will find a ton of dudes hanging out at a long, shared table. The buzz from the beer will get you tipsy and talking. When brunching, you select your sausage first: Bratwurst, Krainerwurst, Biala Kielbasa…and then after a few more beers, you can select your next “sausage.” You name it, they have it. Since there’s not much space between parties, it’s the ideal atmosphere to meet someone new!
My final recommendation is a little more upscale. Magic Hour, at the top of the MOXY Hotel in Times Square, is owned and managed by TAO group. Once you’re on the roof you feel like you’re at a carnival for adults. The giant stack of pancakes with cotton candy on top is picture perfect. Yes, I’m talking about Instagram. And there’s a carousel that spins you around, slowly, as you drink. Magic Hour is a place where you either go big or go home. The drinks are the size of a soccer ball and are definitely made to share—another convo starter. See if a guy needs help finishing his drink, or maybe he’ll ask for your help to finish his. Drinks like the Disco Ball for All and Popcorn Anyone are among the most popular cocktails. Like Freehold, this outdoor spot has games. Specifically, a miniature putt-putt course called “Foreplay,” with animal statues in flirty poses instead of your typical windmills. If the drinks and fun atmosphere put you in the mood and you wanna make some magic of your own, check out the “Crash Pad” option on the menu. Yes, you can order a hotel room on the spot. If that’s what you’re looking for.
Follow Jeremy on Instagram at @brunchboys for more brunch porn!
Images: Jared Arango / Unsplash; Brunch Boys
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been seeing someone for two months or three years: deciding where and what to eat for dinner almost always becomes a legitimate argument, regardless of where you live. You’d think that living in one of the best cities in the world would help this issue, but you would be wrong. Actually, New York City offers too many options, so it’s hard to know where to even start, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up in just a couple of days. This isn’t Gossip Girl or Friends With Benefits; chances are, your current fling’s romance skills are not straight out of a cheesy rom-com, so it’s now or never for you to find a place and make reservations for two. Or, scratch that—even just find a table for one, because who the fuck says you can’t dress up and wine and dine yourself to a candlelit dinner in a bougie restaurant? NO ONE. Whether you’re spending V-Day solo or going on a classy af date this year, here are five romantic restaurants in NYC to have Valentine’s Day dinner at.
1. The Park
Everyone who lives in New York knows what the High Line is since it’s probably the one place you bring your parents and out-of-city friends who want to be tourists. What you’ve probably yet to see is this cute little restaurant right on 10th Ave. The ambiance is, like, so worth an Instagram (or 10) since it’s lit tf up from ceiling to floor. It has an indoor and outdoor garden, amazing food, strong drinks, and decent music you’ll find yourself nodding to from time to time. Tables are surrounded with trees and full of classy centerpieces that set the mood.
2. Sofia Wine Bar
Nothing goes with Valentine’s Day better than a fuck ton of wine and good-ass pizza. Fucking obviously. If you plan on spending the day with your anti-Valentine’s Day GFs, by yourself (because less people = more for you), or keeping things low-key with your latest Hinge guy, you’ll want to grab a table in this cute little Midtown East spot. The wine options are endless, the menu is worth salivating over, and like, the service is actually good. I know, am I sure this is in the city? YES.
If you live in Queens, you already love this place. If you don’t, then you’ll at least consider borough hopping. Maiella sits in Long Island City, right on the water with a ‘gram-worthy view of the skyline. It serves carb-loaded Italian dishes and yummy drinks. For Valentine’s Day, they offer a special menu that includes lobster, spaghetti, and chocolate covered strawberries for just $75.
4. The River Cafe
Some of you hate trekking to Brooklyn for fear of the hipster apocalypse, but honestly, there are some hidden gems with fucking amazing food that seriously makes the trip all worth it. This place sits right on water and hosts quite a few weddings, so you know you’re heading into lovey-dovey central. However, the view and atmosphere are to die for, so you’ll probably consider having your own here. They have a special Valentine’s Day menu with bougie af foods like caviar, truffle, and filet mignon, but they do ask you look your best in their dress code, so maybe you’ll feel like you’re kind of a big deal.
5. La Grenouille
This restaurant has definitely been in New York for like, decades. Like, your great-great-grandpa used to come here all the time or some shit (IDK, I don’t know your family history). This French restaurant has long been known for its totally gorgeous flower arrangements and high-end cuisine. For Valentine’s Day, they’re offering a four-course dinner and a complimentary bottle of really classy Champagne that I can’t pronounce. Obviously, seats are limited so if you’re looking to be blown away, you’ll want to reserve ASAP.